FWFW 3 - 50 (Patreon)

Okay, this time, I'm sure we're on the right chapter number. There's supposed to be a Bronwyn chapter at 49, but you folks already have it from before my reorganizing.

I'm not sure I love where I've gone with this Olivia/Adaida/Bronwyn thing. I have a loose plan in my mind, but if you all hate or enjoy it, please let me know. Also, did I go too far with the passionate descriptions? I don't want to alienate any readers that have come this far with my books.

Thanks for your help!

-Plum

Olivia sat alone, looking out over the commons at the academy. After showing Oylla to the portal stone and setting her permissions, she’d still had a large part of the afternoon to herself, as she wasn’t expected to attend any of her classes until the next day. There were quite a few students on the lawn, but Olivia could sense some tension in the air, and none of the students moved about alone. Everywhere she looked, students were paired up or in larger groups. “Except for me, that is.”

She leaned back and turned her face to the sun, enjoying the warmth in the early autumn breeze. She imagined the academy would get some snow soon, up in the mountains the way it was. She glanced over the rooftops toward the tall peak where the teleportation pad was, and she saw that it, indeed, was clothed in a thick blanket of white. If it had been snowing on such a nearby mountain, surely the academy should have some on the ground. “Is the weather warded somehow? I bet it is!”

“Talking to yourself?”

Olivia turned to see Adaida, Veena, and Shani walking up behind her. “Took you guys long enough! Did you get in trouble again?”

“No, but Grobak wanted to lecture us about one of his battles, and he got a little long-winded. Stupid Rald kept asking him questions, too,” Adaida said, scowling as she sat down on the bench next to Olivia.

“We’re going to the library,” Veena said. “We just wanted to escort Adaida out here, considering the murders …” She trailed off, perhaps uncomfortable with the subject.

“Speaking of that,” Adaida said, “Why are you out here alone? You promised us you’d be careful!” She poked Olivia in the shoulder.

“To be honest, I didn’t really think about it until I was out here waiting for you guys. Frankly, I wish the jerk would try me! Someone needs to put a stop to this! Poor Shathi!” Olivia said. For some reason, the image of the dead student’s remains came back to her, stronger than when she’d stood amidst it that morning. A tremble entered her voice as she continued, “Whoever did it was trying to terrorize us! They put her head in the hallway, perfectly intact, staring at her scattered remains!” A tear broke free from Olivia’s eye and rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away.

“Are you okay?” Shani asked. Adaida opened her mouth to speak but stopped, closing it again, like she didn’t know what to say.

“No, I guess not,” Olivia said. I was full of adrenaline this morning, and then I had to go straight to Oylla’s office. I don’t think I had a chance to really think about what I saw. I’m sorry, you guys,” she said, laughing at herself ruefully while wiping at her eyes.

“We should have been more aware of your feelings, Liv,” Adaida said, reaching out to hold her hand. “I think we all kind of think of you as some kind of phenom and forget that you’re a person that feels things just as much as the rest of us.”

“Sorry, Olivia,” Veena said, reaching out a small, gloved hand and resting it on her shoulder.

“Thanks for sharing your feelings, Olivia,” Shani said. “I’m freaked out about the murders, too, and I didn’t even really see the scene.”

Olivia sniffed and laughed, squeezing Adaida’s hand, then pulling hers free. “I appreciate you all so much! Now you two get going! I don’t want to make you late.”

“Well, Professor Brince is probably waiting for us, so I guess we should get going,” Veena said, though she seemed reluctant to pull her hand away from Olivia’s shoulder. “You’ll stay with Adaida? Promise?”

“Yeah, of course,” Olivia said, forcing a smile.

“See you later at the dorm then,” Shani said, and she and Veena walked off together toward the main doors to the academy. Adaida scooted sideways a little so she could look at Olivia better, and smiled, though her expression was off, almost pained. Her pale face seemed wan under the smile, and Olivia could see signs of stress—dark skin, almost like bruises, under her bright amber eyes and worry lines between her brows.

