A Fair Trade, update (Patreon)

Chapter 3

A chill morning breeze ruffles my fur and sets it standing on end down the bare patch on my belly.

The first moment into wakefulness today is me curling up into a tighter ball trying to get back to sleep.

Who made the winter so damn cold?

A window was open somewhere in the room, they don't like to keep the big one open.

I mean it's tempting, but I'm not stupid, that's a long drop.

Outside smells wake me up, that horrible smell of machine and oil, it's not as bad at night but once you smell it in the morning there's no ignoring it.

I reluctantly get up, stumbling a bit as I will life back into my legs, I notice that they're kind of awkward, my stride is off. Stiff?

I must've slept on them weirdly as they're a little strange, I can't quite put my finger on it.

I amble over to the bathroom still puzzled but choosing to ignore it, will probably just go away in a little bit anyway.

Walking into the bathroom I'm posed with another puzzle, I look blankly at the sink, then to the cupboard above it and the shelves next to that.

Did I come in here for something?

The mirror caught my eye as it showed me in it, and I've always had a strange kind of interest in my own image.

I smile at myself trying to see my good angle when it hits me, teeth!

Clean teeth DUH!

I look at the place I usually keep that thing, you know that thing, it's noisy.

Teeth cleaner? Whatever.

It's annoying but necessary like so much stuff.

I look around for it but can't seem to find it.

It takes me longer than I'd like to admit before I realized I wasn't sure what I was looking for.

There are many things that met the image I had in my mind of it, some soft, some hard. One thing, long and thin narrow at one end I recognize as related but there's nothing to it that...like...does something.

I squeeze it experimentally, nothing.

One end has a loose bit like a hard flap.

I force a claw in and pry it open to find that it was indeed related to teeth cleaning. but none of this feels right.

I know this...it's meant to go on the thing that cleans.

Subconsciously my eye is drawn to a corner with a small huddle of similarly shaped objects.

I reach over the sink to grab at one.

This felt better, I smile, I've figured it out. This was the answer.

On closer look it actually has a bit of a different shape to the others. I saw the business end of it and recognized it. "Ah". I say aloud

"Brush"

I click in the small round nodule halfway down. I knew it was noisy but holy crap it scares the hell out of me. It's almost more than I could bare to not just drop the damn thing on the ground.

I awkwardly lever it in to my reminding myself this is normal despite every fiber of my me being firmly against this action.

Now my memory has never been great but I can't seem to recall this being such an issue before, maybe I should attach something to this so it stands out better. Everything in this room is pale, white and hard. Maybe something fluffy would be nice? Maybe that would make it less threatening too?

It takes some effort but I manage to wrestle it around my mouth, can't believe I do this everyday.

The results speak for themselves though, I'm intensely proud of my teeth, what would I do without them? How would I eat?

I open wide to admire, running my tongue around them.

Mouth shuts with an audible clack.

I sight the shower in the corner of my eye and just the thought of it makes my fur stand on end.

So glad I don't use that.

I smooth down my fur staring at myself in the mirror watching the brilliant tones of my fur spring back in the wake of my hands,

It feels good. I spread my hands down the luxurious thick creamy white on my neck as I neaten out the nighttime twists and turns, bunching up and matting patches.

My nakedness stirs more puzzlement in the mirror, I tilt my head quizzically at the man in the mirror. There's something off about you, I tell him.

Not wrong, he looks good, I look good I should say. It's undeniable that there's something uncanny about my reflection

Not that there's anything I would change about myself.

I run a hand down my back fumbling at my tail.

Well a bit taller maybe.

I mean, it doesn't bother me as much as it should maybe. I am tiny no question.

Much smaller than the average guy for sure. But how many guys out there have such a nice coat? If that's the trade I'd say it's fair, more than fair.

I don't know how I would live without it honestly,

Never liked clothes anyway.

Expensive, uncomfortable and the sizes are always fucked up on me, nothing fits.

Even those clothes I got yesterday and they were new.

Maybe that's what's wrong. I do usually put something on.

I picture the man in front of me with clothes on and it just makes me cringe.

No, this is better. Bridget won't mind she's cool with it.

They just block the view, who wouldn't wanna see me?

I smile slyly at myself.

Since when was I so turned on by myself?

Since always.

I run my hands up and down myself, neatening out the kinks in my fur, rubbing my ears.

The toilet always kind of a hassle. Maybe that's what I would change if I could, I've seen how easy it is for that guy. The other person here, I forget his name.

He can just stand, whip out and go without issue.

Me though? As much as I like my dick it's not that simple for me.

I've long since found a way around but it gets rather messy.

I lay across the bowl and relieve myself.

Not in 10 years have I found anything that makes this easier, surely there must be others with my condition that caters to this.

I lean down and clean myself up.

