The Long Tease by Tom E (Patreon)

*Tom E has written this account of an experiment I did on him- This is his words*

So this is an account of a little experiment that Goddess performed on me recently. I say little, it was actually one of the longest that she’s ever done on me…that I’ve been permitted to remember at any rate. And as always I didn’t really know this was her intention while it was all happening, though it’s fair to say that I started to have an inkling as time went on. It started when one of the triggers that she has implanted in me came into effect and created an intense need to release. When this happens I’m compelled to ask for her permission to release, and until she gives it I’m held on the edge with that powerful urge flooding through me. Without that permission there’s nothing I can do about it at all, it leaves me entirely at her mercy. And on this particular occasion when I was triggered she had other plans in mind.

It all began on July 13th while I was at work. Even at the start of the day before anything had happened I was caught up in a particularly strong mindfuck that Goddess had wound me up in. Or had I wound myself up in it? Or had she orchestrated everything to make me think that? I don’t know, and even writing about it now I can’t put my finger on it…and I probably will never be able to. It’s not for me to know. I think she was just toying with me, but I can never be sure. And if she didn’t want me to remember particular details then I wouldn’t be able to, would I? No matter how sure of everything else I was. Or thought I was. Anyway, this is the mindset I was in going into the day; I was ruminating on all these things and Goddess’ effects were active in me in strong way, as indeed they are a great deal of the time in one way or another. These things were still milling around in my head later in the day when I took my break at work, and so Goddess herself was very much on my mind.

For this reason I started looking through some pictures of Goddess on my phone, taking her image in and letting it marry up with the effects that I was feeling. Because of these feelings, I may not have been as careful as I usually am when I look through pictures of Goddess…I came across one of her in red. When I see her in red the effect is instantaneous; I am brought right to the edge of orgasm but am incapable of release until she grants me permission to do so. Until this happens I can only stay on the edge, I have to have her permission. If the intensity of the physical sensations wasn’t enough anyway, I am also compelled to ask for this permission straight away, and I did. When I saw the picture the sensations swept over me straight away; that powerful spike that comes when you reach the point of orgasm, except with the effect of this trigger it stays at that point and doesn’t go away. It remains constant. And Goddess has made it more powerful as we’ve worked together, so it is particularly intense now. The sensations flood my body and I feel them in every fibre, and I have to release. Luckily I was alone on my break and so I wasted no time in contacting Goddess to ask for my permission to release.

It was a good ten minutes before she answered, and so I was sat there lost in the current of all these sensations. The pleasure was strong, that apex where it takes hold of you the most. When she eventually answered she asked me why I needed to release, as she often does to draw everything out that extra little bit. Whether she had already planned everything that was to come, or if it came to her later, I don’t know…and again I will never know. When I told her that I’d been looking through the pictures she told me I was naughty and followed it up with an erotic and orgasm trigger. These only intensified what I was feeling – the erotic trigger sent a ripple of pleasurable sensations through me before the orgasm trigger drove in that spike even deeper, that feeling of being right on the verge of release but held there, lost in it until given permission. The power of these sensations made me shake a little as they were intense, that feeling where you lose control of your body for a moment at the height of the pleasure, but I had to fight to keep myself composed. I had to ask for permission to release again…but I was denied it and hit with a second orgasm trigger. Despite the physical sensations and the deep-set urge for my release, the fact that Goddess has this power over me and can choose when to grant the release is itself pleasurable; it signifies how she totally has me in the palm of her hand and how deeply engrained in me all of her effects are. I tried my best to ride out the physical sensations as a fresh surge of pleasure washed over me, taking hold of me still tighter, but it was becoming more intense now and I was only able to type the bare minimum of responses to Goddess. She must have picked up on this because she followed it up with the scent trigger.