“Now, you tell me what’s the matter,” Olivia said. “I came clean, even cried in front of you all. What’s got you so stressed?”

“I think you know,” she said softly, looking down, so her thick chestnut hair fell forward, partially obscuring her face from Olivia.

Olivia felt her heart speed up. This was it—the confrontation she’d been dreading. Her stomach started to twist, and her mouth got dry suddenly. She licked her lips, trying to formulate the right words, then said, “Have I seemed different? I mean, in the way I act toward you?”

“I don’t think you’d ask that if you didn’t know the answer. What changed? You never used to pull away from me so fast, and you tried to spend more time with me whenever you could. Now you slip away whenever possible, and when we’re alone, it’s like you’re trying to get back to the others as fast as possible.” Adaida sniffed, and Olivia could see she was fighting back tears.

“It’s not that my feelings are different! I still want to be with you, to spend time with you, but, well, while I was gone, I got very close to another person. She and I were never really together before, but we sort of were forced to spend a lot of time alone, or almost alone, and things happened. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t regret being with her, other than how it makes me feel when I’m with you. I feel just sick inside. I don’t know how to explain, Adaida, but I still care about you; I still want to be close to you, but I don’t want to hurt Bronwyn. I don’t want to hurt anyone!” Olivia reached out then and tried to take Adaida’s hand, but the Ghelli pulled it away, and when she lifted her head to look at Olivia, her eyes were narrowed, angry.

“I guess we didn’t have anything really going on when you left, did we? It was just flirting and hints. Why should I expect you to keep me in your heart while you were gone?” She started to stand, but Olivia reached out and grabbed her wrist, holding her.

“Please don’t go! Let’s talk this out,” she said.

“What’s to talk about? I’ve made a fool of myself, as usual. I can’t believe how I’ve been fawning all over you since you got back, and all the while, you were wishing I’d leave you alone. You should have said something sooner!” She jerked her hand, and Olivia let go, not wanting to overpower the girl. When she saw the anger in Adaida’s face, saw the tears in her eyes, and heard the pain in her voice, her own eyes filled with tears, and she let out an involuntary sob.

“Please, Adaida! I didn’t want to hurt you. Let me explain! I don’t know what the future holds with Bronwyn and me …” she trailed off, realizing she was just babbling, and Adaida was already walking away, stiffly, clearly embarrassed and upset. Olivia watched her depart over the lawn, walking toward the cobbled path that led around the academy's main building and between the Alchemy pavilion and gardens. Suddenly, Olivia imagined Adaida’s head sitting amid a scene of slaughter, and her heart raced, her palms began to sweat, and she leaped to her feet and chased after her.

“Adaida!” she called, running over the grass, but Adaida quickened her pace, slipping through the gate to the Alchemy gardens and out of Olivia’s view. Olivia raced over the last thirty yards of grass onto the cobbled path and then took the right turn through the open, wrought-iron gate. The Alchemy gardens covered an acre or so of ground, and plants sprouted from raised beds and hung from trellised, hanging pots that made it hard to look beyond the row you were standing in.

“Adaida?” Olivia called again. She saw movement to her right, so hurried that way, only to run into a trio of second-year students. Olivia, her face panicked and eyes blazing with blue flames, grabbed their attention easily and asked, “Have you seen a Ghelli come through here? Just a minute ago? She has long, auburn hair.”

“No. Nobody has come through recently. Is something wrong?” One Ardeni student asked, stepping back to regard Olivia with wary eyes.

“I hope not,” Olivia said, then turned and ran the other way, barreling around the corner. Again, she called out, “Adaida! Please! It’s dangerous to be alone!” She raced around another corner and then another, and soon she was deep in the gardens, and she couldn’t hear or see any other students. “Godammit! Why haven’t I learned any scrying spells, a locating spell, or some other bullshit!”

