Fool's World: The Empress Reversed (ch. 13) (Patreon)

There were a lot of types of idiots in the world. There were almost as many types as there were actual idiots. Stupidity was a rather common trait when you came right down to it, even she herself suffering from it at times. However, it was the first time that Rin had ever witnessed someone that actively thrived off of stupidity.

In a dull state of disbelief, bordering on a sense of awe, she watched Majima grab a man by his face before tossing him into traffic, just in time for him to get run over by a bus. In that same moment, he lashed out with a foot, catching a man that aimed to strike him with a bat in the chest and sending him flying into a wall. He slid down it, holding his chest protectively as he coughed, Majima probably inflicting crushed heart syndrome on him, and Majima followed up the blow with a merciless kick to his face.

It wasn’t just now. Ever since she met Majima, he seemed determined to be as boneheaded and stubborn as possible. From choosing to fight a dozen Yakuza, to fighting a Servant, then picking a fight with Zouken Matou, casually revealing his amnesia, and then… trusting her.

Then while her head was still spinning from all of that, he went and picked a fight with Gilgamesh, the King of Heroes, and now he was fighting the Yakuza again. Majima’s life was a nonstop rollercoaster of ups and downs and she was getting whiplash just as a bystander looking in.

But, Rin couldn’t deny the fact that it was oddly inspiring. There was something incredible about watching an idiot bash his head against a wall and, for some unimaginable reason, watching as the wall gave way first.

“No! No, don’t-” One of the gangsters shouted at the top of their lungs as Majima lifted the man up by his coat and pants, effortlessly lifting him over his head, before throwing him at a street pole. The man slammed into it feet first like a human horseshoe, the pole passing between his legs and slamming into his groin, and from the sound of it, that hurt more than the five-foot drop to the ground. Majima dodged under a bat swing, his hands going to the ground to prop himself up before he started lashing out with powerful kicks that folded everyone around him.

It was a gruesome display. Bones snapped, people shouted in pure agony. In the park, her stomach clenched, tying itself into knots at the extreme violence. Majima didn't pull a single punch. He didn't hold back on anyone. If someone came at him with a knife, then he wouldn't hesitate to use it on them.

As a magus, she walked with death every step of her journey. All it took was one mistake and she could easily die in the pursuit of her research. She had thought she had made her peace with that. Accepted it.

It was an easy thing to say that you were prepared to die, but it was another thing entirely to embrace the threat of death like an old friend.

"He's vulnerable," Archer spoke to her, a faint whisper in her ear as she watched Majima fight. Her heart dropped when one of the Yakuza pulled out a hand grenade, intent on killing Majima even if it cost the lives of everyone around him. Before he could pull the pin, Majima lashed out, catching him in the gut hard enough that he flew away before picking up a street sign and slamming it on top of him.

Rin understood perfectly what Archer meant. Majima sent his Servant off to fight another Servant at Ryuudou temple. Meaning that, as of this moment, he was alone. There was no Servant to leap to his defence. He was exposed, and by killing him, they would eliminate two Servants from the Grail War with a single stroke. Of which, the most powerful class, Saber, would be a non factor. Having Majima as an ally vastly increased their chances, but the fact remained that when their alliance broke down, he would have two Servants to her one.

"No, we can still use him. There will be other chances," Rin argued, giving a pragmatic, magus-oriented reason for sparing Majima's life. Every time Rin saw Majima, he was neck deep in danger.

Archer saw right through her, "I expected you to be more cold hearted," he remarked, scoffing lightly, making her lips thin. He was right about that. He saw the real reason why she didn't murder him in cold blood.

Majima trusted her. He shouldn't. It was pure idiocy. But, he did all the same.

"I owe him. I won't kill him until the debt has been settled," Rin said, giving another false reason. This time, Archer didn't argue with her, but she could feel his doubt. Off in the distance, Rin heard police sirens aproaching. The fight had ended while she and Archer had been talking. Now Majima was going through the pockets of some of the Yakuza.

