Bard of the Wild (Chapter 2) (Patreon)

We are surrounded on all sides by ninjas in red wearing white masks with the symbol of an eye on it.

"WELL WELL! What do we have here?!" The largest of the bunch asks, a rotund short man with a body type resembling Danny DeVito. "If it isn't the hero of Hyrule, down on her luck?!"

The other men let out a cackle as several bows are pointed as us.

"What a relief it will be... when a meddler such as yourself is out of the picture!" He monologues. "Linkle of Hyrule... TODAY!"

"…"

"RIGHT NOW IN FACT!" He continues as he points both fingers to the sky, bouncing back and forth.

"THE STUPENDOUS CHIEF OF THE YIGA CLAN MASTER KOHGA..." The man cheers as he gazes into the sky. "IS GOING TO KILL YOU... To Death!"

He strikes a martial artist pose.

"You might be wondering how I found you, and you see, it's quite simple. Over the past month, after being imbued with power from the great Calamity Ganon I have developed a special technique to discover you, wretched hero-"

"Uh, excuse me, Mr Kohga... sir?" I begin quietly. "Who's Linkle?"

"…"

The man pauses.

He points towards my traveling companion. "That, my wretched boy, is a Linkle."

"Uh... I'm a traveling bard... my name is Migo... this brown-haired girl is my apprentice- *Snrk* Tinkle. Not Linkle."

"Brown?" The man frowns. "Minion one. Get me a torch."

I can hear Linke swallow as her eyes dart over to me and back to the shadowy figures looming all around us, she shifts slightly, shoving the sheikah slate on her hip up under her body to hide it.

"I... I TOLD YOU TO NEVER CALL ME THAT!" 'Tinkle' Screams. "I-I Ran away from home to get away from that damned name! I-I TOLD YOU! My new bard name is JINGLE!"

The numerous men slowly lower their weaponry seemingly in confusion, one of the men bring out a torch, allowing the leader of the bunch to take it in one hand, a flash of gold lights up briefly on the back of his hand as he flicks his hand towards the torch, a gout of fire shooting from his fingertips and igniting it.

'W-wait what the fuck was that?'

"T-THAT POWER?!"

Huh?

He leans forwards slightly, placing a sole hand over his masked brow as he looks down at the two of us. "Brown... hair?"

"How did he get that?!"

"DAMN IT!" He swears, letting out a growl as he stops his foot repeatedly, puffs of angry steam practically shoot from his ears.

"Accursed powers!" He snarls as he looks to the back of his hand, shaking it. "I thought I FINALLY got you to work!"

"It isn't her." One of the surrounding Yiga observes.

"Of course, it isn't HER, Togan! I'm not blind!" The man growls.

"What do we do now, boss?" One of the others asks.

"Damn. Damn. The crystal ball said she had just woken up! She must still be on the plateau! Let's go!" The man growls.

'Crystal ball? Scrying?! What the hell?!'

"Boss, what about them?" A third asks, gesturing to us.

"Who cares about them." The man scoffs.

"Should we kill them?" A fourth questions.

"No. If we kill all the artists in the world Hyrule would be a very dull place!" Kohga growls. "If we kill all the bards, who else will write our victory song when we finally kill that pain in our side, the hero of hyrule and her pathetic princess!"

"It's like killing the bananas of people!" He declares causing a chorus of 'Ahhhs' and 'oooooh' to echo out from his minions.

"But they seem to be heading in the direction of the Sheikah village." The first begins. "What if they tell them what we're trying."

"Pfft- the Sheikah?! Those guys are pathetic and weak." Kohga begins. "They've lost their hope after our mighty lord, Calamity Ganon appeared so they've stopped training to the standards they've had one hundred years ago. The only one I could see being a challenge, their leader, became a peace loving fool! I doubt she's even trained one time in the past thirty years... unlike me! With this new power of mine I bet I could take on ten of her! At once!"

"You're so cool Kohga!" One of the men cheers.

"Truly the top banana of the Yiga Clan!" A second adds in.

The man preens under the cheers of his allies, seemingly highly arrogant and smug as he places his hands on his hips.

"Besides. Even if they do get there. What will that accomplish? We're killing Linkle today! It'll take several to make it there."

"What if they find a horse?" A man questions.

