Dungeons and Devils (Chapter 24) (Patreon)

I silently take a bite of my sandwich as I sit in the dark mustiness of the cave.

It’s a good sandwich.

Ham, Salami, pepperoni, lettuce, tomato and mayo all on two toasted pieces sourdough bread? Add in a little mozzarella and some mustard, and you have a sandwich fit for a king.

I've decided to humor Xenovia despite the fact that reasonably she owns nothing in that pile over there... finders' keepers, and I found it.

I told Xenovia that my current offer would be the hoard and the dragon for the sword... what I didn't tell her, is what exactly I was offering it for.

She definitely assumes the sword, as if she owns it.

The dragon is currently sitting in my auctions window... I just haven't pressed the 'send' button quite yet. I'm blatantly using the system to cheat and transfer the dragon corpse. I can take it out at any time I want,

It's sort of sad the dragon's soul isn't in its body anymore, I tried leeching it, but alas, it's not meant to be.

It's a shame that when I finish this sandwich, I'll have deemed it 'too long' to wait and I'll just disappear into the void.

My unseen servants are in the distance, scooping coin after coin, gem after gem, pathetic magic weapon after pathetic magic weapon into several cheap bags of holding I bought.

'Why were you so forthcoming and kind to the bratty blue haired wench? even allowing her to think you'd freely give up your hard-earned hoard?'

'The reasoning is quite simple... I want the wielder of Durandal in my peerage. That blade is notoriously picky when it comes to wielders, and the chance I could get another with such an easily manageable set of desires, and the willingness to become a devil, is slim.'

'But... she's an Exorcist... why would she become a devil?'

'you'll see.'

Then there's also another small factor... she's hot... one of Issei's best girls in fact. If I plant the seeds of doubt in her mind now, by the time Kokabiel rears his VERY ugly head, she'd practically fall into my peerage! All I'd need to do is let her train, and put a baby in her when the time is right... But I won't exactly tell Ddraig that part of my reasoning.

I take another bite as I look to the note in my other hand.

'Dear Xenovia and her companions.'

That part's good. 'Reasonable... if you wanted to be polite.'

'I have made a startling realization.'

Yes. 'You were going to do this the entire time.'

'I don't owe you anything.'

Correct. 'Correct.'

'You literally just followed me, did nothing, and expected me to hand over all of my extremely hard-earned treasure.'

This exactly what happened. 'Also correct.'

I take another bite of my sandwich.

After this sandwich, I'll miss my train ride home and be forced to teleport... shame.

Ah well. I can easily just walk to the train station and teleport back to Japan. Nothing's stopping me. But that gives me reasoning to leave this place behind.

The servants finish loading the bags, and bring them to me, three of them are placed within my dimensional storage while I allow the last to hang on my waist.

My eye twitches slightly as I hear footsteps echoing down the tunnel, I quickly crumple the paper and cause it to ignite with a little casting of prestidigitation

Shame. But I am a man of my word.

I watch three figures come into view as I take another bite of my sandwich.

"Ah. So, you finally arrive..." I slowly drawl as I look to my watch. "I missed my train."

"I am sorry, Seth, we needed to find the stray devil before we could come here." The blue haired exorcist states.

"That's fine. Understandable even. I don't blame you. But you did cut it a little close. I was thinking about leaving as soon as I finished my sandwich."

I crinkle some foil around the sandwich and stand up.

"Wait..." Xenovia slowly states. "Where's the treasure?"

"Oh, I took it." I shrug.

"But I thought you said you were going to negotiate with it!" The blue haired exorcist in training exclaims.

I look to the blonde nun who is gazing at me calculatingly and the brown-haired girl who is blinking owlishly.

"Oh, I plan to, but you seem to misunderstand something, Xenovia... I legitimately owe you nothing. You have zero rights to anything that was in this cave. You could have maybe, had the smallest of points if Caledfwlch was a holy sword, but it isn't. It's just a basic neutral magic sword... and the last time I checked; the church isn't exactly the owner of anything Arthur related... the Pendragons probably would have some words for you."

