My highschool adventure as a Sith is wrong, as expected (Stage 1.10) (Patreon)

It was impossible to make out what exactly was happening in the flashes of light -- the blaster rays only offering um momentarily flashes in the oppressive darkness, the fire, on the other hand, offered a consistent view at what I’m nearly positive was hell. Dune bugs swarmed up to the imperial squad, screeching as one, the sound echoing throughout the tunnels that were as pleasant as nails on a chalkboard. 

For a moment, I was frozen stiff with a deep fear that turned my blood into ice, my heart went still -- worse than the fear that woke me up earlier today. It was the absolute certainty that if I so much as breathe, then I was going to die. A blaster flash impacted some feet in front of me, offering up a glimpse at what surrounded me. 

Crawling over the small building that I was in was...something. I’m not sure what it was, but all I saw was an arm for the briefest of seconds and it was bigger than me. By a lot. Another blaster bolt slammed down nearby, making me realize something that nearly made my heart jump out of my throat. Slowly, I looked up just in time for a blast of fire from above to illuminate the harsh darkness for a few seconds. 

I was underneath the gigantic dune bug, I felt the vibrations of every step travel through me. The flashes of it that I got hinted just how big it was. It crawled over the building I was in, it’s insectoid legs moving in complete unison before it dropped down in front of me. Distantly, I heard someone screaming and I could only hope that it wasn’t me. It defiantly wasn’t me because the creature in front of me didn’t turn around and eat me in a single bite like I’m absolutely certain that it could. 

The creature let out a screech that left my ears ringing before it took off in the direction of the squad. Now that I had a complete view of them, I realized that it was more than one squad. They fried down from tunnels, maintenance shafts and so on -- no wonder they felt comfortable enough to kick the hornet's nest like they did. There were over a dozen of them, possibly more, or...less because I heard more screaming. 

With painful slowness, I looked over at the source. A lone soldier with a flamethrower fired at a sea of giant cockroaches, but there were just too many. The flames fueled by the burning cockroaches illuminated the soldier as he was swarmed, the cockroaches crawling all over him. He fell, screaming in pain and horror, only to be silenced e silenced when they completely covered him. Some squads were having more success, but…

Swallowing thickly, I turned towards the door that Padawan was hidden behind. Perspective was a funny thing -- looking down, it had seemed impossibly far. Now, looking up at the rising tides on insects, the squads trying to push them back, and one giant insect that was making it way to the other side of the room, spraying acid that liquified what, or who, ever it touched...It was like asking to walk to the moon. 

They hadn’t noticed me, I told myself, forcing my stiff legs to move. They felt so numb that I nearly stumbled with the first step, leaving the relative safety of my building. And they wouldn’t notice me, I told myself, taking another step forward. 

Padawan had told me to calm my mind, and maybe there was something to that. Small events that I had never thought about made much more sense -- back when I first came to the basement, I spent a lot of time hiding. Sometimes, it didn’t work, but there were times when people who should have noticed me didn’t. Then there was Twe’like, who had looked right over me when apparently force sensitives could feel the presence and emotions of others. Padawan had mentioned that she couldn’t feel me with the force…

That knowledge gave me the courage to take another step forward. I made myself as small as possible, wanting to go unnoticed, and when I didn’t immediately die a horrible, brutal death, I took another. Once I was away from the safe haven of the building, I was surrounded by chaos. Blaster bolts fired at random screams echoed through the massive chamber and the only sound louder than my heartbeat thundering in my ears was the horrid screeches coming from the...hundreds of insects. 

They surged forward from their nests, so many that they covered the floor if they weren’t crawling on top of each other. There was no way I could avoid them. Keeping my foot to the ground, I scooted it forward and felt the insects crawl over my feet. Dimply, as I pushed myself to take another step, I recalled one time I had nearly broken my hand when I freaked out when one cockroach managed to crawl up my pants leg without me noticing. 