That's part has put a lot of people off in the past and I can see where they're coming from, it is kinda gross but it's just something I do. I mean considering I blow myself a few times a week it's not exactly the worst.

And really you can't beat a good tonging,

I smile slyly again.

When did I do that last?

God, why am I so horny?

I continue to walk a little awkwardly rather annoyingly as I leave the bathroom and enter the living room to find Bridget preening herself with a small hand held while talking to her phone, that's just something people do though, the tinny distorted noise hurts my ears.

She talks loudly and her phone responds in kind and on it sometimes goes for hours. Meh. I don't understand, but then I don't much care either.

She winks at me as I pass.

I head to the kitchen and stare at an unopened tuna tin.

Annoyed at the inconvenience of having to make my own breakfast.

"Ugh, come on hurry up." I think. I'm irritable. Maybe I should've jacked off?

She's not even looking at me.

The opener thing is sat on top of it. It's in my reach.

I look back at her, not a flicker of awareness.

Well I guess it's worth a try, I mean how hard could it be?

I wrap my hand around the opener, it's a little forced in my grip, probably not designed for people like me, typical.

My thumb struggles to grip the shiny metal surface and I end up dropping it.

It hits the floor with a loud clatter and Bridget looks my way.

"One sec" she mouths at me.

Determined I pick it up again.

I'm sure I must've used one of these things at some point. it can't be hard.

With the can on the floor and leaning down hard with both hands on it I manage to pierce the lid.

It's stiff and my hands cramp as I try to turn the handle.

I force it and I end up catapulting the can.

Fuck!

It rolls off along the floor leaving a thin trail of brine.

The smell is good of course and I bite back the temptation to just lick it off the floor. That's disgusting, I'm such a slob sometimes.

Bridget still with her phone in her hand walks over and picks up the can off the floor. Placing it back on the counter. smirking endearingly at me.

The pitch of her voice heightens which means she's finishing up.

Thankfully she stops soon after and opens it properly for me.

"SOoory sweetie, was trying to wrap that up."

"You must be starving!"

"Oh! careful watch your paws!"

She takes the opener out of my hands.

"My paws?!" I look down at my hands. "Wow!"

"Hey, that's not funny." I angrily say.

I flex my hands, they feel a little stiffer.

Probably just strained them.

"Seriously, Don't joke about that, this is a disability you know?"

Bridget took a step back, looking ashamed.

"Wait, It's just that...No... right."

"No... sorry."

She shrunk back and turned around opening the can.

Jesus, I thought she was nice? What the hell was that? Paws?

I look at my hands again, they do look a bit like paws it's true, thick fingers, stubby thumbs. But she knows better than to call them that.

She does seem genuinely sorry though, she didn't mean it offensively,

"Look, let's just ignore that." I say

"I am kind of in a bad mood."

"O...okay." She say's looking a little confused. "I didn't know you were sensitive about..this. I thought..." She stopped herself.

"It's fine...just, don't worry." I say

Something was wrong here but I didn't want to bring anything up, I don't like people crying in front of me.

She serves me food and we don't talk for a bit. She does bring up though that we have guests coming over today and then they're heading out to go shopping or something.

Guests might be cool. I'm not really a people person but it'll be nice to see a couple different faces.

By the time I'm finished she's quietly readying herself in her room.

I'm licking myself over, finding traces of brine that must've caught in my fur earlier, I'm so sensitive to this.

It's like I can feel anything and everything, even the faint dried out drop of salty water.

I'm licking at my hands when a knock on the door startles me.

The smell of a person on the other side, that sharp bite of perfume that masks their natural musk fairly well. Someone unfamiliar though, a woman.

But wait, there's something else. I know this smell.

Something quivers in me, a need.

Freya?

Bridget comes out of her room. A coat on, loud shoes.

No, wait. Freya? That...cat?

I breathe her in again.

Oh man.

What's wrong with me?

I can't think straight.

The door opens and I'm focused on it.

The woman, tall, and blonde. She's carrying a sort of box with a handle.

She looks my way and makes kissing noises at me.

They engage in a babble of nonsense but I don't care. My gaze is pulled to the box.

I catch a flash of eyes looking back as it shifts in the woman's grip.

Green eyes, piercing.

My groin stirs, warmth.

I force myself to look away, I can't be here. What's wrong with me?

The woman sets the box down on the floor and I cant help but look back.

I edge around the kitchen counter trying to put something between me and her. Freya.

"Hey, Braddie, I'm heading out." Say's Bridget. "Me and Claire are going shopping I hope you don't mind."

"We've brought you a play mate, I think you know her already." She smiles sheepishly.

"Freya?" I say involuntarily.

She nod's happily.

"Yes she's gorgeous isn't she?"

The box open now, the thin sleek visage, a brilliant tan hue fading to white down her delicious chest.

Her bite-able neck, gorgeous doesn't do her justice.

She looks my way.