"As if they could just walk up to a wild horse and tame it! Ridiculous!"

A new quest has been received.

My eyes flick downwards towards the notification.

Traveling in style:
Walking just isn't cutting it, it's clear you'll need something with a little more... horse power...
Objective:
walk up to a wild horse and tame it: [ ]

My eyes flick back up.

"Yes. And even if they make it there, they'd be forced to come all the way back here! They'd be tired and we can strike a blow to the Sheikah clan as well!"

"Your foresight is incredible Master Kohga!" A woman cheers.

"That's our boss!" Another agrees as the man in question crosses his arms proudly.

"Nooooooow." He begins.

"YIGA CLAN! MOVE OUT!" He exclaims.

With several puffs of smoke they disappear.

"…"

"Huh." I blink slowly. "Hey Jingle. That's not something you see every day. That Kohga guy sure had some charisma. I'm sort of new to Hyrule. Who were those Yiga guys."

I bring a finger to my lips and slowly gaze around.

"Oh. I don't know much. I didn't really get far from the stable. I've heard a bit here and there. I think I've heard that they... worship the Calamity like it's some sort of god?"

"Well, I mean, that guy literally just said, and I quote- 'our mighty lord, Calamity Ganon' so I'm inclined to believe those rumors."

"Aurum. That man wields a dangerous power."

"What do you think it's like, being cool ninjas like that?" I grin as I look over to Linkle, a goofy grin on my face. "Nin! Nin!"

I point out the door then to her and myself.

She nods once. "I dunno. But... that sort of ruined my sleep... plus they were pretty loud and probably attracted some monsters. We should probably get a move on."

A Sudden quest has been completed!

I stand up, watching as Linkle does the same, I can see her carefully hiding her sheikah slate in her sleeve as we both turn and leave out the stone arch that acts more or less as a door for the dilapidated ruin we found ourselves in.

"Also, you should probably keep in mind, Jingle. I haven't slept a wink... I am both incredibly tired and haven't recovered yet." I point out. "You owe me soooo much for getting you out of your family's business."

"I-I guess I do."

She squints her eyes slightly as she takes a careful step forwards.

"How good can you see in the dark?" I suddenly ask.

"Uh... not well? With the moon out, it's sort of fine, but not the best?"

"Oh. Well, I can see perfectly." I casually shrug as I grab her hand and begin pulling her along behind me.

She doesn't protest as I lead her forwards eyes briefly scanning the quest I had apparently been given.

Sudden Quest:

Yiga Assassination Attempt:
You have been ambushed in the middle of the night by the great Master Kohga and his minions! This is the equivalent of a DM throwing a Behir at a party of level 2 barbarians. Good luck.
Objective:
Survive: [x]

Bonus Objectives:
Kill them all: 0/12 [-]
Betray Linkle: [-]
Bluff your way out of it: [x]

Rewards: 2500 Exp
Bonus Rewards: 5000 Exp, Glibness is added to your list of 'Known Spells' for free (Being able to cast it is another matter entirely).

Oh hey! That's enough to reach level three! Wonderful!

I unlock the key feature of thundercaller this level.

Hell yeah!

I glance briefly over my shoulder. "So. Vivi could you elaborate on what you said?"

"That power is dangerous. Be careful."

"Yes. You've said that, but what is it?" I mutter under my breath as I return to looking forwards, I can see Linkle carefully looking over me, glancing to the sheathed blade on my back.

"It's your own."

That statement causes a brief shiver to enter my body.

I was right in assuming that it was a scrying spell... oh fuck. How?!

Why does he have that?!

What the fuck?!

**Linebreak**

"Alright. I think we're far enough away now." I sigh, shoulders slumping as we both lean up against a tree, taking a brief break after Linkle nearly twisted her ankle on a round rock in the road I didn't see.

The arrow was on her, that one was my bad.

I look over to her. "First, let me just say that I'm genuinely surprised you caught on and yes-and-ed in the right direction. Pretty sly."

"What do you mean by that? Do you not think I'm smart or something?!" The girl pouts.

"To be fair, I don't really know what to think of you. We've only been traveling together for a little over half a day now, after all." I shrug. "Sure, I know basic things, mainly physical. You're deceptively strong, fast, apparently have some form of untapped chronomancy, and are physically attractive, but that's about it, really."

