Bard of the Wild (Chapter 4) (Patreon)

I cross my arms as I look over Linkle. In her hands she wields two fairly impressive looking hand crossbows.

She points both forwards and tilts her head, a smirk on her lips.

They are quite the strange looking crossbows. Instead of the typical T shaped crossbow, they are more... Y shaped. Or W shaped. The arms are facing forwards instead of to the sides, thus they are pulled inwards and pop out when the arrow is fired. There also appears to be some compound bow nonsense going on.

I assume the arms are forward facing to allow them to slip out of holsters much easier. It would suck if you needed to draw a crossbow as soon as possible and it got hung on one of the arms.

She points both down, seemingly miming placing them on the sides of her legs.

She nods once approvingly and looks over to the quiet girl leading us around. "These are really well made."

She's right.

Most hand crossbows merely deal a D-Four of damage, yet these are doing more than triple it.

Masterwork Compound Sheikah Crossbow
Hardness: 5
Health: 10
Weight: 2 Lbs
Damage: 2d6+2
Crit Range: 19-20 (x2)
Masterwork: Grants the wielder a +1 bonus to hit

"W-Well... we have had one hundred y-years to prepare... m-miss Linkle." Paya stutters. "And, W-Well... we knew hand crossbows were your preferred weapon of choice, so we put a lot of our focus into crafting the best we could possibly manage."

She sits the two crossbows on a nearby box.

We have found ourselves back within the room which we had gone to bed in.

Of course, we changed rooms after we were nearly assassinated in here, but regardless.

We're back.

I watch as Linkle cracks open a large box and looks inside.

A set of three large katana-like blades sit on a row of woven cloth.

Linkle slowly lifts one out of the box and looks over it.

It's just your standard katana, handle long enough to be held in two hands,

"Not bad. Bit large for me..."

Her gaze falls to me. "Hey, Aurum. do you need another sword or something?"

I look over the sword.

Masterwork Sheikah Eightfold Longblade  
Hardness: 11
Health: 20
Weight: 5
Damage: 1d8+2+Str*1.5 (2d8+4+Str*2 when wielded in two hands)
Crit Range: 20 (x3)
Masterwork: Grants the wielder a +1 bonus to hit

"T-This is an ancient longblade. It was made with ancient technology to fold the metal over on itself." Paya informs.

"It’s a really good sword. My own is better though for a one-handed sword at least.

"Damn right." The blade scoffs.

"I could probably put a little more strength into that one, but that's about it." I continue, much to the quiet annoyance of my own sword.

"it's better than a stick or a simple rusty broadsword though." I point out. "How much space does your little slate thing have?"

"Hmmm... I could probably fit like... thirty weapons in here? Less if I want some bows or some sort of shield."

"Then I suggest stocking up. Your weapons could- and have broken. It would be nice to have spares. Hell, replace all the garbage you picked up on the way here with these weapons."

"True." She shrugs. "I'm already taking like... four hand crossbows though, the bolts will take up space, as well."

"There's also the matter of spare clothes... if you want, at least. I have a basic housework magic that will be taking care of my cleanliness and my clothes, I could use it on you as well if you want."

She looks over to Paya. "Do you have any armor around?"

Paya walks over to another crate and opens it. "Here it is."

She pulls out a blue and light blue shirt of some sort with metal plates sewed upon it.

Linkle tilts her head as she sits down the sword she was looking over and walks over.

She rubs the material in between her fingers. "Ooh. Soft."

"Do you have anything that will fit me?" I question.

"Er... n-no." The girl mutters as she scratches the back of her head shamefully. "Most of this armor was entirely made to L-Linkle's P-Proportions."

"Shame."

Linkle looks over to me and points to the door. "I'm going to change. You. Get out."

"Alright. Fine." I shrug as I turn from my spot leaning on the wall and walk to the door. "I'll be leaving the door cracked just in case you get like... an arrow shot at you through that open window or something."

"If you peek, I'll stab you."

"It's not like I haven't been stabbed in the past forty eight hours." I shrug as I walk outside, facing away from the door as I mostly close it.

I cross my arms and boredly stare forwards

After around five minutes Linkle's voice calls out. "Alright, I'm done."

I turn around and walk back into the room.

Standing there is Linkle wearing a skin-tight cloth suit that is dark and light blue in coloration, a large red dripping eye is on the chest of the armor, brown and gold metal plates are attached to the armor, primarily around her shoulders, forearms, hips and shins.

