The Good Life: Malicious Amusements (ch. 23) (Patreon)

As much as I would like to say that I was about to murder every single senator, government official, and politician all the way down to Victoria Neumann, that wasn't exactly true. In the end, it would be too obvious. Stan was proving to be a rather clever adversary, and he wouldn't be so blinded by the glittering of the opportunity to see that it wasn't gold. After all, the Presidential seat falling straight into his spy's lap… well, if I were in his shoes, I'd be hella suspicious. There was such a thing as too much good luck.

So, with a heavy heart, I wouldn't be slaughtering most of the Senate, Congress, and the top generals and whoever the hell else I found.

I would just be murdering most of them.

"Hmmmhmmm," I hummed to myself, feeling absolutely giddy with excitement. Even when I was cooking up fantasies, I never imagined that I would be doing anything like this. In the confines of my room, stewing in my own resentment, I only imagined the clashes of what could be's. A battle in front of the Whitehouse, me vs the Seven to decide the fate of America, or an epic clash over the skyline of New York with the city slowly breaking apart at the force of our blows.

I even imagined the actors that would play us if Vought survived to make a movie out of the reality. It was sad, in hindsight. Honestly, it was even pathetic. I clung to those fantasies because I could be as epic as I wanted to be in my head, I could convince myself that if I just had the opportunity… that was who I'd be. And, against all odds, I got that opportunity.

Reality wasn't kind enough to give me everything that I ever wanted though. The heroes were a bust. Most of them were bitterly disappointing if I was being completely honest. But, disappointment and I were age-old friends and I found other ways to embrace my idealized version of myself. The me that only existed in my head.

"I'm gonna kill the President~!" I sang to myself, creating a Room that stretched over the crowd that gathered in front of the White House. The air shook from the force of their protesting, all of it becoming a jumbled mess but it still conveyed their feelings – that they were not happy. That they did not feel safe. That their leaders had failed them as they hid on top of their ivory towers, looking down at the danger from afar. I wonder how the tune would change after this?

I swapped places with a random bystander, and no one was the wiser. There were simply too many people to notice and even if they did, word wouldn't travel. Not in this noise. Not with how densely packed the crowd was, because from the footage on the news, there were tens of thousands of people gathering in protest. And there were thousands more on their way.

"I'm gonna be the bad guy~!" I continued, taking a massive leap forward, taking me almost to the front of the crowd. A barricade was erected and a wall of cops nervously stood behind it with riot gear on. I made another Room, this one letting me clip into the White House itself.

"I get to be evil~!" I finished, swapping places with a vase. I thought it would be quieter inside of what looked to be a rather dull-looking office. However, all that noise was being directed straight at the White House and it came in such force that the window panes were practically vibrating. I stepped off the end table, landing lightly on the floor, feeling light as a feather.

I swung my backpack over my shoulder and unzipped it to reveal my explosive of the evening -- claymore mines stuck together around a basketball's worth of C4 and a liter of napalm. Excessive, admittedly, but better to not take any chances. I'm sure that the US government had some Supes under the table, and if one of them was some kind of bodyguard or healer… well, I didn't want to give them anything to work with. Priming the claymores, I held out a hand, "Room."

My room re-centered around me and it stretched down all the way to a bunker about fifty feet below. Nowhere near deep enough to escape my range. A long table, a bunch of monitors, with a good two dozen people who were arguing. I was vaguely aware of what was on the monitors -- all the Supes that had answered my call to arms. New York was where most of them were at, and it had been hit the hardest. It was also the swiftest to recover because most of them died to various other Supes in the city.

The rest? They were smarter. They moved around. Shockwave was the MVP. He bounced between city to city, town to town, and simply caused absolute havoc. He wasn't going out of his way to kill anyone, but he was leaving a wake of deafness as he ruptured eardrums with the sonic booms that followed him. There were others, of course. Some of which I didn't even need to steal their hearts to motivate. Monkey see, monkey do, as it would so happen.

And while I could raise up the soundwaves to my ear, it seemed overall rather pointless when I could already guess what they were saying. They were talking about me. The President was having a secret meeting about me! Was I blushing? It felt like I was blushing.

"I'm about to drop. Give the signal, Robin," I instructed and I couldn't keep how happy I was out of my voice. This wasn't my childhood dream, but goddamn, it might be the next best thing.

Move over Bin Laden, there's a new terrorist in town.

"Order sent. Be careful, Heartless," Robin replied and I could tell she heard the joy in my voice. "It would be quite the shame if something happened just because you let your guard down."

