Journal. April 2, 2018. (Patreon)

It's strange to think it's already April...I think especially in the past few weeks I've somewhat lost track of time for some reason. I'm working on putting together March's book, and I just sent out prints today. I got home from Chicago, and my sleep schedule has been completely bizarre for the past few days. I edited all of the travel photos (almost 200 of them haha), and those will be posted tonight.

I actually need to start looking for an apartment to move into in June - I'm moving to Jersey City this summer, right across the Hudson River from NYC. I've been casually looking for a few months, but it really dawned on me that I need to find a new place when the rental company I'm with now told me they're sending someone to my place to take photos for promotional purposes. So, it's become imperative that I find something.

I think it will be a good move though...I'll be able to model for more art classes, and that's been a long term goal. I mostly do photo modeling to support myself due to the higher pay, but it's not as consistent as modeling for art classes. And I can model for art classes throughout my life as opposed to losing work as I progress into my 30s and 40s. So, this move will make that a lot easier. I've been saving to buy a place to live, and I'm not entirely certain where I'll settle permanently. But if I like Jersey City, I might buy a small place there in 2019 or 2020. I've also thought recently about moving to Europe. My family settled in the US in 1900s, and I'm third generation Irish American - my great grandmother came here from Ireland. So, technically, according to Irish citizenship laws, I could obtain citizenship and get an EU passport. I've thought about moving to Europe as well basically. I'd likely miss the US though.

The new FOSTA/SESTA bill that might get passed is also super stressful to think about. I know a lot of people know nothing about this bill, but it essentially is barring any exchange of sexual services for money. But, the wording is vague, so what has ended up happening so far is that Craigslist shut down the personals section, reddit has been banning subreddits, sex workers of all types (nude models included) have been having their twitters and tumblrs shadowbanned or deleted, skype has made it against the rules to use "inappropriate" language or to do anything sexual/nude, google has been deleting content off of google drive and people's email accounts, among other things. The bill is supposedly to prevent sex trafficking, but what is actually happening is sex workers can no longer screen clients, talk online about their jobs, etc. I have no doubt that nude models (which, in my mind is a form of sex work) will be affected if this law goes into place. 

I know that a lot of people try to say that nude modeling, especially artistic nude, is not sex work. And I might agree if I lived in France or something (even then though, French photographers are known for trying to sexually use their models so...hmmmm...), but in American society, this is sex work. The nude body is sexual to people, so nudity is sexual. All nudity. So it's sex work. I can't go in public and just talk about my job. The people who hire me are, by and large, hiring me because they think I am attractive. I can sell nude photos of myself because the people paying find me attractive. There's an element of sexuality there, always. And I'm completely fine with this, and I am not insecure about it. I'd be delusional to deny it is the case. I'm actually very, very disappointed in models who refuse to stand up and spread the word about this bill or acknowledge that we do some amount of sex work. It's also disappointing that they won't acknowledge it because we all know girls who are prostitutes as well. There is overlap in the art modeling community between girls who just model (like I do) and girls who sell cam shows/sexual services. So it's gross to me that so many are basically brushing it off as no big deal. It's sad. 

Not to mention, if you enjoy seeing nude work online, watch pornographic content, watch cam shows, etc, this will affect what you can see. And from that end, this bill is limiting free speech. It's an attack on the first amendment...and no one cares. Or they seem not to. Or they don't even know about it. It's a bit distressing. 

I'll get off my soapbox though for now haha...

I'm sitting at home relaxing for a few weeks basically, doing a lot of work on here, and then I'll be in Canada! I'm going to Toronto, Ottawa, Quebec City (first time!), and then Montreal (one of my favorite cities I've been to). I'm booking up pretty quickly at this point, which makes me happy. Canada is rough because the exchange rate is really awful, so my rate ends up being so much lower per hour than in the States. Sometimes I wonder why I go to Canada every year hahaha. And I have no answer. It just sort of ends up on my schedule, and then I book up, and then I can't cancel, and it's just there. 

Oh also! I finally made a real website! If you want to see, feel free to check it out: http://www.livsage.net/

It took me forever to put this together...I am NOT at all technically gifted. I'm not good at doing internet things at all. So I feel somewhat accomplished for putting this all together. I'm not accomplished for that, but I feel like it haha.

Okay...well, if I think up more stuff I will write it later! And I'll have my massive folder of travel photos up soon too!