The Grass is Always Greener - Chapter 1 (Patreon)

The Grass is Always Greener

Chapter 1 - Bending Over Backwards

[January 18th, 2010]

Matt Richards pressed the “play” button several times, groaning in displeasure at the phone screen’s lack of responsiveness. After several increasingly harder taps and a growing frustration, the play button finally flashed.

He marched quickly back to the other side of his cage, his bare feet scuffing noisily against the plush, velvet-like fabric lining of his cage.  It was a rich, blue material that had been repurposed into an area rug from a long-since retired article of clothing.  Matt often wondered bitterly how many times Kelli had worn it before handing it down to him…and he also wondered if it had been washed first. It was a gesture of kindness probably, but using the material from one of her old shirts as a literal area rug only reminded him of how small and helpless he’d become.

He took a seat on his cozy couch, fashioned by Kelli out of an old matchbox, and propped his feet on his most recently acquired furniture item: an ottoman.

Kelli had taken the lid to her perfume bottle and glued a tiny padded cushion of smooth, emerald green felt to the top.  It made a decent footrest, but the bottom of the lid smelled like Kelli’s perfume…and the last thing Matt wanted to do on his precious ‘time off’ was smell even a hint of something that reminded him of Kelli.

His blonde captor didn’t stop at the basics though. The furnishings of his cage continued in the form of miniature LED light strings running across the top that he could control with the flip of a mini-switch.  Matt never turned them on.

There was also a set of q-tips with varying quantities of glue affixed to the ends on either side.  Kelli had meticulously weighed them, comparing them to Matt’s relative size to confirm the makeshift white barbells covered a wide enough range of weights for weight training.  Matt never so much as lifted one of them.

What he did use often was the cell phone that Kelli had staged in his cage for watching movies and television.  Matt also made full use of the never-ending supply of snacks and sodas, delivered in the form of manageably sized crumbs for the snacks and tiny cap-fulls for the soda. Until they got stale and flat, of course.  If Kelli wasn’t quick enough to replace them, she’d find them scattered on the floor of her bedroom.

Matt had just finished up the first season of Breaking Bad and he was eager to start the next season.  Who the hell ends a season like that?!  Matt was very interested in starting the next season, his mind spinning with the possible repercussions of Walt and Jesse’s alliance with Tuco Salamanca.  He was a psychopath for sure, but Matt couldn’t help but think that he had it worse than they did .  Still, their precarious situation was interesting.  He had all the time in the world, of course, alone here in Kelli’s room, to theorize about what would happen and all the time in the world to binge watch on his makeshift theater screen. It was an older, hand-me-down phone with a small but distracting crack in the bottom left corner. It took all of his strength and several failed attempts to rotate the phone 180 degrees, but he couldn’t stand the crack being in the bottom left. He’d told Kelli that several times but did she listen?  Of course not.

Matt took a few moments to catch his breath as he propped his feet up on the green-topped ottoman, having successfully reoriented the phone so that the crack was in the top right corner and sat back down to celebrate with the start of his binge watch.

That was when Matt saw what no shrunken man bound to a cage under the guardianship of a ditzy teenager ever wanted to ever see.

“What the hell?!” Matt groaned.  “The wi-fi’s down…again!”

Matt sighed in exasperation.

He’d seen her park her fat ass in her computer chair before leaving for class to print out her homework and check her emails but did she bother to check on her faulty router to make sure all the lights were on?  No, of course she didn’t.

“This is seriously such bullshit.” Matt complained, scraping his back off the sanctuary of his couch and drug his feet toward his movie-theater sized screen.

Kelli had only left an hour ago and if she was doing her dumb volleyball practice after classes, the annoying teenager probably wouldn’t be back to fix her stupid mistake until after the sun went down.

With a shred of optimism, Matt strained to pull the soft rubber plug away from the external memory slot of the phone.  If he couldn’t binge-watch the next season of his favorite show, maybe there was a half-tolerable movie saved on external media.

