Dungeons and Devils (Chapter 67) (Patreon)

The tension in the room is almost suffocating.

Azazel nervously swallows saliva as I summon a soda I got from a fast food place and begin silently slurping on it.

"You're a god?!" Michael accuses.

"As of roughly ten hours ago, yes. But merely a 'demi' one." I nod once with a bright smile. "No. Stop thinking I am similar to 'Him'. I will never be 'Him', hell, I'm only assuming by 'him' you're meaning either God or Lucifer, and I don't want to be like either of those two. Sounds like the mother of all headaches. I am just a devil who just became more. Nothing else. Don't make this more weird than it already is, Michael."

"Y-You're a god?!" He repeats.

"Put a 'Demi' in front of that word, then yes." I nod once.

"You're truly a-"

"Did the divine aura not give it away?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Now hold on a second." Azazel abruptly snaps as he stands. "What do you MEAN by 'Made unique sacred gears?!"

"Well, when someone says that, Azazel, it typically means that they have made completely new sacred gears with new powers, new balance breakers, and new nonsense. Also noticing you skipping over the first bit."

"How the hell did you make new sacred gears?!"

"Eh, I figured it out." I shrug. "Malthus smithing certainly helped along the way, as did learning how to bind sacred gears to bodies."

"Anyways, I do believe we have covered the reason for this meeting... I really believe I should be going now. Dealing with earth's other factions are more Serafall's schtick, and before I am officially recognized as fifth Satan there is a lot I need to complete... preferably before my rating game with Diehauser, which is going to take a lot of my time in the next seven days."

My eyes slowly stray across the group before me. "May I go? I really should get back to work."

"I follow this train of thought as well." Ajuka announces. "As the Technological Satan, I do not believe I should be present for this talk any further. I have a new project that is still within its volatile stages, and I believe that it wouldn't be for the best to leave it unattended for long periods of time. We have found the reason for our meeting; thus it should be concluded, no?"

"I... Believe we have covered our bases today." Gabriel weakly states while looking over to her brother. "We at least know why father's throne is glowing, having a new deity in our pantheon, so I believe that we don't really need four of the five total Satans to remain here."

"Oh, good good." I brightly smile as I stand. "Thank you, Gabriel, Michael."

I lock eyes with Azazel and stare menacingly at him for an awkward amount of time. "You."

"Sirzechs, Serafall, I will be taking my leave. My space rending scissors will not forge themselves and I need to figure out how to process Auric Ore into bars. Toodles~"

With a flash I teleport away.

**Linebreak**

I blink at an enormous vine-like bag before me within I can see possibly hundreds of fairly large hunks of rock with speckles of orange metal peeking through.

To the left of that I see four dryads securely containing four wildly different colored energies with their magics, and just beyond that I see three plants with strange heart shaped fruits growing on them.

"Alright this is all I need." I nod slowly.

Two seeds appear in my grasp as I approach the Dryad queen. "Here is the rainbow fruit tree seed, and the Vanilove tree seed. Be careful about the rainbow fruit tree. It smells so good that animals of all sorts will track it down to try and get a piece of the fruit. In fact, it's supposedly so delicious that they will continue struggling to get a piece even while they are being eaten alive by another creature."

"We will protect it with our lives." Queen Celeste replies with a slow nod as she takes the seed, she practically fawns over the two of them, rubbing the larger of the two up against her face.

I turn to the materials gathered, then raise my hands, the churning orange, teal-ish green, blue, and pink abruptly freeze.

With a twist of my hand the energies slowly flow forwards, much to the surprise of the dryads who appeared to be barely restraining the energies with the four of them.

The energies are trapped within large crystalline prisms, the three plants are placed securely within my dimensional storage alongside the ore.

"Thanks once more, you guys have been a big help!" I smile brightly. "I'll probably be back some time in the future, but I doubt I'll ever bring a seed as dazzling as the rainbow fruit tree's."

"No, no, anything is good. You have helped the Dryad race more than enough, friend." The queen states with a small pleased nod. "If you ever need something please, come to us."

"I may eventually take you up on that offer." I state with a slight smile. "Now, I must go. Thank you for your hospitality, Queen Celeste."

"It was the least we could do for the one who has granted us his glorious, potent, virile seed." The queen states while rubbing her face upon the large multicolored apple sized seed.

