From the Ashes: Roaring Flame (ch. 9) (Patreon)

It took me a long time to reach Denerim. The journey itself would take a month in the snow, but I spent another month out in the wilds. The decision was an easy one. A challenge to myself to winter out in the elements to see if I would survive. And survive I did.

My body was weighed down with furs -- a thick black pelt from a black bear I had accidentally stumbled upon on my way back. I tried to talk the bear into letting me stay the night there, but the bear decided that it had a little more room for food and tried to make a snack out of me. That was how I learned that while I could speak to animals, like people, I couldn't always reason with them. A hunting village showed me how to treat the pelt in exchange for most of the meat and bone. A poor deal, but I had enough seeds in my pocket to make my way back to Denerim.

Ferelden was covered in a blanket of snow. From the fields that were left to fallow over winter to the imperial highway, to the city itself. I trudged through the snow, the edge of the bear pelt dragging across the ground, collecting water and mud but it weighed the pelt down to keep me warm when harsh winds tried to cut through me. My nose was red, my ears were red, and my face felt a little numb, but I wasn't at risk of frostbite.

I chose to enter the city invisible and without a trace, stepping by the guards that sat by an open gate with no one coming in or out of it. They were playing a game of Wicked Grace and having a grand time of it too. The only thing that was easier than guard duty was guard duty in the winter. Part of me expected the city to seem different as I walked the familiar snow-covered streets, but it mostly looked the same. The same buildings, the same people, just with snow giving the place a fantastical look to it. Like it was the kind of city where you wouldn't find a knife between your ribs if you walked down the wrong alley.

The marketplace was far more subdued. Trade was active in the spring, summer, and fall, but most stall owners weren't willing to catch their death barking for customers that were shivering inside their homes. Most stores were open, most of which dealt in food that they were selling at cutthroat prices. The city was quieter than I remembered. And smaller.

The city hadn't changed, but I sure did. Before, I could have never imagined anything bigger than Denerim. It was the city to end all cities. It was my whole world. Now, I learned, it was just a small piece of a much larger world. It seemed far less daunting, that was for certain. Less scary. The constant anxiety that I had carried with me throughout my life had been replaced by experience -- I had lived amongst the Dalish, I had earned a Legend-Mark, and I had killed a man in cold blood while getting more killed with cunning. Before that, I slew Gaxkang the Unbound, a powerful and ancient demon, and gleaned ancient magics from his memories and tomes.

The Azoth Surana that left this city was not the one that returned.

"A whole silver?! For a bit of bread?! Are you out your bleedin' mind?!" I heard someone shout from the market square as I crossed the King's Bridge, making my way to the alienage.

"That's the price if you don't want to starve! It was a poor harvest this year!" The merchant shouted right back before the customer left in a huff. "Walk away! You'll come crawling back when your belly is empty!" The merchant shouted back at him.

It was amazing what you could glean when no one thought that you were there. My gaze lingered on the loaves of bread that were on display -- wheat that was sweetened with honey on top. A rare treat. My hand drifted out and lifted the loaf of bread while the merchant looked away and hide it under my cloak before he looked back. Continuing on my way, I heard him shout about thieving children by the time I first caught sight of the alienage.

The wrought iron gate that served as the only entrance was closed and there were a number of guards outside of the gate. My eyes narrowed into slits, my heart pounding in my chest. I searched their faces to see if I recognized anyone, but I couldn't tell. I didn't see one with a scarred cheek, though. When I was last here, I hadn't been in the frame of mind to memorize faces.

"These damn knife ears. I could be at home, in me bed, with me wife cuddled up next to me by a fire. Instead, I'm stuck out here with you lot because they make mountains out of molehills." One guard groused and I made sure to memorize his face, lingering by them to get an idea of what happened.

"Everyone's hungry. It's winter. Don't see us rioting about it," another human muttered, shivering. The guard scalemail didn't make it easy to stay warm, even if they were around a fire with a thick blanket thrown over their shoulders.

"They've been a right nuisance lately. First, they make us purge them, and now they riot? The old Arls lost his stomach, I say." Another guard picked up, drinking from a bottle that he then passed to another grateful guard. "Used to be the elves wouldn't do much as make a pep because they knew the Arl would come down here himself and show 'em what for."