Olivia felt like she was close to losing it; she was so fraught with worry. She thought about her spells, thought about Surveying Breeze and how she might use it or modify it to survey the gardens quickly, but her mind kept jumping to the imagined scene of Adaida’s slaughter, and she found she couldn’t concentrate on the spell pattern. Tears started to spring into her eyes, her breathing grew ragged, and she called out again, her voice hoarse with emotion, “Adaida! Please!”

“Hush! You’re going to get the whole campus up in arms!” Adaida said, poking her head around the corner. Olivia raced over to her, tears in her eyes, and looked around the corner and then back the way she’d come.

“You could have been murdered! Do you know what that would have done to me? To your sister? I couldn’t pick a better place for some creepy killer to be lurking about!” She reached out her hands as though to grab Adaida’s shoulders but stopped short, pulling them back with a frustrated growl. “Can we please talk? I didn’t want to hurt you, Adaida! You’re the sweetest, kindest person I’ve met here! I’d rather, oh, I don’t know! I’d rather walk over coals or something than hurt you!”

“Well, you did! I know I don’t have a right to be upset or hurt—as I said, I know we weren’t together, but I had hoped. I spent my whole break, and then the whole time you were missing, thinking about you. I’m struggling with my courses because of it! When you came back, all I could think about was how glad I was, how I wanted to spend more time with you, tell you how I really felt. I feel so stupid!”

“You’re not stupid! I had, have feelings for you too! I didn’t mean for something to happen between Bronwyn and me—I thought she and I had settled on being friends!” Olivia wiped at her eyes, annoyed by her emotions overwhelming her. She wanted to tell Adaida her feelings. She wanted to be open and make her feel better, but still, there was that pit in her stomach, that twist of guilt. She’d been so happy with Bronwyn in the dungeon. They’d shared everything and felt so close. How could she betray all that now, just because Adaida was here in front of her, her big eyes filled with tears, her nose red, and her lips quivering with emotion …

Suddenly Olivia leaned forward and kissed Adaida. She pressed hungrily against Adaida’s trembling, tear-salted lips and felt her hot breath quicken. Adaida kissed her back, reaching up to grab her neck and pulling her closer, her tongue searching for Olivia’s. Olivia pulled her in, passion clouding her mind and sending her hands down to clutch and grope at Adaida’s body.

When Adaida pulled back, panting, and started to kiss and bite at her neck, Olivia opened her eyes and stared out into the garden, and though passion-drenched emotion was filling her with heat, she couldn’t stop her mind from drifting away to Bronwyn’s smiling, laughing face as she lay next to her in their tent. She couldn’t stop remembering how they’d held hands for hours and shared so many secrets, whispering to keep from bothering Morgan in his tent. She sobbed again, letting go of Adaida’s back and reaching up to gently push her shoulders back. “Wait,” she said.

“What? Just kiss me some more,” Adaida said, leaning forward, and reaching her mouth, her hungry lips, toward Olivia’s neck again. Her breath was hot, and Olivia almost broke again, but she firmly pressed Adaida back.

“Adaida!” she hissed, her voice thick with emotion. “I can’t do this yet. I need to settle things with Bronwyn. I need to figure out my feelings. Can you give me some time?”

“Yes,” Adaida said softly, allowing Olivia to push her back. “Yes, I can. Thank you,” she said.

“Thank you?” Olivia asked softly, reaching up to stroke Adaida’s thick, soft hair.

“Yes, for letting me know I wasn’t the only one with feelings. I don’t feel as stupid now. I can wait for you to figure things out, okay? Just don’t make me wait too long. You need to make a decision, all right?”

“Yes,” Olivia said, smiling and sniffing. “You’re not stupid, Adaida, anything but.” She was about to pull Adaida into a hug when she felt her stiffen and saw her eyes grow wide, looking at something behind Olivia.