He looked up from his looting to her, his face marked with some droplets of blood from his enemies. He held up a set of keys with a roguish grin, straightening up and heading to one of the mother bikes parked on the side of the road. "You coming, Rin?" he asked, casually stealing a bike as he swung a leg over the seat and starting up the engine. The question snapped her out of her thoughts, and only now was she realizing that a good dozen men were laying on the ground in agony. Some lucky ones had managed to enter the blissful realm of unconsciousness, but most hadn't.

"Er… right," Rin agreed, jogging forward and getting on the bike with him. She placed her hands on his hips, only for him to grab them and wrap her arms around his stomach. She could feel the solidness of his abs through his shirt and jacket. She also felt an oddly shaped bulge brush against her fingers… "Is that a grenade?" she questioned, nearly falling off when Majima kicked the bike into high gear and fled the scene of the crime. Rin wasn't sure if he would get charged with anything if they had stayed -- technically, he had been defending himself. Just with extreme prejudice.

"Yeah, I snagged a couple. Never know when they could come in handy," Majima pointed out and Rin had a hard time thinking of a way to dispute the logic. She felt the wind rush through her hair, sending her twintails fluttering back behind her, making her hide her face in Majima's admittedly broad shoulders. They blasted through the streets, completely ignoring the speed limit. Archer stuck close by, sprinting across the rooftops in his dematerialized form.

"What are we heading into?" Rin asked, preparing herself for a fight. She had her jewels with her -- the moment Archer told her that he was at her doorstep, she had been prepared to fight him.

Majima shrugged as they slaughtered every rule of the road -- at one point, Rin was certain they were driving on the sidewalk. "I don't know. Nobara just said that they encountered a Servant. The fight hasn't started yet, though, so maybe there won't be one." Rin didn't find that very likely. But, she found it an indicator of Majima's character.

Despite his willingness to fight, he was never the one that started the conflict. He just made sure to finish it. The Servant and Master at Ryuudou temple were likely trying to stall in a bid to escape in the face of Majima's overwhelming advantage. Meaning that if the Grail War was to progress, then it would come down to her and Archer to be the proactive members of their alliance.

They arrived at Ryuudou temple in a fraction of the time it should have taken them to arrive legally. Rin had assumed that Majima would do the normal thing and park the bike at the base of the stairs leading up to the temple. Instead, Rin found herself holding on for dear life, a panicked scream escaping her mouth as Majima popped a wheelie, heading straight for the stairs and rising up them. It was a violent and bumpy ride, each step jarring, but Majima didn't just not slow down. He sped up.

They reached the top of the stairs in a moment, the roar of the engine announcing their arrival as they ran out of stairs and went sailing through the air. Rin couldn't help herself -- she screamed in panic, her eyes going so wide they could have fallen out of her skull. She had only a split second to take in the sight at the top of the stairs, seeing a number of people looking up at them with shock and confusion.

A ginger haired girl, with Rider standing next to her. A blonde royal looking Servant that must be Saber. They stood across from a Servant that had her face covered, but she was clearly a woman based on her curves. And behind her was… Souichirou Kuzuki?! A teacher at their school?!

Just how many illegal magi were hiding in her territory?!

They landed abruptly, the bike skidding to a halt with a screech and filling the air with the awful stench of burnt rubber. All Rin could feel at the moment was her heart hammering at her ribs and the blood thundering in her ears. Majima, on the other hand, casually killed the engine with a flick of his pilfered key. He looked at Kuzuki, his gaze lingering on him for a moment, until…

"Eight out of ten," The ginger haired girl spoke up, giving Majima a small smile.

"Eight? Come on, that entrance was at least a nine out of ten," he argued, completely disregarding the enemy Servant as he got off of his commandeered bike. Rin let out a small sigh of relief, looking to the Servant to see that she had a small frown on her face. Kuzuki gazed at her with a flat look, as if they were in class and not on the cusp of battle. She kept her expression even, as if she had completely expected her homeroom teacher to be a magus.

"A nine out of ten would have needed you to get more air time. Maybe fly over our heads and land in the middle. So, eight out of ten," she continued, crossing her arms as if daring Majima to argue. Majima tsked as he regarded the cloaked Servant for the first time.

"Are we going to fight?" he asked without anything resembling tact. Archer told her that he was in position to take the enemy Servant out when needed. However, the Servant offered a mystifying smile.

