A Fair Trade. Part 1 (Patreon)

A fair Trade

By Krazyivan

A slow burn house cat transformation

Ugh, he's off again!

I made some dinner and left a couple of pans in the sink He's of course making a massive deal out of it again.

I can't believe him, he didn't used to be like this. In college we would live like slobs all the time and neither of us gave a shit but now it matters apparently.

Some crap about making the flat presentable for dates, pfft I've not seen him bring anyone here since we moved in.

No mention of anyone in his cross-hairs why should I have to work for his libido?

It's not just that of course, but that was today's fight.

Usually it's along the lines of unemployment or eating all the food, I'll be honest I'm not the best, I could be better but it's hard to improve under such a negative environment.

I say as much to him, with a maybe a few less than tasteful jabs at his luck with women. I'm not proud of that but when I'm backed into a corner I can be a real asshole.

"For fuck sake Brad I'm not asking a lot just a little effort." He shouts

"Chris, you didnt give me a chance, I literally just cooked." I say defending myself

"It's been over an hour and that crap you microwaved has stunk out the whole place. Honestly if your gonna be a freeloading sloth then why don't you jump in and take Briskets place, at least she seems to actually appreciate my efforts."

The orange cat perks up at her name being spoken

"You comparing me to the damn cat? What the hell, fine. You know what I wish I was. You never bother her about anything! Must be nice."

The argument ends how it always ends, one of us storms out and we make up for it later with cheap platitudes and soft promises.

By bed time I've forgotten the whole exchange and fall asleep phone in hand.

In the morning I stir to the sounds of the rest of the building getting ready for work, odd thumps in the walls, the trickle of water through pipes and the cracking of metal warping in the heat of bathrooms storey's above me.

I usually sleep though the whole thing but my brain for some reason was just too wired for ignore it and I stir at each noise.

I pull myself out of bed and sit down at my desk in front of my computer when something strange catches my eye, a note

It's a short note written neatly with a skilled hand in a girlish style.

"Wish granted, Thank you so much!" :D

What on earth? What wish? Is this some kind of shitty prank by Chris?

I sweep the letter aside and am about to turn on my laptop when I hear talking in the sitting room. I hear a female voice more to the point.

I get up and walk outside.

They're laughing over cooking breakfast, There's a clang of metal ware on the hob as they talk about some TV show or whatever.

"Erm, hey" I say awkwardly

Chris looks my way but say's nothing

"Hey Bradley. So good of you to come out I'm making us some breakfast." says' the girl a little too excitedly

"Hey" I say I bit perplexed by her. "You are?"

"Oh my god I'm sorry you wouldn't recognize me duh. I'm Bris...Bridget. I guess I'm new around here." She says upbeatly.

"Uh huh, cool." I say. "So are you staying here or...?"

"Oh yes I hope so, its so nice to be here like this. You have no idea how long I've wanted to meet you properly." A timer goes off behind her. "Oh, sorry excuse me,"

She say's turning back to the cooker stirring the scrambled eggs.

This Bridget chick is pretty hot actually. She's tall for a woman maybe 2 or three below me and I'm 6 foot. Her hair color looks natural but its a strange shade of orange thats familiar but I can't say where from, Weird.

She gave me this broad smile when I walked in the room.

Something super weird though is Chris, I can't get straight answers out of him each response has been dismissive or tailed off onto another topic.

Bridget just smiling at me the whole time pats my head give me a meal. At least she's nice, if a little strange.

Her cooking is great though, no complaints there, that makes up for things I guess. They must be shy about their relationship. I had not idea though, maybe this is why he was so uppity yesterday.

Hmmm? Somethings going on around here. I keep losing things and they just completely disappear.

Not just misplacement, they fucking vanish. I had a shirt I bought at a concert last year, I hung it out on my chair to wear today but its gone.

Yesterday it was an Iron Maiden mug and a few knick knacks on my desk.

In fact when I look around it seems as though there is a lot less stuff in here but I cant think what exactly. Just more space!

I swear there is half as much crap in my wardrobe. I found my Xbox in the living room with my profile gone and weirdly the case is a different color? IS this mine? We don't have another one I thought?

Chris doesn't speak of it. He's been so weird lately.

Is he pissed off about that fight?

I found Bridget wearing my watch!

The one I was given for graduating last year. I walk over and ask her about it. "Hey Bridget."

She turns to look at me with that warm loving smile.

"Look I don't mind you being here and all but I'd appreciate it if you didnt just take my stuff without asking."

I can't be mad at her, maybe it was just a misunderstanding. She'd been nothing but super kind In the few days she's been living with us.

"Oh Gosh I'm sorry I didnt think you'd be wanting this anymore. You're right of course, I should've asked first. Please have it back, I wouldn't wanna offend you." She said seeming embarrassed to the point of tears.

I was confused by her response and didnt press it further and just slipped my watch loosely on. I brought the clasp down on the metal strap but the thing just rolled on my wrist loosely. I frowned at it. Weird, that was tailor made to fit.