One day, all of this would be just a bad dream. That thought that I would make a reality rang out in my head like a bell as I ignored the chaos around me, the people dying, the blaster rays coming a little too close, the heat and the insects crawling over my feet. The roaches continued, as if I were a rock in a river, they either went around me or over, but they ignored me in favor of others. 

One day, I was going to go home, to my little sister, and the days here were going to be a distant memory. That thought was what kept me going after I found myself in this new life. It got me through slavery, it got me through my escape and it got me through all of the lowes and further lows I experienced over the years. 

One day, I would go home. And there was absolutely nothing in this galaxy, this universe, that was going to stop me. 

Another blaster bolt slammed nearby, my heart nearly jumped out of my mouth, but I kept going. That desire to go home, my real home, kept my feet moving even when the rest of me was frozen with fear. Cold sweat soaked my robes, dripped off my brow and if I could hear myself breathing then I was probably hyperventilating. But I pressed forward, making my way up an ancient ladder that would take me up to the next level. 

I felt the ancient metal groan underneath my weight, but it supported it all the same. With painful slowness, I crawled up the ladder, my hands shaking so badly that it took a couple of tries to grab the next step. The closer I got, the louder the sounds of chaos got, as did the screams. Taking in a deep breath, I peeked my head over-

I nearly fell backward when a grown dune bug slammed into the grate walkway hard enough that the entire thing shook directly in front of me. I came face to face with it, so close I could smell its acidic breath and it’s beady black eyes gazed into mine. Only after a few seconds of waiting for it to viciously murder me did I realize that the dune bug wasn’t moving. It was dead. I trembled so badly that I was practically vibrating, but I still pushed myself up so I was standing on the walkway. 

“We need reinforcements,” I heard a voice cry out nearby. “Block off that tunnel!” Another shouted at the same time, a squad laying down as much firepower as they could to push back the swarm of insects. It was hard to tell, but I think they were doing a good job of it based on the piles of corpses. 

My gaze landed on those that weren’t so lucky, bile building up in the back of my throat. I saw bits and pieces of flesh, armor ripped or melted...It was hardly the first dead body that I had ever seen, but they were easily the most mutilated. I turned away from them, only for a thought to strike me. 

They had com units in their helmets. If we had them, then we could be one step ahead of them. All I would have to do is…

Right. I’ve come this far, might as well go all the way. 

Swallowing back bile, I walked towards the mangled corpses, forced to swallow back more vomit when I saw the bugs were eating it. With trembling hands, I grabbed the pitch-black bucket helmet and pulled it off, revealing a man in his late teens or early twenties, his face frozen in a horrified grimace...I stared at him right up until a baby giant cockroach crawled out of his eye. 

I...should...grab another one. Just in case we get separated, or something, I thought numbly as I walked to another corpse and took its helmet. This time I couldn’t bring myself to look down at him before I continued forward, bile sloshing in my stomach with every step. 

It took forever to reach the door, and as I neared, and for the last few steps time slowed to a crawl. However, once I was close enough, I threw the door open before throwing myself through it. I saw the blue hue of Padawan’s beam saber, she was still leaning against the wall, ready for combat. I might have spared a worry that she would strike me down on reflex, but I would welcome it over being in that place. 

“What’s going on out there,” Padawan asked as I slammed the door shut behind me, dropping the helmets and hunching over as I heaved. Sweat poured off of me, plastering my hair to my head, my heart hammered at my ribs hard enough that it was causing physical pain, and there was blood in my adrenaline system. 

JR-1 beeped at me, sounding concerned as I went to drag my forearm over my forehead, only to realize there was a bug on me. Panicking now that I could, I frantically brushed it off me, swatting all over my body to make sure that I was clean. I reached out with the force, realizing just how many smaller bugs clung to my robes and I lashed out. I ripped off my robe, grabbing each and every single bug and crushed them as a sob ripped from my throat. 

It was pathetic, but I couldn’t stop the tears stinging at my eyes. I could still feel them crawling all over-

I flinched when I felt something touch my shoulder, whipping around to see it was Padawan. Her eyes were filled with concern and regret, her mouth open to say something but words seemed to have failed her. I must look pathetic right now, huh?