"…"

"…"

"…"

'not even touching that.'

"Kay bye~" I grin as I turn and teleport away.

**Linebreak**

"Let's see here. Sword one." I mutter under my breath as I glance over to a simple hand guard. What looks like a black and blue inferno rages as the blade, flecks of white can be seen deep within the blue and black flames that steadily transition to purple, looking like the deepest parts of the night sky where no light pollution can be seen for hundreds of miles.

It is a stunningly beautiful blade.

A stunningly powerful blade.

Even as it is, with my testing, it can rend space completely and utterly, generating miniature blasts of radiant energy to home in on foes.

It's as if it is plucking the stars right from the sky and shooting them at people.

As it is right now, it is already a contender for the strongest magic sword.

Galaxia. The Galaxy blade.

I look over to the second part of my new weapon, a pair of scissors the size of a great sword, the handle looks stone-like with dozens of multicolored crystals poking out of where the two blades meet, the blades themselves are dazzling, with blades that look to be made of tie-dye, the edges are a cyan blue, but further inward it is a sea of orange and red swirls, every part of the scissor is sharp, ranging from the outside to the inside, they can be disconnected to form two saber-like blades, but are more powerful when connected into a single pair of scissors.

This blade is slightly weaker than Galaxia in its base form, but has a unique 'charging' system, where the blade will grow stronger from parrying attacks, eventually eclipsing the Galaxia... until the Galaxy blade changes to a new form, of course.

But.

At the end of the day, neither of these blades matter, as I shall be combining them into a single blade.

The Ark of the Cosmos.

I raise both of my hands, causing both blades to slowly float off of their resting places-

"Whatcha doing?"

I flinch causing both blades to stab into the ceiling.

"…"

I look over my shoulder to see a diminutive fairy casually floating there.

"I'm working on my best sword yet." I reply easily.

"Oh?" She questions as I pull the two blades from the ceiling and place them down on a nearby anvil. The blue haired fairy tilts her head and floats over the two swords, eyes sparkling. "Cool! I've never seen these materials before!"

"Can I help?" The fairy pleads.

"If you want, by all means." I nod slowly.

She swiftly grows to her full size and looks back over to me. "Hey uh... Gaius?"

"Yes, Vivi?" I reply as I reach over to the table and grab five orange-ish ingots of metal.

Each of the ingots seem to spark with divine power.

Auric Tesla. It can only be refined into bars with the soul fragments of a 'Divine' dragon... and I just so happened to kill two of them recently.

"I heard that Neo was pregnant." The fairy states.

"She is." I nod once.

"Can you... do the same to me?" She mutters shyly.

I look over my shoulder with a blank half-lidded stare of disappointment. "No. With Neo it wasn't intentional. Ask me again in three to five years."

"Also. The next person in my harem who I am going to impregnate is going to be Mittelt... purely because I am really petty... also I technically would be lying if I don't follow through with my heat of the moment threat." I state as I place the bar back on the table. "You can be right after, though."

"Oh... I see..." The girl mutters with a slight frown only to perk up a moment later. "That's reasonable!"

She seems to be finished observing the two blades and puts them down on the anvil. "So what are we doing? Making a sword out of those bars behind you?"

"I was planning on fusing the two swords you were just holding, actually."

Her eyes widen considerably. "Fuse THOSE?!"

She rapidly looks over her shoulder back to the sword and scissor blade. "WOW ok. That's going to make something horrifyingly powerful."

She floats over, peering over my shoulder at the bars sat on the table. "Then what are these for?"

"They are also going to be incorporated into the sword." I answer as the fairy wraps her arms loosely around my chest and presses her bust against my back.

She stares at the bars for a moment. "OH! I see what you are making now. It can only really be achieved by alchemy, no? But that the same time with these three materials you'll make something REALLY good!"

"that's right." I smile.

"I've never tried alchemical creation before, but I can't wait to try!"

**Linebreak**

My tongue slips into the mouth of the fairy sitting in my lap as my hands wrap around her waist.

We remain locked in our deep passionate kiss for around ten more seconds before I slowly stand.

She lets out a deep panting breath, her eyes lightly glazed over. "G-Gaius! I want it! Please. Give it to me... demolish me. Bend me over than anvil and wreck me."