She does a small spin. "What do you think?"

I look over her as I cup my chin. "Hrn."

Around her neck is a white scarf, and a blue cloth mask covers the lower half of her face.

Frankly, she sort of looks like a ninja.

A ninja in clothes that cling to her form. I can see her nipples poking through the shirt and a slight camel toe.

"Looks pretty good. It accentuates your curves nicely." I nod slowly.

"H-HUH?!" The girl blushes.

"But I feel like that doesn't really matter." I continue as I look to Paya. "What's the durability of it?"

Said girl looks incredibly flustered. Well, I mean, she was in the room when Linkle was changing... is... she into women possibly? Or maybe just Linkle in general. Or maybe she is just flustered by nudity in general.

Who knows.

"O-Oh, w-well." She reaches over and pinches the forearm of the suit, pulling it slightly. "This blend of cloth was specifically curated to be more durable than standard clothing. It's by no means stab proof, but it provides far more protection than your earlier clothes."

She taps Linkle's shoulder armor with her knuckles. "The metal itself is made from the same material as our swords so it is quite durable."

"Hrn." I look over it.

Sheikah Stealth Armor:
{Light Armor}
Armor Bonus +3  
Max Dex Bonus +6  
Armor Check Penalty -0  
Arcane Spell Failure Chance 5%  
Movement Speed Reduction: None
Stealth Armor: Grants a +5 bonus to Stealth Checks

It's honestly pretty good. The spell failure chance isn't really important as most six spell leveled casters can wear light armor without any spell failure chance anyways. Bard is one of them.

Paya points down to the shoes. "These boots also were made to lessen the sound of footsteps."

"Not bad." I nod slowly. "Much better than a simple shirt and pants. It should keep you safer now and I can spend less time healing you."

There are two leather holsters attached to a set of two belts, the top belt at a slight slant.

"Anything else in here we might need?" I ask.

Paya walks over to another crate and opens it. "T-These are ancient Sheikah heirlooms that we have retrieved and stored for your use, Linkle."

I step over slowly and look in the box, first off, there's a small orange little doo-dad, some sort of Guardian weapon, clearly as it looks sort of like a hilt, definitely a sword of some sort.

Guardian Sword+: (Shortsword)
Hardness: 10
Health: 40
Weight: .5 Lbs
Damage: 3d8+10+1/2 Str (+4d6+4)
Crit Range: 19-20 (x2)
Guardian Blade: Deals an additional 4d6+4 damage against Guardians or other purely mechanical enemies.

"Oh damn. This sword is strong!" I mutter, eyes growing wide.

I look over to Linkle. "You need to take this."

"Oh yeah! These things deal extra damage to guardians, so if we ever find one we might need it." The girl nods.

There are other items in the box, a set of three ancient arrows, and a white mask with a large red eye on it, the iris is a blazing yellow with a red pupil. There's an almost creepy smile on the bottom of the mask

I blink at the mask. 'wait a minute. Is that the-'

Mask of Truth:
Grants the wearer a +10 bonus to their Will Saves to resist illusions, additionally, the wearer is constantly treated as if they have had the spell 'See Invisibility' cast upon them.

If this exists...

Do other zelda masks exist here?

Giant's Mask? Majora's? Fierce Deity's?

That is a question for another day, I suppose.

I'm not getting a quest for it so-

A Terrible Fate:
Legendary masks reside within Hyrule... and you want them! It's up to you to find all of these powerful masks before they can fall into the hands of evil!

Objective:
Find all 32 Masks: (1/32) [ ]

Whats Kakarioko's deal with giving me quests? This is the like... seventh one I've gotten since I got here.

"Hn. Take this mask as well. It lets you see invisible things and see through illusions. It'll be extremely useful as that assassin that broke in here was invisible when he did so."

Linkle slowly picks up the mask and looks over it. "I... don't see how I could see out of this? It has no eye holes..."

She puts it on and looks around. "Strange. I can see."

The rest of the items in this room are sort of  'meh'. There are shields, which grant one more defense than the standard pathfinder shield, rope, empty flasks, backpacks, wax-covered sheets that act as a form of water proofing.

It's all pretty useful stuff that we'll probably need.

I look over to Linkle, as the morals I had been battling with for most of this time finally forces me to say something so that Linkle isn't known as some sort of deviant or slut hero.

