Bard of the Wild (Chapter 13) (Patreon)

We blur across the beach, a cloud of sand being left in our wake.

We are traveling at quite an unsafe speed, the wheels of Purah's proto-dune buggy leaving the sand entirely after every little incline in the rolling beaches.

Purah lets out another small cry.

"Ugh. Jeez." I grunt as for a brief moment I feel weightless only to bounce back down into the pillows below me. "If this ride was any bumpier, I could probably stick my dick inside Linkle and climax before we make it even halfway there."

I place my hand on the ceiling as I feel weightless again. Shoving myself back down as gravity retakes us yet again. "Purah. I thought you were still sore. I bet this is torturous for you."

"It is agonizing, in fact. But there is one thing that drives me TECHNOLOGY. I NEED to view that divine beast! With my new capabilities I should finally be able to discover what makes the divine beasts tick! How they're powered! How they are capable of what they do!"

"Mhm?" I hum. "How do you power this?"

"A series of three ancient cores which is performing a very complex chemical reaction to create a near endless supply of energy."

"If its endless. Why use three?" Linkle questions.

"It's... not exactly endless." Purah admits. "It produces a set amount of energy. For a long duration. This energy can be sustained for ages. It's... it's like having a cup of water, but that cup of water is always set to 'this full'. When the guardians were underground for those ten thousand years, this energy wasn't being spent, thus a majority of the cores didn't deteriorate and lose their effectiveness in said time."

"Have you come across any Guardians yet?" She continues.

"Nope." I shake my head.

"I saw a few Guardian Stalkers that were still vaguely active atop the great plateau. Just the top bit, though. The rest were buried or had their legs cut off and dilapidated." Linkle admits. "They beams they shot seemed a bit inaccurate and less powerful as well."

"Hm. Sounds like it had a warped focusing lens... or maybe it's power supply was damaged." Purah mutters in intrigue. "Stalkers need a much larger power source for their laser. The main Ancient Core they use about the size of your entire upper body. The six legs also require an ancient core each."

"Well, ah... at least now I know why it took so much effort to deflect their attacks." Linkle mutters. "But couldn't ancient cores power a divine beast?"

"Incorrect! The chemical reaction used for an Ancient Core grows less effective the larger it is! The bigger ancient cores used within Guardian Stalkers are about the limit. Cores larger than that start being less effective the bigger they get. And, while you could theoretically power a divine beast with numerous Large Ancient Cores, from what I saw during that time I went into Vah Ruta, this isn't the case as there were no hundreds upon hundreds of ancient cores littered along the insides of the divine beast!"

"This means that Divine Beasts are powered by something else entirely! It's fascinating!" Purah cheers.

I gaze out the side of the car, gesturing towards something in the distance. "Hey. Isn't that a Bokoblin camp?"

Linkle's next question dies in her throat as she peers out the window. "Huh. That is... pretty big."

"That's what-"

"That's what she said sometime last night, yes yes. We fucked I get it." Purah rolls her eyes.

My head slowly turns as I give her a flat glare." If you're sore now, just wait till I find a paddle, Purah."

"Don't threaten me with a good time." Purah smirks.

Linkle Jealously- and protectively places a hand on my chest. "No! Bad Purah! He's mine."

"Though, we should probably take care of that." Linkle gestures to the tower. "I've never seen a Bokoblin camp that large, and it's reasonably close to Lurelin Village."

Linkle and I am jostled forwards as the Purah abruptly slams on the breaks, my arms snaking out, one lashing out towards the back of one of the seats, and the other protectively wrapping around Linkle's midsection.

We remain there for a second, reeling from the abrupt stop... then we both relax.

"You're right." Purah sighs. "Alright, just be snappy about it."

She perks up immediately after. "Wait! This would be a perfect opportunity to teach you about the Sheikah slate!"

We all take a moment to clamber out of the car, moving towards the beach.

We swiftly walk towards the water, making sure to crouch among large jagged rocks that hide us from view.

Purah mutely explains things to Linkle in the background as I peer around the edge of the rock.