"I would, but judging by how much aura that-" I point to a floating pair of scissors the size of a zweihander floating nearby. "Is making, Serafall and possibly the other satans will more than likely be busting down my door in roughly five. Four. Three. Two.

The doors on the other side of the room are flung open as Serafall storms into the room. "What did you do this time?!"

I gesture to the massive scissor ominously looming in the air. "I made that."

"And what, pray tell, Gai-Tan, is that?"

"Scissors which can cut space and time." I answer with a bright smile as I look back to the blade.

True Ark of the Cosmos:
A weapon, forged by a fairy and a devil divinity, its sheer power is leagues better than whatever you could have done on your own, as with the fairy's assistance you have unlocked a new ability for the blade. Instead of merely rending space, it may also rend TIME as well.
The enchantments upon this blade cannot be measured by merely '+1s or +20s' this blade's sheer power is incomparable to all others. A conceptual weapon. As long as your vision of power remains, it, so too, shall continue to exist.
Hardness: ∞
Health: ∞
Weight: Anywhere from less than an ounce to more than one hundred pounds depending on the form.
Damage: A weapon of this power and elegance cuts what its wielder wishes and only that. Nothing more. Nothing less. Can deal damage ranging from 1 all the way to 272D12+1360+Str*16
Crit Range: 10-20 x3 (Crit range doubled and damage improved to x4 when used to 'snip' something.)
Note: this weapon counts as a 'Greater Artifact' and may not be sold in the shop.

"Why would you even make those?!" The woman questions.

"Because I can." I shrug idly with a bright smile. "Since I released Ddraig, I needed some form of weapon that allows me to punch up at gods, after all~ also you're pretty lucky I'm restraining the aura. If I wasn't, you walking in here might have knocked you unconscious."

"Can you just like- put it away? Its sheer restrained aura is scaring a large portion of the underworld." The woman sighs.

"Hn? Oh. Yeah okay." With a snap of my fingers the sword vanishes.

I frown at the woman as she rubs her temples. "Sera-tan... I'm honestly getting the impression that you don't like me anymore..."

"NO!" The woman gasps, sounding horrified! "I-I'm sorry I made you think that Gai-Tan! I would never!"

"It's just... you have been causing a bunch of potential political disasters recently, and, well... I'm feeling a bit overworked... Gai-Tan... please tell me if you are going to do anything else crazy? Please?"

"Hm." I hum slowly. "Alright, well... you know how I can make sacred gears, right?"

"Yeees?" The woman cautiously answers.

"I have finished one that could potentially be politically disastrous." I calmly announce.

"In what regard?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh... it was made of those two godly dragons. I straight up tore up their soul and sewed the pieces back together like some sort of Frankenstein abomination, creating a new dragon in the place of the two old ones, as they probably wouldn't be too keen on serving ANYONE. That also got me a bunch of godly draconic soul fragments I used to refine some godly metal which I needed for my new sword, but I digress, this new soul, which I have named 'Miravim', has been used to make a sacred gear most powerful in its ability."

"I call it 'Genisis Vitae', a sacred gear which holds the Genisis Dragon, Miravim. It has two main abilities ripped from the dragons that created it... the first, is the ability to create creatures of grimm of varying strength, speed, and power, granting them magical powers and special effects, easily surpassing classic grimm and potentially even creating things that can kill gods."

"Okay... so basically another Annihilation maker, I don't really see how this is politically shattering-" Serafall mutters.

"The SECOND ability... is the ability to create SOULS. To create life. The second ability of this sacred gear causes the summoned creatures of grimm to shed their monstrous appearances and become real thinking, breathing, and living... permanent creatures. With all the abilities granted to them as their monstrous incarnation... say for instance, fiery regeneration, or maybe even the ability to conjure red and black blasts of energy that destroys whatever it touches, hell, maybe even the ability to conjure weapons made of light and fly around with pure white wings with little halos."

The woman freezes.

"W-what?"

"I made a sacred gear that can create clan devils, angels, fallen, dragons, yokai, vampires, werewolves, basically anything. We can create entirely new clan traits, PERSONALLY DESIGNED by us whenever we want."

She seems to think about the possibilities of this sacred gear.

"Gaius... you cannot make use of that sacred gear."