"I am Caster," Caster introduced herself, "and as I was just informing your companions, conflict is unnecessary between us." she said, making Rin's lips thin. That was an outright lie. "I have no desire to fight any of you."

Saber seemed to take issue with that, "Master, don't listen to her lies. Casters are known for their deceit. You can't trust her," Saber said, stepping forward and bearing an invisible sword. Rin crushed the jealousy that bubbled up inside her at the sight -- Saber seemed powerful and reliable. More so than her own Servant at any rate. If she had summoned Saber then this entire Grail War would be in the bag!

"I sense you're thinking unkind thoughts, Master," Archer remarked in her ear.

Caster, however, kept that mystifying smile on her face. "Your Servant is not wrong there. But, there is no falsehood in my words -- I will defend myself if needed, but conflict is not needed."

"A lie. The Holy Grail can only be summoned when only one Servant remains," Saber pointed out, pointing out the fatal flaw in every alliance. There could only be one winner. "That is reason enough to slay her, Master." Saber said, making her intentions known as she stepped forward.

Majima frowned at her, "I'm all for fighting someone that's picking a fight with me, but I'm not going to kill someone because of some stupid cup's rules." he said, crossing his arms, and completely ignoring Saber's harsh look. Rin was taken aback by it -- there was very real anger in her gaze. She wanted the Holy Grail desperately. "Don't look at me like that, Saber. There are plenty of good reasons to kill someone, but because a glorified coffee cup says so isn't one of them."

Caster tilted her head, "I don't know if I should be impressed or horrified by your ignorance."

"I'd prefer the former," Majima smoothly responded. "But I expect the latter. As you can see, Saber's pretty riled up. I don't suppose you can give her a reason to not try to kill you?" he asked, giving Caster an even look. Rin's eyes slid to her teacher, wondering if he had his will stolen from him because of Caster. As Saber said, it was a common event -- Casters specialized in magecraft, which made them a very dangerous tool for their Master's to use.

Caster offered a nod, "I do. I said that we have no need to slay any of each other because there is no need. The Magi of this era built a system to summon the greater Grail with the tools that they had. I, however, am from the Age of Gods. I know nothing of magecraft, but my magic would make it a simple thing to summon the Holy Grail. I merely need time."

Rin saw the trap, "Giving Caster time is the last thing we should do." While the scope of magecraft had diminished since the age of gods, the principles remained the same -- time and preparation. The Caster class was at their most dangerous when given those two things, and a powerful Servant, which Caster claimed to be, could easily turn the tides of the Grail War. "We-"

"Could you unbreak the Grail?" Majima asked Caster, bringing Rin up short. She wasn't the only one either.

Saber rounded on her Master, "Of what do you speak of?" she demanded to know, her tone inpatient and cold. "You said nothing of this to me."

The ginger haired girl spoke up, "Because we don't know if it's still broken. What we know is that the fire ten years ago, that left the ground soaked with curses, happened after the last Holy Grail was destroyed. It wasn't because of a wish either, but some kind of muck that spilled out of the Grail. So, something is clearly wrong with it, but we don't know if it's already been fixed or not."

Rin's lips thinned, quickly processing the information. "I never heard anything about that as the Second Owner," she offered the information willingly. This new information complicated things significantly, if it was true. It could be a possibility that the shitty priest simply never told her, which would be completely in character for him. He practically bankrupted her family to impart some stupid lesson about the value of poverty, as if she didn't understand that precious jewels were expensive.

There was the possibility that it was a lie… but Majima didn't strike her as a liar. Rather the opposite, really. He seemed like the kind of person that was too honest for his own good.

"I cannot say anything for certain, but it should be within the realm of my abilities," Caster said, her tone even. "The Holy Grail isn't something that can be tainted so easily. Think of it as cleaning a normal cup -- it simply needs to be cleansed." she said and Rin saw what she was doing. Regardless of if she could or not, Caster was making herself too valuable to kill. Because the Grail could be broken and she was the only one that could fix it. With enough time that could give her the edge in the Grail War.

Caster operated in the realm of uncertainties. It was her best bet. The potential prize was worth taking a risk.