Numerous zigzagging wooden bridges, resting atop jagged stones and small risen sandbanks leads up to a set of wooden platforms supported by large logs with a larger MUCH larger log as a core pillar.

The main question in my mind is 'where the fuck did they get that?'.

Like, those logs are like a hundred feet long.

I haven't seen any trees that tall, so where the hell did they get it?

I shake my head.

Regardless of where they got it, this is going to be quite a task to take down. There are literally dozens of bokoblins up on those platforms.

My eyes narrow slightly as I lean forwards.

There's also little watchtowers branching out from the core pillar. Sat out in the ocean and towards the shore. It looks like those logs were cut down more recently as they appear to be a different kind of wood. They have a leafy canopy atop them, presumable to keep rain off whatever stays inside and I can faintly see wooden dowels stuck in the side of the support pillars, seeming to be the way up inside.

I can tell there are about two bokoblins is each of these little watchtowers. They seem to wield horns of some sort and have bows.

If one of those see us, they'll alert the entire camp.

A Quest has been Received.

I go back around to large stone, looking to Purah and Linkle as they look over their slates.

"Linkle... there's a lot of them." I state.

"How many."

"In the main tower, there's- well, I couldn't get an exact number, but I can tell its well over fifty. Then each of the little watchtowers has about two each, with them having a horn to alert the rest."

Linkle peers around the corner, letting out a low curse. "Shit... wait... what the hell are those?!"

"Huh?" I hum, coming to a stop beside her.

She points up into the air where...

"What the fuck?" I mutter as I watch several figures circle above. It's what looks to be... a wyvern? But like... with the head and torso of a frog?

Purah looks as well. "Ah. Aerocuda."

"What?" Linkle mutters as we dive back behind the rocks.

"Oh, those are more of a recent thing." Purah announces. "They came from up north in Holodrum about thirty years ago, pushed out by the cold Normally they'd be attacking the Bokoblins, but... they aren't? The Bokoblins tamed them?!"

"Wait wait wait." I cut in. "Pushed out by the cold... as in, this Holodrum place is getting colder?"

"Ye-" Realization flashes in her eyes. "Oooooooh. That explains a few things. Huh. We might need to head to Holodrum sometime in the future. It appears a divine beast is there."

"Regardless, as I was saying, Aerocuda are a reptilian lifeform which can fly. They have strong legs, but noticeably hollow bones thus it's pretty easy to down one if you get in a good shot with a bow and arrow."

"I see..." The Blonde beside me mutters. "Ah well. Is there anything else that has changed in the last one hundred years?"

Purah ponders for a long moment. "Not... really? There's quite a few more Lynels now as there hasn't really been anyone capable of clearing them out. Same with Hinox, Molduga, and Talus."

"Anyways, you can enter photo mode with your Sheikah Slate by pushing this little icon here, you should be able to use it to zoom in, then you've got Magnesis which grants you a beam that lets you manipulate metallic objects. I'm working on an upgrade that should allow you to manipulate even larger ones, but that's still a work in progress, then you have Cryo, which allows you to freeze things.

Linkle peers back around the rocks, looking through her sheikah slate.

I step right beside her, peering over her shoulder, one of my hands finding its way to her chest as I balance myself in a way that I won't fall forwards despite remaining on basically one foot.

"I'm seeing... a lot of reds, a few blues... there's a black... not seeing any silvers, though." She mutters under her breath.

"What's the deal with the colors? I know you mentioned red, blue and black with the Hinox, do bokoblins follow the same strength?"

"Roughly? Yes." Linkle nods as she continues to scan the camp. "A red is about on par with a regular trainee soldier, definitely stronger, yes, but their bulbous head is a fairly glaring weak point, plus their general incapability of forging any metal armor or weapons makes it so they tend to go down after one good hit. The most armor they will have is furs, but only the stronger and more experienced ones seem to have it. Next comes blue, which are slightly stronger than reds, but what sets them apart is their combat intellect. Reds flail around with weapons, but blues and up know how to use them. Decently dangerous."