He couldn’t help but laugh at his bad luck as he plunged his full hand into the empty micro SD slot.

No external media.

In a bitter last ditch effort, Matt navigated through the menu of the giant phone screen. It was a tiny phone–not ‘two-inch tall’ tiny like he was, mind you. It was ‘barely any storage space’ tiny.

Like most things that he used, the phone once belonged to Kelli–replaced by something much bigger and much better. Why couldn’t she have left THAT phone in here with him and taken this hunk of junk with her? The hell did she even do on it anyway?  Scroll through Instagram? Take pictures of her food?

The old, cracked Android phone’s laughable storage space wasn’t really a problem when the wifi was good but seeing as scatter-brained Kelli just couldn't find it within herself to replace the router and stop ruining his life, Matt had to just hope that there was at least something on there he could watch.

Matt stared with his jaw open.  If he wasn’t so upset, he might have laughed.

“Erin Brockovich? Are you freaking serious, Kelli?”

Matt pouted back toward his couch, clenching his fists in anger as he took a seat, lamenting the loss of his evening.  So much for good quality programming.

It felt like it had been a million years since Matt was his normal size.  He’d completed Reduction Therapy and was assigned to Kelli for the duration of the experiment, pending her decision to keep him.  Matt didn’t fully understand what that would entail until it was far too late–until he was being held by that big-titted brunette doctor with the black thick-framed glasses, dangled overtop of Kelli’s huge bare ass and then lowered in.  That was over a week ago, but it felt so much longer.

* * * * * * * * *

Hours later and halfway into his 6th viewing of Julia Roberts, Matt heard the sound of a door opening down on the first floor.

It definitely wasn’t Kelly’s roommate; the cow of a girl practically broke the steps with each heavy step. The steps he heard now were barely audible.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs was quiet and graceful.

It was Kelli for sure…

Matt felt his blood beginning to boil.  He’d be giving her a HUGE piece of his mind.

Matt could feel the draft of displaced air from the swinging door.

“I’m hooooooome!” Kelli announced with pep as she opened the door.

“Hi Matthew! You’ll never guess what happened today!”” Kelli chirped, bouncing like an excited rabbit over to her bed. Her heavy purple backpack bounced as it hit the neatly-made bed and Kelly plopped down right next to it, her sandy sneakers landing with two clunky thuds at the foot of her bed.

Kelli looked up, probably to see if Matthew was venturing a guess.

He most certainly was not.

“I got an A on my Calc 2 final exam!  Yay!” Kelli exclaimed, wrapping her arms around herself in a big hug.  “I only missed one problem on integrating log functions, but who the heck really cares about log functions, right? If the problem was multiple choice I probably…”

‘Was this girl seriously just blabbering like this all on her own?’ Matt thought as the excited blonde teenager’s words turned to annoying fuzz in his ears. “This had to be some kind of frickin joke. Could she not tell how angry he was with her?’ Kelli was standing up now, continuing to dress down as she rambled on about the test. She peeled the socks off her feet and slid out of her tight navy-blue shorts.

The first time she’d done this, Matt couldn’t help but stare at her exposed body. He’d masturbated furiously to the thick, athletic body of his wardeness that night despite the gravity of his situation.  Those conflicting feelings of desire had long since subsided, replaced by a joyless, far-less complicated disdain for the bubbly blonde disrobing before him.  To Matt, it felt almost disrespectful now…the idea of a pretty girl like her mindlessly showing off her skin to him as if he wasn’t a threat.  As if he wasn’t a human.

“...and then I asked Casey what she got and she got the same answer as me!  We both started laughing, it was so funny! So I didn’t feel so bad since we both–”

“Where the hell have you been?”

Kelli’s beautiful, bright smile slowly dimmed and her twitching brow wrinkled.