She flinches back slightly, a blush on her face.

"I'm more worried about them finding us so quickly." I frown, eyes narrowing. "I think I know how they did it?"

"How?!"

"Scrying magic. They locked onto you with a crystal ball and learned that you were moving about. They then started moving towards where they thought you'd be." I cup my chin with a worried frown. "it's only a matter of time until they check again and see you with me. If they haven't already."

"Is there any way to stop it?!" The girl frowns. "This sound like a total nightmare."

"Well, there's a couple. Most, if not all, are currently beyond me. I might be able to obscure an object, but a person?"

"T-Try that! Please!" The girl pleads.

I turn and look at her, a half-lidded gaze on my face.

I have a limited number of first level spells known, but fuck it, there's not much else I'd want to know at the moment. I've already picked up the ability to turn water to wine.

"Fuck it. Let's give it a go. Let me just focus for a moment and think about objectifying you."

I place a hand atop her head and close my eyes.

"…"

*Ping*

I crack open as I can feel... the spell take hold.

Huh?

I look over her with some detection magic.

"Holy shit it actually worked... huh... that should keep the scrying at bay... for at least a while."

I look forwards.

Achievement unlocked:

Sexism:
Yeaaaah. I don't even know what to say about this one. Shame on you... Based.
Reward: -500 Exp but you're allowed to cast <Obscure Objects> on people of the opposite gender.

I look over her. "I genuinely have zero idea how I accomplished that."

I gently rub my eyes as I let out a long groan.

"I... have a few questions." Linkle begins.

"And I might have a couple of answers." I reply back with a tired yawn.

"How did you trick them into thinking my hair was brown?" The girl quietly mutters.

"Oh, I cast a spell on you in reflex. It's one of the ones that I can do practically at will. It can do a bunch of parlor tricks. Lightly flavor drinks and food, warm or cool things, dirty or clean objects, even change the color of things temporarily."

I slump over slightly as I close my eyes. "My god. I'm so fucking tired."

I look over to the girl. "We need a horse."

"It would really speed things up... we might have made it to Kakariko in one day instead of the three and a half I predicted." The blonde agrees with a slow nod.

"If you see a horse... keep in mind that I could use its shadow to trap it for about eighteen seconds... if you can run over and get on its back in that time, that'd be useful."

The girl perks up, as she points ahead. "Look!"

I follow her finger as about seven hundred feet away, down the hill, I can see a herd of wild horses.

"Oh... that's pretty lucky."

**Linebreak**

Pain floods my body as my eyes snap open.

It takes me a moment to realize where I am.

My entire body sways as the horse beneath me gallops, my arms are around the waste of the blonde hero in front of me to prevent me from falling off if I fell asleep, large stone cliffs surround us as we run alongside a river.

"Ow- what the fuck-"

"You were shot by an arrow."

"I WAS SHOT?!" I snarl as I gaze around hatefully, eventually locking onto the wooden arrow sticking out of my left shoulder. "I close my eyes for one fucking second and I get an arrow to the back?!"

"SHIT! You were hit?!" The girl in front of me curses. "My bad! But there wasn't anything I could really do about thaaa- woah!"

She ducks an arrow that narrowly passes over my shoulder.

"Alright. Who has the balls." I lowly growl as I turn around, tugging the arrow from my shoulder and healing the injury with a simple casting of 'Cure Light Wounds'.

I can see a large bipedal lizard running after us with a bow in hand. It is... shockingly fast. Being able to keep up with the horse's gallop while running with a slight hunch.

I slightly tighten my grip on linkle as I hold my other arm out behind me, thumb touching middle finger.

*Snap*

The ground around the lizard blows outwards as a moment later-

*BOOM*

Like a thunderclap without a lightning bolt, sound waves bounce off the mountains flanking us, reverberating the sound.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Linkle Shrieks.

"That was me. My bad." I casually admit as a grin crosses my face.

I watch the lizard clutch its head as it shakes its body off.

"OH?! NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT, YOU REPTILIAN PIECE OF SHIT! I'LL FIND THAT COLD BLOODED WHORE YOU CALL A MOTHER AND STRANGLE HER WITH YOUR FUCKING INTESTINES YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

*Snap*

*BOOM*

*Snap*

*BOOM*

*Sna-BOOM*

I take a deep breath then slowly exhale as I turn back around, purple blood had begun to flow from the reptiles eyes, nose, mouth and ear holes, thus I'd say that's a pretty good stopping point.

