Journal Entry | September 24, 2018 (Patreon)

I've now been home for over a week. I've been working a decent amount around NYC and New Jersey and working on my travel schedule and filling in bookings. I leave again on Saturday to work in North Carolina. I'm looking forward to certain aspects of that trip, but I'm not super excited to travel again at the moment.

I've started filling in more bookings with local painters as well, so that will help me stop traveling quite as much I think. Thankfully - I've been getting a bit burnt out to be blunt about it. Since I started modeling and traveling full time, I've noticed a bit of a decline in my personal health in multiple ways. I don't talk about that publicly, and I think most models who do still never attribute any of the issues to certain facts about this job. But traveling on a continuous basis is not good for you. Being on airplanes all the time is terrible for circulation, not having decent access to clean places and showers all the time is not good, being stressed out about traveling is not good, constantly feeling as if you're in a state of upheaval is not good, not having a decent home life with friends and family is not good, having a ridiculous sleep schedule is not good, not having the ability to exercise on a regular and consistent basis all the time is not good, not having a decent way to always have healthy food and cook is not good, etc. 

It's fine, because I made the choice to do this. But even simple things are stressful. I have these wipes that I sometimes use when traveling and I don't have access to a shower. Well, I got a rash on my body from them. If I had a normal shower to use, that wouldn't happen. 

I've gained 10 pounds since I started modeling for whatever reason - I think it's a combination of stress and not having a regular eating schedule with healthy foods. 

So, scheduling more with painters and other artists in the area locally would be great. I think I'd start to feel more normal again.

I've kind of been dealing with a lot of annoying things over the past week - printing issues with a local company, mail issues, technical issues of various sorts. But, other than that, it's been pretty nice. I ended up getting my money for the stolen camera back from Amazon thankfully! That was around $200 that I was worried about not getting refunded for. And I ordered the camera from a different place instead this time - so hopefully it will actually get delivered! I'm going to stay home all day on that day to make sure I actually receive it haha. I'll also be in NYC on Wednesday and will simply pick up film there to shoot self portraits before I leave for North Carolina. 

Scheduling with certain photographers has also become so tiring after a while. Some people are so concise and easy to book with. And others are ALL OVER THE PLACE. I have no clue what they are trying to do, why 20+ emails is necessary for them to figure out how/when they want to shoot, what time, etc. I think I'm going to start ignoring email threads like that, because it's just insane to me how difficult simple communications are for certain people. I very rarely tend to deal with this, but when it's someone I've already worked with a couple of times, I'll sometimes try. And I regret it, every time. Also, I'm never sure what to say when I'm traveling somewhere out of state and I get the question: where should we shoot? Or, do you have an outdoor location for me? 

How would I? That's a silly question. 

I'll stop complaining about that, but it never ceases to amaze me when I get that question.

I've also been a bit overwhelmed with figuring out new camera equipment! New equipment is good, but also I'm challenged with technology haha. I feel like a little old lady trying to figure out new stuff. And I can tell winter is on the way because the sun is disappearing very quickly in the evenings! And that is terrible! But it's okay, I guess I'll have to shoot in the morning (said, sort of as a joke since I'm horrible at waking up early).

But yes, in any case, I sent out prints for the month! I also have new self portrait and a new set I'll be posting tomorrow by Eva Selesin (who took the photo above).

I hope you're all having a good start to the week!