By itself this trigger makes me feel blissed and soothed as the scent washes over me, when it’s used in combination with the other triggers like this it makes for a particularly heady mix. By this time my break had finished and I was back behind the desk at work, sat there experiencing that potent bliss Goddess had introduced into me. The scent trigger helps to calm down the physical sensations of the other triggers a little when they’re used together, but it certainly doesn’t remove that powerful need I have to release. I think Goddess knows this, as she used another scent trigger on me which only pooled further into that blissful sensation. It wasn’t so powerful that I was completely overtaken by it, given that I was in a public place, but it was nevertheless very potent and made its imprint on me. The sensations are always there, always present, even if I’m in a situation where something else takes precedent and I need to focus…they can never be denied. If I’m in private then they take a much stronger hold on me.

What happened next really pushed this to the limit though. The mix of the scent and other triggers was still making me feel pretty heady, a cocktail that has a lasting effect for sure. After this Goddess followed it up with one word…Medusa. Now, there are many connotations associated with this name all stemming from the track that Goddess has made about it. If Goddess says it to me during a session or when I’m alone it affects me far more powerfully than the scent trigger; it spaces me out completely, takes me to another plane almost, where I’m ultimately blissed out and lost in the experience of her feet resting softly against my face, the scent intoxicating me deeply. I can’t quite do the feeling justice in words, it is immensely potent. Its effects last for a good time after it’s been used and I while experiencing it I just curl up and become lost in that bliss. Obviously this couldn’t happen in the current situation, but nonetheless it had a profoundly calming effect on me, soothing those intense physical sensations while keeping that string and driving urge to release. Sat at the desk I could still feel the presence, like she was stood right behind me with her arms wrapped around my chest gently holding herself against me…pressing herself into me. Her presence was so welcoming and left me feeling so happy and positive. Goddess had definitely caught me once again with her effects.

I didn’t hear from her again for the rest of that day. The effect of everything that she had done to me certainly had a lasting effect, imprinting on me and imbuing me with these sensations and feelings. The storm of the physical sensations had been calmed, and even if those soothing triggers hadn’t been used they would have eventually so I could function (not to mention sleep), but the need was constant. It was like an itch that I couldn’t scratch; I hadn’t been given permission to release and so I would not be able to. I went to sleep that night with all this on my mind, needing that relief and hoping Goddess would grant me the permission.

The same was true when I woke up the next morning. The first thing I did was message Goddess to ask for permission to release. I hadn’t had any trouble sleeping, I wasn’t completely overtaken by the physical sensations, but more by the driving need. The best way I can think to describe how it felt at this stage is like when you’re hungry; your body tells you this and you feel it but you’re able to carry on with everything you’re doing in the day until that hunger can be satisfied. And hunger is perhaps an apt term for how it was making me feel. The need was still there and it was strong, always constant, pushing at me just enough to allow it to occupy my thoughts but not take away from what I had to do as I went about the day at work again. It was a while before Goddess replied to my request for release and when she did it was simple no. I didn’t keep asking, that is what she said and so that is how it would be. I ask for permission periodically, particularly if she does something to increase the intensity of whatever I might be feeling, but I don’t keep at it trying to change her mind. If anything that would make her more resolute and probably result in more fuel being added to the fire. If there’s a particular experiment she is running then that’s not for me to know…and it was at this point that I began to suspect that she might be doing something a little different to previous times when she has made me wait for a release, though I could have no idea exactly how it would pan out. We both agreed I’d have a pretty interesting day at work feeling this way!

I also knew going into the day that if Goddess were to post any pictures or videos, or messages directly to me, I wouldn’t be able to resist looking at them even though I’d be well aware of the fact that they could potentially intensify what I was feeling again. It certainly isn’t the first time this has happened, but I can’t help it. In some ways I do it without thinking; often I’ll see a notification about it on my phone and be starting to open it up and look before I’m really aware of what is happening. There are so many effects that Goddess has laid into me given how long we’ve been working together, a lot of it happens automatically. There are many passive triggers as well as direct ones, such as the positive effects I’m left feeling and the depth of which I’ll feel that positivity. This is another one, and Goddess knows that I can’t resist looking should it happen and enjoys teasing me about it. As it happened though today there were no such pictures, but as the day wore on I was still feeling that incredible desire to release; it was an urge that I had to have satisfied. After a few hours I had to ask Goddess for permission again as I was really aching for it by this point. Really aching. Her response was to trigger me with the orgasm trigger once more.