"Sorry about that. I lost my cool. I'm fine now. That was just the first time that I felt pain since I lost my memories." I apologize to the girl in front of me. "Let me just say... not a fan."

"Nobody is." The girl shrugs as the horse continues to gallop forwards.

A beat of silence passes between us.

"Soooo. Care to explain?" She eventually asks.

"Oh. That was my bardic ability. It uses the same sort of energy as my inspiration. A single explosion like that roughly equates six seconds of play time so I can do it quite often... in the future I should also be able to call lightning as well which is nifty."

"Anyways, how long have we been traveling?" I press on, tiredly looking around.

"About an hour." She replies with a stifled yawn.

"Ah. I see..." I mutter as I let out a quiet yawn. "Say, Linkle... do you have any shields?"

"Uh... a few in my Sheikah Slate."

"Cool. Next time we are forced to ride a horse like this and I am forced to ride behind you... give me one. If I'm going to basically be a meat shield for you, I want a shield for myself."

"Right right. My bad." The girl nods. "Next time, there will be no worries."

"Good. Good." I sigh. "How long do you think it will take us to get to this village?"

"About... maybe four hours?" She replies quietly.

"Alright... I'll try and stay up, but the second we get there, I'll be finding some sort of inn to just pass out in- ah. Wait. I don't have any money. Shit. A random ditch, then."

"Impa should have some space at her home. I doubt she'd mind us using a room or two... and I'm with you. The second after we talk to Impa I'm going to bed."

**Linebreak**

The mid-day sun bears down on us as we travel through a small valley, large rock walls are on our left and right as the path beneath curves and twists.

It has been quite the adventure, we traveled through the rest of the twin-peaks, crossed the river via bridge, then rode past a stable which Linkle seemed surprised about, it's sort of obvious it wasn't there one hundred years ago, I doubt much that was survived the endless wave of guardians.

After that, we rode up a slight incline, following the road towards another mountain path hidden between the rocks.

This entire time, one thought has been bouncing around my mind...

My pelvis hurts.

Fuck horseback riding.

I am full of so much tired loathing right now, I might just be able to kill Calamity Ganon with the power of sheer hatred.

Our noble steed that we totally just kidnapped from its family continues forwards, allowing us to pass under a wooden gate styled similarly to Japanese architecture.

"We're almost there-" Linkle gasps out, with a slight wince. It's clear that she's enjoying this about as much as I am.

We pass under another gate, a short moment later, a third falls in our wake, we come to a fourth and suddenly... We have arrived...

Before us is a fairly substantial village lit up by campfires and torches, hidden away in a valley of some sort, the village is surrounded by mountainous cliffs on practically all sides, a small river seems to split the village in half, sloshing water wheels and the crashing of two distant waterfalls filling our ears, it's... peaceful.

A Quest has been completed.

I minimize the quest as I genuinely don't have the mental fortitude right now to think on things that might affect my very being... or like, even the mental fortitude to read.

"We're finally here." She breathes as she hops off the horse, instantly regretting that decision as she lets out a small cry and falls to a seated position.

I try to follow, but I end up flopping and faceplanting into the dirt.

"…"

I don't move for a few seconds.

"Uh... Aurum? Are you alright." Linkle eventually asks from her seated position, watching as our horse trots away, seemingly pleased that the two furless apes which had leapt on its back and forced it to run for six hours are now in horrid agony.

The sound of beating hooves is all I hear as it seems to rush back the way we just came.

"Horse riding sucks. Why can't you people just learn teleportation?" I growl into the dirt as I force myself to sit up.

The blonde lets out a quiet groan of agreement. "Teleportation would be soooo much easier. I think the Sheikah slate can let us teleport, but I don't know how."

She looks over to me. "Not used to riding horses?"

"You're not either." I shoot back. "And unlike me, you didn't lose your memories. That was my first time riding a horse."

"Since you lost your memories." The sword supplies.

"Since I lost my memories." I agree with a small nod, not that Linkle could hear what the sword said at the moment anyways.

"Fair... I might be a couple... dozen... years out of practice." The girl concedes.