She quickly served me food and apologized several times while making it. I quickly let it slide this shit is so good I'm pretty sure she could try to steal my leg and id be cool with it.

Our next encounter was further confusing, she asked me whether I was willing to give her my phone yet? Yet?? "Ha, no sorry. I'm not sure I understand?"

"Your phone do you still need it?" She asked as if it was nothing . "I'm just starting to have a family again and well they're just lovely and wanna talk to me."

"Again?...What??"

"Yes! They're quite new" She giggles excitedly, "This is so great, it's been so long. Thank you."

I have no words. She's the most upbeat, friendly and generous, insane person I've ever heard of.

She just continues smiling at me her eyes darting up and down me as if she's looking for something. "How are you doing?" She asks.

"I was feeling great up until this conversation." I reply suspiciously

"Oh...Of course! I'm sorry, you must be busy. I suppose you probably have stuff you wanna do. Don't let me hold you up."

Happiness was practically boiling off her.

"Thanks..."

It's rare to meet people like this, but I have done in the past. They just have so much energy for everything. I suppose it must be nice, I just cant help but think though if there's a crash in it. Like does she ever just collapse from the effort of it all? She's like a candle burning at both end's and her interest in me is odd to say the least.

The next day sitting chilling in the sitting room again, the apartment is spotless, I never see any cleaning happen but everything is immaculate. Even the dust on top of the TV is gone.

I suppose Chris got what he wanted with Bridget, she must do it all in the morning when I'm not around 'cos' when I am around they're just cooking laughing and chatting, basically being the ideal couple.

Chris barely talks to me now I should be offended but for some reason it doesnt bother me as much as I think it should, maybe we just needed some time away from each other. Maybe it's a growing apart in the presence of a girlfriend and it's natural, it's happened to everyone else I knew from college anyway. Just didnt expect it to happen in my own damn home.

Speaking of chatting somethings been troubling me these last few days. Not only has conversation been cut off from me but Chris has started using some fancy big words in his vo... vocabbable?... ugh y'know that word thats your total word count or something, doesnt spring to mind at the moment.

Anyway, it's odd, they don't sound fancy but at the same it seems half of what he's say's these days just washes over me. Is he trying to impress Bridget or something? I think you've bagged her bud. She's totally into you, drop the act!

Bridget is always speaking so clearly around me like she's putting an effort into it. It's almost like she's treating me like a child or something. She can see my confusion when Chris is talking I think, I'm not a dumb ass he's just being pre..ten...something.

He's faking it! That's what I mean. Ugh my head hurts.

"Oh sweety are you ok?" Bridget can see me rubbing my head.

"Yeah I'm fine I just have a sore head." I say rubbing between my eyes.

"You poor baby, let me fix you some food."

"Uh, yeah that sounds pretty good actually, thanks." I sit down on the sofa, watching TV. I see her pull something down from a cupboard where we normally keep washing detergents but pay it no mind.

I want to like Bridgett, I really do. She's nice and maybe I'm just misunderstanding her but there's something in the way she looks at me.

It's like a mix of respect and inspection.

And she's always smiling.

And she always has food for me. Is she mothering me?

Oh man though, her meals are the best. its some kind of cold stew, it must be a family recipe of her's.

I can't get enough of it. Literally, its the same thing every time but I don't mind.

She should sell this shit, she'd make a fortune.

10%

I don't shave often, don't really need to. Who am I primping myself for?

Clean-shaven just feels wrong. It's irritating and itchy and I cant be bothered to put up with that all the time.

But too long and it just looks shit, my beard isn't particularly thick and the longer it gets the more it looks bad.

Lately though its been thickening out a bit, but off color?

It's usually thick black hairs sparsely dotted around my face but some of these are white? Grey? I can't be going Grey yet surely?

What got me to finally shave again though were some odd ones. A few have started to stick out in odd directions and in odd places. I could see them in my line of sight, I really don't like them. So they had to go.

I regret buying a pink razor, I think it was on sale or something, I cant seem to remember but I must've had a reason to buy a pink one. It's a bit girl for my tastes to.

Bridget walks by me as I inspect my smooth face for stray's.

"Oh..." She say's with a wince. "I know it was patchy but the rest will fill in soon enough."

I look at her. "What?"

"The Sphinx look is just...ugh, not good in my opinion."

"Sphinx look?" I ask still looking in the mirror but back at her through it, confusion on my face. Was she always this tall?

"Yeah clean shaven and all..skinny, y'know I mean."

"Never heard it said like that before but I guess? Is that a saying people use?"

I laugh a little at her

"It was getting too long for me." I said.

Now she looked confused. "Oh, ok...well I don't think it would've got much longer anyway." She seems a little sad for a moment.

"I had a great coat when I was younger, but I'm sure yours will be nice too."

She say's walking off, smiling back at me.

What coat is she on about? Has she bought me one?

I didn't bother asking, doing that usually leaves you seeking more answers afterwards.

I guess I'll be getting a coat from her at some point.

I look back in the mirror, maybe I should let it grow out a bit. I don't like the way my face looks without a beard.