"I'll be careful. Talk to you in a few," I said, knowing that she was right. I had to expect an ace up the President's sleeve. Yet, I felt lightning dance at my fingertips, just ready to get this show on the road. So, I took in a deep breath, calming my racing heart…

Then I arrived for my meeting with the President of the United States of America.

I appeared at the center of the long table, replacing a sheet of paper. Men and women in suits and suit dresses were all around me, most of them appearing tired and haggard with the emergency meeting having dragged on all night. There were a number of coffee cups, loose papers, plans upon plans, and data upon data scattered around. And I could feel it.

It was like all the air was sucked out of the room with my arrival. Stolen right out of their lungs. They all noticed me instantly, and for the briefest of seconds, they all froze like deer in headlights.

And it was amazing. It was even better than sex. I knew that I would cherish this memory until my dying day.

My gaze landed on the one at the head of the table. An older man in his mid-sixties -- wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, hair dye to make his hair a more unified gray… "President Carter," I greeted him, unable to stop smiling.

As far as Presidents went, to my knowledge, he was fine. Not good. Not bad. Just perfectly fine. At least until my arrival where, bit by bit, his approval numbers went down every day I wasn't caught. I probably ruined his career, honestly. Oddly enough, I felt more bad about that than I would killing him.

I could see the President putting himself together, even if pure panic shone in his eyes. "Heartless," he greeted me in return. Then his gaze flickered to the Secret Service. Who found their guns replaced with staplers. He licked his lips, a deadly profound silence filling the emergency room. "I don't suppose you are here to surrender."

False confidence. I could respect that. "Ah, no. Can't say that I am. And I wouldn't offer your surrender either -- I'm not interested in taking them." No. This was a battle to the bitter end. Death over defeat. Maybe before, I could have accepted getting beaten. Maybe thrown in a cell or cutting a deal for some freedoms. That went out the window the moment I decided to destroy Vought and learned that the universe was so much bigger than I thought it was.

I could tell that he was nervous. "Then why are you here?" He asked pointedly and in response, I swapped the bomb in my bag with a sheet of paper before me. His eyes widened dramatically and, honestly, I should have left there. But I just couldn't help myself. I could hardly cut a meeting with the President of the United States short, now could I?

"You're mad," he spat at me, pure panic filling the room. "What do you want from us!?"

"I don't want anything from you," I told him in all honesty. "You're just collateral damage in this game of mine." His eyes widened dramatically and I felt that was a suitably dramatic line to end the conversation on. It was enough to let him know that he meant nothing to me. That all the people in the room meant nothing to me. Hell, I didn't even know most of their names.

The leader of the free world. The President of hands down the single most powerful nation in the world…

And in his final moments, he would die knowing that he wasn't even the target.

I swapped places with someone that was in the office I first arrived at -- a security guard that was investigating the disturbance or something. Not a second later, I pressed the big red button on the bomb down below as everyone in the room either lunged for it or scrambled to get out. The explosion was powerful, enough so that I felt a faint vibration travel up through my feet.

More importantly, I felt everyone in the room be reduced to charred mincemeat.

The President was dead.

"Pfft," a small laugh escaped me. Chuckles bubbled up from the chest before they turned into full-blown laughter. I threw my head back and just laughed at it all.

This… this was exactly what I wanted. Just the feeling of power. The sensation of being powerful in a way that not even the USA could hope to stop me from doing exactly what I wanted. Honestly, it made me understand other Supes a lot more. I could empathize with them even… I couldn't imagine it. I really couldn't.

How could Homelander stand it? How could he stomach bowing his head to chumps like Vought and the US when he could just rip down the whole thing? After getting a taste of this, that sounded like pure torture to me. I mean… fuck me. I couldn't imagine not using this power now that I had it.

I understood the heroes a little better now. I truly did.

It wasn't going to stop me from ruining their lives before killing them. I still felt lied to. I just empathize with them a little more now.

"I'm glad that you've enjoyed yourself," Robin said now that I was back in signal range, sounding faintly amused. "I take it that the deed is done then?"

Everyone was dead beneath me. Torn to shreds, doused in napalm, and burnt to carbon. I had cut off the head of the snake. "Yup," I confirmed, picking a random pedestrian in the crowd before I swapped places with them. Just like that, I was lost in the crowd and hardly anyone even realized what just happened. "Easy peasy. How about the others?"

"Their missions have been accomplished. Three links in the chain of command above Victoria remain intact. I would expect one of them shall be murdered and blamed on you, while the other two will be intimidated into stepping back from the acting President position." Robin informed me -- just like that, the United States government died.