"B-But you said that you would duel me to decide if the church can have it."

"Oh, don't worry, I still plan to and I also plan to negotiate with the near 'dragon king's body and treasure... however, I never said it was the sword I was negotiating for."

I look to the blond nun and with a blank face I state what I really want.

"I want a small piece of the original holy grail." I declare as I face the three girls, causing the two exorcists in training to flinch and the nun's eyes to widen slightly.

"I am not permitted to allow that." The blonde slowly states, saying the first thing she has said since she got here. "May I ask why you want it so badly?"

"My friend's brain is being torn apart by her own sacred gear, and, from what I have figured out, the energy of the holy grail can stop that."

"Where... did you get that sort of information... it wouldn't even work unless-"

Her voice dies out abruptly. "Sephiroth Grall... your friend has Sephiroth Grall, doesn't she."

"Yeah." I nod once, attempting to guilt her slightly.

"I see." The nun slowly states as she closes her eyes. "I may not be able to permit that, yet, I will certainly bring this to the attention of someone who can."

"But the fact that the Grail has this sort of effect on Sephiroth Grall is actually a bit of a secret in the church. Not an enforced one, or really a well-kept one, but still... not many people know about that effect... how exactly did you figure that out."

"I would be a poor information broker if I didn't know how to get hard to find information." I shrug with a small smile.

"Oh? Is that so? Is that also how you figured out where Caledfwlch's remains were?" The woman questions with a frown.

"Pretty much, yeah." I nod.

She knows I'm a devil. One hundred percent.

"Hm."

"Oh!" Irina grins. "Can you tell me what my best friend from my old home has been up to?"

I give her a blank stare. "I have connections... I'm not omnipotent."

I look to my watch again. "And as much as speaking to you all has been enjoyable, I do have things to do today. Primarily of the figuring out how to reforge Caledfwlch variety."

"So, I would appreciate it if I could get on with my duel with Xenovia."

The nun nods slowly and crosses her arms. "I suppose this would be beneficial for Xenovia to learn what it's like to fight people other than Irina and myself... and you are correct. We have no claim to anything that you found today, the fact that you are humoring Xenovia even slightly is more than generous."

She also seems to know that I am far more skilled that I appear to be.

"But Caledfwlch, would interest the church, however, you don't want to part with it, correct?"

"I need to give it to a friend, she doesn't have a true weapon yet, so I thought 'hey, what better than to give her one wielded by someone in her family'."

"I see... Very Well I suppose I we should get this over with. Xenovia, you are permitted to use Excalibur Destruction." The nun announces.

The blue haired girl's eyes widen as she looks over to her teacher, then gives a resolute nod, more than likely accepting that she is being tasked to retrieve Caledfwlch instead of her Teacher's statement of 'you are going to need that sword'.

"I hope there are no hard feelings after this." Xenovia states.

"I hope there are none as well." I smile.

I watch as Xenovia slowly unwraps the cloth from her sword and tosses it aside, she takes the large blade in both hands and narrows her eyes.

I look to the folded sandwich in my other hand, then place it in the bag of holding I have at my waist.

A red blade appears in my hand with a dim flash, the Nun's eyes immediately narrowing before softening slightly, she seems to pity me slightly.

She seems have correctly assumed that I was a full-blooded noble devil, this probably shook her a little. For some reason, her thinking that I am a reincarnated devil has been tossed completely out of the window for some reason.

'She can tell that you have a clan trait.'

'hm? How?'

'I... do not know. The last time my wielder was a part of the church, they didn't discover anything like this... of course, it has been hundreds of years since then, so a lot has perhaps changed.'

"Begin." I hear the nun state.

Xenovia swiftly lunges forwards and leaps, hefting the sword into the air.

I sure hope that dimensional storage perk works...

A smile crosses my face as she swings the blade downwards.

*CLANG*

I raise a hand and catch the blade with one bare hand.

Irina gasps, and even Griselda looks surprised.

Xenovia's eyes widen almost comically, and as her feet touch the ground, I lean forwards and smash my forehead into her own, causing her to flinch back as I yank on the blade of Excalibur Destruction, causing it to slide from her grip.