“Umm….I told you I had volleyball practice..” Kelli said, her tone noticeably less bubbly and a little defensive. “And then Casey and Holly and I went to get ice cream sandwiches.”

“Well, I’m glad you had fun..” Matt said, his tiny voice dripping with passive-aggression.

At 5’-6”, Kelli was literally 33 times larger than Matt, but that didn’t matter.  Her shoulders, proudly drawn back in confidence and victory moments ago, were now sinking and hunching  forward as if she were in trouble with a strict parent.

“...why?” Kelli asked quietly.  “...what’s wrong?

“The wifi router is down again.”

Matt would have been lying if he said he didn’t get some satisfaction out of seeing the blonde college girl’s mood drop.

Good.

She needed to be punished for what she put him through, and he was going to punish her the only way he could: with guilt.

“Oh, no.” Kelli said, her eyes scrunching up, as if she were trying to activate some dormant fold of the human mind that just might be capable of time travel–the only way she could have fixed this.  “I’m so sorry.”

“What am I supposed to do with ‘sorry’?” Matt asked.

Apologies didn’t mean shit to him.

“I haven’t had shit to watch all day…oh wait..excuse me.  I had Erin Brockovich…even worse than nothing.”

“Oh, crap…I”m sorry Michael.  Were the SD card movies bad?  I can put some new ones on there for you.”

“No…” Matt said, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down.  “...you basically double-screwed up because not only did you fail to fix the router, but you didn’t put the micro-SD card thing in the slot.”

Kelli’s blue eyes widened.  “I did put it in! I did!”

“Uhhh…no you didn’t, Kelli.”

She didn’t seem to believe him, which Matt welcomed.  It would make him feel all the more vindicated when the dow-eyed teenager frowns at the empty port. For now, she looked almost excited at the thought of not being a complete failure to Matt as she hurriedly opened Matt’s cage.

Matt was furious with Kelli and he had practically no respect for her, but that didn’t change that instinctive urge to run and hide when her enormous body towered over him. She got close to his cage.  Very close.  So close that Matt could see the detail of her thin undershirt–the long, meandering wrinkles that hung loosely at her flat stomach making way to a stern and strict tightness stretching laboriously around her ample chest.

Matt swallowed dryly, his voice not quite as disrespectful as it was before now that she was looming over top of him, but he wasn’t worried.  She was acting just as sweetly stupid as ever.  While Kelli peered at the phone, Matt took the opportunity to peer down her shirt.  How the hell did she play volleyball with those things bouncing around?

More importantly, why the hell couldn’t this experiment have him confined between boob cleavage?  That actually wouldn’t be nearly as bad.

“I really did, I promise.” Kelli said, peeking in to look at the phone.  The scent of coconuts  washed over him and her thick blonde hair fell in cascading rivers pooling on the velvet-carpeted floor of his cage.

“So were you lying…”Matt asked as he stuck a whole hand into the SD port of the phone.  “...or are you stupid?”

He would have smiled in victory if there wasn’t the chance that Kelli might interpret it as lightheartedness.

Matt watched closely for the twitch of her forehead and smiled discretely to himself when he saw it.  It happened whenever Kelli was upset.  Matt hadn’t been with Kelli long but he’d found one of the most effective ways to upset her was to insult her intelligence.

The sadness in her eyes gave way to confusion as she tilted her head, looking at Matt’s tiny little hand moving around inside the empty port.

“Ummm…wait a minute…” Kelli said, gesturing toward Matt’s tiny hand in the phone port.  “...that’s the mini-USB port.”

Matt had spent nearly a half hour trying to rotate that damn phone over on its other side but with a simple flick of her wrist, Kelli was now flipping it back the way it was when she put it in Matt’s cage this morning.

‘Oh no…’ Matt thought.  ‘I’m not the one that’s wrong, am I?’