"Heard his son takes after the old man," one guard voiced but the one that first spoke shook his head.

"Nah -- he's a right cunt, he is. My sister works as a servant for the Arl and she has all sorts of tales about Lord Vaughan. Real terror. The elves will get the worst of it, but so will decent folk," he said, accepting the bottle when it was passed to him. I watched the exchange, feeling like I learned all that I could from them and set about entering the alienage proper, an ice-cold ball of hate in my stomach as I scaled the wall and landed in the alienage.

There was no one on the streets, but that wasn't too unusual for winter. However, I did notice that the alienage was in disrepair. More so than normal. Part of it was leftover damage from the fire of the last purge, some was the firebreak that had been made to prevent the spread, but the rest looked newer. There had been a riot, it seemed. And it had been put down and the gate shut.

Fury flowed through my veins as I dropped the spells, revealing myself in a back alley before stepping out of it. When I walked the main road, I did feel some eyes on me, but none dared open their doors. My gaze was instead directed to the Vhenadahl tree, its branches bare, but still strong and healthy. I used to love the tree of the People. Now, every time I looked at it, I saw the bodies that were hanging from it.

"Maker's breath," I heard a familiar voice utter, bringing my attention to her and I saw Shianni gaping at me.

"Shianni. You look well," I remarked, turning to face her. She did, despite my fears. When I heard the guards, I expected everyone to have sunken cheeks and be nothing but bones. Shianni looked as she ever did -- fiery red hair, pale skin, freckles dusted over her nose and cheekbones. She was shorter than I remember, though.

"Azoth! It is you!" She exclaimed, running at me and wrapping me up in her arms, her head on my chest as she squeezed me with all of her strength. The hate and fury lessened at the hug and the sight that things may not be as bad as I thought they might be. "I thought for sure you would catch your death out there! You got so much taller! Did you find the Dalish?"

"I did," I answered, looking down at Shianni. It was true, I was taller. Not by much, though. I was maybe 5'6 at the tallest. "It was… an experience. What about you? I heard there was a lockdown on the alienage and the guards mentioned a riot," I voiced and I saw a pained look flash over her face.

"Let's get you inside before we trade stories," Shianni said, taking me by the arm and dragging me to… Kallian's house. I tried to suppress my memories -- both good and bad -- as Shianni threw open the door, "Guess who I found out in the cold?" She called out, earning the attention of a few familiar faces. Soris leaped to his feet the moment that he saw me while Cyrion looked at me like a ghost had walked through his door.

"I brought food," I said, revealing the loaf. Soris and Shianni eyed it hungrily before they began to divvy it up.

"Azoth. You've returned to us," Cyrion said, looking relieved as I took a seat on a wood stool next to the fire. "You look well. When I heard you left for the Dalish, I was worried you'd wind up in a ditch somewhere."

"What brings you back, Azoth? Did you find the Dalish?" Soris questioned, taking a seat next to me as he eyes the bear pelt that hung off of me with curious admiration. Shianni handed me a portion of the bread -- the largest one from the look of it. So, I split it in half and decided I would leave that half for Shianni and Soris.

"He says he did!" Shianni said, vibrating with excitement while Cyrion's brow furrowed deeply with concern.

"Then what brings you here at the tail end of winter?" He asked me as I took a bite of the bread. It was good. The outside was firm and crunchy, but the insides were very soft. The honey gave it a faintly sweet flavor.

I looked at the three of them, seeing all of them curious about my tale. So, I told it. "I found the Dalish in Tiger forest and spent a few weeks with them. They're not what I expected them to be," I admitted, the disappointment still stinging months later. "They had tattooed faces called Vallaslin they got to honor their gods, the Creators. They live free, and they spend their time looking for artifacts of our people. We had… ideological differences when we came across two warring tribes of avvar with one side being aided by slavers. I helped rescue the defeated, earned the Legend-Mark Shadow-Walker. After that, I decided to come back, but winter slowed me down a great deal."

Shianni scrunched up her nose, "You're horrible at telling stories," she decided.

