Dastardly Desires (Chapter 15) (Patreon)

DNA Gacha {Unique} (2,500,000 Poke) 
Grants you unique DNA for your genetic alteration needs! This will either grant you an entirely new species for you to clone, or, in some special cases, DNA which you must splice together with something that has a high affinity with it. 

This... 

Is highly expensive. 

But. 

I've got enough money for three more teammates easily. 

Fuck it. Let's roll the gacha thrice and see what I get! 

The first, appears to be quite common. The second, pretty damned rare, and the third is nearing one of the best things I could have gotten. 

Standalone DNA Sample: "White Tyrant" 
From a world of fright, these primal and ancient genes were... artificially... created and spliced. Huh. Someone beat you to it! Of course, it didn't end well for them. Life finds a way, after all. Regardless, we have converted the raw primal vigor of the original form and gave it a pokemon touchup, and that means two things. Mystical 'Type-Energy'... and Evolution. Have fun! Good luck breeding out its sheer mean streak. 

Unpaired/Standalone DNA Sample: "Thunder Child" 
Assuredly your best pal, this little creature packs quite the punch... should you complete her DNA Sequence, that is. This pokemon has an incredible affinity with the legendary Pokemon 'Thundurus'. Like, to a point where it sort of feels a bit... copywrite infringe-y. You have two options. Revive it as is and have a... decent... pokemon. Maybe on par with a Kirlia or so. OR you could revive her like she is meant to be and have a pokemon that can blow Pseudo Legendaries out of the water! It's sort of needed as she can't necessarily evolve. And while she probably won't be as powerful as the legendary itself, she'll sure as hell be a lot easier to control. 

Unpaired Dna Sample: "Black Dragon" 
This powerful and potent genome is going to be quite difficult to pair. I'll give you a hint. It's paired genetic partner needs to be Melanistic. Beyond that? Well, how many dragon type pokemon are there? Surely finding a match can't be that hard. Oh. And I should probably mention. This will be QUITE the upgrade to the pokemon in question. Even if it is quite impressive already. 

"..." 

I let out a quiet sigh, rubbing my temple. 

Seriously? Thundurus? 

That's... fucking annoying. 

How much is its DNA in the shop? 

"..." 

You have got to be fucking joking. 

Thirty million?! FUCK. 

It isn't as impressive as a legendary pokemon from what I've heard... 

Like, the most the genies can do would be a perpetual storm over like... maybe a couple of towns? 

Nothing compared to Articuno, Moltres, or Zapdos which could render more than half a region in utter chaos. 

Landorus is a bit stronger but not by much. 

Reasonably... I might be able to punch up at one. Just enough to get some hair or something. 

Well, I don't plan on half-assing things, so this DNA is probably going on the backburner for now. At least until I can get close enough to an errant thunderstorm to pluck a few hairs from his eyebrows. 

I've got enough money for one further attempt. 

Fuck it. 

Cynthia's been paying me enough that even if I do make use of the final bit of the ten million I had originally saved, I'll still have quite a lot left over. 

I watch a fourth wheel spin before me. 

Around and around it goes. 

Where it stops... 

Who can know. 

The wheel slows, a quiet clicking echoing out. 

Something that seemingly only I can hear. 

Eventually... it stops. 

It appears I got something quite rare again. 

Standalone DNA: "Volt Dragon" 
This powerful beast has the full concentrated power of a thunderstorm coursing through its veins. While not the most powerful thing you could have gotten, it is no stretch to say that it is quite legendary back in its own world... or rather, a legendary hunter. If said strength translates to pokemon, it's anyone's guess. 

Huh... 

Well, I've... got another dragon. 

Regardless, these are some things to spice up my teams. 

There's nothing saying that I have to only use these on my team. 

As for 'Volt Dragon'... it says standalone... but... I'm going to try and combine it with Zekrom. If I did only what the system told me, that'd be a little boring. 

I'll see what else I can cook up in my off time. 

I'm not really using my genetic tinkering to its full capacity, though. 

Making incredible pokemon is one thing, but what about me? What can I do? 

I'm one errant hyper beam away from being nothing more than ash. 

That won't necessarily change, even If I get a handle on my doctor strange bullshit. 

Huh. 

That's a thought... 

Couldn't I improve myself? 

Put that thought on the backburner. 

"Sir. Another egg is hatching." Jarvis informs, causing me to rise from the couch and quickly walk away. 

I come to a stop just at the edge of the pool. 