“See look!  It’s right here!” Kelli said excitedly, her voice containing not a modicum of ‘told-ya-so’ attitude or smugness. Her fingernail, decorated with chipped blue nail polish, was just long enough to press in the purple mini-SD card to pop it out and then push it back in. She was genuinely happy to see that she’d found it.

“It was there all along.” Kelli beamed.

Matt felt the blood rushing to his face.  He was embarrassed, which was making him even angrier.  And the fact that Kelli didn’t care about being right was pushing him over the top.  Here he was, trying to make her cry and she had already moved on, setting three huge, uncrushed Nacho Cheese Doritos in the corner of his cage as if nothing had happened.

“I’m feeling a little sweaty still.” Kelli said, rinsing out Matt’s water and replacing his half-empty cap with fresh, cold root beer.  “So I’m going to get a shower.”

Matt didn’t say thank you.  Matt didn’t say sorry.

Kelli waited for some sort of response but Matt didn’t say anything.  He simply accessed Season 2 of Breaking Bad and started watching, not looking away from the phone screen until Kelli had given up.  Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her saunter toward the bathroom.

Matt watched out of the corner of his eye as Kelli grabbed some clothing from her dresser and headed toward her bathroom, undressing closer to full nudity along the way.  It was now the phone screen that was fighting a losing battle for his attention as he watched the little indents on her lower back dance with each step.  They were called “Dimples of Venus” and he had to admit they looked good on Kelli.

Honestly, he had to admit that everything looked good on Kelli.  The girl was a certifiable knockout that he’d have been tripping over himself to approach back in his college days.  Even as an older man, he probably could have kept her interest, what with all his life experience and career prospects.  Instead, he met her through this godforsaken, perverted experiment 9 days ago.

He’d been told the goal of the experiment was to document and better understand the physiological effect of various styles of dwelling units on long-term residents after extended periods of time.

Sounds straightforward enough, right?

Getting paid to live somewhere different.  What’s wrong with that?

What he didn’t realize until the dreadful day he met Kelli was that the ‘dwelling units’ in question were the butts of volunteering women.

Yes, that’s right.  Shrunken men living in women’s butts.

It was a surreal, complex moment for him as the big-breasted black haired doctor lowered him toward Kelli’s spread butt cheeks and wedged him between them.

“Okay Matthew.  Are you ready?”

Kelli’s hung in damp golden rivulets over her bare shoulders.  She wore a revealing camisole shirt and the conservative cut of her panties did nothing to dull down her appearance or make her butt look any less huge.

Matt looks up at her. “You can’t be serious.”

Kelli sighed.

He’d never once made this easy on her…why the hell would he start now?

“You leave me here by myself all day with nothing to watch…with flat soda…and barely anything to eat…”  Matt said, counting off on his fingers.  “...and now you expect me to say ‘Sure thing, Kelli!  I’m ready for you to put me in your ass!’”

“I mean…” Kelli started. “You don’t have to be EXCITED about it.”  Kelli tossed her left leg up onto her bed and took a seat atop her bare foot. Kelli’s thigh and calf pressed against one another, her athleticism apparent by the size of the toned legs as well as the shadowy dent in her calf created by the displaced flesh. They were so clearly muscular and yet they still looked so soft.

“I wouldn’t say that I’M excited about it either.  But it’s a really easy way for us to make some extra money, right?”

The audacity of this girl was astounding.

“Easy?! Really easy for you to say! You’re not the one that has to get wedged between a set of fat, smelly ass cheeks for hours on end.”

“Smelly?” Kelli asked.

With the heartbroken look on her face, you’d have thought someone ran over her dog and then that person informed her that there was no such thing as Santa Claus.  “I…I get two showers a day now, Matthew.  I shower right before we start every time and I clean…like…really thoroughly.”

“Kelli…” Matt said with a frustrated, aggressive chuckle of incredulity, “I don’t care how many times you wash your ass.  You are DELUSIONAL if you think that’s going to make me any more okay with being wedged between your fat, disgusting ass cheeks.”