"Hm? Why not? It's basically what the original Lucifer and Lilith did." I point out.

"Yes, and you SHOULD see why there's such a problem with that." Serafall frowns.

"I mean, Lilith is still around, just completely and totally unconscious."

"Wh- h- how do you know this?!"

"God powers." I shrug idly.

"That doesn't- it doesn't work like- wha-"

"Yeah, she's chilling with the Greek god of death." I shrug. "He's making a couple devils using Lilith's flesh and the book of Lucy, but he hasn't managed many that get over high class in strength, and overall he's only made like... two hundred?

"Oh. Never mind, two hundred and one. And an it's ultimate class at that."

"Gai-Tan. You're dropping a lot of shit on me right now..." The girl whispers.

"Yeaaaah." I smile as I take another seat. "But at least I'm giving you a heads up so you can figure out how you want to proceed!"

The fairy in my lap seems disappointed at the lack of attention, she grabs my collar and forces me to kiss her.

I allow her to pull me close and lean into the kiss as Serafall watches dumbfoundedly.

I pull back a few seconds later a small smirk on my face. "Soooo~ anyways, I'm probably giving Genesis Vitae to Ravel, it's up to you if you want to reveal its true abilities to the remainder of the leaders in the biblical alliance, but she's really just going to use it sort of like an off-brand annihilation maker. Ravel would probably be willing to create a platoon or two of a certain light wielding race which can't reproduce easily. I am just unsure how strong she would be able to make them."

"I will... think on it." The woman replies. "Now, I need to go find a conceivable way to inquire about Hades. Goodbye Gai-tan."

"Goodbye Sera-tan~" I wave, watching the girl leave the forge and close the door behind her as I turn back to the fairy in my lap. "Soooooo~ where were we?"

"If I remember correctly, you were tearing off my clothes and bending me over and anvil, after which you would proceed to paint the walls of my womb white with your seed."

"…" I stare into the fairy's eyes, watching as a blush crosses her face which has a fairly flirty and impish expression. "Sounds about right... Get those clothes off."

"YES!" She cheers.

**Linebreak**

I scratch my temple with a bored expression as I wait for the rating game to start.

"So! What's the plan, Gaius?" Ravel asks with a bright smile. "Today's the big day! The biggest threat! Diehauser is completely and totally undefeated. What sort of plan do you have?"

"Oh... it's a fairly dangerous plan, but one that has a one hundred percent victory rate." I announce, a small smile working its way across my face.

"Oh?" Ravel questions.

I slowly rise to my feet, shifting Neo off of my lap and to the side. "The plan is simple..."

I look over my shoulder, gazing across my peerage, I allow a long silence to prevail.

"You all stay here." I announce.

"Wh- what?" Ravel questions.

"You're seriously going to fight THE rating game number one and his entire peerage... by yourself?" Mittelt deadpans with an annoyed huff. "Sounds sort of like you."

"That is indeed the plan. Nobody will respect my authority and mind-numbing power if I cannot do this much by myself."

"You know, I doubt either of the super devils could take on all of Diehauser's peerage at the same time." Weiss weakly points out.

"Debatable." I shrug as I turn and continue walking. "There's a point that counteracts your argument... I am not Ajuka or Sirzechs."

"Rad. Be careful. I don't want to deal with your pouting when you overestimate yourself and get your ass kicked. He can counter your regeneration I hope you know." Mittelt lazily points out.

"I am aware." I nod once. "Later."

**Linebreak**

Pov: elsewhere

"Welcome to quite possibly the greatest match in the tournament rating game fans!" The classic Naud Gamigin exclaims, only this time he is joined by a horned woman with long pink hair and horns. "It is I! Naud Gamigin, here today to bring you my glorious rating game commentary. Today I am joined by the second ranked rating game participant, Roygun Belphegor."

A young Rose casually sits on the couch with her knees brought up to her chest, waiting to see if her last bet on the tournament is going to pay out.

It should. She trusts Gaius.

"A pleasure to be here, Naud."

"So, what can you say about our two contestants today?" The host questions.

"Well, they are both undefeated for one, however, Gaius Decarabia has the advantage in this scenario. He has kept the underworld in the dark about certain members of his peerage. The triad of his two pawns, Weiss Schnee and Ingvild Leviathan, alongside his queen Valerie Tepes is a sight to behold, capable of holding their own against a majority of the previous rank three's peerage, yes, but I am fearful of what the ones he HASN'T shown off can do... as in, the pink haired one and the grey skinned one."