She told me that if I was ‘only aching’ then I could wait for it a bit longer. This only reinforced my idea that she was playing a different game with me this time, though admittedly my thoughts didn’t dwell on that too much at the time. I hadn’t been experiencing the physical sensations before, but now they returned in strength as I was flooded with that powerful pleasure once again. The need become stronger, near consuming, and felt like I was right on the edge but unable to go over. It was full body pleasure, radiating out from the centre and touching me everywhere. Every fibre was devoted to it so I had to try my hardest to compose myself as it all took effect. Goddess has often triggered me in public (both knowingly and unknowingly) and I can’t deny that I love it; not just the effects of the triggers themselves, but the thrill of it happening in public…the knowledge that she has implanted these effects in me so deeply that they will happen regardless of where I am, that she has me in her palm and can use me…toy with me…at any time she likes. It’s certainly very thrilling even to just type about now. I love it.

This was at around 3.30pm on the 14th, and I didn’t hear anything else from Goddess for the rest of the day. Whether it was her intention to leave me in the throes of these feelings like that or not I’ll never know, but that’s how the day panned out. Work was uneventful going into the evening and so I only had those sensations and that urge to keep me company, pressing at me constantly. The long tease was really in full effect now; although I knew I would have to keep asking I could no longer be sure she would give me permission, I had no idea how long she would make me wait, or what her overall plans were. Thinking about these things is a bit of a mindfuck in itself, and I do that to myself when I get swept up in all the what ifs. These different feelings from Goddess all feed into each other even without her direct input and create a very heady mix that leaves me feeling rather gooey more often than not.

The next day Goddess actually messaged me first. It said, ‘Some ones in for a tough day today’. I didn’t know what that meant at first, but I soon found out. Goddess had posted a video of herself in red in the cheeky chat channel…and I looked at it. Like I said before, I had to look…and this time she had even given me a warning essentially! But I didn’t even really think about it, I followed the notification and there she was in the video resplendent in red. She looked so beautiful as she always does, and as soon as I saw her I was flooded with that familiar spike of pleasure taking me right to the edge and that craving for a release. I wasn’t even at work yet, in fact I hadn’t even gotten out of bed! As I laid there squirming a little from the sensations I asked Goddess for permission to release but she denied me saying that I had looked at the video. I told her I couldn’t help it but she didn’t relent, only reaffirmed what she said before about it being a tough day ahead for me…followed by an orgasm trigger. Another sharp spike of pleasure struck me, powerfully and insistently…and the need for that release only grew stronger. By this time I’d really passed the point of measuring how urgent that need was, it was just consuming and invading…and yet the need itself brought with it its own kind of pleasure. Now the not knowing when or what would happen was coming into play, that subtle (or not so subtle) mindfuck that was working on me without Goddess even saying anything. Neither of us had mentioned anything about when the teasing might end, and she wouldn’t tell me if it did come up. Not for me to know. God I loved it.

I told Goddess I was heading to work, perhaps in some vain hope that she would grant me the release before I left, but she simply said she hoped it would be fun for me. Well she wasn’t wrong! Going through the day caught up in her effects is pleasurable as well as the physical sensations those effects make me feel, and it wasn’t long before they were intensified further still. More red. I know it wasn’t posted solely for my benefit, but I couldn’t help but imagine a cheeky smile on Goddess’ face thinking about what it might do to me. And as before, I couldn’t help but look. This time she didn’t even respond when I asked for permission to release! A few more hours went by and the sensations were bubbling around inside me, all I could think about was how much I needed to release. And although the urge was intensely powerful it was never unpleasant, pleasurable sensations only. I had to message Goddess again later to tell her how intense it was, but still no permission. Instead she just changed the subject to ask me about something else…as always she had me right where she wanted me. She could have ended it at any time but I could feel she was enjoyed drawing every last second of it out.