Kelli looked like she was about to cry.

“We can’t miss any more days,” Kelli said. “The lab called me yesterday and told me that I was on Participant probation for not meeting the hourly minimums every day. We have to meet the DDM or they’ll stop paying us.”

Ah yes…the DDM.

The Dynamic Daily Minimum.

The stupid metric of ‘rear-confinement’ that Kelli went on and on and on about.

Since not a single one of the morally bankrupt women at RR Labs had explained the concept of DDM to Matt, it was Kelli who took the time to explain in detail not only the requirements but also her thought process behind meeting the hourly goal of rear-confinement, which was set at an unbelievable 6 hours a day…a quarter of his daily life was supposed to be spent in a butt.

Kelli humble-bragged about how considerate it was that she had given him all these details and plans, but Matt thought of it as akin to a motorist’s consideration in deciding not to run over pedestrians or bank employees’ consideration not to rob their establishment.  You could call it ‘being considerate’ but really they’re just doing the bare minimum.

The requirements of this twisted experiment called for Kelli to keep Matt wedged deep in her butt crack for a certain number of hours a day.  Matt thought that 6 hours a day was insane, but apparently that was one of the lowest tiers. Kelli had selected the lowest paid commitment tier, again, humble-bragging that she didn’t want him to have to spend TOO much time in her butt.  As if 6 hours wasn’t TOO much time!

“I don’t care if we miss more days.  Let’s miss ALL the days!” Matt said vehemently. “I keep telling you to take me back but you won’t freaking listen to me.”

“I’m sorry, Matthew.  I…I’ll try to find some ways to make it easier for you, but for now…we’ve really gotta get started.” Kelli said, reaching gently into the cage and tenderly wrapping her fingers around Matt.  He struggled and squirmed in her soft grip, trying with all his might to evade but even the strength of just one of her digits exceeded him by several times.

“It’s already 8PM.  At this rate, we’re only gonna be able to get 4 hours in before midnight…which still isn’t even enough.” Kelli said.

“Good…I hope you get in trouble and they make you give me back.” Matt said stubbornly.

Kelli sighed. “Do you want to take your clothes off?  So they don’t smell afterwards?”

Matt remained silent.  He didn’t want to allow her to do anything nice for him.  He didn’t want her to feel any less bad about what she was about to do to him.

“Okay..I’ve got a lot of reading assignments so I’ll take care of them while you’re tucked away.”

Kelli held Matt close to her chest as she settled down onto her comfy bed, lying down on her stomach next to her backpack.  She started to tell him about how much money was in his bank account.  That was something she did often whenever she was feeling guilty.  That, and of course reminding him that she was splitting her compensation with him.

“I don’t give a shit about the money.” Matt reminded Kelli.  “I want out of this ridiculous butt-living experiment

“I’m sorry, Matt.” Kelli said, lowering him down to her flat abdomen and slowly circling him around her narrow belly.  “We have to start now.”

Young, blemish-free skin soared past him as he circled her narrow belly to her lower back.  Her other hand was already there waiting for his arrival as if it was an attentive host, pulling away the elastic waistband of Kelli’s underwear to welcome him in. This was not the first, second, or even tenth time that he’d watched the tan skin of Kelli’s lower back abruptly transition to a creamy pale peach, contouring outward along her fleshy, snow-white globes that were just waiting for him.  Those cheeks never saw the sun; this much Matt could testify to for at least the times when he was trapped deep between them.

The deep, dividing crevice that separated her bubbly butt cheeks shifted like a slacked string as her voluminous cheeks rippled.

“I’ll be laying on my stomach the whole time, okay Matthew?” Kelli said as she lowered Matt.  He broke the plane of her underwear’s waistband.

He was in her panties now.  If only that were humiliating enough.