Oh, I'm sure that there would be a rush to fill the void left behind. There technically was a chain of command that dictated who would replace who. But the issue with that was the assumption that anyone would want to fill those shoes. After all, being President just proved to be extremely fatal. Politicians were a self-centered lot. I couldn't imagine most of them would be willing to stick their neck out for a position of power that came with very real danger.

I couldn't help it. I started laughing again. And, to my surprise, Robin chuckled darkly along with me. "Toppling governments can be quite rewarding," she remarked lightly and that caught my attention. Sounds like this wasn't her first time. Interesting.

"I think I just destroyed America. I think this is a reason to celebrate!" I decided…

And I just couldn't wait to see how the dominos fell.

…

"Not really sure I would call this a celebration," Yoruichi remarked, sitting in my lap as I had a dozen different screens around me, all detailing the news some hours later. Next to me I had a bowl of popcorn that were lathered up in butter and rock salt, which I lifted to my mouth by the handful with my Room. We were back in my apartment, just the two of us, while Robin listened in.

"Everyone else is busy," I dismissed. Kimiko was probably the only person that I thought could accept the invite, but I don't think she would celebrate the downfall of the government with me. Right now, she was doing her own thing and hunting down human traffickers while everything was chaotic.

And this was more than fine with me. I was more than happy to just read the headlines.

President Carter has been murdered by Heartless.

Heartless orchestrates slaughter in Congress. Hundreds dead.

The worst tragedy in American history: How Heartless has targeted our liberties and independence.

Supervillain Heartless commits his most heinous act yet!

Heartless and his league of villains terrorize American citizens and deliver a terrible blow to American sovereignty.

Those were just some of the highlights. It didn't take long for the news to break because it was virtually impossible to hide. And it seemed the media was running free now that no one was holding their leash because it was constant fear-mongering, cranked up to eleven. According to FOX, CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, and so on and so on, today was the day of the apocalypse.

Today was the first day of the start of end of days.

All because of me.

It was awesome.

"I pictured you more as a raging party animal rather than a private celebration kind of guy," Yoruichi said, leaning into my palm as I scratched behind his ears. With my other hand, I tossed a few popcorn bits into my mouth and chewed before grabbing my cup of soda that hovered near me and drank deeply from it.

"Not much of a party guy in general," I admitted as I turned my attention to another site.

Hero or Villain -- who is the man behind the mask?

Heartless saves America by ruthlessly cutting out the cancer that infected its leadership.

The lies of corporate America -- Heartless is a true hero.

Those articles were fewer in number, and I didn't fail to notice that all of them came from crazy news stations. The ones that advocated for an armed revolution against current politics. The ones that thought the federal government ever gave a shit about them one way or the other and felt victimized. To them, if Homelander wasn't already their second coming of Jesus, then I was the next best thing.

It was hilarious. Genuinely hilarious. I couldn't tell what was funnier -- that I was suddenly a hero because we had a common enemy, or they thought I was on their side in anything. They thought that I was their savior.

I had no clue what would come next. I really didn't. I just knew that it was going to be fascinating to watch.

"Seems like a shame to not have a… proper celebration," Yoruichi purred, sitting up and I heard the tone in his deep voice. A paw was placed on my groin, a claw hooking through the zipper, and giving it a playful tug.

My mind came to a screeching halt. A full on blue screen.

My cat was trying to fuck me.

My weeb, male talking cat was trying to fuck me. Was this because of the chin scratches? Was I sending signals? What the fuck? I might be an evil mass murdering bastard, but even I had lines in the sand-

"Pfft~!" A laugh escaped Yoruichi before he threw his head back and laughed uproariously. Then, not a second later, steam began to erupt around him and I immediately noticed that he was getting heavier in my lap. Steam filled my vision but I was far more aware of what was happening thanks to my Room. I could sense that Yoruichi was shifting into something.

Someone.

A second later, the mist faded enough to let me see… well, her. A dark-skinned woman now sat in my lap, her purple hair falling around her shoulders as the same golden eyes looked at me with amusement dancing in them. Her body was toned with defined muscle, her breasts full and perky with dusky-colored nipples. The male-sounding laugh turned into a distinctly womanly one as she laughed that much harder when I gaped at her with a slack jaw, stricken utterly speechless.

"Y-your face! Hahaha~!" Yoruichi laughed so hard that she was on the verge of tears. "You really had no clue! Yoruichi is a woman's name, idiot."

