D&D at Cabaret Bara - Chapter 3 - Corentin the Bard (NSFW) (Patreon)

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Chapter 3 - Corentin the Bard

A genuine laughter resonates from the doorway.

“Haha, I had a feeling I'd find you here, mon ami.” says the voice. “But I didn't think I'd get such a show. And here I thought I was the performer of our party.”

“Who are you?” replies Azad, unimpressed. “And what are you doing here?”

“And what party?” adds Finnigan.

Standing in the doorway, a handsome young man with pointy eyes and pastel-colored hair flashes his killer smile at you. His stunning good looks and his colorful style are unmistakable: he is the bard who was performing downstairs earlier, his lute now stowed on his backpack. And by the sparks of magenta fading from his outstretched right hand, it seems obvious to you that he’s also the one who just groped Azad with the “Mage Hand” cantrip.

The bard takes a step forward into the room and bows ostentatiously before answering:

“I am Corentin Archibald Milifiore Rimerick Arquevasque, actor, virtuoso, and adventurer extraordinaire. I am the much-admired, fey-blessed master of song, adept of the arcane art of illusion, and inexhaustible source of contagious joie-de-vivre. And on this most serendipitous moment, fortune smiles upon you, brave adventurers, for I am here to join your party!”

“Sorry, we’re full.” replies Azad dryly.

“We’re a party?” asks Finn. “And did he say he was contagious?”

“Can’t you see you’re interrupting us.” adds the rogue, growing irritated.

“I believe you interrupted yourself, non?“ replies Corentin with a smug grin. “And I hear you two are taking on a quest for the Golden King.” He winks at Finnigan. “You see… Word travels fast around here.”

“Well… At the ‘Scandalkeep Correspondence School for Heroes’, I did learn that bringing a magic user along on quests is a good idea.” concedes the fighter. “Maybe you should come with me. We can always split the 20 000 crowns.”

“TWENTY THOUSAND?” gasps Azad. “Well, surely, you’ll also need someone with my talents as well.”

“Talents? What talents?” asks the bard with a teasing smirk.

“Oh! He’s pretty discreet. He almost made it into my room without me noticing.” replies the fighter. “And he’s good with his hands too, he almost made me-”

“Sounds like an almost rogue to me.” concludes Corentin.

***

FIROUZ: It was just two bad rolls! Ugh! I’m gonna swap my d20.

DIEGO: Aww come on, Roo, fumbles are fun!

FINN: Yeah! And it doesn’t matter what the dice say, you can come along on the quest if you want.

FIROUZ: I can come along? Bitch, I am supposed to come along! We’re setting up the party.

FINN: Hey now! A positive attitude changes everything!

FIROUZ: Oh yeah? You learned that at your hero correspondence school?

BEN: Guys! Let’s focus, please, we still have two more players-

MARKUS: Don’t forget Nik.

BEN: Three more players to introduce. Can we move along?

***

Despite their differences, the three adventurers decide to form a party and raise their chances of fulfilling the legendary quest that has eluded so many before them.

After little more than idle chat, the three of them retire to their quarters to find sleep and catch whatever rest they can for the few short hours left before dawn. The rest of the night is uneventful, thankfully.

When morning comes, the party reunites in the large common room of the Tipsy Unicorn, hoping to fill their bellies with breakfast before hitting the road.

***

FINN: Oh! Do they have bacon and eggs in Otters’ Gate?

BEN: Sure!

FINN: And pancakes? And what about maple syrup?

BEN: I mean, I guess.

FINN: And French toast with fruits and custard sauce? And maybe sticky buns too? And-

BEN: Yeah, yeah, it doesn’t really matter what you eat, Finn.

DIEGO: Wait, is Bastien just gonna make all that by himself?

BEN: *sigh*

***

As you pass by the kitchen on your way to the common room, you notice an enchanting fragrance coming from the large arched doorway. Hints of vanilla, maple syrup, and cinnamon catch your attention and more importantly your curiosity. The delicious scent beacons you towards its source like a siren calling for you from a rock made of bread pudding. You can’t help it, you must take a peek behind the curtain.

As you peer inside, you see that the kitchen is filled with enchanted utensils, currently hard at work preparing various delicacies for the many guests of the inn.

***

MARKUS: While a French candelabra sings enthusiastically with a teapot?

BEN: You get the gist.

***

After a hearty breakfast, the three of you take to the road, smoothly making your way south.

As the sun approaches its zenith, casting dappled patterns through the dense canopy above, you find yourselves standing at the edge of the Everhard Woods. The air is thick with the heady scent of moss-covered trees and wildflowers, and each of your steps is accompanied by the soft rustle of leaves underfoot.

Towering ancient oaks, their trunks entwined with ivy, stand as sentinels, natural guardians of the secrets hidden deep within their emerald foliage. Sunbeams dance through the leaves, illuminating patches of vibrant colors and casting shadows upon the forest floor. One’s imagination could be bolstered by these silhouettes and will them into visions of playful sylvan creatures or terrible monstrous beasts lurking away from the golden light.