"What are they capable of?" The woman questions. "What can they do. Why has Lord Decarabia refused to use them?"

"That is a good question indeed." The host nods. "Why don't we take a look at the final preparations of our two opposing contestants!"

"Huh?"

The screen shifts, showing a single black haired devil calmly walking forwards... alone, while on the other side of the rating game field numerous preparations are underway. Defensive magics are being cast, areas are being reshaped, traps are being placed.

"What the hell is he doing?" The male commentator questions.

"It appears... that he is going to try and fight the entirety of Diehauser's peerage... by himself..." The rating game rank two whispers in shock.

"IS HE INSANE?!"

He looks to the camera suddenly. "That's debatable."

"…"

"Wh- what the fuck?! Can he hear us?! No that should be impossible. The rating game arena was specially designed to prevent any form of outside interference."

He shoots the camera a smug, impish grin as he continues walking. "You're probably saying something along the lines of 'Something something someone is feeding me information. Riiiight? Nah. I'm just guessing. Your next line is 'that's complete and utter nonsense'. To you~"

"That's complete and utter nons-" the man's voice catches in his throat as he comprehends what the devil says milliseconds before he says it.

He pauses in a large open clearing, glancing back to the hidden magical sensor once more. "Ah. Shame. Looks like he didn't meet me head on. Can you start the game already?"

The commentator box is utterly silent as the boy raises his hands; a tremendous magic circle appears on the ground below his feet.

"Y-You may begin-"

A brilliant glow obscures the clearing from view as with a flash numerous figures appear.

A dragon, some form of red skinned man, a couple of human looking figures, and the leader of the peerage appears, a tall white haired man with a blood red coat that has a raised collar, and a black shirt that fails as a shirt as it reveals his entire chest and stomach

"Greetings, Diehauser Belial. We have not had the pleasure of meeting. My name is Gaius Decarabia."

The large black dragon lunges forwards with a ferocious snarl, its hand smashing into the ground over where Gaius is standing.

"Allow me to apologize for what I must do." He continues, now sat in a tree on the other side of the clearing, arms folded behind his head.

The dragon turns on a dime, opening its mouth wide as a blue energy coalesces at the back of its throat.

With a casual swing of Gaius' hand, space bends and sends the blue beam hurtling into the distance in a slight arc.

"Rude." The devil shrugs.

Chains wrap around his body and smash him through the ground, dragging his flailing body through rubble, rock, and earth.

"Diehauser Belial's pawn has been retired."

The group attacking Gaius pause as a blue light glows from inside the dust cloud and disappears.

"You know, originally I was going to do this whole 'one by one they fall' sort of thing, but nah. I'm tired. I'm just going to take you all out in one fell swoop." Gaius' voice pipes up from the other side of the clearing once more.

The rating game screen crackles and warbles slightly as Gaius draws... something.

"What- something is interfering with the rating game sensors!" One of the commentators gasp.

The glitchy screen warbles slightly as it shows Gaius standing there with a simple short sword.

He slashes it once in the air, and slowly walks forwards, a couple of the pawns waver as a calm smile crosses the Decarabian lord's face.

He crosses his arm across his chest and swings once, causing the screen to devolve into static.

After about five seconds it clears up again, revealing Gaius stood there with that strange looking short sword propped on his shoulders.

Everything for hundreds of feet around him has been vaporized, all but a cone in front of him as a barrier spell slowly shatters.

The man behind it lets out a low groan as he falls to his knees, a large gash sits on his chest, going shoulder to hip.

"Three... Two..." The teen idly counts as a figure lands with a crouch behind him, legs bending as they fight off the force of their landing.

They rush forwards at high speeds, rushing for Gaius' open back.

"One." He counts.

A large gash appears on their stomach, causing them to glow blue and disappear.

The number one rating game ranker stares up at the boy as he slowly approaches.

"You... cut that exact space before..." He accuses quietly.

"Yep." Gaius easily nods.

"Then... you predicted someone would be standing in that exact place in however many seconds that was?!" The man whispers.

"That's right." Gaius nods again.

"Who... no... what are you?"