She clutches her forehead with a hand as she staggers back, then after a moment, she realizes her other hand is empty.

I flick the blade around and watch as the edge begins to hum menacingly.

"Hm." I hum as I swing the blade once to the side, creating a short burst of destruction that lasts for about thirty feet, atomizing rotten boxes and nonmagical armor in the short cone. "Powerful."

I flip the blade around so the hilt is facing Xenovia again.

"A n-natural Excalibur wielder?!" The girl questions.

"I take this as me winning? You are disarmed, and even after an attack with all of your weight behind it, I am left completely and totally unscathed."

She stares for a moment before sighing and grabbing the hilt of the blade, causing me to release it. "It's my total loss... not many can just casually block an attack from Excalibur destruction... I had no chance, did I?"

"Nope." I slowly agree.

"I've got a long way to go."

"You do." I slowly nod. "But you are at an incredible disadvantage. You are human without a sacred gear... the fact you are even able to get this strong is already an achievement, but, if you want some advice, I may have a way for you to grow far stronger than you are now."

"Oh?"

"Across the world I have seen many things, and a suggestion for you would to be to learn Touki."

"Touki?" The blue haired girl blinks.

"It's an ability typically used to yokai due to their senjutsu, however, senjutsu isn't required, you can achieve it by merely training hard enough. Touki increases your physical abilities drastically and even lets you dispel magic attacks by punching them if you really wanted."

"Touki." She mutters, a frown on her face. "I will... consider it. It pains me to use something Yokai use, but you if you are correct, it could definitely help me in the future."

I nod once and step around her. "Well then, I have to go figure out how I want to return home, I apologize for getting Xenovia to drag you both here."

I pull out a slip of paper. "This is my phone number, if the church does decide that they wish to trade the dragon king level corpse for a shard of the original holy grail, give me a call, but if I don't get some form of definitive reply in a month or so, I'll be using the dragon for other things."

I hand it to Xenovia and make my way to the exit of the cave. "Anyways, I hope you all have a pleasant evening."

I pause mid step. "Oh, and Nun lady... how could you tell?"

The woman frowns slightly. "There were several inconsistencies in your speech, a normal person couldn't tell, but you aren't very experienced at Italian, are you?"

"He was speaking Italian?" The brown-haired girl mutters.

"I see. That is an oversight."

"May I ask how you withstood Excalibur Destruction?" The exorcist questions.

"I'm friends with the Grall user. She'd be a pretty bad friend if she knew I was going to be looking for things to use to negotiate with the church and didn't give me a built-in immunity."

"Byyyyye!"

I turn, and with a blur of speed, disappear down the cavern.

'You seriously gave them your phone number? Why not give them your home address as well?'

'Oh, no, I gave them the number to a burner phone. I can cut contact more or less whenever I want just by tossing that bitch into the ocean.'

'Oh. I see. Your plans are confounding and honestly overly complicated, Temporary partner.'

'that's because I'm more or less making it up as I go along!'

**Linebreak**

"So, Arthur, you wanted to see me?"

He lets out a quiet sigh. "Yeah. I have a couple things I want to talk about with you."

We fall into an awkward silence for a moment before he eventually speaks. "My sister wants to join your peerage."

"I am aware. I told her to actually consult you instead of just asking me." I nod.

He bows his head. "I am incredibly thankful for that. Please, I have to ask you... don't do it."

"If she were to join your peerage, I fear that my family would disown her... I don't want that to happen to her. It would shatter her... to see our parents look at her with disdain."

"She seems pretty persistent about it." I note with a small frown. "But, I do accept your point, it would probably not be the best for her to join my peerage if she'd be disowned."

He scratches the back of his head. "It just hurts to deny this for her... she seems to really want to join you, and I don't like saying no to her."

"Sometimes, you've got to put your foot down and do what's best for her." I shrug. "I understand completely."

A silent moment passes between us, Arthur seems surprised at how easily I am accepting this.