The day ended much as it had begun; a little message from Goddess pre-empting the fact that more of her in red had just been posted. It goes without saying now that I had to look; I knew it would be something that affected me, but I was just so caught up in her effects…in her. I adore her. After receiving my message confirming that I had indeed seen it and been influenced by it, she wished me good night and that was it. This was at around 8.30pm so I spent the remainder of the evening flooded by the pleasure and physical sensations, aching with pent up desire to release but knowing that it wouldn’t come. In the past when Goddess has been playing with me during sessions she has escalated these feelings to such a point that I’ve needed to beg her to let me release as it had become so extreme. The physical sensations were not at that point now as the spikes has been spaced out during the day, but I really needed to release now. It was getting harder to manage it as it had gone on for so long, and what’s more with us being on the verge of the weekend I knew I wouldn’t hear that much from Goddess and so would probably be left to deal with those feelings for at least a couple of days more. I can’t deny that was certainly a very heady and exciting thought even though the intensity of what I was feeling was now so strong.

I didn’t hear from Goddess at all on the 16th. Again it was the weekend, and not only that she was having her pedicure so I knew she would be busy. I sent her a message wishing her well and left it at that. I was only on a short shift at work so I wouldn’t be wrestling with the effects for as long as I had been on the previous days, but they still served as an acute distraction! The physical sensations and feeling of being right on the edge of release had subsided now I’d slept, but as ever that deep set urge to release was there…a familiar companion by this stage. I needed it. Really needed it. My thoughts were never far from it, but there was no way I could find release without Goddess’ say so. In some ways the weekend was a relief as the physical pleasure was not spiked up as it had been in the past few days, I had only that need there with me. And again, it didn’t stop me from doing anything I might have done ‘normally’, Goddess’ effects never make me unsafe or incapable in that way. And more so on the 17th – Goddess very kindly sent me some pictures of her beautiful feet to show off the pedicure she had, and the sight of her soles much like the scent trigger sweeps me away into bliss. There are many effects Goddess has woven into her feet that have a significant effect on me, and they wash over me instantly. They are so hypnotic to me, and even a simple image can start to take me to that magical place…it’s so blissful, soothing and positive I can’t quite do it justice. It’s divine. I was focusing on them, letting them take me to that place, spacing out almost. It was like an antidote to the intense need to release, not that this was negative in any way whatsoever, but it served to transport me to a different realm…and a different kind of pleasure. Beautiful, sensual and intimate. I love it.

With Goddess not being around, the physical sensations were not stirred as much within me, but that also meant I had more time to ruminate on everything that had been taking place over the last few days. And not just that, but thinking ahead about what might happen, what Goddess’ intentions might be, how long she planned to keep me in this state and what would happen at the end of it all when it came. I think it’s fair to say I mindfucked myself; I thought about all these what ifs and possibilities and got swept up in them. It elicits the same feelings as when Goddess mindfucks me herself; I can form my own ideas about what is happening but I can never be sure, I can never truly know what is right or going to happen. I love it so much, it makes me feel very gooey and melty for sure. Maybe she had put these things in my mind herself, that was also possible…it all comes down to whether she permits me to remember. As I dwelled on all these things something quite particular came to me; the monthly workshop was coming up on the 20th…what if she wasn’t going to let me release until then? She has often used me for her demonstrations in the workshops, was that her plan all along? Wow, that was another three days away! But it wasn’t just that…I knew that when I spoke to her next I would tell her these thoughts I had been having; I always do, and even if I didn’t she has the means to extract any bit of information from me chooses at any time. What if she hadn’t been thinking this but when I told her it would give her the idea and she would do it then? I spent a lot of the evening thinking about this, and indeed I did message Goddess to tell her what I’d been thinking even though I knew I wouldn’t get a reply until the morning. This wait and these thoughts made me more excited, it was…thrilling.