Will this one have huge power? 

That's the question, I suppose. 

I've also been experimenting with the 'Alpha' gene. 

You know how in the first season of the pokemon anime... there was a lighthouse-sized dragonite? 

Yeah. That's sort of an advanced form of the 'Alpha' gene known as the 'king' gene. 

An extremely rare genetic mutation that results in the pokemon in question growing... endlessly. 

Most pokemon would eventually reach their species' typical size and stop, but these guys just get bigger and bigger as the years pass. 

It seems far more common in reptiles and aquatic life I've noticed. 

There's far fewer giant rattata than monstrous wailords. 

Regardless, I haven't even touched on the king-gene. 

One. It's far rarer. Two... 

It's one thing to walk over to an oversized Charizard and tear a scale off its back. But it is another to walk over to a building sized Charizard and do the same. 

Three.  

God could you imagine FEEDING a king gene Gyarados? 

Like. That's a wailord a week! At least! 

Alpha pokemon are typically just bigger and stronger versions of normal pokemon. 

It's sort of like a force multiplier... 

Like huge power! 

So, If I can get an Alpha with huge power? 

Heh. 

Heheheh. 

It'll definitely eat more as well, but there's between feeding a Gyarados one and a half to twice the size of a normal one and one more than ten times bigger than normal. 

I gaze down into the pool of eggs, spying a dozen or so sat at the bottom. 

School is growing closer and closer. 

In just one week... it'll be the start of the new year. 

I watch the largest of the eggs shake and wobble in the pool. 

My hopes are high! 

The alpha gene is pretty finnicky. Some pokemon just take to it better than others. Even in the same species. 

This one is the largest egg I have created so far, soooo- 

Crack-Crack 

Bits of eggshell float away from the egg as a large fish pushes its way free. 

A large grin crosses my lips. 

There's another beautiful medikarp. 

That name is sort of still in its beta stages. 

Medieval Magikarp. Medikarp. 

I'll workshop it. 

I don't want to use the shitty names of Paradox pokemon. 

Fucking 'Roaring Moon'.  

WHY'D YOU GIVE FUCKING KORAIDON AND MIRAIDON ACTUAL NAMES IF YOU WERE GOING TO HALF-ASS IT WITH THOSE GENUINELY HORRIBLE ABOMINATIONS?! 

Fucking call it 'Box Legendary' you hacks. 

Like, I've been thinking up names for all the past paradox pokemon- because I'm going to revive them eventually- and, like, they didn't even fucking try. 

Bagrunt, Shellignant, Malimence. That's leagues better than whatever 'Roaring Moon' is. 

Bagrunt formed of Bagon, Runt, and the word Grunt. Shellignant from Shellgon and Malignant, then Malimence from Malice and Salamence. Showing that it shares a typing with the violent dragon type Hydreigon. 

I shake my head, refocusing on the fish in the pond that is swimming in circles. It's quite a bit larger than the other ones I've hatched. 

I pull out my scanner, a wave of light washing over the pokemon. 

Species: Medikarp 
Ability: Marvel Scale, Huge Power 
Type: Water/Dragon 
Moves: Tackle, Bite, Splash, Aqua Jet, Body Slam 
Size: 2'6 Feet tall, 4'9 feet long 
Size Comparison to species average: +87.3% 
Weight: 87.9 Pounds 
Weight Comparison to species average: +283.4% 
Physical Strength: +183.2% 
Spiritual Strength: +12.3% 
Agility: -2.3% 
Durability: +87.3% 

There it is. 

Hello... new team member. 

Now to pull a professor oak. 

Are you a boy or a girl? 

~~Linebreak~~

"Oho shit!" I curse, eyes growing wide as I gaze into my microscope. "Damn. That's lucky." 

What's lucky, you might ask? 

The fact that I used a sample for my first of many attempts at altering myself instead of just jabbing the needle into my arm and hoping for the best. 

Yeaaah... 

Dodged a bullet here. 

So. 

What I am doing is simple. 

I'm trying to give myself the 'Regenerator' ability. 

And what has said action resulted in? 

Turbo Cancer. 

Like wow. 

I need to tone some of this shit back. Set some boundaries. 

Dna is sort of like a PC. If you fuck around enough- I mean- If you take enough careful time and effort... you can apply rules. 

I mean, a sperm and an egg can create two hundred plus bones, functioning organs, teeth. 

What else would you call that other than 'regeneration'? 

Well, I mean, creating... 