"I am glad we could talk this out easily." The man before me slowly nods. "Now for another thing I wanted to ask... is... Artoria a Pendragon?"

"Well, you certainly figured that out quickly, yes, yes she is."

"How?" He quietly whispers.

"Well," I begin slowly as I raise my hands. "When a mommy and a daddy love each other veeery-"

"I meant that I've never seen her before, so I'm wondering you found her." He deadpans with a dry huff of amusement."

"I just got lucky." I shrug. "I saw she had potential and asked if she wanted to be reincarnated."

"If you have never seen her" I continue. "She clearly isn't part of your family, maybe from a branch family? The only thing I know about her is that she is clearly very connected to her roots and also seems to have inherited some of the original Arthur's will."

"Original king Arthur's will?" The descendant mutters.

"I'm not too well versed on it actually, but apparently humans can inherit the spirit of those deceased."

I cup my chin and let out a low hum. "I really should look into that sometime."

"Anyways, I have no idea what it means or does, or hell, maybe she doesn't even have the spirit of king Arthur, that's just the most logical explanation as for why she is so mind numbingly powerful with a holy sword."

"I see." He slowly states. "That must be the reason she picked up my family's sword style so quickly."

"You are teaching her your family's sword style" I mutter with a confused expression. "Wouldn't that get you disowned?"

"Not since she is of the pendragon lineage." The man states. "And besides. You saved my sisters life. Learning my family's swordsmanship is almost worthless in comparison."

"Well... alright." I slowly mutter. "How is her training going anyways?"

"Surprisingly well. As I said, her abilities are improving at an astounding rate, sometimes in the middle of battle she... changes... swapping up her style of fighting in an instant. it's like fighting two people at once." Arthur answers with a small smile. "I honestly can't say that I have ever taught anyone before, and it has certainly been a learning experience. Actually, a little enjoyable."

"I'm glad you are finding enjoyment in teaching her, then... and to answer your unasked question. No. I don't know why she does that. My best guess is something within her lineage interacting with the evil pieces."

"I see... I know absolutely nothing about evil pieces so I cannot refute that."

"Devils have been trying to understand evil pieces for hundreds of years... and Ajuka still says there are secrets that haven't been discovered yet. Anyways, there was something I wanted to ask you as well."

"What is it?" Arthur questions with a slow blink.

"Do you mind if I let Artoria wield Caledfwlch?"

"Caledfwlch?" He mutters as he cups his chin. "That sounds vaguely famil-"

"It's a sword the lady of the lake gave Arthur before Excalibur. You might not have heard it because of how early young Arthur broke it."

I place a hand on my head and let out a long groan. "Ugh. Reforging it is going to be so annoying."

"A sword before Excalibur?" The blond glasses wearing young adult questions. "Was it any good? And where did you even find it?"

"Oh, I found it earlier today... that's actually where I was all day... in Poland. As for how good it was, Arthur broke it before it reached its full potential. From what I can tell, its main ability is that it can hold far more enchantments than a regular sword. But it looks like it broke before Arthur could put much more than a sharpness or a durability enhancement on it."

"A sword with numerous enchantments... sound familiar?" I continue with a small smile. "I am half convinced the lady of the lake just gave Arthur a renamed copy of Caledfwlch that she chose the enchantments on."

"Please stop making the ancestor that I've looked up to and was named after look like an idiot... you are really ruining my image of him." The glasses wearing boy sighs. "And considering the blade was broken so early, then it amounted to basically nothing, I do not believe my family would mind it if you reforged it and made it Artoria's."

He pauses for a moment. "Wait... are you... collecting all of king Arthur's treasures?"

"I'm making an honest attempt at it, yes." I nod.

He lets out a low hum and frowns briefly. "I see..."

He scratches his chin. "If... Le Fay keeps pestering you about it..."

He lets out a long sigh. "If you can find enough of my Family's lost treasures, I do not think they would disown Le Fay for joining your peerage."

"I'll keep it in mind." I nod as I slowly stand. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find a place to put a massive dragon corpse."

"What." The swordsman blinks owlishly.