Majima nodded, "Sounds good to me. Rin?" he asked her and Rin could practically hear Saber's teeth grinding together. “We have an alliance, so it’s not just my call.” he said when she shot a look at him. That was annoyingly considerate of him. Annoying because it outed her as another Master. Misdirection was a useful tool. If Caster found out that Majima alone had two Servants then he would become a clear target.

Despite the growing complexity of the situation, they still held the advantage. They had three Servants to her one. Two of them being the Knight Classes.

“I’m willing to accept a non-aggression pact on the condition that you release my homeroom teacher,” she said, making Kuzuki tilt his head while Caster’s smile grew a fraction.

“I am under no compulsion as you seem to fear,” Kuzuki said, and it wasn’t like she was going to believe the puppet that proclaimed that it wasn’t a puppet. “There would be no purpose in enthralling me. The Grail War nor the Holy Grail concern me.” he said in his usual flat and even tone, and that did sound like something she could buy. Magi weren’t in the business of doing unnecessary things.

Majima tilted his head, “So far, all the Masters in this Grail War are an unambitious bunch. I don’t care about the Grail, Rin doesn’t care about the Grail, and you don’t either.” he remarked and that… was actually a really interesting point. Rin only wanted to win the Grail War for bragging rights, the prestige that it would give her, and for a trophy. The Holy Grail chose those that harbored a wish in their hearts that the Grail wanted to grant -- yet four of the seven masters didn’t.

A data point proving that the Holy Grail was broken?

“Are we in agreement?” Caster forged ahead, looking to Majima rather than her. Annoyingly. Majima opened his mouth to speak, but it was the ginger-haired girl that answered.

“I’ll take a vial of your blood,” she said, catching everyone’s attention. “To keep you honest,” she said with a thin smile that betrayed her malicious intent. For her magecraft? Caster was hesitant to agree to such a demand. Understandably so, but she also understood that too much hesitation would betray her intentions to betray them. If circumstances were different, then she wouldn't need to give them a permanent advantage over her.

That was a benefit of having leverage. People didn't get to tell you no.

Caster hesitated a moment longer before offering a curt nod. Rin could practically see the cogs working behind her half covered face, already planning how she would nullify the advantage. The ginger haired girl tossed over a vial to Caster, who caught it. She lingered for a moment, still trying to think of a way out of putting herself at such a disadvantage, but she failed. Using one of her sharp nails, she punctured the tip of her finger before placing it over the vial, slowly filling it with her blood.

"That's plenty," the ginger-haired girl said when the vial was a quarter filled. Caster capped it before tossing it over, but just as the vial left her hands, Archer spoke into her ear.

"We have company," Archer warned, but it wasn't much of a warning because their company arrived a split second later. Rin felt a brush of wind on her face as she prepared herself, and she heard the clash of metal. She hadn't blinked, but she barely caught the brief clash, only seeing a flash of blue and red sparks as Saber slashed out with her invisible sword.

Servants were fast. It sounded like an empty observation, but Servants were well beyond human limitations -- the weakest Servant was more than a match for the strongest human. Majima and her fight with Rider might have given the impression that they could defeat a Servant if pushed, but the idea was laughable. That had only been possible because Shinji was such a terrible master. His dead weight transforming into a chain that served to drag Rider down to the level where they could defend themselves. That fact was driven home when she witnessed a clash of a half dozen blows in a fraction of a second, the noise blurring together until it sounded like a single clash of blows.

A familiar face skidded to a halt nearby, a ruby red spear in his hands and a cocksure grin on his face. He held up his free hand, showing off the vial of blood as he looked directly at Majima, saying nothing.

"Don't suppose you're here to save my ass again?" Majima asked, clenching his fist as he-

"You can't be serious? You're going to fight him?" Rin blurted out, dumbfounded as Majima readied himself to fight with no hesitation. The audacity of it all. If he was this stupid, how had he even managed to live this long?

Lancer smiled as Saber positioned herself between Lancer and Majima. "Can't say that I am. Master's orders are to prevent this little alliance from expanding. I'm all for it -- you do know that this is a Grail War, right?" he asked, sounding oddly annoyed. Then his ruby red eyes slid to Caster, who looked increasingly furious by the second. "If you want this back, then you'll have to back me up!"