"Shadow-Walker? Wait, you fought against humans?" Soris questioned, sounding like he couldn't believe it. I could t help the nasty smile that tugged at my lips.

"I killed humans," I corrected, and Soris seemed a little unnerved by how much pride I took from that fact. "But, I'm more interested in what's happening here?" I said, my gaze sliding to Cyrion. Now that I had a good look at him, I saw that he seemed to have aged a decade in the past three months. His face was lined with wrinkles, there was more gray in his hair than not. He looked older than the haren despite being a good decade younger.

He let out a small sigh as he gazed into the fire. "It wasn't long after you left that the Arl decided to lock us into the alienage. We had warning of it because of the elven servants that worked at the estate, but he wanted to keep prices low for the humans and dwarves. Which wouldn't work if we were buying bread to feed ourselves."

My jaw clenched, "So, he locked you in here to starve." I voiced and Shianni nodded, her face an expression of anger.

Cannibalism wasn't unknown in the alienage. It had happened before when we were able to buy bread through the winter. Someone would eventually die from the cold and someone would look at their corpse and realize how hungry they were. Those that consumed another elf were always shunned when the act was discovered. But, if the alienage was in lockdown throughout the winter, cannibalism would be far more widespread.

To save money. To keep prices affordable. Couldn't just give food away. Not when you could turn a profit.

"But he's the fool," Shianni blurted, puffing out her chest with pride and adopting a cocky smirk. I looked to her, but it was Soris that answered.

"The gold. When we got word from the Hahren, we spent it on buying food from the docks. Whole lot of it. We're stretching it out real good, but it won't get us all the way through winter. It'll get us most of the way there, though." Soris said and I was glad that the gold was good for something. Now that I think about it, sixteen sovereigns worth of food, when bread was usually a few bronze bits and most, may have something to do with why bread was a silver in the market.

I was happy with how things turned out. It wasn't ideal, but it was far better than what I expected. I expected to enter the alienage to find my people so hungry that they were eating the dead to avoid starvation. So, while not ideal, this was far better.

"How did you get your hands on that much food without anyone kicking up a fuss?" I asked, and Soris turned red. Shianni answered for him.

"Captain Isabela helped us. Bought the food for us when, ah, when we were gettin' chased for flashing a sovereign at the docks. She also said that if we ever saw you again to tell you that anyone with eyes like yours are welcome to serve under her." Shianni stressed and I blinked at that. I hadn't thought of Captain Isabela since I left. I hadn’t expected that of her. I thought she would just be a ruthless pirate who’d only be glad she wouldn’t have to pay my brother after the message had been delivered.

Cyrion caught my attention with a pinning look. “I’m glad that you’re here, Azoth. Truly, I am. However, I’m not sure why you’ve returned. If you found the Dalish…” He trailed off, clearly not seeing why I wouldn’t stay with them for good. I think I would find the decision hard to grasp if I heard the tale rather than lived it.

“The Dalish are cowards,” I spoke, my tone harsh. Soris looked like his dreams were dashed upon the stone, but I continued on. “They’re content to hide in the woods and bury their heads in the sand when it comes to city elves. They called me flat ear. So long as they have their freedom, they couldn’t care less about the rest of us.” I spoke, taking another bite of my bread. “I went to them because I expected them to be fighting humans. That the tales of humans calling them bandits were raids and…”

I shook my head, disgusted by how much I had looked up to the Dalish. “I came back after I spent a few weeks with them. They won’t do anything,” I voiced and Cyrion’s brow furrowed deeply as he considered me. My gaze met his and he leaned back ever so slightly as if frightened at what he saw there. Even if it wasn’t directed at him.

“Kallian wouldn’t want this for you. Neither would your family,” Cyrion told me and I knew he could see it. The hate in my eyes. The irrational, senseless, monstrous hate that seemed to fuel every thought and action I had for months now. Soris and Shianni watched quietly, saying nothing.

“My family is dead. So is yours,” I told him, and I regretted the words almost as soon as I said them when I saw the pain in Cyrion’s gaze. His expression crumpled, a hand going to his face to hide the tears that welled in his eyes. “What I’m going to do is make sure that our families are the last ones that are murdered by humans.”

