I Lost My D*ck as a Starship Trooper! (Patreon)

Trigger #2956: Project Artemis

Organization Class: A top secret branch of the Coalition of Deep Space (CODS) military established in the year 2557. Named after the Greek Goddess of the hunt, more specifically a reference to the story of Siproites, a hunter who accidentally saw her bathing naked, and was turned into a woman as "no man could see her naked and live." Dedicated to engineering the perfect soldier to fight the Piety, a puritanical alien threat. Making the perfect soldier just so happens to involve changing men into women...

Transformation Type: TG

Subjects: Captain Jane Vermelho, 24, formerly known as Cpt. John Vermelho, Leader of Red Fox Squadron.

From the personal diary for Cpt. Vermelho...

June 22, 2567

New orders came in from high command. Apparently my stunt last week pulling Private Jenkins's fat out of the fire (you're welcome by the way, you fracking moron) impressed someone, so I'm being promoted. They're sending my to a top secret military station orbiting SWEEPS-04. It's depressing to think it'll be the closest to Earth I've been in four years. Anyways, apparently my physical and psychological profile made me eligible for their so called "Super Soldier" project. It was named after some Greek goddess or another (pretentious, much?). Honestly, not looking forward to it. I don't want to be turned into some roided out jock. But, hey, we all gotta make sacrifices in war time, don't we?

July 18, 2567

Today's the day. After almost a month of hopping ships, running tests, and getting needles stuck in me like a goddamn pin cushion, it's time for me to go into surgery. They're basically gonna split me open right up the middle and fill me with so many cybernetics and kinetic gels and metamuscles and microchips the Piety won't know what hit them. It was all in this 500 page manual they gave me, but I didn't have the time or patience to read any of it.

So yeah, I'm going in under the knife in about two hours now. Because they need me conscious to sync the cybernetics, I won't be put to sleep. They're just gonna pump me so full of pain meds I won't know I've got a scalpel in my brain. Yayyyyy.

In case I don't make it, Jenkins, this is all your fracking fault, so you better delete my internet history before Naval Intelligence gets a hold of it.

July 20, 2567

ARE. YOU. FRACKING. KIDDING ME?!?!?

I know my Dad said the Space Corps would take me for everything I'm worth, but I didn't think they'd take my fracking DICK away!!!

FRACKING EGGHEADS!

Okay, let me start from the beginning.

So they stripped me down to my skivvies, sprayed me down with some weird foamy shit, zapped all the hair below my eyebrows off me from head to toe, then sprayed me again. Then after I'm dried, they lay me down on the operating table and pump me so full of feel good juice I thought I was in another GALAXY. But even with all my pain inhibitors clocked out, I could still feel it when they got started.

They opened up my chest first. Fair enough, I thought, makes sense, they're probably gonna put some new muscles in there, maybe a chest laser or something. Instead, they started rearranging all my bones! Shrinking my ribs, my shoulders, my waist. I still didn't understand what they were doing. I thought it was weird to make the perfect super soldier thinner, but hey, maybe there's some kind of tactical advantage I hadn't considered? They replaced all my muscles with synthetic tendons, and I'd expected them to stop there. Instead, they pulled out the two devices surrounded by the biggest, roundest globs of kinetic gel I'd ever seen in my LIFE! When they grafted them to my chest and sealed it all up with 2nd Skin, I finally figured out what they were.

They were TITS!

BOOBS!
BREASTS!

MOMMY MILKERS!!!

The COD Military, in their INFINITE WISDOM, decided that the perfect soldier needed an equally perfect set of knockers. You can barely run with them without a bra on, but HEY, MAYBE THEY'LL DISTRACT THE ENEMY, RIGHT?!

It was all downhill from there. They sculpted my face like clay into something more "aerodynamic". They made my eyelashes all long and curly "to keep the sun out of my eyes and improve aim." They made my eyes all big and girly to "improve my eyesight and increase my color perception and peripheral vision." They made my face "aesthetically pleasing" to add a "7.8% delay" to enemy reaction time due to "sexual attraction," EVEN THOUGH OUR ENEMIES DON'T HAVE SEX!!!

What'd they do next? Oh, yeah, my ASS! They pulled my hips out like taffy, then they filled my pelvis up with so much kinetic gel it felt like I was sitting on two bean bag chairs. My arms and legs were simple enough, cybernetics grafted onto the bones for improved strength and dexterity, but they sure don't look like the arms and legs of a super soldier. They look like a goddamn supermodel's!

But last but not least, the most baffling, infuriating, confusing thing they did was...

Look, I don't want to go into too much detail, but they PUSHED IT INSIDE OUT! And then they put these gross alien looking things in my pelvis. I think they were ovaries? WHY THE FUCK DID I NEED OVARIES TO SHOOT ALIENS YOU ASK?!

"The Piety attacks have been having a negative impact on the human population. We're going to need to increase sexual reproduction however we can after the war."

After I came to a few days later, I was FURIOUS. Almost threw some poor orderly through a window. I didn't realize how strong I was now. (Sorry about that, Gerald.) And these eggheads had the NERVE to say "your psychological profile suggested you would be more comfortable in a female body. Didn't you read the manual?"

OF COURSE I DIDN'T READ MANUAL! NO ONE READS THE MANUAL!!!

So here I am, sitting in my bunk, trying to write this entry when I can barely see past these damn torpedoes stuck to my chest.

Although... I'd be lying if I didn't say I enjoyed how they jiggled a bit when I walk... and how they really complement this ass when I look in the mirror...

...

Shit, maybe those eggheads weren't too far off...

Not looking forward to when they ship me back to my squad next month, though. Those dumb horny rookies are gonna be all over me, aren't they...?

Well, at least I'll finally be able to get them to stand at attention one way or another...

- Captain Jane Vermelho, Red Fox Squadron

From the desk of

Mira Alcott

Head-Mistress of Transformations

(Special thanks to Wyvernstrafe for the request that inspired this piece, to my Test Readers, and to all of you for your support!)