"Also, minor suggestion. Maybe you shout put on something on underneath those clothes... unless of course you want to show an outline of all your important bits to everyone we come across."

She looks down, eyes quickly skimming her body, after a moment, she lets out a quiet squeak of destress, placing one arm across her chest and one hand between her legs.

She glares at me. "P-Pervert!"

"To be fair, your earlier shirt didn't hide much more." I shrug.

"Y-YOU WERE LOOKING?!" She shrieks

"Of course. I'm a guy." I shrug nonchalantly. "I've saved your life like twice in the past two days and have already been used as a meat shield once. This is my compensation."

Half of her face is covered by a mask, but I can tell that her entire head is cherry red, I can see her pointed ears twitching slightly.

"Anyways." I yawn. "I think I'll be going back to bed. Waking up to an assassin breaking in is pretty rough. Can someone wake me up when food is ready?"

"I had hoped that your lustful desires would have disappeared when you lost your memories..." The sword on my back sighs.

"I'm a bard, Vivi. Tis what I do." I hum as I turn and walk out of the room.

**Linebreak**

I look down over the tight, form fitting, suit of armor that clings to my body, outlining my muscles and seeming to draw attention to them.

A six pack is on full display as my biceps seem to ripple underneath the sleeves.

"Huh." I mutter from behind a piece of cloth that covers my nose and mouth.

Linkle stands a short distance away, wearing a nearly identical armor set, now no longer having two little points on her chest and a crease between her legs.

"Not bad. Very comfy." I note as I look to Paya who hands a large sack of gems to a woman behind the counter.

"Thank you, Claree. W-Wonderful work as usual." Paya stutters

The white haired woman she is speaking to doesn't respond, being too busy drooling over my figure.

With such a high charisma stat and a strength stat almost its equal, I bet I look like some form of Greek god to them.

I did a little calculating back when I played pathfinder, and the average person has about ten in a stat. The thing is, every five points in a stat seems to double 'double' it. For instance, a fifteen strength allows your carry weight to be double that of a person with ten.

Thus, I'm roughly three times stronger than the average man, and four times as charismatic.

The woman who sold me this armor suddenly snaps out of her daze. "Huh? Oh? Oh yeah. No problem."

She takes the rupies and has to drag her gaze away from me, Paya is also stealing a few glances over at me every now and then. As for the resident hero of Hyrule...

"Oi. Linkle." I deadpan.

"Hn?" She hums.

"Eyes are up here." I smirk, lazily pointing upwards with a hand.

Her ears tilt down slightly as I can see a slight redness creep from parts of her exposed face out to their tips.

How am I only now noticing the slight movements of Hylian and Sheikah ears? It's fucking adorable.

"W-WELL." The girl mutters. "This is my compensation for... dealing... with... all of your bullshit!"

"Oh? So you're into me?"

"N-Wh- No! That's Ridiculous!"

"Nice." I smirk with a slight eye roll, hearing deception in her voice. "Anyways, thanks for covering for my armor, Paya."

"W-Well... you should thank my G-Grandmother." The red-faced girl stutters. "Besides... you are t-traveling with Linkle... your protection is h-her protection."

"I doubt we'd use protection." I cut in.

"What?" Linkle mutters, more than likely not understanding the joke as condoms don't exist in a medieval fantasy setting.

"What?" I echo.

"…"

As a group we slowly leave the shop, Linkle adjusting the green hooded half-cloak that she seems to adore.

"So, we've got weapons, better armor, and we've got some useful travel gear. What else can we do here in Kakariko?" I ask over my shoulder.

"Not much, really." The sheikah girl states with a small head shake. "But... it's probably too late for you to leave today."

"That's true." I nod once.

We make our way back to the front of Impa's house, the two guards outside briefly acknowledging us.

One looking bored and the other biting his thumb worriedly.

I can see a flash of guilt in the bored looking one's eyes as he looks over to Linkle and myself.

Ah. It's that fucker who was really rude to me when we got here.

"Cado?" Paya questions looking to the visibly worried man. "What is wrong?"

He looks up suddenly, eyes widening. "Oh! My apologies lady Paya I didn't see you walk up."

"What's wrong?" She repeats.

"Its- nothing important to the safety of the village, my lady. It's just... my Cuccos got out of their pen this morning and, well, I love those birds. I'm worried out of my mind for them."