I sputtered, "I don't know Japanese! How in the hell was I supposed to know that?!" Every single interaction was recontextualized in my head -- I had absolutely no clue that she- "Wait, are you a cat that can turn into a human, or are you a human that can turn into a cat?" I asked because holy shit. Shape-changer Supes were in a distinct minority. Out of all the Supes in America, I think there were like two.

Yoruichi just smirked at me, and it was only then that I noticed that she still had my zipper clutched between what were now fingers. I glanced down and saw that the carpet matched the drapes as she had a small tuft of purple public hair above her slit. "Is that really the question you want to ask right now?" She asked and she had a point there.

"Why now?" I asked, not really seeing the particular reason why she would reveal herself like this now. It almost felt unprompted.

"I was waiting for you to do something dumb enough to be in need of a rescue for a dramatic reveal, but you've been doing a surprisingly good job of avoiding the deadly bit of deadly danger." Yoruichi remarked, and I could see the cat mannerisms in her because she sounded every bit as smug as I imagined a cat would sound like if they could talk.

"Thanks," came my dry reply.

"So, I decided it would be more amusing for me to reveal my true form when you least expected it," she continued as if I said nothing. "Robin, did you manage to snap a picture?" She asked, calling out to the otherwise silent third party.

"I was unaware that you would be naked, so I neglected to do so," was Robin's equal dry reply. She knew? That was a little annoying but at the same time…

If you couldn't appreciate a good joke made at your own expense, then you had no right to laugh at others.

"Ha! You got me," I admitted, making Yoruichi smile broadly. "If I knew you were waiting to rescue me, I would have put myself in more danger," I told her with a laugh as I leaned into the seat to really drink her in. Yoruichi was a stunning woman, and now that the shock wore off a bit, I could feel my body responding accordingly to having such a stunning woman sitting naked in my lap.

Yoruichi gave me a sly smile, "Maybe… but then we wouldn't be in a position to celebrate properly, now would we?" She remarked, pulling gently at my zipper as her golden eyes narrowed with desire. I was perfectly content watching the news freak out about my actions, but this seemed a lot more enjoyable. "Robin, care to… celebrate with us?"

"I think that would be… unwise," Robin answered while Yoruichi's deft hands undid the button to my pants. I let her take the lead, curious where this was going. In more ways than one. I mean…

I just killed the President and now my not-weeb cat turned out to be a beautiful woman that was up for some fun. Honestly, it was barely past noon. I couldn't wait to see what the rest of the day had in store for me.

Goddamn, my life was awesome.

"What's so unwise about it?" Yoruichi pressed, fishing my cock out of my pants and it stood at attention. Her delicate but strong hands slowly stroked me, looking into my eyes as she did so. "Worried about your anonymity?" She asked, her sly smile growing a fraction when Robin seemed to hesitate to answer. "You know, I always thought it was strange what you got out of this little arrangement. I get amusement. Law gets to live out his dreams. But you… you put the most work in, and I don't think you care anymore about the organization than Law does."

That was a question that had always bothered me a bit with Robin. I was curious, but I always knew that she wouldn't give me a straight answer even if I asked.

"There is work to be done. The chaos of the situation will give us an opportunity to regain our strength," Robin said and both Yoruichi and I saw it. That was an excuse. Now I was really curious about what the answer might be because I hadn't expected a deflection. Honestly, I figured she'd just say something like 'I want to see the job done right.' Something that was a non-answer, but still in line with what I generally expected from Robin.

Who was by far the most mysterious woman in my life. Including Yoruichi.

"No, there's not," Yoruichi said, biting her lip seductively when I finally placed my hands on her thighs, feeling the soft smooth skin under my palms. "You already got everything set up the moment you knew what the plan was. There's nothing you need to do at the moment." I tilted my head about that as something started to dawn on me.

Yoruichi knew who Robin was. How she spoke… it was as if she had been keeping as much of an eye on Robin as Robin had been on me. How in the hell did that happen? I never tried to look for Robin, knowing deep in my gut that would make her vanish without so much as a goodbye. How had Yoruichi found her?

There was another pause and Yoruichi's smile grew with every second that went by. "I know that hands and ears aren't the only thing you can project," she continued, her fingers stroking me a bit faster now. "Live a little. It's a party after all," Yoruichi said, leaning in for a kiss and I met her halfway. Her tongue brushed against mine, moaning when I gripped her ass, my fingers sinking into the supple flesh.