In the morning she prompted me to tell her this overarching thought, and I did. She didn’t state anything outright, but instead implied something that I hadn’t thought of…that it might last longer still. I mentioned that once the workshop rolled round I would have been in this state for a week, and she responded that it would ‘only’ have been a week and that I was hopeful it might come to an end then. This sent me into a bit of a spiral, a further mindfuck…would she really do that? Was she just getting me to think that, teasing me more? I had no way of knowing. She definitely could do it, I had no doubts of that. it was such a strong need now, and this mindfuck just made me feel more gooey all I could do was ask for permission to release again, but it wasn’t given. I couldn’t help myself in spilling out all these thoughts to her, another passive sort of effect that just takes place when and as it will. This conversation dominated my thoughts as the day moved on, and later it brought with it another red trigger that spiked up the physical pleasure in me again. The sensations washing over me, taking over every fibre and making me feel amazing. Once again I had been compelled to look, in much the same way I was compelled to tell Goddess exactly what I had been thinking about in the full knowledge it might give Goddess ideas that she could apply to what she was doing. Once more no release was given, and that was Goddess’ word and I accepted it. My need to follow her word was stronger than my need to release, that always take priority. And no release could be given without her word anyway. At this point I could only imagine how intense the orgasm would be when it was finally granted! The last conversation we had that day was when I finally asked her if this was an experiment, but of course no answer was given.

As it turned out, I would not have to wait all that much longer to find out. I was working early and so did not message Goddess first thing, instead I just started going about the day while experiencing the familiar aching need for my release. The long tease was definitely in full effect now! Around midmorning I received a message from Goddess asking what my plans were for the day, what time I was finished and when I’d be home. I started to feel that something might be coming when she asked this, and that was indeed the case. She told me that I would transcribe the Inner Warrior track for her, and once I had sent her the file I would release all that pent up need that had been building for days! Wow! I was hit by several feelings when I read this instruction, I had to take a few moments to properly absorb it all. Primarily I was elated, as following instructions that Goddess gives me always feels so pleasurable and so right. Performing an action that she has bade me to do makes me feel so content, happy and positive. It’s wonderful! I was also excited as it meant that the release I had been so desperately needing for days was now in sight! I had to wonder if this had been her plan all along and asked her as much…but of course she gave no details away.

For the rest of my shift this was all I could think about, I was so excited to get going. I’ve transcribed a few of her tracks at her request in the past, only this time she had given me a time limit – it had to be done by 6.30pm. I was wondering what the particular reason might be that she needed it for by this time, but I didn’t follow it up. My focus on the task at hand was such that it gave me a distraction from the intense need to release. I was down to finish my shift at 3pm, but I arranged to leave early to make sure I had enough time to get it done as the track is just over an hour long! It was a good thing that I did too, as my usual method of listening to small chunks of track at a time to transcribe them exactly wouldn’t have been sufficient. Instead I let it play for longer and did my best to type everything that was said as quickly as I could. While I was listening to Goddess speak in the track I was typing furiously, making several typing errors along the way but going back and correcting them periodically. I can’t deny that I was eager to finish in order to be granted my release at long last, but the dominating thought in my mind was to get this task done on time to please Goddess. My focus was such that the need for release was at the back of my mind, and I was pushing on with the work instead of becoming swayed by listening to Goddess’ voice, which has definitely happened on previous occasions when I’ve transcribed things for her. I was just driven, typing and typing to get it done, and the minutes on the track flew by! Again it was a good thing that I did leave work early, as the whole thing took me over two hours to complete. I was also very concerned that my laptop might overheat given how stifling the heatwave was proving to be on that day, but fortunately that didn’t happen. I finished it all and had it ready to send by around 5.50pm. The pleasure hadn’t been growing in me as I was typing, and I wasn’t caught up in the physical sensations, so there was only that intensely deep urge to release which was about to be satisfied. Excitedly, and even somewhat nervously, I loaded up the file and sent it to Goddess.