Majima stepped before Saber, "Master!" she shouted, reaching out and grabbing him. "Stay behind me. It is my duty to protect you." she told him, and the words seemed to just bounce off Majima's incredibly thick skull.

"No. I owe Lancer my life. If anyone's going to kick his ass, it's going to be me," he declared, his tone uncompromising, and Rin just dragged a hand over her face. This was her ally. What had she been thinking?

Lancer, however, was all for it. He threw his head back and laughed loudly, "What an idiot! I like it! Me and you, yeah?" Lancer said, planting his spear into the ground.

"Master-" Saber protested, but Majima broke himself free from her grip. Something that he could only do because she allowed him to. But not willingly.

"Saber -- I order you not to interfere in my fights," Majima said, holding up his hand, and the command seals there flashed red. However, instead of fading, one of the rings on his command seals shifted. It lined up with the opening of the outer ring, the maze progressing. That was… odd. But she didn't have time to linger on it because her attention was quickly stolen by Majima doing what he did best.

Saber struggled against the command seal, trembling with exertion to disobey as Majima stepped forward out of her reach.

Lancer loved it. He doubled over, laughing so hard that he was clutching his stomach and when he threw his head back, Rin saw that there were tears in his eyes. Archer spoke in her ear as he laughed, "I have a shot."

Rin was tempted to let him take it, but she offered a small shake of her head. Archer wouldn't hesitate to kill Majima in the crossfire. Not that it mattered since he seemed determined to get himself killed all by himself.

"You're so damn dumb! I was worried that there wouldn't be idiots like us in this day and age, but I'm glad I was summoned. It was worth it for that laugh alone," Lancer said, his good cheer clear in his voice, his hands clenched into fists as he prepared for a bare knuckle brawl with Majima. "Try not to die too quickly. I'm expecting more than a one shot from you now."

He was really going to fight him. Majima was really going to fight Lancer. A Servant. A member of the knight class. What in the hell was he thinking? There was being brave, and then there was actively disregarding your life.

Rin looked to Rider, who appeared faintly amused with her suicidal Master. The ginger haired girl simply sighed, rubbing her temples in exasperation. Rin was struck with indecision -- was she seriously just going to stand back and watch Majima get himself killed? Did he really not understand the gap between him and a Servant? They still had the advantage here! Why not use that instead of…!

However, it was then that Rin felt a small tremble race through her. It traveled up her feet, through her body, and made every hair stand on end. It was immediately followed by another. And another. And another. All in a steady rhythm. Almost as if they were the footsteps of a giant.

Rin turned around to face the entrance to the temple while Caster spoke up. "Another Servant entered my bounded field," she informed everyone unhelpfully. Uselessly even, because there was no way it could be anything else. Saber and Rider traded places -- Rider moving to defend Majima while Saber went to guard the entrance, readying her sword since it didn't go against the command she had received.

A second later, Rin saw the head of the Servant and her heart dropped to her stomach. Dark leathery skin, a wild mane of black hair, and eyes that glowed an ominous red. With each step, his height and form was revealed -- eight feet tall with massive, bulging muscles that were borderline grotesque, only wearing a hide skirt that went down to his knees. In his hand was something shaped to the rough appearance of a sword -- it was more of a bolder shaped into a weapon than a regular blade made of steel, iron, or bronze.

What he carried in his other hand made her heart drop from her stomach and find its way into her shoes.

She saw a familiar mane of red hair that on a head that was hung limply in the Servant's grip, his hand so large that he could grip Shirou by the torso, letting his arms and legs drag across the ground. Given that there was no way that this hulking behemoth of a Servant was Assassin, he could only be Berserker.

Majima recognized who it was at the same time she did, abandoning his fight with Lancer, "Shirou!" Majima shouted, alarm and anger in his voice. Shirou didn't respond, simply hanging limply in Berserker's grip as his Master revealed herself.

A small girl dressed in purple Russian winter clothes -- a parka with a matching purple hat. White hair and red eyes, marking her as an albino. There was a joyful smile on her face. "So, you're my brother's big brother?" she questioned, a smile on her face.

Majima strode forward, unafraid, even as the girl leveled a finger at him.

"Kill him, Berserker."