"You truly love those birds." The white haired girl observes.

"Of course! I divorced my wife for them!" He declares proudly, causing both me and Linkle to make quiet choking sounds as we neither expected him to say that.

"Well... with you like this, you aren't doing a very good job of guarding." I mutter, causing the old man to let out a slightly depressed sounding sigh.

"What if we find them?" Linkle suggests.

"Hn?" I hum, causing her to look over to me and explain.

"Well, we've got nothing to do, right?"

She is technically correct.

"Alright. Sounds good." I nod once as I look to the man. "So. How many do you have?"

A quest has been rec-

**Linebreak**

Linkle's hands wrap around the struggling cock and winces slightly, her body burns, not used to the strain of the rigorous and repetitive actions, her breaths come out as tired pants, either a result of having both her nose and mouth covered by cloth, or sheer effort it took to wrangle all those rock hard, muscly cocks.

It seems to be her first time, judging by her awkwardness, but-

Yeah, I... am having a pretty hard time thinking of any more innuendos.

"COO!" The chicken shrieks as it tries desperately to claw at the girl's face and arms. Luckily the armor we got is quite protective against chicken beak and spurs.

A second Cucco runs circles around Linkle's legs, letting out violent shrieks.

"FUCKING HELP ME AURUM! STOP STANDING THERE!" She growls.

Blood drips down her forehead where one of them got a lucky hit on her unprotected face.

"Fine, Fine." I sigh as I slowly walk over.

The Cucco on the ground snaps its gaze over, letting out a slow menacing 'bok'.

It lets out a shrill cry as it rushes forwards, promising malicious intentions.

I hold out a hand and let out a hiss. "SST!"

The Chicken is rooted in place staring up at me.

I point down, causing the chicken to sit on the ground.

Linkle stares as if she is having some form of war flashback.

"You..." She eventually whispers.

"YOU COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE ENTIRE TIME?!" She screams, the chicken in her arms crowing angrily and biting her finger. "AGH! FUCKER!"

"SST!" I hiss again, causing the chicken-like creature in her grasp to freeze up.

Handle animal is a pretty good skill if I do say so myself.

I whistle slightly, causing the chicken on the floor to stand up, then turn and walk away. The rooster following after me.

Linkle quickly catches up to me, glaring pointedly at the side of my head. "You are such a bastard."

"How?!" She growls. "Why are they following your orders?!"

"Hm?" I lowly hum.

I smirk proudly, cupping my chin as I look over to her. "Perhaps I am too handsome. The animals sense this and instinctively follow what I say."

"Mhm? Sure." The girl scoffs. "Heal me."

"Fine fine." I roll my eyes as I reach over and grab her face, quickly channeling a healing spell into her wound.

"I don't like you very much right now." The girl deadpans as I clean the blood off her face.

"Why not?" I ask with a shit-eating grin.

"We've still got EIGHT more Cuccos to catch! You made me waste forty minutes of my life chasing a cucoo in circles! Where did you even fuck off to?!" Comes her angry pout

"Oh. I caught the rest of the Cuccos." I shrug.

"…"

"You what?"

"Oh yeah, it took around thirty minutes. The rest of that time wat me laughing at you as you as you struggled to defend yourself against two birds." I state, letting out a low chuckle.

"I'm very much not pleased." The girl growls.

"Good." I snort.

We eventually make our way across the village, back to the house with the chicken- sorry, Cucco coop, and see the man who owns them looking a little teared up as he watches us approach. "You... You brought them all back."

Linkle holds out the Cucco in her hand, allowing the man to take it as the one behind me slowly wanders forwards.

"You have no idea how much this means to me!" The man whispers.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a purple gem. "Here. I don't have much, but you deserve this for your help!"

That's fifty rupees. Pretty decent.

A quest has been completed!

Cucco Craze!
Oh no! Cado's Cuccos have gotten out of their pen! This really isn't something Heroes destined to save Hyrule should be really doing with their time, but you've got nothing better to do. Start Wrangling those cocks, hero!

Objective:
Find and retrieve all 10 of Cado's Cuccos: (10/10) [x]

Bonus Objective:  
Find them all in 30 minutes: (00:00) [-]
Find them all in an hour: (08:32) [x]
Find them all without any assistance from Linkle: [-]

Reward:
200 Exp

Bonus Reward:
400 Exp

Linkle offers him a small nod, trying not to say anything about her sheer hatred of the birds, then turns and leaves without another word.