After around five minutes we return to our feet, not even a cure light wounds spell seems to heal the soreness which is annoying.

We both hobble forwards slowly making our way through the village and getting our legs under control.

We follow the twisting and curving path through the village, walking across the little wooden step bridges that cross the rivers, down slopes and past food stalls which cause us to realize that we hadn't really eaten anything all day.

The locals, all who have white hair and red eyes like myself, briefly note us, but two travelers aren't exactly the strangest thing, so I doubt we're that attention grabbing.

After around ten minutes of slow walking, we make it to the largest building in the town, or at least, the staircase leading up to it as it is sat upon a large rock in between the two waterfalls, a small pond surrounding it.

We make our way towards the staircase.

"Halt!" A man at the front calls out just as we make it to the clearing leading up to the building.

He has snow white hair, red eyes, atop his head he wears a large folded rice hat, his long hair tied back into buns with hair sticks stabbed through it to keep it in place, he has short, bushy mutton chops with a tiny tuft of hair on his chin.

He wears primarily light tan colors, but has a few darker shades on as well, like the red trim of his coat, or the blackish blue undershirt.

Well, looking at him closely, it's clear... I'm a Sheikah.

"Who are you to impose on Lady Impa's abode- wait... the Shieka Slate... you are... the hero?!" The man gasps.

His gaze quickly strays from the girl to me then back to the girl.

"I apologize for my rudeness. You may head on up."

Linkle nods once and begins to head up the stairs, I follow but am stopped before I can take a step up the stairs.

"Not you." The man frowns.

I give him a half-lidded stare.

"Dude. I'm going to be completely honest with you. I have spent the last thirty hours or so keeping her alive. Making our way through Yiga ambushes, getting shot by lizalfos, and healing her wounds when she takes an arrow to the leg... and through all of that I have slept a grand total of one hour. I am so tired and done with today's shit that I would genuinely ask you to reconsider inconveniencing me when my eyes are so bloodshot that I can actually make out two of you as my patience to deal with bullshit is so low right now that I might just enter a shouting match with you right here and now, but that would require energy and I really don't feel like doing that."

Linkle one-eighties on the stairs and walks back down, grabbing my wrist and giving the man an overly sweet smile. "He's with me. And it is vitally important that he also meets Impa."

"Then I would request that he leave his weapon here." The man frowns.

I let out a long sigh, glancing over my shoulder to the hilt of the blade. "You cool with being held by Linkle for a few minutes?"

"I don't mind."

"Alright. Cool. Cool." I mutter, taking my sword off my back, sheathe and all.

I give it to Linkle who takes it in one hand, an annoyed frown on her face. "May we go inside now?"

"I'll have my eye on you." The man frowns.

"Neat. Good luck with that." I lazily grunt as Linkle leads me up the stairs.

We make our way up the stairs to the larger house, Linkle quietly bemoaning the guy we left behind. "Ugh. It's so annoying! You come here with ME. The girl who's going to kill the calamity and they question you. YOU! A guy who has a SECOND sword that seals the darkness! It's utterly ridiculous!"

"To be fair, not many people know what that sword feels like." I mutter, stifling another yawn.

"It's still totally annoying." The girl pouts as we reach the top of the stairs.

A girl who is scrubbing the floor looks up, eyes growing wide, as she looks in between the two of us, she has red eyes, like most Sheikah do, and wears an outfit similar to the old man's down at the bottom of the staircase, she has long white hair with a portion tied up into a bun behind her head.

There is a red marking on her forehead which looks like a dripping eye.

"Oh! Hey Impa!" Linkle grins. "Anyways, I'm finally awake. It took a while, huh? So. What have I missed?"

"Linkle." I deadpan, even in my hazy one hour of sleep state seeing the sheer dumbassery she is projecting.

"Hn?" The girl hums, looking over her shoulder.

"I don't think that's Impa." I continue in the flat tone I originally spoke up in.

"Nah. It totally is. How would you know? You lost your memories... beside I don't think you ever MET Impa!"

"…"

"How old are you?" I reply to the blonde.

"You shouldn't ask a woman her age." She shoots back instantly.

"My point is, you were sealed in like... a box for one hundred years, right?" I ask.

"Yes?" The girl questions, not seeing where I am going with this. "What's your point."

"Do. The Sheikah have biological immortality?" I continue.