Silence was Robin's answer for a long few minutes. And I wasn't particularly surprised by that as my hands explored Yoruichi's fine body, listening to her mewl in appreciation of my touch. In the end, Robin was shy. Secretive. I really didn't see her as the type to jump into a threesome when, technically, we've never even had a face to face conversation. But, in hindsight, maybe that impression came from the fact that we never met in person and I only saw one side of her until now.

And I saw another when another weight found itself in my lap. Yoruichi leaned back, breaking the kiss, so we both could look down to see… I could only compare it to a sex toy. It was the lap of a woman -- thighs cut off about half way, and the upper half cut off a few inches below the bellybutton. The skin had a faint tan to it and-

Oh.

Ohhh…

That's Robin's lap.

Just like that, I was convinced I had never seen her in person because I would never forget an ass like that.

"There you go," Yoruichi purred, giving Robin a light spank on the ass. "This is a much better use for that power of yours."

Robin didn't respond. Her body, the portion that we had at least, was a little more honest. It appeared between myself and Yoruichi, as if she were sitting in my lap. I could feel her slick pussy dampening the underside of my cock. My gaze met Yoruichi's and her smirk reviled my own.

"It'd be really rude of me to skip in line like this," Yoruichi began, grabbing hold of Robin's waist and lifting her up so her pussy lined up with my waiting cock. She teased us both by rubbing the tip along Robin's slit, a drop of arousal slowly running down my length. "After all, you got so hot and bothered when Cinder was here, getting a taste of this delicious cock." Oh? "And good girls deserve a reward!"

With that as the only warning, Yoruichi slammed Robin's waist down, fully sheathing myself inside of Robin. And the very first thing I noticed was that she was tight. Almost stiflingly so. Her walls clenched down on me in a velvety soft vice grip and if she were any less wet, I'm not sure I would be able to move at all. Yoruichi chuckled warmly as my cock throbbed already, teased by her earlier mistrations, and Robin's sublime pussy. She gave me but a moment's time to adjust before she lifted Robin's waist up and her pussy clung to me with such fierceness that I was half worried that it might pop off.

Then she started to frantically fuck Robin onto my cock with the reckless intensity of a thirteen year old that had just discovered the wonderous joys of masturbation. Robin's pussy squelched noisily, her body leaving a glossy sheen on my cock as droplets fell from the intensity of Yoruichi's movements. Yoruichi's eyes danced with amusement and my own hands weren't idle. With part of Robin between us, it made things a little awkward, but I still was able to reach forward.

My hands glided across her mocha skin, dipping between her thighs so I could stroke her lower lips to find them damp. She wasn't as aroused as Robin was, but with each stroke and an appreciative moan later, she was rapidly warming up. "Hmm… magic fingers indeed," Yoruichi remarked, leaning forward before she kissed me deeply. My cock throbbed at the stimulation -- using Robin as what amounted to an onahole, while another beautiful woman fucked her on my cock.

There was only one thing missing, I decided as I blindly groped for my phone. Grabbing it, I dialed a number that was on speed dial.

It rang once.

Twice.

Three times.

"-hnngh~!" Robin moaned through the speaker of the phone, her voice breathless in my ear. It was probably the single most seductive sound I had ever heard in my life. My cock throbbed and I heard her breathing hitch. She seemed to check herself, trying to stifle her moans now that she knew someone was listening.

I broke the kiss with Yoruichi, who looked like the cat that was about to eat the canary. "I want to hear you cum," I told Robin. It was the very first time I asked anything of her. I never once gave her an order and I think that might have sent her over the edge because her pussy clenched down as she came, and Robin's sweet musical moans echoed through the phone speaker.

Her pussy milked me of my own orgasm, and I felt myself come undone as I unloaded inside of her. Yoruichi proved to be a sadist because she had exactly zero mercy on either of us as she continued to impale Robin on my cock with the same intensity as before. Cum dripped from the near vacuum-tight seal that her pussy had around my length and it was with an audible sound that Yoruichi pulled me free of Robin's grip, raising her up so my cum could fall from her pussy onto Yoruichi's waiting tongue.

"Ah… that-" Robin paused, sounding as relaxed as I had ever heard her. Before suddenly not. "Law! We’ve been found-"

That's all she managed to say before I heard an explosion and Robin's body vanished.

…

This is a bit of an experiment, so I’d appreciate some feedback. Normally, I dedicate a whole chapter to a sex scene and leave it as a standalone chapter, but I’m trying my hand at doing a little more frequent lewds that take up a portion of a chapter.

So, do would you prefer stand-alone lewd chapters or smaller snapshots?