Green eyes with the slightest sliver of purest black.

They soften and she relaxes her posture.

"I..." I can't look away.

"Look I'm sorry about earlier, but this has nothing to do with that. I noticed the other day you were interested in something and figured it was her smell that set you off."

She smiles

This is sort of a thanks I guess. Though I can never thank you enough honestly."

She runs a finger down my nose.

"..."

"Don't worry, she's really friendly, super chill. Go over to her."

Bridget gets up, laughs at something said between them and leaves.

I don't move, I'm frozen. Something seems to have snapped in my head, I'm locked up.

Freya's soft eyes drag around the room, she walks up to the sofa sniffing at something turning her back on me.

That's when I see it.

"NO." I say aloud startling Freya.

"No...I can't be like that."

With a great amount of force I turn away, I walk away.

I hide.

But the smell, oh fuck her smell.

It's burrowed deep into my brain, I can't think.

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm standing behind the kitchen counter, having a panic attack when she walks up to me.

She's just there all of a sudden, looking at me, staring into my soul.

I can't even try to ignore her now.

"H..ikgh" My throat locks up. I cough .

Freya flinches a bit but I don't lose her warm loving gaze.

"Hi...?" I say reaching down to make contact.

Freya murrs at me, rubbing her back against my leg.

I nearly explode at the contact.

"Oh God, Freya."

"What's wrong with me?"

I say cradling my head in my hands. She stands up on her hind legs and nuzzles my nose.

"No please!"

"You don't know how I feel right now."

I push her away,

That tugging in my groin, Fuck

She presses her head into my hand massaging her ear.

Ugh, so soft...

I press down on my dick to keep it sliding out.

"NO!"

I face away from her. and do my best to walk away quickly.

I trip and fall, face planting into the rug.

She ambles up to me,

back side swaying in her step

I can't deny she looks good,

Her lines, her face, her eyes. It's like she was sculpted, her soft short fur tapering and fading effortlessly into warm browns.

Her eye's unblemished, brilliant, bright yet nonthreatening. I can see something in them, a need.

That must be it, she's just...like, a good looking cat.

Nothing more.

Maybe everyone feels this way.

Clearly she's some kind of show cat. There's no way she's a normal one.

I suppress that little voice that tells me I'm just rationalizing.

Yeah, She's only hot cos she's a model or something. She's hot yeah. like that woman...

I try to picture someone, anyone.

I can't think right...Freya's eyes just look back at me in my mind.

Nothing wrong with that! NOPE!

She's purring now, her soft supple vibrations fill my head relaxing me.

I'm on all fours now, it feels nice.

I feel strong, energy welling up through me.

Freya arches her back and presses into me, sliding under my chest heading for my..

I block her from my junk, it's out and pulsing, I can't get it back in. Part of me doesn't care, like what's wrong with it? Why can't it be out?

There's no one around, maybe it's okay.

I roll over and sit down, legs splayed out in front of me.

No one's around, I'm already naked. I lean over and sniff at it. its throbbing at attention. Oh God, It's too much.

Freya swings back around, she's interested in it too.

Why wouldn't she be interested? I say to myself nervously

She's just an animal, they...know things. Her nose twitches sniffing at it, I'm curled over half shielding, half wanting.

I can't think of anything I've wanted more, I want her,

but I can't it's wrong!

Why has Bridget done this to me? Has she slipped something in to my breakfast? Is this some kind of sick twisted joy for her?

I try to get angry, try to distract. if anything it just turns to another intense flavor of lust.

I'm angry, annoyed at myself, ashamed, but it's all in the mix.

My pelvis is twitching, I can't help it.

Nervous excited energy is setting it in motion, Freya's so close it's taking on a mind of its own.

She licks.

"Unnh"

It pumps.

"Fuck."

It feels amazing, like purest ecstasy, just one touch and shivers roll up and down me, fluttering my heart.

I need more.

Freya just looks up at me oblivious to the fuse she just set a match to.

I try to stand but my legs are like jelly, in my heat and confusion I can't seem to work them.

I need her...No I need to leave, I need to get away.

My mind is tearing itself apart.

I can't possibly do it, I can't fuck her. She's a cat. She's sexy. But still a cat.

It's wrong!

She's wrong.

She leans into me again and just the closeness of her makes me shiver.

The fine, soft outer layer of fur tickles my bare stomach.

Skin shrinking back in reflex.

I'm losing the battle, only threads of sanity are holding me back now.

Counter thoughts start coming forward more, justifications, each of them growing more convincing that the last.

Who's gonna know?

Just once won't hurt?

She's totally into you.

When was the last time you got laid?

One nugget of truth broke through, a self mockery.

If you jacked off earlier maybe this wouldn't be happening.

Freya stretches in front of me. I can see the ripple of toned muscle beneath her short dense fur.