"Next comes black bokoblins. Capable of lifting logs weighing upwards of a hundred pounds and swing them as if they are the lightest of Hylian blades. There are far fewer of these, but they are a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield. Then comes silver. Who are basically army generals."

"A silver bokoblin is a problem." Purah agrees from behind me. "Bokoblins around one of those will actually use tactics. Not a simple 'hit thing until it dies' like they are normally known for. They'll set traps. Retreat. Volley fire arrows. It's not pretty."

"Then you have to worry about moblins, which come in those colors as well, then the 'Bokoblin Brutes' which are like mini Hinox, they also come in Red, Blue, Black and Silver."

"What about gold?" I question.

"..."

Linkle robotically turns to me. "H-Huh?"

"What's a gold do?" I repeat.

"W-What do you mean?" She stutters.

I point to the very top of the tower... the highest platform where a small building rests. It's a little dark in there, but I could faintly see what looks like gold inside, plus, from what I know of breath of the wild, Gold Bokoblins exist. As do gold Lizalfos and Moblins.

She peers through her Sheikah slate, glaring up into the building.

A moment later, her device lowers, a look of horror on her face. "Oh sweet Hylia."

"G-Gold?" Purah mutters. "Linky, take a picture. I need to see it."

There's a small snap from Linkle's sheikah slate as we go back around the rock, she hands over her own slate to Purah who looks down at it.

"Ah." Purah says after a moment of observing the photo. "Shit."

"How do we deal with this?!" Linkle hisses.

"Think you can hit it with an ancient arrow from here?" I question.

"That's... pretty far." She mutters. "If I miss, we're probably fucked, as an Ancient Arrow leaves a pretty noticeable trail in the air, the bokoblins would likely notice that and figure out where we are."

"Let's save it for plan b, then." I mutter under my breath.

"We're dealing with sixty seven Bokoblins. Forty four red, sixteen blue, six black, and one gold." Purah announces. "Then, we have to deal with their tamed Aerocuda, of which they have eight."

"Hey Linkle. This is a little bit unrelated, but... if gold bokoblins exist, surely there must also be silver Hinox, right? Maybe even a gold one?"

"Do not fucking SAY that, Aurum you little bastard." The blonde hero growls under her breath.

I tap my finger. "Another question... but do you think that this is all of the bokoblins? They have a bridge, right? Surely there could be some hunting for food, right? Or maybe leading a raider party?"

"..."

"And considering we are crouched next to the bridge, maybe we should move so we aren't immediately discovered when said hypothetical party hypothetically returns?" I continue.

"Good Point." Purah mutter.

With that, the three of us slink off, we spend about ten minutes shoving the car out of the way, silently rolling it into a position where we could- if we so desired and needed to- make a quick escape.

Then, we began plotting.

"So. Any ideas?" I begin.

"A few." Purah admits she gestures to what looks to be... literally just a fucking pistol- albeit with a strange, rocky and blue glowy appearance. "My gun here could likely kill a bokoblin in a single shot. It's based off the guardian scout's laser weapon and can be fired sixteen times before it needs to be recharged."

"Are you sure you want to be in the fight?" Linkle questions.

"Linkle Linkle Linkle." Purah begins with a long sigh. "Linky Linking Linkle... I have been alive for over one hundred years. Did you seriously think that after the calamity I didn't return to the Sheikah village and learn to better protect myself?"

"..."

"Sheikah arts are not my focus, but I know enough to handle myself in a brawl... you don't need to worry about little ol me."

"Can you fight while wincing every time you take a step?" I raise an eyebrow.

"A much more valid question." Purah nods. "Don't worry. The pounding you gave me won't affect me... much."

I roll my eyes, reach over, then grope her breast, channeling a healing spell into her body.

She pouts at me, then lets out a quiet sigh. "You could have done that the entire time?"

"Yes." I nod once.

"Why didn't-"

""Because you were being a brat."" Linkle and I say at the exact same time, cutting her off.

"Honestly... you two." Purah sighs dramatically, shaking her head in disappointment.