Looks kinda brutish, its funny I'd never noticed that before.

Were my cheek bones always like that?

I run my fingers over the scratchy skin of my face, "hmm"

Where are my clothes?

I went to get dressed this morning and I have a bunch of stuff missing.

In the wash maybe? But I don't see where and there's nothing drying and nothing in the washing machine.

It's not a lot but I know I had more than this.

Bridget was no help of course, but then I don't know whats missing I just know that there is. I'm sure I had more...

I look around my room and everything seems different somehow, I can't place it though. Am I high?

I open a drawer, wasn't this wooden before? I wouldn't buy a metal chest of drawers would i? I look around at the shelves, games, tokens, figurines, folders, diagrams, spreadsheets. Hmm seems normal, why cant I shake the feeling that something is different?

I throw on some stuff anyway, its not like I have a shortage, maybe whatever they were will turn up somewhere.

I pick up my jeans from yesterday, I don't often wash these, You can get away with a lot with jeans, but holy hell do they stink for some reason.

I guess I just didnt notice it yesterday.

But hey some good news at least I had to go up a notch on my belt. I guess I must have lost some weight. Result!

I go to grab something off my desk, I catch myself in the motion but there's nothing there.

What's wrong with me today?

I look again, at the pink clad MacBook, the mug with cats on it, the array of stationary and scribbled notes.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

I still feel uneasy about it though and decide to try and get some answers out of Chris if he'll speak to me today.

Chris is in the kitchen making lunch, I could hear him clanking away, smells great, my mouth waters, Oh man bacon!"

I approach him and ask him directly if he's seen any of my clothes.

"Hmm, erm yeah, uhuh, yeah."

He doesnt even look at me. "Chris?" I say raising my voice.

"Ummm. hmmhmm." Just just continues flipping the bacon.

I grab his arm. "Hey, will you actually talk to me?"

Chris turns around and looks down at me. Did everyone take some growth pills or something?

"Heerm, huh?" He stares blankly at me like he's sleep walking.

"Oh whatever, why are you being like this? The fight was day's ago. Get over it man!"

He turns back around without saying a word and continues stirring as if nothing happened.

What a prick!.

Bridget was standing uneasily in the doorway, looking in.

"Why is he being such a dick?" I ask her

"Oh, he's not, he's just not really seeing you at the moment."

"Not really seeing me?" I smirk. "What does that mean?"

"He'll talk again to you soon don't worry, it just takes time." She smiles.

"I can see this whole situation is confusing you, so if you have any questions I'll be happy to talk to you. But do not worry your little head over it. Its perfectly natural I suppose."

"Oh is this a new relationship thing?" I ask look back on Chris

"Certainly a part of it, sure!" She rubs my head.

"Oh, this is lovely." She's says

The pattern you've got coming in here is adorable, great asymmetry."

"What do you mean by that?" I look up at her puzzled. "Asemmery?"

"Your hair, its nice." She smiles down at me.

"I like the white bits." She points

"Oh yeah, thanks. I've had those for forever though. They're not new, just some weird genetic thing I guess."

Bridget seemed amused by this. "Oh, right. Anyway they're lovely I can't help imagining how the rest of it will look."

I shake my head. "Hah, is Chris ok with you openly flirting with me like this?" I turn and walk away back to my room.

Nothing odd was said by Bridget the rest of the day. She and Chris went out somewhere and I got the place to myself again, which is what I prefer. I considered going out and getting some exercise, but laziness soon spread through me when I slumped on the sofa watching nothing in particular. I eventually passed out without noticing.

The sound of keys missing their target several times around the lock, then the loud crash of the door hitting the wall as it swings open with too much force.

I wake up again to the ear shattering sound of them making a riot coming in.

They're so damn inconsiderate.

I rub at my ears trying to muffle the tinny clacks of heels on tile. I hate those things.

The sound makes my skin crawl. I cover my ears up and press down making sure to cover their whole width.

Fuck that feels good though, I forget how good it feels to massage your ears.

They're drunk, thats obvious I can smell it on them. But Bridget makes it a statement when she stumbles a bit as she take off a heel and falls flat on her ass.

She picks herself up and hobbles over to me with one heel still on.

"Oooo Fuck. Ha! I guess I had a little too much."

Bridget slumps down next to me.

I try to hide my scowl.

She reeks! The booze, the perfume its a full on assault my nose burns with the sensations.

I get up to go to my room.

"Oh soorry baby were you napping??" She said slurring her words.

"Yeah, no its fine. I was just going to bed." I turn away

She slides down the sofa and mumbles wearily.

"Oh god this stuff hits you guys strong doesnt it." She say's

"I'm not sure if I like it, though. I feel sorta dizzy, the room's spinney."

How much did you have? I ask.

"I'm a little hazy on the numbersss they're new to me. Seven maybe?"

She hold up both hands displaying 8 fingers.

"Hah, enjoy your hangover, looks like its gonna be hard one." I walk away.

"Thank yooo!! Love ya Braddie." She spreads her arms wide and slides further down the sofa.

Fuck, I would not want to be her in the morning.