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6.02 (Patreon)

Published:
2019-03-26 17:28:04
Imported:
2020-10

Content

I'm done. Not what I'd hoped, but done nonetheless. (17,000 Words)


theLastGoblin


http://wanderinginn.com/2019/03/26/6-02

Comments

Anonymous

Ah yes, this is why I have alerts for Patreon turned on...

Anonymous

I agree with you with the fact that longer chapter are losing something. 1 from time to time is perfect, but too much long chapter and I 'm feeling like even if it is still well writen, the chapters are slower, go around in circles. The Goblin that lived was different ? Pyrite was suppose to live ? I would have prefered that, he was my favorite goblin ! Whaterver you want to do with the story I trust you to create new and incredible caracters, Sorry for the errors, not a native English speaker

Anonymous

well this was a sobering experience. totally different from the previous two chapters, but this is good. good to show the aftermath of such a horrible and controversial battle. as i have said about most things, this was interesting, but more so than some other stuff

Rip Woodham
>>21169366

I only feel like we're "losing something" when it's a long chapter taken to express something difficult. In this case it conveyed the emptiness it was meant to, for lack of a better method, I think. Otherwise, I feel like we're gaining something with the longer chapters. I worry about what would be cut to make them shorter - we'd be missing out. For example, it could be argued that the bit with Octavia wasn't important. But it was my favorite part.

Jake6665

I personally say that you are doing a great job. I love what you put out, but if you feel the longer chapters are losing something then take the action that you feel necessary. As your fans, we just want you to be able to put out something that not only can be enjoyed but something that you feel proud over. Good Luck!

Alan McBrayer

In my opinion whether longer chapters help or hurt a story depending largely on the point of the chapter. If a chapter is full of epic moments then its increased length either adds to the buildup before the climax or extends the scope of the epic moments. If a chapter is meant to convey grief then its increased length compounds the grief we feel since we can't fully process the emotions until we stop reading. However if a chapter is just dealing with slice of life issues or catching up with old characters then its increased length can make it feel like it is dragging on. If the slice of life chapter only covers a few days of mostly the same activities then it feels like a needlessly long chapter. Conversely if said chapter has many view points or goes over a variety of actions and days then it feels like two chapters put together.

Alan McBrayer
>>21181457

Overall I'd say you're doing an excellent job crafting a truly complex and engaging story. The only real flaws your story is the few inconsistencies in the story (The value of money seems to fluctuate and the bags of holding have gotten a significant boost in power), the occasional long winded chapter, and the short side stories that end up lasting 5 chapters. That last bit you seemed to have already fixed.

Anonymous

This chapter was heartbreaking, even more so because there is no clean closure for Erin and Numbtongue. Their grief was piercing and gut-wrenching and I'm not ashamed to admit I shed my fair share of tears reading this. Thank you for your amazing words.

Anonymous
>>21185604

Also, I don't think you're losing anything with longer chapters. I think you used the right amount of words to properly convey the aftermath of the battle for Erin and for Liscor too. Rushing through it would have cheapened Erin and Numbtongue's grief, and maybe not have expressed it as well.

Philip Pleiss

This chapter was very emotionally compelling. I remember reading once that the true measure of an author's writing is if they can make their audience FEEL. I feel kind of bad for Octavia. She's just a mensch, trying to work her way up in the world, and part of a society where the cloth she uses to fabricate her body not only grants special traits, but also is an indicator of status. I hope some otherworlder shows up with a bunch of clothing made out of exotic materials like nomex (fireproof), kevlar (damage resistant), or microfiber (soooo smoooth). Or maybe someone in innworld figures out how to make spidersilk cloth.

Anonymous

I do wonder /how/ a Stichperson swaps bodies.

Kyle Aretae

There was a bit about emperor of sands swapping bodies. A while back.