I offer a small wave and follow after her, falling into walking pace right beside her. "Now what?"

"I don't know, we've still got like... six hours until dark." The girl sighs.

We pass by an old man painting Impa's house on a large canvass.

"Oh?" The elderly man beings. "I haven't seen either of you two before."

He cups his chin.

This old guy... has a look, let's just say that.

Paint covering his hands, a one-armed shirt that leaves his left shoulder and arm exposed, revealing a blue and red tattoo that swirls across his bicep, his hair is tied up into a long ponytail that points upwards, the tip colored black like some sort of paintbrush.

He cups his chin as he looks over me. "Waiiit are you Ardim? Yigo's boy?"

"No." State with a flat half-lidded stare.

"Ahh... it's been so long since I've lived here... all the new faces are a little jarring... are you-"

"I'm a newcomer to this village." I shut him down immediately.

"Oh... I see." He mutters. "That must be why you don't look familiar."

"What brings you to Kakariko?" Linkle questions.

"Oh, well, I am a traveler much like yourselves. I left this village a long time ago, striking out to observe the many beautiful locations of Hyrule." He sighs wistfully, eventually nodding. "And let me just say, it was well worth it!"

"Waterfalls, mountains, oasis, and glowing caverns. This land holds a lot of true untapped beauty."

"Bit of a shame that Guardians and monsters litter so much of it." He notes with a sad sigh.

"Anyways, I returned to Kakariko because I heard that a fairy fountain was seen near here. "That is one of the only sights in Hyrule I haven't seen... but I've been gone for so long that everyone sees me as an outsider and nobody wants to tell me."

"A fairy fountain?!" Linkle gasps.

"I feel like I'm missing some context here." I frown to the blonde girl next to me

"There are four fairy fountains around Hyrule. They look like these massive building sized flowers. It's typically a hub for the magical in Hyrule, they constantly change position due to the whims of those who reside in them and they constantly attract hordes upon hordes of fairies. The people inside are known as 'Great Fairies'. Each and every one of them has a special power to enhance clothing far beyond what should be possible. Investing the durability of steel into mere wool! Their work is incredible!"

"So, what you're saying is... we should go seek them out." I mutter slowly.

"Of course!" The girl exclaims. "That would be, like, the best thing we COULD do right now!"

She offers a small wave to the old man and quickly rushes towards the house. "Come on, Aurum! Let's go ask Impa!"

"Thank you to the advice." I say to the old man as I turn and follow after Linkle.

A quest has been received!

I minimize the quest without missing another step.

What's that, nine? Ten? Jeez. This village is like a hub for both main quests, side quests, and optional quests that let you fight secret bosses.

"Impa! Impa! Why didn't you tell us that a great fairy fountain was here?" I can hear the question of the excited blonde as I make my way up the stairs.

"Hm. Well, because I've long since heard that the great fairies sealed themselves off and refused to speak to anyone. I didn't want to get your hopes up." The elderly woman sighs. "Besides, with the Yiga clan so set on killing you, I didn't want you risking your life, traveling out of the safety of the village for something that could have possibly just been a rumor."

"Didn’t we get almost murdered literally on our first night here?" I idly question.

"Yes." The woman nods. "The Yiga clan hoped to capitalize on your exhaustion, but after seeing that you were fully capable of defending yourselves-"

Fucking debatable, but alright.

"-they grew more cautious. It is in no small part thanks to our guardsmen who are now looking over things with much more scrutiny."

The woman stares into Linke's eyes for a moment then shoots her a gaze like she is a disappointed grandmother. "Linkle... no."

Linkle frowns, eyes narrowing slightly as she pouts.

"Do not." The woman chastises.

"I'm gonna." The hero of Hyrule pouts.

"Linkle. It is too dangerous." Impa tries yet again.

"Which is why we are going. If the Great Fairy can improve our armor, it'll make all of our future outings far less dangerous!" The blonde replies.

"Linkle-" the old woman sharply inhales, then exhales. "No."

"We're going." Linkle smirks.

"You stubborn little- No. And this is final, Linkle." Impa glowers.

"Uh, Miss Impa... if I could interject here." I begin slowly, causing said elder's gaze to fall upon me. "If Linkle is as stubborn as you say she is- and she clearly is, seeing as how she spent the last forty minutes tenaciously chasing a sole Cucco."