But are they truly only mere visions? In the shadows, elusive shapes flit between the trees, iridescent wings catch the occasional ray of light. The sweet melodies of songbirds mix with what seems like the distant chatter of mischievous sprites, creating a beautiful but eerie song that envelops the entire woodland.

As you venture deeper into the heart of the forest, your skin starts to tingle with the overwhelming magic that fills the air, and the boundary between the material plane and the fey realm begins to blur. The Everhard Woods are a well-known sanctuary for many magical creatures: friends, foes, and everything in between. Perhaps this intrusive feeling of being observed is more than just your imagination?

Please, make a perception check.

***

FIROUZ: Nat 20. I’m back, baby!

***

Corentin and Finnigan are taken by the mesmerizing colors around them, almost hypnotized by the beauty of nature, but Azad, you notice something, a small, almost imperceptible movement in the corner of your eye. As you turn towards it, it freezes, but you are certain you saw it move. After watching it closely for a few seconds, you realize that the large flowering bush that’s right behind you has been behind you before. In fact, it has been right behind you every time you’ve looked back since venturing deeper in the forest. The bush is following you.

“Guys!” Azad whispers. “I think this plant is following us.”

“Are bushes here dangerous?” Finn asks.

“This is the Everhard Woods, mon joli.” Corentin says matter-of-factly. “Everything here is dangerous.”

And as you’re discussing whether or not it is an enemy, the bush suddenly screeches at you! You hear the sound of wood cracking as it quickly distorts itself and grows into a monstrous form, its bark opening into a wide wooden jaw with jagged edges that remind you of sharp teeth. Deep within the shadow of its foliage, two golden orbs ignite into a set of demonic eyes, completing the face of the awakened shrub. Its roots, now out of the ground, act as several spider-like legs and the large flowering bulbs across its body sprout into long slithering tendrils in the guise of arms.

Since Azad spotted the creature, you will get the first turn.

Roll initiative!

***

DIEGO: First battle! Let’s gooo!

FINN: Aaah, I’m nervous!

FIROUZ: Don’t worry, it’s just an awakened shrub. You might even one-shot it.

BEN: Hey! No meta-gaming… And also, I may have homebrewed the monsters a little.

FIROUZ: Oh shit…

***

Without wasting a breath, Azad wields his crossbow and shoots at the creature mid-transformation, lodging an iron bolt in its bark.

You notice however that it seems to somewhat resist the blow.

As he attacks the creature, Azad taunts it: “When we’re done with you, you’ll be a bunch of toothpicks, you overgrown tumbleweed!” causing a distraction that gives an opening to the fighter.

Finnigan jumps forward, sword in hand, and with the advantage provided by his teammate, slashes at the creature again and again in a dance of silvery arches. Chipped branches and leaves fly everywhere but the monster is much heartier than it looks and it takes damage almost without even flinching.

You also notice that it partially resists the attack.

***

FINN: Really? But I had advantage from Firouz.

DIEGO: Hold on, let me try something.

***

Corentin takes a step back and strums his trusty lute as he casts “Vicious Mockery” with a few well-chosen words: “Your bark is worse than your bite, but your breath is even worse than you bark.” And despite the shrub not quite understanding the subtlety of the common language, it is nonetheless hurt by this scathing jab at its halitosis.

It takes full psychic damage.

“Just as I suspected.” says Corentin at the attention of his comrades. “It resists non-magical attacks.”

***

FINN: Wait… Does that mean I’m useless?

BEN: Not useless, just… Less useful.

FINN: Aww man!

FIROUZ: You can still tank damage for us.

***

The plant creature, seemingly enraged by the attacks, launches one of its flowering tendrils at the closest target, the fighter, and dusts him with a cloud of purple pollen. As he breathes in the strange substance, Finnigan (failing his Wisdom saving throw) finds himself entranced by the sickly-sweet perfume of the flowers.

In fact, looking at the bud itself, you notice that it has a very familiar shape, almost like a mouth with a pair of full, luscious lips, parting on what looks like a soft, fleshy canal that extends all the way through the tendril into the shrub. Almost like drool on the corners of a mouth, a syrupy nectar flows gently from the lip-like petals. They look so inviting that in your entranced state, you feel compelled to take off your codpiece, revealing your aching boner.

The flower latches on it and, in a loud suckling sound, starts milking.

***

FIROUZ: Hold on… What is this thing? A horny awakened shrub?

BEN: Told you it was a homebrew monster.

FINN: This is feeling all too familiar.

BEN: Huh?

FINN: Oh nevermind! Please continue.

***

In an attempt to free the fighter, Azad approaches the creature to grab its tendril and, channeling his Genasi heritage, sends sparks of lightning through its leafy body. The spell makes the creature wince in pain, but it keeps its hold tight. And furthermore, the electric shock appears to have also transferred to the redhead who moans in an unclear mix of pain and pleasure as his vitality seems to be forcibly drained out of him.

With a swift movement, the rogue drops his hand crossbow and produces a dagger which he uses in an attempt to cut the tendril. However, when the blade approaches its wiggling stem, the tentacle-like appendage hardens into a material akin to stone, protecting it from the weapon. Only once the dagger is lowered does it go back to its previous softer form.