To her credit, Kelli hadn’t been exaggerating about how well she cleaned herself in the shower.  The resounding heat of her shower still clung desperately to her massive cheeks, naturally thick and warm themselves already. She lowered him delicately into the lacy compartment and the fragrance was that of coconuts and expensive moisturizing lotion.  Somehow it smelled even better here in Kelli’s panties than her bedroom but it didn’t mean that the experience was any less humiliating or emasculating for Matt.

Above his head, the hand that had held open the waistband was now rushing past Matt, eager to open yet another door, much heavier and much more dense, for the returning guest.  Intricate shadows painted on through the flowery, semi-transparent portions of Kelli’s underwear danced along the teenager’s hand as her fingers sank deep into the plush, cushiony flesh of her cheek.  She pulled the meaty bun away from its twin sister and traced little Matt down the intense slope of her lower back.  She was passing him down and into the space between her slightly parted cheeks as if he were a credit card.

There was, however, a difference here. The credit card hand typically maintains grip on the credit card during its full journey from the top of the reader to the bottom.  Kelli’s hand released its hold on Matt halfway through–once he was properly secured between her dense glutes and left him there.  The returning pressure of her young, tight cheeks told Matt that he was all alone in her crack, and the snap of her waistband told him that he was alone in her panties.

The scent of coconut was still strong in her crack, but so too was an unmistakable, earthy musk.

“Getting in bed now.” Kelli said, always giving Matt a play-by-play of what was to happen. Her large, cushiony cheeks jiggled within the confines of her panties, forcing Matt’s body to jiggle and wave along with the rippling flesh.  She sat on her foot for a moment, evident from the way her ample cheek deformed under the pressure of her heel and pushed forcefully into his body.

“Hmmm…” Kelli mumbled, carefully lying down on her stomach.

Matt felt her cheeks relent slightly, gently parting down the middle.  Gravity’s influence was enough to allow a fractional increase in airflow, albeit filtered heavily by the seat of her panties, but airflow nonetheless.  Her glutes bounced like dense jello in a deep serving bowl, still working out its steadily decaying wave of ripples even as the teenager had turned the first page of her first reading assignment.

“I think I’ll start with Handmaiden’s Tale. Where did we leave off? I can’t remember…oh, here we are!

Kelli cleared her throat, lifting herself up onto her elbows, sending more waves through the dual peach ocean under her panties.

“Ordinary, said Aunt Lydia, is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will.  It will become ordinary.”

Kelli would often read her assignments out loud whenever she thought that Matt might find them interesting or when she thought he might learn a lesson from them like she sometimes did.  He’d, in less nicer words, informed her that he wasn’t interested in listening but she carelessly dismissed it as Matt just being grumpy, attempting to cut his nose off to spite his face.

She wasn’t wrong, in all honesty.  But Kelli’s cheeks were so dense and pillowy–admittedly fantastic at insulating him from cold but also remarkably effective at muffling sound.  This time, like most times, he didn’t care.  The book sounded incredibly boring.

Matt squirmed around in Kelli’s humid crack, striving to remain as far away from the source of that sour musk as he possibly could as the teen continued to read out loud, the vibrations from her voice vibrating the muscle, fat and skin of her butt in a way that only a tiny person living inside of it could experience or detect.

The natural, bitter undertone inherent in her crack and probably everyone else’s–Matt couldn’t testify to anyone else’s ass but Kelli’s–was an unwelcome presence. It was becoming Matt’s roommate, gradually transitioning from a ghostly apparition to a tangible force in this temporary home between Kelli’s cheeks.  It had its foot in the door and it was squeezing its way into the fruity, fragrant crevice molecule by molecule.was but a droplet of dye in a swimming pool of clear water, and yet he knew that by the end of his stay in her rear this evening, that droplet of dye would be a lot more prominent.

Her cell phone rang–some annoying pop song from a girl with lips almost as pouty as hers.

“Hello?”

…

“No, it’s not too late! I don’t go to sleep until later. What can I do for you, doctor?”