But If you really think about it... a woman is growing all of those things... thus BOOM! I'm correct! Regeneration! 

There's also the fact that a younger person is just far more durable than an older one. 

A kid can fall out of a tree and be totally fine. Walking it off with some crying. 

An older person can trip over a curb and never walk again. 

I'm hoping to not only reawaken that child-like durability and resilience in my body, but enhance it several times. 

Then I can focus on giving myself Huge Power. 

I'm also quite worried about that because, well...  

Human muscles are already very powerful. 

If you break your leg bad enough, your muscles will pull your leg shorter, causing the broken halves to pass each other. 

At that point, you're basically dead. 

I'm worried that if I don't have something to reinforce my bones... I might accidentally just implode. 

Then there's the worry about calorie intake. Such a large change would likely need a truckload of protein. Then there's the matter of sustaining myself afterwards. 

I'm not exactly a Nutritionist. I know a bit, sure. But I might have read a few more books. 

How annoying. 

Regenerator will likely take an excess of calories to function as well. 

My hope isn't to have an ability to regrow my body if my head gets chopped off, that's a little unrealistic. 

But. I am hoping that if I ever get shot in the stomach, I'll more or less be fine. 

Maybe regrow a finger or toe or something like that. 

A long sigh leaves my lips as I rise to my full height. 

"Screw it. I'm shelving this for today." I blandly scoff. 

This was merely a first attempt after a week of trial and error. I need to get to bed now because school starts up again tomorrow. 

Maybe I should attempt to figure out regeneration from a mamalian pokemon this time? 

I sort of fucked off and grabbed some dna from a Alomomola because it was the most readily available. 

Maybe I'll have more success if I went after a Mienfoo? It also has quite the notable regeneration factor as well. 

I let out a quiet yawn, hand coming to my mouth. "Whatever. First exercise. Then bed." 

I step into my bedroom, going through the motions which have become second nature to me. 

I just need to do this for... let's say ten minutes, then I'll grab something to drink, brush and floss, then go to be- 

I freeze in place, eyes growing wide. 

A sole little ember seems to drift downwards, disappearing before it reaches the floor. 

I quickly start over, going through the motions- 

Spark 

"..." 

My eyes slowly slide downwards following the sole ember that appeared in between my hands as it drifts downwards. 

A devious grin crosses my face. 

~~Linebreak~~

I slump in my seat, tiredly staring up at the ceiling. 

Well. 

Maybe I over did it. 

Magic. 

I can use magic. 

The mere thought of that causes a small grin to appear on my face 

Of course, I'm nothing more than a sparkler at the moment, but it's a start. 

Courtney sits next to me, a small yawn leaving her lips. 

"Hey Courtney." I greet tiredly. 

"Hey." She replies, equally as tired. 

"Not used to getting up so early again?" I question. 

"Mhm." She weakly hums as she wipes an eye. 

"So... how was your break, Xander?" She questions. 

"Just did a lot of relaxing. A bit of exploring and archeology... plus the whole paper and building a home thing, but you already knew that. What about you?" 

"Ah... some volcanic archeology with Mrs. Fennel. But... you already knew that as well." The girl admits. 

"Any new pokemon?" I ask. 

"I managed to catch a Litwick. But at the moment I'm saving up to buy a Larvesta from a breeder." 

"Ah." I hum. "Speaking of Larvesta, you know that red powder from inside that crypt?" 

"Yeah?" The girl questions.  

"Cynthia got back to me on that finally after I remembered it and asked about it. It was apparently was some form of blaze powder, it regained heat on contact with oxygen." 

"Oh? Well. Now a have a goal for my future Volcarona, I suppose." The corners of her mouth turn upwards. "What about you? Did you get any new pokemon over the summer?" 

"About a week ago I hatched a new pokemon." I admit. "It was a... magikarp..." 

"Magikarp?" The girl echoes. 

"I dug long and hard for it." I smirk with a small shrug. 

"You-" She pauses, eyes widening slightly. "Oh... I see." 

I purchased a little information from my system on the locations where I might find fossils for 'Medikarp'. 

Turns out... I was sitting on one such location. 

It appears the island I live on was underwater in the past, but tectonic shift resulted in it being slowly risen above the water-line. 

After a little digging, I managed to locate a fossil for the primal fish. 

I'm lucky in a way. 

I remember Fennel talking about how all fossil pokemon are rock type due to the fossilization of their DNA. 