“This is bad.” says Azad. “It won’t let me cut it, we need a distraction.”

“I think I can help with that.” replies Corentin before casting another spell with a strum of his lute. This time, he conjures a phantom of purple light that reminds Azad of the “Mage Hand” he saw last night. However, instead of a hand, the body part that appears floating in front of the bard’s groin is a large, hard, throbbing penis.

***

JADE: Not “Mage Dick”! Hahaha!

DIEGO: Oh absolutely! It’s DM-approved too.

BEN: Use it wisely...

***

Instantly attracted to the illusionary cock, the creature whips a second tendril at the caster, huffing a waft of pollen at his face without noticing the Half-Elf’s resistance to its charming effect. Its bright purple mouth grips the magical member in a tender embrace that would surely bring hypnotizing pleasure to its owner if it were attached to his body.

With a flick of the shimmering string on his lute, the bard adds magic to a few words of encouragement he directs at his partner: “Now be careful not to trim too close to our friend. I can heal minor wounds, but I cannot regrow missing body parts.”

And with a burst of inspiration, the rogue swings his dagger again, this time, biting through the tendril in a devastating sneak attack and successfully freeing Finnigan from the distracted creature. The monster recoils in pain, screeching loudly, as it swings its flowering appendages wildly in retaliation. With impressive agility, both Azad and Corentin manage to dodge the assault and respond in kind, finally putting an end to the floral abomination’s threat.

***

FINN: Wow! That was close. Good thing you guys knew what you were doing.

BEN: Hang on, Red! You’re still in a goon state. And this is not over.

***

The agonizing screech of the creature echoes through the forest, shaking the trees into an unnerving silence and bouncing between each rock and plant. After a few seconds of this anxiety-inducing silence, you hear a similar screeching sound in return. Surely, the call has been heard.

“Of course, it has friends!” sighs Azad. “Can you do something about our meathead here?”

“I’m afraid not, mon chéri.” replies Corentin with an apologetic smile. “My specialty is charming men, not un-charming them.”

“Figures.” says Azad, visibly annoyed. “Then we’ll have to either fight or leave him there.”

***

FINN: Hey! Don’t leave me there!

FIROUZ: I’m just talking in character, buddy, we’re definitely not leaving you there.

FINN: Phew! Thanks.

FIROUZ: Unless we really have to.

FINN: Aww man…

***

Four more of the vampire flower bushes appear and surround the party. Finn is the first to be taken by the creatures as his throbbing cock already leaks in anticipation. His eagerness to be drained of all his semen is almost palpable and the thought of losing his vitality in the process doesn’t even cross his altered mind. In one intoxicating kiss, the purple petals of one of the buds quickly swallow his large manhood, coating it in their sweet nectar and making him lose control even further.

Although he fights it with all his might, Azad is also overpowered by the monsters who immobilize him with their tendrils before he has the chance to cut them further. When one of the buds rises to his face to spit its magical dust, the Genasi has the sense to hold his breath and avoid inhaling the toxin. However, as he is restrained, he can only struggle in vain against the vines that slither between the lacing of his codpiece and untie it delicately, freeing his girthy member from its leather confinement. With a promptness that betrays its hunger, the flower seizes the meat and coats it in its nectar. Unable to resist the venom penetrating his cock, Azad feels himself getting hard, harder than he’s ever been, perhaps, as if under a Succubus’s spell. And when the pleasurably tight vacuum effect of the plant begins, he can’t help but gasp in surprise, inhaling another well-placed cloud of the gooning dust.

Despite a valiant effort, Corentin, the last party member left with a clear mind, can’t fight all the tendrils back on his own. He is soon also immobilized and stripped off his tight leather pants. Despite his own fey ancestry granting him resistance to the charming pollen for much longer than his companions, he eventually also falls prey to its effects and becomes a mindless horny goon, preoccupied with pleasure above his own survival, and willing to offer his very vitality in a quest for that pleasure. As another flower latches onto his groin, he can feel it lap at his T-dick and-

***

DIEGO: Wait! I’m not immune?

BEN: Of course not. We have equal opportunity monsters at this table.

***

And quickly bring him on the verge of euphoria.

The three adventurers, prisoners of this torturous ecstasy, uncontrollably feed the creatures. Load after load they give in more of themselves, each orgasm allowing the plants to absorb a little more of their life force.

You can each roll 2d8 and reduce your hit points maximum by that amount.

***

FIROUZ: WHAT?!

MARKUS: Wow… Isn’t that a bit harsh?

JADE: Can’t we do something to help them?

BEN: Funny you should ask, I was just getting there.

***

Although you are lost in a daze of lust, you can hear a voice, almost imperceptible at first, barely a whisper. But that sound almost catches you by the neck and brings you back to reality. The sound builds up into words, a voice. It reverberates between the trees in an arcane echo. You can hear someone casting a spell.

“Principes inferi, te voco. Da mihi flammas tuas. Culum eorum crema in cinerem!”

Then, a flash of light…