I get a slight glare for my comment as I cast the girl another grin, looking back to the Sheikah elder a moment later. "Perhaps it would be in everyone's best interest if you just... told us where the fairy fountain is? I mean. It's pretty clear that we are going to be going out to look for it regardless of what you say, judging by the glint in Linkle's eye, at least- so instead of us spending hours wandering around out in the open, potentially in the wrong direction, meaning we will be gone out of the safety of the village for longer, we could simply walk to it, then come back?"

The older woman stares for a long moment, then lets out a quiet self-loathing sigh. "Fine. You will want to leave through the village's northern exit. Up the winding path that leads up the mountain face. It will take you around an hour to get there, but if you follow the path you will come to a forest towards the north east of the village, hidden in the mountains. In the northern part of that forest you will find the fountain."

"Thanks Impa! You're the best!" Linkle cheers.

"Do not make me regret this." The elderly woman states, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Linkle practically bounces in place as she looks over to me with a grin. "Come on! Let's go!"

She turns and jogs out of the room leaving just Impa and myself for a moment.

"Was she always like this?" I question quietly.

"She used to be worse." Impa wryly smiles.

"Oh my god." I whisper. "How?!"

"She ate rock roast and rode bears." The woman boredly sniffs.

"…"

"And rock roast is exactly what it sounds like. Rocks in the shape of meat. It is commonly known that only Gorons can eat it. That common knowledge was quickly altered to include 'and Linkle'. To it." She clarifies.

"…"

"I pray for your safety and your sanity." The woman smiles. "You are far more level headed than her, perhaps you can rein in a few of her more... violent tendencies."

"…" I stare at her in horrified silence, eventually breaking it with a resigned sigh. "I'd like to have a list of what to look out for when I get back."

The woman lets out a quiet cackle. "Oh! I have no end to the embarrassing stories I could tell!"

I nod once with a small smile, then turn and run out the door, rushing after Linkle.

**Linebreak**

"So. Linkle. Why are you so gung-ho about this?" I ask as I walk to her left.

"We'll need every single advantage we can get in order to defeat Calamity Ganon." she replies.

I wait for her to continue but she never does.

"And?" I question.

"And what?" She shoots back.

"Linkle, I'd like to say that I'm pretty good at reading people. You are far too pumped about this for it to just be some simple armor enhancement." I deadpan.

"W-Well." She stutters, shyly scratching the back of her head. "It holds some sentimental value."

"What sort?" I ask.

"Back one hundred years ago, the four fairies sometimes helped out... purely at their own whims, of course, they constantly moved around Hyrule so it was sort of difficult to track them down, but they'd enhance clothes and armors for rupees and, well, the value of the item in question skyrocketed." She begins.

"Okay?" I nod once, gesturing for her to continue.

"Back then, said enhanced armor was given to the best of the best, most of the king's personal knights had a set, and the kings' clothes, and Zelda's were improved by all four of the great fairies... and These clothes were more resistant than a good portion of metal armors." She wistfully sighs. "The royal guardsmen gained a set that had been enhanced and I was set to receive a set of armor that was just as good as the princess', being the chosen hero of the Master Sword and all. But, getting armor enhanced like that takes time. Time to locate the fairies, time to gather funds, time to gather the materials required to enhance the armors, and time to convince the great fairies to help in the first place."

"I... am not expecting much, to be completely honest." She admits. "It's likely that the fairy won't even speak to us, but I'd still like to try and... maybe accomplish a small nostalgic dream I had back before the calamity and get clothes enhanced by all four fairies."

"That's a pretty good dream, I guess." I shrug idly as we make our way through the trees. There has been no conflict so far which is slightly suspicious.

It seems like that one guy was the only Yiga in Kakariko at the time of the attack, otherwise he would have had help and we would have both died. He got pretty fucked up from our fight. The reason the attacks have more than likely lulled is probably because he is recovering. Biding his time.

That, or he left to go report, being forced to move far slower than he normally would due to his crippling injuries.

That's also possible.

I tilt my head and look around our surroundings.

I hope this little trip of ours isn't wasted. There's so much I'd rather be doing right now... like having dinner. Or like... a nap.

Toddlers have it made I tell you. Nobody calls them a lazy piece of shit when all they do is sleep, eat, and play.