Primeval-Karp is a Water-Dragon type.  

Thus, I shouldn't be able to use fossilization as an excuse, right? 

As it turns out, there was a rare case where fossil pokemon are created without the rock type... it was an Aerodactyl, actually. 

It was pure flying type. 

I just have to pretend that my pokemon is a statistical anomaly... 

And the ones swimming around in my lagoon don't exist. 

Honestly, a lot of them have disappeared, seemingly going into the deep sea.  

Considering what I've been breeding into them? They'll be fine! 

Hopefully they swim far enough away and someone else catches one. That'll get a lot of heat off my case. 

Anyways, now that I'm seeing some results with magic... it's about time I show off my other team members. 

I quickly drafted up a dossier for Merlin so I can use him in battles. 

"I'm probably going to start using Merlin in battles this year." I admit quietly. 

"Oh? What changed?" She questions. 

"I have a secure island home now." I answer. "One that's well hidden that I can more or less teleport to at a moment's notice?" 

"That's fair." She shrugs. 

"I'm also learning how to protect myself." 

"Oh?" She hums. "You're learning martial arts?" 

"Somewhat." I nod once. 

Technically speaking... the trainings of kamar taj could be seen as martial arts, so my statement wasn't incorrect. 

"Think anything interesting will happen this year?" I ask quietly. 

"On the level of us entering some sort of ancient tomb with a pokemon champion?" 

"Yeah." I nod once. 

"No clue." The girl shakes her head. 

~~Linebreak~~

"Now both trainers, please release your pokemon. 

The pink haired girl in front of me raises two pokeballs, "Go. Drilly! Bonny!" 

A large Drilbur appears on the field, quickly followed by a bipedal bulldog. 

"Loki. Merlin." 

With a flash, two pokemon appear on the field. 

There's hushed muttering immediately. 

"H-Huh?" The girl blinks, staring blankly at my Lotad. 

"Vee-Eevee-veeve-veve." Loki Prances around in a circle, leaping up and over the Lotad. 

"Alright, this is the first time you've fought like this, Merlin, so take it a bit easy." 

"Loootad." He replies. 

"May we start now?" I question, glancing towards the teacher. 

"B-Begin!" 

"Drilbur! Dig-" 

"Portal him up into the sky... forty feet should do it." I call out. 

The mole pokemon leaps up and dives towards the ground. 

An orange ring of sparks appears. 

He disappears into it, much to the shock of its trainer and partner pokemon. 

"H-HUH?!" 

"G-Gran-?!" 

"Loki. Tried and true." 

"DRILBUUUUUUR-" the mole cries as it falls from a great height. 

CRASH 

It smashes into the ground, bouncing once as it lays there for a moment. 

Loki shoots from a nearby shadow and smashes into the stomach of the Granbull like a cannonball, spittle leaving its mouth  

"G-Granbull! Fire Punch!" The girl calls out. "Drilbur! Get up! You can do it!" 

The fairy type- not that anyone knows that yet- hunches forwards, feet carving two little lines on the field. It clenches its fist, as fire flickers around the appendage. 

It lets out a roar as it punches forwards  

"Catch it with shadow claw." 

A floating hand- much like a haunter- appears beside Loki, lunging forwards and capturing the fist and stopping the attack cold. 

A menacing glint appears in Loki's eye as numerous other spectral hands appear, the claws clenching into fists. 

The ghost type energy rushes forwards, repeatedly jabbing the face and torso of Granbull, riddling him with crushing blows. 

The Drilbur slowly sits up, shaking its head. 

"Loop him, Merlin." I call out. 

"Drill-" the floor under the mole disappears again. 

"Bur?!" Another portal appears above the first. 

"ur- ur- ur-" he quickly picks up speed, falling in a loop. 

"Use him as a projectile." 

The top portal disappears as another appears to the side of the bulldog pokemon. 

The Drilbur is shot through the new portal at great speeds, slamming into the bulldog and knocking them both flat. 

All is quiet for a moment as the pokemon twitch and struggle. 

"Vee-vee?" Loki slowly conjures more punching hands, seemingly just begging them to get up. 

"Drilbur and Granbull are unable to battle. Xander is the winner!" Our teacher declares. 

I recall my pokemon, quickly returning to my seat towards the side of the ring. 

Well. 

This is annoying. 

Other years have battle classes early... that more or less means I can't leave after I'm finished and I've got to stick around. 

"Where'd you get him?!" A voice questions.  