Matt couldn’t hear too much of the conversation but he did manage to pick out a fair amount of talk about her own butt, which gave him a pretty good idea of who it was.

Kelli’s tone was apologetic and contained a hint of defensiveness.  She was probably defending his lack of ass time.  Matt hoped that she’d get disqualified, which would force her to have to give him back so that he could be restored.  He heard a few more mentions.

More talk about her butt.  A conversation about…vitamins?  That’s what it sounded like Kelli said. Whatever it was, she seemed vehemently against them. More talk about her butt.  Talk about him being mean to her. Ha!

The full conversation was probably about 10 minutes and as soon as it ended, Kelli was back to her reading assignments.

Hours passed by and Kelli barely moved her lower half.  At one point, she reached down to address a persistent itch on her left butt cheek.  Matt’s only conduit to the outside world in this state was interpreting the way Kelli’s butt cheeks responded to it.  In this particular case, Matt could hear the muffled but deafening friction of not one, not two, but three fingernails abrasively running up and down her left butt cheek.

Matt heard the slam of one book, followed by the slam of the next an hour later.  She was writing now.  He could tell by the way her right butt cheek gently bobbed along to the movement of her wrist and forearm.

After what felt like forever, Matt sighed in relief to hear the muddy, distant sound of Kelli’s bedtime alarm.  That means it was midnight.

That meant Matt had spent 4 hours trapped between Kelli’s fat butt cheeks.

That meant it was finally time to come out and watch TV.

He expected to hear the rustling of her dainty right hand enter the back of her panties and rescue him from the depths of this dark, souring crevice but it didn’t come.  He did, however, feel the pressure around him relenting greatly.

Kelli’s butt cheeks were parting, and not just the barely noticeable amount from when he tries to find the least uncomfortable position.  They were being pulled apart by something so much stronger and more capable than him: Kelli’s hands.

“Hey, Matthew.  You okay in there?”

Matt didn’t say anything, remaining in brooding silence until the clenched fingers holding the fleshy glutes apart started bouncing them.

“Oww! Stop!”

“Okay, sorry!  Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Kelli said, still holding her cheeks apart.

“Listen…I was thinking that…since we’ve been having such major problems with hitting the DDM, I think it might be best if we…umm…get a head start for tomorrow.”

‘Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me…’ Matt thought.

“You know..just in case something comes up like it has in the past.  Like Murphy’s Law, you know?” Kelli laughed.  “So…I was gonna sleep in tomorrow morning, but how about this…how about I wake up early. I’ll take you out of my butt at 6AM sharp, give you a nice little bath, and then you can watch TV and eat snacks all day without having to worry any more about the DDM.  Does that sound good?”

Matt sat in silence. How could he answer that?”

Kelli began jiggling her cheeks again, trying to elicit a response.

“I freaking heard you, you dimwit!” Matt squeaked from her deep crack.  “That does NOT sound good!  How about you take me back to the freaking lab so they can grow me back and I can get back to my own college stuff, huh?  What do you think about that?”

“I’m sorry, Matthew.  I’m really trying my best here.” Kelli sighed.

“No, you’re not.  If you were, you’d be try–mphhhhhhhhhh”

Her cheeks sealed around him, swallowing him up and abruptly ending the conversation on her last sentence.  The pressure became extreme when she rolled over onto her back and tucked her feet under the covers.

Her voice was even more muffled now, as her big pillowy butt cheeks squeezed in, cradling him tighter than he’d ever thought possible.  She was fiddling with her alarm clock now.  It paired up to her phone, which made no sense at all to Matt.  Why not just use your phone, you moron?

It would be a long night, and with no other choice, Matt tried to get comfortable.  He cursed RR Labs, he cursed the doctors and scientists.  He cursed himself for falling victim to a scheme way too good to be true.  But above all else, he cursed Kelli and her disgusting, fat ass.

She was snoring now.

Freaking fantastic.

~