Wiping away sweat, I looked away. “The empire followed us here, and they disturbed the nest. The bugs are freaking out, but I found a way out of here,” I said, trying to control my panicked breathing. “And I grabbed these so we could listen in to their communications,” I said, hating how weak my voice sounded. 

But, I didn’t want to wear the helmet of a man who had died. Without another word, I went to pick up the helmets to tear out the coms units, but I realized just how badly my hands were shaking, I wouldn’t be able to work like this. I reached out with the force, feeling its presence a comfort that I could only describe as a thick blanket on a cold winter morning. It helped more than words could say as I lifted the helmets up and began to take them apart. 

However, before I could start, Padawan stepped in front of me, crouching down as she grabbed my shaking hands. Her eyes were filled with concern, so much so I couldn't look at her. "Are you okay?" She asked in a soft voice, despite the answer being obvious. 

The truth settled heavily on my tongue, but I swallowed it back down. Instead, despite how obvious it was, I lied. Because if I told the truth if I took a moment to...think, then...we didn't have time for my personal issues. 

"I'm fine," I lied, taking my hands away from hers. I didn't need to look at her to know that she didn't believe me. But that didn't matter, "we need to hurry up and get out of here. While they're distracted," I stated, moving past my new phobia of bugs to the issue at hand. Padawan sighed softly, but her braid jingled in a way that told me she nodded. Thankfully, she let the matter drop, letting me continue to rip the come from the helmets. 

It only took a moment to fashion an earpiece with a mic dangling from a cord. I gave one to Padawan and kept another for myself. 

"When you have to speak, press this button. It'll switch you to a different frequency, but I'm sure they're able to pick up on it, so no sensitive information," I said, distracting myself from what happened. And what was about to happen. "And they're shortwave radios, so if you get too far away in this mess of tunnels then they won't work." 

"Roger Roger," Padwan confirmed, putting in the earpiece as I did the same. I turned around, swallowing a lump in my throat as I faced the door that separated me from hell. JR-1 jumped on to my shoulder, letting out a beep as he did so. Padawan seemed to have recovered enough of her strength to stand on her own, telling me that I had been gone for some time. 

"Keep calm and make yourself as small as possible, okay? That's how I got through it," I told Padawan, my heart, that just started to calm, picked back up again. "Don't panic, no matter what, or...or you're going to die." 

Padawan rested a hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze that reassured me a lot more than it did her. "I understand," she said as I took a bracing breath. I curled my hands into fists, trying and failing to prepare myself for what was to come. For what I was about to walk into. Again. 

Then, I reached out with the force and forced the doors open, revealing hell once again, only this time there was a change. Standing directly in front of me was an imperial soldier, his black armor making him blend in with the heavy darkness, his back towards us as he fired down at the bugs. If there was any moisture in my mouth left, it would have vanished at the sight. 

Padawan made to move, but I stopped her with a hand. He wasn't holding the line alone. He couldn't be. And, as if to confirm my thoughts, another soldier appeared next to him, a heavy pack on his back while he carried a flame thrower in his hands. "Left side, left side," one of them called out before a torrent of flames illuminated the darkness, revealing dune bug that was making its way to them. It spat a torrent of acid, some of it landing on the floor that began to steam where the acid ate at it. 

I looked at Padawan to find that she was gripping her beam saber with a death grip, glaring at the soldiers. However, it looked like she was following my lead. Good. That was good. Just...what exactly was my lead?

Summoning up whatever courage I had left, I took a step forward, crossing the threshold, coming so close to the soldiers I could reach out and touch them. Then I turned to the left, heading in the direction of the exit, walking behind a squad of the soldiers. There were ten of them in total, all lined up and firing down into the waste treatment plant -- the flamethrowers focused on keeping the giant cockroaches at bay, while the ones with blasters targeted the big ones. I saw the corpse of the giant bug that had crawled over me, and I was glad for it. I was subscribing to the Star Troopers motto of the only good bug is a dead bug. 