A thoughtlessness comes over me, words escape. The delicious creature in front of me robs me of rational thought, no more justifications, no need for them.

No words

No thoughts

Just action.

My mind goes blank.

There are flashes, images.

Her shock, my bite

The chase

She presses into me.

The Heat

My head buzzes.

The raw pleasure, unfiltered.

Static in my head again.

This pressure, this firmness, my teeth gripping her.

It feels natural, like I've done this before.

Yes.

This doesn't feel weird. Why was I so hesitant?

I have done this before.

I finish on top of her, I don't hold back a noise escapes my lips that surprises me. High-pitched, wordless, animal.

We're sitting together now, a soft warm buzz. My ears flick at each sound coming from the hall way. I don't want to be caught like this.

I can't have people know I'm into this. As far as I know no one does but I can't be too careful.

I run a hand along the ridged line of her spine towards her bite-able backside, the tip of her tail swaying lazily.

I breathe her in, she still sets me off after 3 rounds.

I wish I can talk to her, wish I can tell her how beautiful she is.

Something in her gaze though tells me she knows, her self-satisfied eyes.

We clean each other up.

I try to clean the apartment too. We kinda got a little weird, Bridget keeps everything spotless. Cushions were scattered, rugs wrinkled. I think she liked being chased. I can't remember clearly. I could just see her looking back at me invitingly.

I had to go on all fours of course, I can't run on two legs. I'm just not built that way.

When I'm around people I stand like them. I think I do it for them more than I do it for me though. I don't like feeling so small around them though admittedly.

I look at the claw marks in the sofa arm. The image of me on top of her flickers behind my eyes.

That would need explaining.

How do I explain that?

I did it?

I look at my hands, the sharp nails I have.

I slipped, I could say.

An accident.

Don't want her to blame Freya, she might not bring her over again.

I grin.

I shuffle around the apartment putting things back.

Freya just lies on the window sill, looking amazing.

She reminds me of another I had years ago, a stray I think. I can't remember.

Bridget adopted her for a while I think though, the details on that are fuzzy.

Bridget is good like that, caring. Loves cats.

I'm surprised we don't have one actually.

I could suggest one.

Me and Freya enjoy each other company, she's very affectionate. I mean that might be owed to be plowing her. but she's actually nice to be around afterwards.

She's playful but not violent

I climb up on the kitchen counter to get to some food and she eagerly bounced up with me padding at my chest as I pulled out another can of tuna.

I'm determined this time to open it myself, I don't have a choice besides.

The can is too wide for me to grip one handed so I try pressing it down on the counter like last time.

The opener seems harder to use than before, my thumbs just don't have any purchase on them.

How does this work? I wonder to myself. I have done this before, I'm sure of it.

Using both hands I can work it but the can just flies away when I put pressure on it.

Of course!

I sit down and hold the can cupping it with my feet. Yes, this is how its done! Can't believe I 

forgot that.

It's still very tricky but I manage to rotate the can around the cutting edge.

Freya's cute little nose lights up, probably mirroring mine.

I don't mind sharing my plate with her.

We chill out for a few hours on the window sill, she enjoys watching the nest across the 

street too.

Eventually Bridget and her friend return, by this point everything is as they left it of course

 and I smile and wave with a practiced normalcy as they leave.

A little dejected though.

Bridget is practically bursting with joy several bags in hand.

"EEeee!" she squeals at me. "I've just had the best time"

"The last few days have been just so magical, but today has left me speechless...again."

I wince and turn my ears away from her.

Me and the girls went shopping! There are so many things outside of this one little place

aren't there. So many things and people to see. I was shy at first but it was like a door

opened in my mind and it turns out a lot of the people there I've known from a college

I must've gone to at some point. I even met people I've known most of my life. Gosh I'm

so old, yet I feel so fresh. 25 years old!??! Gosh humans are great aren't they?

She spoke so fast I couldn't get in a question to break her flow. But then a lot of that left

me speechless anyway.

"Oh I'm sorry I'm rambling on about myself. How was your play date with Freya?

"She's so cute isn't she?"

"Did you two...get along?"

She smiled at me weirdly like she knew exactly what we got up to.

"Yeah, real cute, she was fine. She mostly just chilled out by the window"

I shrugged.

"Is that all?" Bridget said teasingly

"Yeah, of course, why?"

Did I miss something? I my eyes dart around looking for anything out of place.

"We..just hung out." I looked again at the sofa picturing us there hours ago. the claw marks.

"Huh, ok." Bridget said and shrugged herself.

"So you weren't in to her? I thought you guys would get along. Claire said she was in heat."

I splutter. "What has that got to do with anything??"

She's on to me. How could she know?

I'm usually better at hiding this stuff, what did I miss?

Panic washes through me.

Bridget frowns, smiles. "Oh never mind, just thought it was relevant."

"Pleased to hear she was fine."

She grins.