What's That Sound? It's Your 7/22 Patreon Newscast! (Patreon)

That's right, as promised, your weekly Patreon Newscast! Enjoy it at the park! At the pool! At your custody hearing! Anywhere your little hearts desire!

What's that? You prefer video with your news? Don't fret! The video version of the news is coming as soon as Premiere stops being actively on fire. Until then, enjoy!

4:55 - Ajit Pai’s new gift to cable companies would kill local fees and rules

6:43 - FCC gives ISPs another $563 million to build rural-broadband networks

7:49 - The FTC looks to change children’s privacy law following complaints about YouTube

10:17 - Trump says seriously looking into Amazon's JEDI Pentagon contract

11:23 - US may bar big tech firms like Facebook from offering financial services, digital currencies

12:56 - The FBI plans more social media surveillance

14:56 - FaceApp: Chuck Schumer asks for FBI investigation

16:54 - Oakland Becomes Third U.S. City to Ban Facial Recognition

17:49 - Orlando police ditch Amazon’s facial recognition platform a second time

19:34 - Data Broker LocationSmart Will Fight Class Action Lawsuit Over Selling AT&T Data

21:09 - Facebook Area 51 Storming May Be Countered With Force, Says Air Force

23:26 - DEA tracked every opioid pill sold in the US. The data is out—and it’s horrific

26:03 - The U.S. Army Is Working on 3D Printed Body Armor

28:22 - US Navy is developing ‘supersonic submarine’ inside a bubble

32:05 - EU opens Amazon antitrust investigation

33:39 - Qualcomm Is Fined Again by European Regulators for Antitrust Behavior

35:38 - Galileo GPS service is back, as Europe looks at what went wrong

37:00 - Japan to lead development of SWIFT network for cryptocurrency

39:08 - Google's Project Dragonfly 'terminated' in China

39:54 - China’s Tech Giants Have a Second Job: Helping Beijing Spy on Its People

42:02 - Russian lawmakers propose making local software mandatory on smartphones

44:20 - Kazakhstan government is now intercepting all HTTPS traffic

45:54 - Watch ISRO’s historic Chandrayaan-2 Moon mission rocket launch live

47:24 - Israel spyware firm can mine data from social media

51:20 - We Tested 5G Across America. It’s Crazy Fast—and a Hot Mess

52:26 - Microsoft's Q4 earnings and 2020 expectations are through the roof

54:27 - Netflix Stock Tumbles On Second-Quarter Results

56:45 - Elon Musk unveils Neuralink’s plans for brain-reading ‘threads’

59:50 - Netflix will roll out a lower-priced subscription plan in India

1:01:29 - Uber glitch charges passengers 100 times the advertised price, resulting in crosstown fares in the thousands of dollars

1:02:42 - Huawei says Hongmeng OS isn't designed as an Android replacement

1:04:03 - Facebook has not contacted Switzerland regulator on Libra data protection

1:04:50 - The new 2019 MacBook Air features a slower SSD than 2018 model

1:07:02 - Apple is planning to buy up original podcasts with exclusivity in mind

1:08:38 - SanDisk 1TB microSD card review: Insane storage in a fingernail size

1:10:26 - CES will allow sex toys at next year’s show

1:13:42 - Google and Facebook might be tracking your porn history, researchers warn

1:15:04 - Bulgaria's hacked database is now available on hacking forums

1:16:15 - Bluetooth exploit can track and identify iOS, Microsoft mobile device users

1:17:31 - How WeChat censors private conversations, automatically in real time

1:19:45 - Logitech wireless USB dongles vulnerable to new hijacking flaws

1:20:47 - Chrome 76 prevents NYT and other news sites from detecting Incognito Mode

1:22:52 - YouTube: 'We don't take you down the rabbit hole'

1:25:36 - 'It's demotivating for me': Influencers and agencies react to Instagram hiding 'likes'

1:27:46 - Behold, the most (intentionally) poorly designed website ever created

1:30:19 - Researchers Easily Trick Cylance's AI-Based Antivirus Into Thinking Malware Is 'Goodware'

1:32:37 - London Metropolitan Police's Facial Recognition System Is Now Only Misidentifying People 81% Of The Time

1:34:09 - Pedestrian collision puts Vienna’s driverless bus trial on hold

1:35:22 - NASA backs demo that will 3D-print spacecraft parts in orbit

1:37:38 - Remote-controlled Salmon Farms to Operate Off Norway by 2020

1:39:57 - Swarm Robots Mimic Ant Jaws to Flip and Jump

1:41:56 - The flamethrower drone will soon be a thing you can buy

1:44:23 - Your Netflix and Porn Addictions are Contributing to Global Warming

1:45:53 - Area 51: Bud Light is offering free beer to any aliens that make it out

1:48:01 - Michigan pool pooper caught on camera, banned for summer

1:52:20 - T-Mobile and Taco Bell's new T-MoBell stores serve 'smartphones with a side of tacos'

1:53:15 - Pennsylvania man charged after photographing himself with cats on his genitals

1:55:54 - Chinese space station Tiangong-2 is about to fall from space

1:57:25 - Apparent arson attack devastates Kyoto Animation anime studio with dozens confirmed dead

1:59:35 - Amazon Accidentally Sold $13,000+ Camera Gear for $100 on Prime Day

2:02:02 - ‘Space Invaders’: ‘Mortal Kombat’ Scribe Greg Russo To Write Sci-Fi Film

2:03:51 - House orders Pentagon to say if it weaponized ticks and released them

2:06:15 - City hopes 'Baby Shark' song will drive homeless away