As soon as I did, the release hit me. It was so gloriously satisfying and pleasurable I can’t even begin to say. The need had gotten so powerful by this point, the sensations had all built up so much that it made the final release incredibly explosive. It felt amazing. It was just as desperate and insistent and intense as other releases that Goddess has given me…more so. On those occasions Goddess had revved up the pleasure and sensations more and more and had me wracked with orgasmic pleasure, but over a relatively short space of time, when we had been in a session or whenever. With this long tease, it was like every spike of pleasure, every time I had been brought to the edge and had not been given release, had stacked…resulting in this major eruption of an orgasm. Hand in hand with this had been the urge and need to release which I had never experienced for such a length of time before. It had become consuming, on my mind constantly. I was sat in bed with my laptop when I finished typing and sent the transcript, and once the release washed over me I had to lie down as it was so intense I couldn’t have stayed upright. I writhed and squirmed, the pleasure blazing through me powerfully. I had no concept of how long it lasted, absolutely nothing else existed in that moment. I wasn’t even thinking of Goddess, the orgasm swept everything else clean out of my mind. I moaned in pleasure, cried out practically, as I was overcome with these sensations. I can’t think of how else to describe it as it was quite unlike anything else I have experienced. Not just the HFO, but the satisfaction of finally being permitted to release after waiting so long…it was needed so badly. Everything had stacked over the course of the week and now it had come back to me in full. I quivered and trembled and shook, lost in this sensation. Unbelievable orgasmic bliss from everything that had pent up. And as I’ve described, it was far more than just a need…it was a pent-up need. Goddess had described it as such, and her effects always stack and serve to feed into each other when she creates them in me. Incredible pleasure, my body cried out with it. A real full bodied HFO that engulfed me so utterly and completely.

When it eventually began to subside I felt drained, exhausted even. In a way it even felt unusual to not have that deep need to release tugging at me any more as I had become so used to it since the initial trigger had worked its magic on me. What came next was a great sense of relief and of calmness, serenity. I had really needed that. I laid there drifting in the afterglow, which was strong after this particular orgasm. I felt so heady and intoxicated; intoxicated by pleasure, by Goddess and her effects. Like with the orgasm itself I don’t know quite how long I laid there for, as this feeling is a beautiful experience in itself and I wanted to savour it. My body was tingling, I was clammy and out of breath…and it felt amazing. I had not known such an experience could happen but with Goddess all things are possible. The whole experience made me feel wonderful – the whole experience from start to finish. The need had been pressing as the days had gone on but it had culminated in this divine bliss which I was floating in. The orgasm had been intense, pleasurable and oh so gratifying. It can’t be overstated just how much I needed it and was ready for it by the time I had finished Goddess’ task, but if she had instructed that it was to last for longer, then I would have followed that.

Later on in the evening I found that Goddess had responded to me not that long after I sent the transcript. I didn’t find it until much later, but in it she said that I had pleased her. This elated me still further, it really made me sparkle and put a huge smile on my face. To know that she was happy, that what she had instructed me to do had pleased her, was as wonderful a gift as the orgasm. I certainly slept well that evening, still carried by the afterglow of the orgasm and my thoughts about Goddess and everything that had happened over the past week. The long tease. I really had thought that Goddess might have prolonged it to the workshop or even beyond. She could have given me a suggestion that I would not be able to HFO during the workshop even if she instructed it for everyone else, could have prevented it in some other way! That was a definite mindfuck…a mega one as Goddess described the next day. She also planted the seed of possibility that she might well do it again someday; that hit me hard as I hadn’t considered that. Something for me to think about for sure, as now whenever I need permission for another release I’ll be wondering if it’s the start of another long tease.