12.29.2016 (Patreon)

Yesterday I bought two bags of potatoes and had to call a taxi as it's quite a difficult thing for a ninety pound human to carry over ten pounds of potatoes for a mile. I sat ouside the market haphazardly draped and propped in a chair with bags of food all piled on me. My mom gave me a visa gift card and I bought potatoes and ingredients for sandwiches.

My friend John texted me and said, "But are you sure you don't dye your bush lol?" in reference to my daily, what the hell mail of the day . For all to know, no, I do not dye my pubic hair and I wouldn't even know where to begin on that front. I don't even know how to shave properly much less dye my hair. I've actually never had my hair dyed at all as my parents wouldn't allow it and by the time I was grown I didn't care to do it anyway. At best it seemed like a waste of $10 for box dye, and at worst, I imagined I'd suffer the same fate as Anne Shirley with her green hair.  And so my hair as been naturally red in multiple areas for the entirety if its existence.

I think I've been getting a bit disillusioned recently...not with art or creating or meeting people or traveling. But I've been getting disillusioned with what some people appear to find appropriate, how they talk about others, how they talk about me as a nude model.  To a certain extent, I have to trust people at least a little until given any cause otherwise. I have to hope they'll be kind and treat me well if I'm not going to go through life upset or far too cynical. 

I'm thinking of, in the next year, cutting back a bit on shoots. On a typical trip, I'll book anywhere from 15-20 shoots in 5-7 days. I'm thinking of doing around 5-10 from now on as I'm just finding myself mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I get so busy I've been bad about checking out references properly, and I've had a few shoots at the end of this year that have left me a bit upset due to artistic differences - not the sort of difference that's like amending expectations a bit or gently compromising, but rather it's like expecting me to cross the Pacific in a dinghy. There are simply differences that cannot be compromised. So, I've decided for my own well-being to no longer take shoots that are not aesthetically pleasing to me or where a photographer implies that he will push my limits at all. 

The good news about that is, I can better focus on my own photography and art. I'm going to open up a print shop soon and will begin focusing on that quite a bit in 2017 - along with a new tier level that will include a discount on all prints I sell. I sent out prints for the $25 level today, with a special extra in each envelope. I'm shooting with two models in the next week and will have that work to share as well.

Other than this little barrage, I have cuddled with cats since being home. I've missed them quite a lot lately while traveling. So it's been all the cuddles. 

The photo above was from a road trip in California with my friend John (yes, the same John as above), or as he's known online, Fotokammer . This was on our long drive to the Lassen Cinder Cone and I made him take this tourist photo for me. I've decided that what I will do for the photos like this and all the other little snapshots, is that there will be a dropbox folder labeled by month and year that I will link to - just like all the other sets. But, I will continuously add to it, creating a new folder each month, as I'm traveling and will just post the link when I make updates. I hope that works :)

I hope you're all having beautiferous holidays! Tomorrow I'm doing self portraits and will upload tomorrow evening!