Patreon Newsletter #5 (Patreon)

Hey team Do Go (Patre)On!

How are you all? What’s that? You’re great? Of you course you are. You’re all fantastic people.

Dave “Festive Boy” Warneke here, gearing up for our most festive weekend of the year. What a time to be a live.

I love podcasts. Not just doing this one, but listening to them. Some of my favourites seeing as you asked include Answer Me This (long running UK pod where they answer questions sent in from the audience), Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown (ridiculous live panel game show) and Don’t You Know Who I Am? (Australian produced quiz show hosted by our friend Josh Earl. I love it and was lucky enough to be on episode 20 and 33)

One of my other favourites is Radiolab. Oh man is it good, it’s an incredibly well produced science show. On Saturday night here in Melbourne I was lucky to see one of the shows hosts Jad Abumrad do a live Q&A. Hearing him speak about the way the show is produced and the production that goes into it (he’s also a musician and sound designer) really inspired me.

Afterwards I had a few beers with my housemate (also a sound designer) and we started talking about how cool it would be to make a podcast with heaps of production. We got a little carried away. Here are some of the ideas that didn’t make the cut (but that I still hold the copyright to just in case they one day seem feasible):


BAKERY BASTARD

A podcast where I challenge country bakers to a pie off. We each make a pie and serve them to a tasting panel for judgement. If I win - I get to keep their bakery, if they win - I give them a small silver medal.

WHAT’S THAT SOUND?

A sound is played to me and four guests explain what it is. One of them is telling the truth and three are lying. No matter how improbably it always turns out to be  a fart.

DETECTIVE DETECTIVE

A serial drama where a detective with the surname Detective (played by me) solves already open and shut cases to really make sure no one missed anything.  I’m “taking out the trash that’s already been in landfill for many years.” My sidekick is a cat name Jeremy Irons (no relation).


RIVERDANCE RIVER SMANCE?

A documentary series where I travel to Ireland with Jess Perkins and meet hundreds of aspiring River Dance artists to see if it can make me respect them. I attend a show and the series ends me with a standing ovation and tears in my eye (tears of boredom).

DESK JOKEY 2.0

Real life jockeys trade places with office workers. Theme and moral TBC.

Please let me know which of the above you would like me to make and I will get on it ASAP!


THE TURN WITH JESS ‘BOP’ PERKINS


Hey gang! I was going to give you a #JessHealthUpdate but I feel like I've really complained enough lately. So I'll save it for another day. (Ooooo bit of sizzle! Is Jess going to die? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK)

I was chatting to my parents the other day and we were talking about my older brother, Michael. I'll call him Mikey. I'm the only person in the world who calls him that. If anyone else did I think he'd set them on fire. ANYWAY. Mikey and I get along really well, he's really funny and we riff a lot and have a good time. But we're not "mates". We don't hang out or do things together, we see each other at Mum and Dad's place and that's about it.

And I mentioned that to Mum and she very astutely said "well you're seven years apart, you've always been at completely different stages of your life. It's normal! But now that you're adults you can form a friendship". So wise. Then Dad pipes in. "You've got different interests! He's always off camping, shooting and riding his dirt bike!" He listed like eight more things. My Dad doesn't notice ANYTHING so I was shocked. So I said "out of curiosity, Dad. What are MY interests?" And very seriously he said ".... books.... socialising..... comedy.."

 I do like reading but I can't remember the last book I read. "Socialising" is the most vague term ever. And comedy is kinnddaaaaa my job now, Pops! So I'm up for adoption, if anyone is interested. I am toilet trained and make a mean veggie risotto. Enquire within

MATT’S TOP FIVE

Mmmmmeeeerrrrrrryyyyy Christmas everyone! Fuck I love this time of year, summer is here and the temperature in increasing, cheerfulness of strangers at the shops is unceasing, the new Star Wars movie is releasing, the sheep down on my cousin's farm are fleecing (rhyming is a fun time)... I just saw the new Star Wars movie and I thought it was pretty good... I had been told it was one of the best ever, so maybe it didn't blow me away cause I was expecting it to blow me away. I won't go into it so I avoid spoilers... I'm just listening to this week's Weekly Planet podcast now to help me understand if I actually did like it or not. It's handy to have Maso around to help with such things.

I genuinely do love this time of year. If Dave is 'the festive boy' I reckon I'm the... 'even more festive boy'? And that's pretty fucken festive. You've given me some pretty great suggestions for my little 'top 5' segment, but I thought it appropriate to go with 'top 5 favourite Christmas songs' as suggested by Chrissy Dellar... which is a very apt name... cause it's Chrissy time (do other countries shorten Christmas to Chrissy?) Aaannyyhow, here are my top 5:

5. Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis - Tom Waits

4. A Christmas Duel - Cyndi Lauper (and the Hives)

3. Father Christmas - the Kinks

2. The Fairytale of New York - The Pogues (and Kirsty MacColl)

1. How to Make Gravy - Paul Kelly

If you you wanna hear these tracks, I've put them on a Spotify playlist here: 

Alexander Williams also asked for a festive top five, 'top 5 Aussie Christmas traditions other countries wouldn't understand'. This is a tough one cause we've borrowed most of our Christmas traditions from the northern hemisphere, like having a roast lunch, Santa Claus and other wintery things that don't really make sense in the scorching hot Australian summer. I'd started making a top five when I realized that our friends in the Aunty Donna sketch group just released this video about the differences of Australian Christmases... check it out

Wishing you all a merry Christmas friends, hope you have an absolute ball tearer!

-Matt

THIS WEEK’S TOPIC…

Read on for this week’s topic…

This week Jess reports with a Christmas Special. She put the call out on Twitter for topic suggestions and the one that kept coming up was Krampus, the evil goat demon who terrifies children at Christmas. He’s like a really mean Santa. It was a lot of fun. That's out tomorrow.

Our Patreon Christmas cards are in the mail! Send us a photo of you and the card when you get it. That would be awesome.

Love to you all.

Do Go (patre)On!