“They won’t be,” Cyrion told me, his tone blunt and heartbroken.

I knew that. “They won’t be. There are going to be reprisals,” I admitted, looking into the fire. The humans wouldn’t be content to just let us escape the boot on our necks and hand over a kingdom to us so we could live in peace. I had to accept that. “However, I will be worse. The humans will learn that they can no longer do what they wish to elves. It will be up to them to decide how much blood I have to spill before they understand.”

Shianni and Soris were looking at me like they didn’t know me. Soris was horrified, but I saw Shianni’s eyes narrow with interest. She had always been the firebrand. She just didn’t seem to know how to handle what I was saying because I was the one saying it.

“They wouldn’t want this for you, Azoth. I don’t want this for you either,” Cyrion repeated, looking at me after lowering his hands. His eyes shone with tears. I wished I could cry with him. Merril said she healed my eyes -- the blood in the whites of my eyes was gone, yet I hadn’t been able to shed a single tear. “You’re a good honest lad. A little clumsy, but no one doubted that you meant well. I know you protected my daughter more than once. She never said it, but I know it’s how you got that scar across your throat.”

A hand went to the scar in question and I felt only smooth flesh under my fingertips. “I’ve made my decision, Cyrion. I made it when I knelt under the bodies of everyone I’ve ever loved.” I told him and I could see him realize that there was no changing my mind. He lowered his head and let out a sigh that betrayed how utterly exhausted he was.

“You’re welcome to stay here, Azoth. I know you won’t. But you will always be welcomed here,” he told me when I made to stand. I nodded, accepting the offer but knowing that I would never take him up on it. What I was going to do… I couldn’t have weaknesses. I couldn’t have anyone close to me because they would be attacked to get to me.

“Thank you, Cyrion,” I told him, offering a small bow of my head before I left the building. I fully intended that to be that, only for Soris and Shianni to give chase after me.

“Azoth!” Shianni called out as I continued to walk towards one of the hidden exits to the Alienage. “What are you going to do? We can help!” She stated, darting out in front of me to stop me in my place.

I had time to think about it. I went to the Dalish because, in theory, they had an army. A clan of warriors that would fight humans at every turn. That idea was still attractive, but it had to be reshaped greatly. The elves in the alienage were not Dalish elves, for better and for worse. The city elves, in large part, were beaten down to the point that they wouldn’t think to bite the hand that beat them. I was only willing to because all I had left was my life and I wasn’t overly attached to it.

Meaning I had to pick those that were already willing to strike back, force them together, and show the rest that we could strike back at the humans.

To that end, I knew exactly where to start. “Is Durian still alive?” I asked, catching Shianni by surprise that’s who I would be asking after. She shared a look with Soris and I followed up the question with, “Does he still run that back alley?”

“He does?” Soris said, though it sounded like a question. “I haven’t seen him much since the lockdown, but I don’t think he’s dead.” It was a start. “Why?”

I didn’t answer in favor of taking off my bear cloak and tossing it to Shianni before I started to scale the ice-cold wall around the alienage. Shianni and Soris muttered curses and quickly started to follow me. I let them even if their presence would make slipping out of the lockdown a little more difficult than it needed to be. I thought there might be guard patrols because the other exits out of the alienage were about as much a secret to the guard as it was to us.

It would seem after two months, their rigorous patrols were far more lax because I didn’t see anyone. Shimmying my way down, I strode towards the docks. The air was far chillier without my cloak, and while Shianni was swimming in it, she looked a lot warmer so I let her keep it. The backstreets at the docks were a labyrinth. One that was designed by mad architects that all hated each other's work. Unless you grew up in them, you’d need a string to find your way back.

But, I did grow up in this city, so it was a simple thing to find the back alley in question. It was ill territory, deep in the heart of the dockside slums. Anyone with a heavy purse would have had it picked long before they reached the dingy back alley. So poor was the territory, in the dead of winter, I saw that Durian and his gang were posted up looking for prey.