"uh... no?" She mutters.

"Then why are you assuming this girl who doesn't look a day over eighteen is your apparent friend from one hundred years ago?" I ask, gesturing to the girl who after recovering from the sheer shock of meeting the hero of Hyrule is now having her opinion of said hero slowly lowering more and more.

The blonde to my right takes a breath as if she is about to respond, then pauses, her eyes scouring the white haired girl's face and body.

"Ah. Crud." She mutters absentmindedly. "Uhhh. Do you know where your mother-"

"One hundred years." I reiterate.

"Grandmother is?" Linkle finishes.

"Grandmother is reasonable. Honestly Great Grandmother might even be a possibility."

"U-u-Uh. It's just Grandmother. N-not great. T-that's not to say that she isn't a great grandmother- b-but- uh, she's- uh- my mother's mother. W-which means while she is a great grandmother, she isn't... uh... G-generationally wise... my g-great grandmother." Her voice slowly dies out, seemingly realizing just how much she is putting her foot in her own mouth.

"S-she's inside. S-she has been waiting for your return ever since I was little..." The girl in front of us stutters as she covers her face. "M-M-My name is... P-P-Paya. B-by the way."

"Thank you, Paya!" Linkle waves.

From the way that conversation went and with how tired I am... I'd say there was about ten points of IQ between the three of us... and I own six of them.

The double doors open with a quiet creak, a large room on the other side greeting us.

Kneeling on a stack of red pillows is a tiny old woman, she has wrinkly skin, her eyes obscured by a large hat, her mildly scratchy voice echoes out through the room as she slowly looks up. "So... you are finally awake..."

A smile graces her time-worn lips. On her forehead is a mark similar to the girl's outside, a dripping eye, the inverse of the Yiga Clan's symbol.

"It has been quite a long time, Linkle..." The woman announces. "Though for some of us... far longer... I'm much older now, but... you remember me, don't you?"

"Impa." The girl next to me breathes quietly, a smile slowly forming on her face.

"Yes." The woman simply nods once, a grin appearing on her old lips. "It is good to see that Purah was wrong about the shrine of resurrection claiming your memories. There is much to do, Linkle."

The girl slowly walks forwards as I follow along.

The old woman's gaze strays from me back to the girl. "Now, who is this? And- the master sword?! No... it's... different. Strange."

Linkle gestures to me. "This is Aurum, and this is his sword, a second sword that seals the darkness."

"A second sword that seals the darkness?!" The woman gasps. "Then you... must be a hero of equal measure to Linkle here to be chosen to wield such a blade."

"I could have been... but I lost my memories." I shrug as I slowly look around the room.

"You lost your memories?" The woman mutters, eyes growing wide.

She lets out a quiet sigh. "I see. A great shame."

A moment of silence passes between us.

"You two look..." I can feel the old woman's eyes stray my face, then Linkle's, lingering on the dark circles that are very apparent on both of us. "Unwell."

"Do you have some place to sleep?" I ask with a yawn. "The last thirty or so hours has been... not good."

Linkle rubs her eyes with a slow nod. "Yeah. We would have been here later, but the Yiga clan apparently had a method to track me the moment I got out of the shrine of resurrection and we were ambushed in the middle of the night when we tried to rest."

"WHAT?!" The old woman shrieks.

"We seem to have solved that issue, though." The girl mutters.

"Speaking of which... that thing you did to temporarily stop it... how long does it last?" The girl asks.

"Hn? Oh. About eight hours." I reply with a tired yawn.

"Then... shouldn't you be renewing it right about now?" She asks.

"Hn?" I hum.

"Oh! Right. Right." I nod slowly as I reach over and place a hand on her shoulder.

My hand glows a dull grey briefly as Linkle gains a slight aura that fades a moment later.

Linkle turns back to Impa. "Soooo. Instead of walking here like I planned, visiting the ancient shrines and Sheikah towers, we found a horse and rode all the way here. Without Aurum here... I would have probably died."

"We... have a few places to sleep, yes." The older woman nods. "it's not the most luxurious bedding... but I take it you two won't really mind."

We both shake our heads, causing the old woman to let out a small laugh. "Very well, we will continue this conversation after you two are well rested and most important, completely lucid. Tell me, have you two eaten anything?"