"Gaius Decarabia Malthus. A super devil easily comparable to Ajuka Beelzebub and Sirzechs Lucifer." Gaius cheekily answers as he shifts his grip on the sword.

"It is my loss." The white haired man sighs.

**Linebreak**

I calmly take a sip of my tea as I read headline after headline, a black haired loli sits in my lap nuzzled up to my chest.

"Self proclaimed Super Devil Appears."

"Undefeated Rating Game Rank 1 Falls!"

"10 Reasons Why Gaius Decarabia Cheated In His Match With Diehauser."

It's genuinely sad.

Only about forty percent of these guys are like 'Yeah, this guy singlehandedly wiped out Diehauser. He's totally on the level of the four Satans. I mean, we said that Diehauser was Satan-class in his own right.'

That small minority claiming I cheated is especially sad.

Blah blah 'we don't acknowledge this devil as super devil', 'Using unknown means to win', 'he should have come to use if he wanted to announce himself as a super devil' and other things like that.

"You smell different." Ophis blankly announces as she presses her face against my chest.

"That's because I am. Over the past week I've grown stronger." I answer as I pat the top of her head.

"I see." She blandly whispers

She closes her eyes and seems to try and nap, me rubbing the back of her head seems to have calmed her even further, letting her relax in my grasp.

'Well... now what? I completed a quest that gave me some electrum... and that was it.'

The door creaks open. "Master."

"Yes, Virgo?" I question as the pink haired maid steps through the door with a large sack over her shoulder.

"You have mail." She announces.

I give the sack a tired stare and let out a long sigh. "Fine, Fine. Please bring it here."

The celestial spirit complies and steps forwards sitting the large bag on the ground beside my desk. "Thank you, Virgo."

"Is it punishment time?" She hopefully asks.

"After the rating game season." I reply easily, once more delaying her perversions.

She beams at the thought of being brutally beaten by me and slowly walks out of the room.

"…"

'So, like... what do I do with her? Just like, punch her in the nose or something? Ugh. Why did my first piece have to be so difficult. Why couldn't I have just gotten like... Aries.'

I silently shrug as I take a letter from the sack. 'Eh, Virgo's hotter than Aries anyways.'

I open the letter with one hand and begin reading.

"Attention Lord Decarabia, as a representative of the great king faction, I, Lord Vassago, demand you turn over that weapon you used to defile the sanctity of rating games to the great king faction. Failure to comply will result in serious punishment. You have seven days to turn over the weapon in question otherwise you will be forced to relinquish your evil pieces."

*Snrrk-*

I snort as I read over the letter again and again as I make sure what I read was one hundred percent correct.

'oh my god. That's comedy gold!'

I wordlessly lay the paper on the table and snap a picture of the letter then text it to Serafall.

"Take a look at this Shit! All that is unholy it's like these fucking idiots don't have a shred of self-preservation." - Gaius 14:45

I see a little notification at the bottom of my message that shows that my message has been read, but she doesn't reply for a little while.

Huh. A little unusual.

I wonder what she's up to?

"…"

Oh. A meeting with Michael and Gabriel it appears she got quite spooked when she got a message from me, but breathed a sigh of relief when it was something so 'minor'.

'now, what are they meeting about?'

Oh. I see.

I quietly tap out another text as I watch Serafall's speech bubble light up.

"Oh, Btw, Tell Michael and Gabriel that those conditions are fine. It's not like I'm frothing at the mouth to create dozens upon dozens of races. Also tell them that I need to show them something. *Cough* Remnant *Cough*. Plus, I've got a few sacred gears I want to give them as thanks for being so chill with what was revealed in the last meeting between the biblical factions." - Gaius 14:46

"…"  - Serafall 14:46

I watch the bubble light up again and again as she seems to be trying to think of what to say, eventually settling it with an 'Ok.'

I suppose I should wait and see if Gabriel and Miachel want to see Remnant right now, otherwise I still need to process portions of Remnant's twin gods. Ajuka finished looking at what he wanted and now I've got a bunch of mangled super dragon corpses sitting around under the effects of gentle repose spell.

I pet the top of Ophis head earing a quiet noise of appreciation that sounds vaguely like 'mn.'

'Well now, let's see if we have anymore laughably pathetic 'give me your sword' messages!'