Padwan followed after me, keeping a hand on my shoulder. She squeezed down on it hard enough to hurt, but I welcomed it. Anything to distract me from where we were. We walked behind the line, listening to them call out orders to bring their attention to where a high priority target was. They fought like a well-oiled machine -- there weren’t many other squads left, from what I saw, but these guys weren’t just holding the line. From the looks of it, they were pushing it. 

Every moment, I expected them to turn around to notice us, only for us to take another step, inching towards a ladder that would take us-

As if he could sense my thoughts, one of the soldiers glanced over his shoulder. In the low light, it was almost impossible to tell, but I’m absolutely certain that our gazes met. There was no moment of hesitation or anything like there was in the movies. As soon as he saw us, he turned around, aiming his blaster in my face, “Priority targets are behind us!”

I went still as the others turned around to look at us, but that lapse of concentration cost them. The insects surged, seizing the opportunity. A large dune bug jumped up, closing the distance -- it was going to jump on the one sticking a gun in my face. An all too fresh image of a mutilated corpse appeared in my mind, making my heart go still in my chest. I…

“Behind you!” I warned, pointing, and the soldier reacted since, apparently, that wasn’t the oldest trick in the book in this hellhole. The soldier turned around, firing at the insect and in that same moment, Padawan reacted. She grabbed me by my shirt and hauled me forward, practically carrying me with what I’m assuming was the force. 

“They’re getting away!” I heard one shout, taking a shot at us as we jumped off the platform. I watched the ruby red blaster bolt rushed towards us...towards me. Again. It rushed towards my chest, and I knew the blast was going to kill me. That was...hilarious in a brutal way. No death flag, or anything -- I walk through hell to get taken out by a potshot. Fitting for me, I suppose-

Before the bolt could make contact, Padawan shifted mid-air, shielding me with her body as we sailed down to the ground. She cried out in pain, going stiff. The blast would have hit her in the back, near the spine, and with that we fell a couple of stories, plummeting to the ground. Even still, despite the pain that she was in, Padawan made sure that she hit the ground first with a solid thump. 

“No,” I breathed, looking at Padawan, fearing the worst. She saved me. Again. Her grip went limp, JR-1 beeping in panic. 

“They’re down there! Break off and pursue!” I heard the soldiers shout over the sounds of insects.

I didn’t have long. Pulling myself from Padawan’s grip, I looked her over, a hand going to her neck to find a pulse. She was alive but unconscious. Good. I grabbed her arm and slung her over my shoulder, picking her up and moving as fast as I could. The soldiers had the bulk of the insect’s attention, but I didn’t want to risk hanging around any longer than I had to. My eyes found the tunnel, a large pipe that would take us straight to my base. 

“They’re going that way!” I heard the team that was sent to chase us yell out. They were close. Too damn close. 

“Wha…?” I heard Padawan mutter as I pushed my legs as fast as they would go, “what’s…”

She was conscious. That was good. That was…that was good. I recognized what this flag was. It was impossible not to. We were surrounded, being pursued, and one of us was injured. This could only end one of two ways, and no matter how I tried to look at it, there wasn’t a third option for us. 

Either none of us escaped...or one of us did. 

“This tunnel will lead you right to my base,” I told her, making that decision. She saved my life. More than once. She gave me a chance to leave this planet...and even if I didn’t, that chance was more than anything I could have expected. She was the one on a mission to save millions of lives, to end a galactic war, and save the Republic. She was the Protagonist...I was just a Side-Character. 

“What?” Padawan questioned her voice clearer but still pained. 

“I don’t know how long it’ll take you to reach it, but all you have to do is go straight. JR-1 should be able to judge the distance for you,” I continued, looking around. We neared a hive-like structure, and because all of the insects were attacking the soldiers, that meant it was empty. I dove inside, the opening easily large enough and I could swear I could hear the sounds of footsteps behind me. The soldiers were getting closer. 