"Outside." I reply. 

"Wh- Hey! Come on! Tell us! Don't be like that!"  

"No. I'm being serious... he literally just appeared in front of me via portal. I have zero idea where he came from." I frown, giving the people now crowding me a cold stare. 

"Why are you so cold, Xander?" One of the boys question. 

"Last year. March eighteenth. 'Xander, you're looking down on me with that worthless Eevee of yours'." My eyes slowly stray to the side. "You. January Ninteenth. 'You'd be a worthless trainer without your pokemon'." 

"April third. December first. October thirteenth. We're not friends. You turning around and sucking up to me is rather pathetic." 

"Petty dick." I hear one grumble as they walk away. 

~~Linebreak~~

"Hello Tia!" I smile brightly towards the large fish swimming around the pond, a large paper sack in hand. 

I watch a sail slowly break the water, a small smile on my face. 

A head pokes up out of the water, gazing at me with a slow blink. 

"Hey, girl!" I wave before reaching down and gently rubbing the fish's head. "I've got a present for you!" 

I open the bag and bring out a large fillet, tossing it upwards. "Some Veluza fillets just for you!" 

With a shockingly powerful movement of its tail it shoots upwards, tooth-filled jaw that wouldn't look out of place on a shark snatching the fish piece out of the air. 

I toss another one as Tia begins to fall downwards, she is finished eating the first fillet by the time she touches the water. 

The second piece of fish lands shortly after her, at which point she zooms over and disappears beneath the water's surface. 

This... is Tiamat. As close to a perfect specimen that I could have gotten with such a small set up. 

My saving grace was the short gestation time for magikarp eggs. 

I've only managed to make a couple 'Medikarps' like Tia here. 

Regardless. They're still Magikarp, so they've reached maturity quite quickly. 

That lagoon of mine was sort of like a perfect little home for them to grow a bit. 

I released the first medikarp out there like... 

four months ago? 

Ish? 

I toss two more pieces of fish upwards. They disappear under the water's surface moments later with quiet splashes. 

Now... I am merely waiting to capture Tia here. 

I lazily swing the bag outwards, allowing the remaining fillets to sling out and splash into the water. 

I take a seat beside the little pond, a small smile on my face. 

I watch the white and pink striped flesh slowly disappear as the red figure bobs above and below the surface of the water. 

After around a minute, eventually the large red figure swims close, dragging itself out of the water with its fins and staying right beside me. 

I reach out and gently run my hand down the fish' back. 

"Boss." A voice speaks up suddenly. 

I glance upwards. "Yeah, Jarvis?" 

Champion Cynthia is calling you. 

"Ah. Accept the call. I'll be right there." I call out. 

I look over the fish, giving it a gentle frill-rub, then slowly nudge it back in the water. "I'll be back in just a moment, Tia." 

"Grrn-Blublbublub" The fish replies, mouth sinking below the waterline and voice becoming nothing more than an assorted jumble of bubbles. 

I quickly stand up and rush out of the room, eventually coming to a stop in my living room. Wiping off my hands with a nearby towel. 

"Xander? Are you there?" 

"Sorry." I call out as I quickly step in front of my Tv, taking a seat on the couch. "I had my rotom accept the call while I was in the other room. So, what do you need?" 

"A while back you told me about some statues on an island? Something about a pirate... or something?" The woman begins. 

"Mhm?" I nod slowly. 

"Well, I was wondering if you were available to show me it today? If you have time, of course! I wouldn't want to bother you if you were busy." She begins rambling. 

"No. It's fine, we can do it today, I guess." I shrug. 

"Wonderful!" The woman beams. "So, where shall I pick you up?" 

"I was rather thinking that I pick you up." 

"Pardon?" The woman blinks. 

"Merlin!" I call out. 

The Lotad floats into view. 

"Cynthia, can you sort of move around your phone a bit, just so he can take in your surroundings? He's going to open a portal right to you... and when he does, You'll have to jump right through. I don't know how long he can keep it open." 

"P-Portal? Oh!" The woman exclaims suddenly. "One second! I need to grab my things."  

I watch her begin quickly rushing around her surroundings. What appears to be a simple hotel room. 

Well. I'll be having a guest soon. 

"Merlin. Once she gets ready... take her to the ship. I'll be out in a jiffy." 

"Yes." 

I stand up and walk away. 

Maybe I could let Cynthia take the fall for the Medikarp discovery. 

First... 

I need to go around the house and hide some things!