I glance to the sword upon my back. "Hey... Vivi... think I can manage the song of storms?"

"The song of what now?" Purah questions.

"You... should." The sword confirms. "A weak one, at least. but if you plan to do what I think you are planning, it should suit your needs regardless."

A grin appears on my face as I turn back to the two girls. "Alright, I've got something pretty interesting I can do. So, basically-"

**Linebreak**

I lean against a rock, arms crossed, gazing up into the sky where dark clouds loom.

Turns out the song of storms takes a little while to arrive. It has been about thirty minutes since I played, but-

A drop of water hits me on the nose.

It has only just started raining.

You Have Unlocked an Achievement!

Learn the 'Song of Storms':
A long lost song capable of changing the weather itself. The question remains, was this song simply unable to be taught, or did people snuff out anyone capable of playing it out of fear of what could be accomplished.
Reward: 'Song of Storms' Bardic Masterpiece, 10000 Exp

Song of Storms: (Sing, Wind, String)
Prerequisites: Perform (String), Perform (Sing), or Perform (Wind) 8 ranks.
Effect: An ancient melody capable of bringing nature itself to tears at its beauty.
This song duplicates the effect of the 'Control Weather' spell, with the effect triggering thirty minutes after you finish playing, treating your caster level for this effect as your bard level. Only 'Rain' effects may be created by this song, thus it has no effect in a climate cold enough that any 'rain' would become snow or hail. At perform rank 15, you are capable of greater control of this effect and may duplicate all of the other effects of the 'Control Weather' spell. Additionally, at this rank, the effect begins 10 minutes after you finish playing, much like the original spell and you are treated as a Druid for the radius and duration of this spell, tripling the radius, and doubling the duration.
Use: 2 Rounds of bardic inspiration per round for 10 rounds.

And, just like that, I gained a cheat move. The ability to cast a spell I definitely shouldn't be able to.

The only problem is that it takes all but seven of my bardic inspiration.

But, with the rain, my call lightning ability will be far more powerful.

Another thing, with the harp I gained from the Sheik vault, the spells' effect is apparently multiplied by one point five. I'm just unsure of what that means.

It ordinarily has a two-mile radius and last for anywhere from four to forty eight hours.

Does the effect multiplication mean that the spell now has a radius of three miles and lasts anywhere from six to seventy two hours... or is the general power of the rain summoned increased?

I glance to the side where a new quest rests.

Bokoblin Beatdown:
A tribe of bokoblins have taken up residence in Aris Beach. This is a shame, as Aris beach is one of the greatest fishing locations in Hyrule, and for the nearby fishing village of Lurelin, the new arrivals have made it quite difficult to gain enough fish to trade for supplies. Perhaps a hero or two could save this village's only export before it becomes a real problem.

Objectives:
Destroy the Aris Beach Bokoblin Camp: [ ]

"We ready?" I question as the gentle pitter patter of rain begins to grow louder and louder.

"Yeah." Linkle nods once.

We have done a little bit of setup in the past two hours, a little observing, and a bunch of plotting.

What we saw apparently wasn't all of the bokoblins. About an hour into our stakeout a black bokoblin leading ten red and two blue returned. Bringing our total count up to a nice even eighty. It appeared to be some sort of food run as they carried back dead birds, rabbits, boars, and even a horse.

"First things first." I cross my arms above my head as Linkle jumps, her feet make contact with my forearms as she uses me as a stepping stone to leap even higher, she aims her crossbow and in what seems like an instant- an instant in which she seems to move even faster than normal- she pulls the trigger.

A blue beam arcs from her hand crossbow as she lands atop the rock behind me, it shoots through the sky, up into the little hut atop the highest point in the stilted camp.

There's a shuddering explosion as a large blue blast of fire utterly detonates the little building.

"YES!" Linkle fist-pumps, a savage grin on her face as I can see a golden limb flip wildly out of the smoke, it appears to have a little bit of the shoulder still attached from what I can see. "I hit that fucker right in the chest! He's dead as dirt!"