*Booop?* JR-1 asked, not understanding what I was getting at either. I came to a stop before I placed Padawan down, looking at her as she stared at me uncomprehendingly. She...really must have trusted me a lot to not immediately assume that I was leaving her behind to save my own skin. I suppose I had better make sure that I was worthy of that trust.

“I’m going to lead them away,” I told her bluntly, and it was only then that it clicked what was happening. Padawan shook her head, opening her mouth, but I continued. “Stay here until they pass you by. Follow this, and you’ll be off this planet in no time.”

“No, I-” Padawan started to argue, but the sound of a blaster bolt slamming into something cut her off. The soldiers were just outside. 

“Goodbye,” I told her, standing tall for perhaps the first time in my life. I turned my back to her and started running. My steps felt surprisingly light as I sacrificed myself for the greater good. To my surprise, I didn’t feel the dread or fear of death that had nearly paralyzed my earlier. My mind felt clear, my breathing was steady, my body ached, but I could move well enough. 

The term sacrifice has certain contentations to it. Movies, books and video games glorified the self-sacrifice, to die for the sake of another. To ignore the built-in survival instincts, to overcome thousands of years of evolution, to die a hero’s death…

But, if you look at the word sacrifice, it specified absolutely nowhere that dying was necessary. 

I wouldn’t die here. Not in this hellhole, and not in this universe. I was going to make it home. No matter what. 

“There he is!” I heard one of them shout as I lead them away from Padawan. I glanced over my shoulder to see three soldiers were chasing after me. I swallowed thickly, running even faster as I picked a direction that wasn’t the exit. My gaze found a tunnel much like the one we had first entered the sewers.

It was devoid of any living insects or soldiers, but there were so many corpses that the tunnel was nearly blocked off. I ran towards it, my feet carrying me as fast as they could. Blaster fire slammed all around me, missing me by inches, but I zigzagged around the bolts, not offering up a convenient shot. 

I threw myself onto the ladder, sparks raining down on me when a blaster bolt hit the ladder above me. I clenched my eyes shut and kept climbing up, ignoring how the glowing red metal burned my hand as I forced myself to keep moving. To stop was to die, and I would not die here. Of all the times to feel determined, this was it. 

“Stop where you are-!” One shouted, taking another shot at me as I reached the top of the ladder. As I did, I heard my coms unit cackle in my ear. To my surprise, it wasn’t one of the soldiers that spoke, but Padawan. 

“I’ll come back for you,” she promised, her voice thick with emotion and pain while static nearly made her incomprehensible. I could only hope that meant she was going down the tunnel so all of this wouldn’t be for nothing. “Whatever you do, don’t die. I’ll rescue you, no matter what,” she swore, and I heard JR-1 beep his agreement. 

I didn’t have time to respond as I ran towards the tunnel, crawling over corpses with the soldiers hot on my heels. Their legs were longer, and they weren’t exhausted. I had to think of something fast, or they were going to-

My heart fell when I realized why all the soldiers had died here instead of falling back. It was because they couldn’t. The tunnel had collapsed, offering up no exit for them to escape. Or, an exit that I could use to escape. 

I whipped around, intending to run out of the tunnel to find someplace else, only for the soldiers to block the exit. They trained their blasters on me, approaching slowly. I was trapped. 

“I’ll come back for you. I promise. Just hold on until then.”

I held up my hands in surrender, letting the soldiers capture me, knowing that there was nothing else I could do but hope that Padawan was telling the truth. 

But, hope is a funny thing. It’s as necessary for survival as breathing and eating. Hope, when believed strongly enough, could keep a person going when they had nothing -- no food, no pride, nothing. It could sustain them, keep them going despite the odds. I knew that better than anyone because it was the hope that I would see my little sister again that kept me going for years. 

But, hope...is a lot like a dream. Just because you work towards it, if you give every single last drop of blood, sweat and spit that you have, it didn’t mean that that hope, that dream, would become reality. 

I held out hope that Padawan would fulfill her promise and save me for an entire year. 

But she never did.