Durian hadn’t changed as far as I could tell, though he did look a fair bit leaner. He narrowed his eyes at me in confusion, as if he were trying to tell if he recognized me or not. As I neared, it clicked into place. “Azoth, is that-” He started, only to cut himself off when I punched him in the face, snapping his head to the side. “Maker’s balls!”

“Andraste’s knickers, a little warning would have been nice!” Shianni exclaimed, looking at the two gang members that flanked Durian before they found themselves in a brawl. I paid it no mind and grabbed Durian by the hair before punching him again. He countered with a punch of his own, his fist impacting my mouth and splitting my lip, but I ignored the flash of pain and hit him harder. A knee to the balls bent him over and I tackled him to the ground, sending up fluffs of snow.

“What the fuck is the matter with-” Durian started, his nose bleeding all over his face. I cut him off again by wrapping my hands around his throat, and squeezing. His hands went to mine at this throat, clawing at them as panic seeped into his eyes. I imagine he was very surprised. When I only tightened my grip on his throat, his hands went up to claw out my eyes, but he couldn’t manage it even if the area around my eyes were filled with scratches.

Durian began to go red in the face, his legs kicking out and spasming. Right when his eyes were starting to roll into the back of his head, I let go of his throat and let Durain suck in deep breaths of air. Soris and Shianni were holding their own. I didn’t need to worry about them.

“Please, just sto-” As soon as he spoke, heaving a deep breath, I wrapped my hands around his throat again and started to strangle him. The fear on Durian’s face was complete and utter. A tear leaked out of his eyes while he stared up at me, thrashing in my grip. This time, I didn’t wait for him to pass out before I let go of his throat.

“What is your gang called?” I asked him, grabbing him by the tunic and forcing him to look up at me.

“Wut?” Durian questioned, not at all comprehending, scared out of his wits. “What in the Maker’s name is wrong with you? What’d you go and do that for?”

“What,” I spoke, my voice low and threatening. The expression that Durian gave me was one of a man about to soil his breeches. “Is the name of your gang?”

His mouth opened and closed like a fish, glancing over at the others, who paused their fight at my interrogation. When he looked up at me, he seemed at a complete lost. “We’re… the Rabbits?” A racial slur. Kinder than knife ear, just not by much.

I would work with that. “From now on, the Rabbits are my gang. This alley is mine. You answer to me,” I told Durian. He was afraid of me and my sudden violence. I imagined it was rather shocking. “Do you understand?”

Durian licked his lips, tasting blood that leaked from his nose. He considered his options real quick and gave me my answer. “Alright, shite, the Rabbits are yours. Maker’s balls, Azoth, what happened to you?” He asked me, rubbing his throat when I got off of him. I felt blood dripping from my chin, but I paid it no mind, looking to the other members of the gang of three.

“What other elven gangs are around these parts?” I asked as I offered Durian a hand, making Shianni’s jaw drop when she heard that. Durian climbed back to his feet with some help from me. The fear was fading ever so slightly, but he was still wary. He gave me what I wanted to know -- The Darts, the Southies, The Badhands, and other gangs that really didn’t have a name or territory but were gangs all the same.

I nodded upon hearing the list's completion, “I want you to approach whatever gang you think you can take on and make them join the Rabbits. I’m going to be doing the same,” I told him upon receiving the bewildered look. “There aren’t going to be any more elven gangs after today. There’s only going to be the Rabbits.”

Durian searched my gaze for a long few seconds before he slowly nodded. “Alright. I hear you, boss,” he agreed to the task. I didn’t have his loyalty. I don’t think I ever would. However, right now, he was afraid of me and curious about where he was going. I watched him go, flanked by his two mates that stole glances at me over their shoulders, wided-eyed and pale-faced.

“What,” Soris began, “was that? Azoth, you just became a street king!” He exclaimed, shaking his head.

I took in a deep breath, wiping blood from my chin. I didn’t feel any particularly different. I didn’t feel any surge of royalness or power. The only thing I felt was pain in my knuckles. Punching someone hurt more than I thought it would.

“No. Not yet. But, with the largest elven gang in the city? Yeah, I just might be a street king.”

The first step was taken on a long road and it would be a road I would walk until either it ended… or I did.