The arm sloshes down into the water below, as does a tremendous amount of rubble that rains down from above from the detonating hut and platform that crumbles, not being able to support its own weight any longer thanks to the massive hole the blast put in it.

A grin appears on my face from her murderous glee. The largest problem now taken care of... and believe me, it would have been a problem. The fact that any part of its body survived is a testament to its sheer durability.

That was something that was a threat. And considering silver ones use military tactics? I sort of fear what that one is capable of. Likely killing both Linkle and myself quite easily in a one-on-two fight. I doubt my Sovereign Blade in its current state would even cut that deep even if I put everything into a swing.

*BWAAAAAM*

*BWAAAAAM*

*BWAAAAAM*

The bokoblins in the watchtowers begin loudly blowing into their carved horns, alerting the entire camp- if they hadn't noticed already, given the giant fucking explosion- that something is wrong.

"Ah... I'll admit that was probably my favorite Bokoblin kill." Linkle sighs wistfully as she hops off the rock, landing beside me as I brush off my forearm.

"An arm survived." I frown.

"Yes." Purah agrees. "If you didn't kill it there, it's likely that it would have killed all three of us... I need to send a letter to Impa. She should know how big of a threat these new Bokoblins are... and to look out for Gold Moblins and Lizalfos as well."

"Welp. My turn." I smirk as I peer around the rock, making sure most of my body is in cover. "Observe, Linkle... this is the power of a bard."

"You already changed the damn weather." She deadpans. "I can't be more impressed."

I strum my fingers on the harp.

*FLASH-BOOM*

A flash of lightning ignites the sky, one of the flying creatures being struck by it.

It lets out a shriek as it begins spiraling, crashing down onto one of the platforms below and seeming to die on contact with a brutal rib-cracking crunch.

"Holy... shit." Linkle whispers.

"Bang." I grin as a moment later another flash of lightning crashes into another of the flying wyvern-like beasts.

It's dead on the spot, its blackened and charred corpse falling into the water blow.

A third bolt strikes a third another second later.

With the third bolt cast, the effect of my lingering 'song' finishes... thus, I strum again.

Three more bolts, three more downed Aerocuda.

An arrow crashes into the nearby water, missing its mark by quite a bit, but it's enough to realize that they know where we are roughly.

"Shield." I order as Linkle- who was already reaching towards Purah before I said anything- pulls out one of the large tear-drop like shield we got from Kakariko Village.

She grabs another, wielding them both, one on each arm, she looms around Purah and holds out above me.

In Purah's hands... are two sheikha slates. Both her own and Linkle's.

Another strum and three more bolts of lightning strike in quick succession. The first two downing the two remaining flying enemies, and the last one causing the nearest watchtower to explode.

A charred red bokoblin and a blackened blue bokoblin fall into the water below, hurled from their post.

"How many bolts of lightning can you summon?!" Linkle gasps.

"Enough." I grin as with another strum, the remaining three towers are taken down as well.

By this point, bokoblins are either fleeing in terror or charging at our position in frenzy

Either way, it doesn't really matter. There is only one exit to their camp here.

One exit if they don't try to swim, at least.

"Blow the closest."

The bokoblins who had reached the very end of the bridge are consumed in a brilliant flash of light as the wooden planks beneath their feet are vaporized.

The Sheikah slate bombs Linkle planted earlier did their job. Body parts fly everywhere. Reds are pulped, and the blues, dead and mangled... but that black one... it's charred but still alive.

Though, it was near the edge of the blast.

That's nothing a bolt of lightning won't fix~

There's another crack of thunder as I now focus my torrent of elemental destruction on the bokoblins themselves, singling out whatever dark colored- a little difficult because the storm clouds make the blue ones look black- bokoblins I can see.

The goblinoids rush forwards along the bridge yet again, only the closest portion has been blown up.

It seems that panic has finally taken them. Their leader dead and gone. Now they are just trying to flee from the wrath of god I am unleashing upon them.

"Blow the rest." I grin savagely.

The sound of three explosions reaches my ears as the next three parts of the bridge explode as well.

I love it when a plan comes together.