I don't like to draw. (Patreon)

I am desperate.

I've been struggling for months, if not the last few years, to keep up with drawing things. But it's getting harder and harder. I've been trying twice as hard and I can't even come close to what I was capable of. And the more time goes by, I lose skill, I lose the ability to understand how to do things, I lose speed and energy and it's getting harder and harder to work. It is very frustrating.

I don't know how to draw. And when I see how there are people who can draw with ease, it makes me very sad. Also when I see how someone starts and can understand what to do and I, despite so many years trying, I find it very frustrating. What have I learned in all this time? Absolutely NOTHING.

The saddest part of this is that I am going to fail you. You who have supported me all this time, you who expect to see more of my work. 

I don't know what to do. A part of me is screaming at me that I must go on and do my work; while another part of me is desperately telling that I can't do it anymore.

I am having a very hard time. I absolutely hate myself for not learning how to draw. I can't handle this