Diary of a Mind Fucked Footboy Part 29 (Patreon)

01/04/2021

Today has been a full shift at work so not really had the usual amount of time I would like to dedicate to the Discord server or chatting with Mistress, but even in the brief conversations that we have had today she has really made her presence felt.

We chatted only periodically as the afternoon began. She knew I was at work. The first thing that got me was when she made a casual reference to my not getting gooey touching the sander. I say casual reference, because the effect it had was certainly more than that. The mention of the word gooey by itself stopped me in my tracks – even though it hadn’t been sent directly at me, as it were…seeing it come from Mistress was still a strong effect. Those feelings can so easily start to creep in with just the merest word, something that she knows very well. As with so many things I’m sure she knew the effect it had…she always knows. Everything that she says and does has been carefully chosen to create these effects even if it is said casually. Mini mindfuck as I can’t know for sure, but that’s my thought. And when she mentioned the sander too it of course conjured up all the memories of the ongoing work mindfuck that has been so deeply laid in now. Astonishing to think how long that has been going! A few more messages along these lines were exchanged…in some ways I would only have to look at the thing to go a bit gooey…and these made me feel so good each time I read them.

What really caught me good and proper though was when Mistress sent me a message telling me how my shift could become a whole lot different with one snap of my fingers at her request. I was sat down when I read that and it did actually make me squirm in my seat a little; the way it had been said so unequivocally and the knowledge that it was so completely true...the declaration on how easily it could be made to happen, and knowing it was undeniable. It made me feel very gooey. A few minutes later the request to snap my fingers did come, and I did it discreetly under the desk and sat there as the feelings took hold of me. I shook a little but with being in public it wasn’t as overtly intense as it might have been, but I still felt the orgasmic pleasure and its waves going through me. How wonderful it felt – the pleasure and the expression of Mistress’ power over me. It lasted about twenty-five minutes; I was told I may snap them again at 5.10pm but I didn’t actually see that message until 5.14pm, so there was more to enjoy! It was all very exhilarating and stimulating, the physical pleasure combined with the raw joy of Mistress playing with me like that…so exciting, so pleasurable. The effects of all this left me a very melty footboy and I was so positive for the remainder of my shift. Mistress is amazing!

Later on in the evening Mistress released the final behind the scenes video from the photoshoot involving the red corset. The effect was instantaneous as ever, the pleasure rushing me with powerful force but coming to a complete halt just at that critical moment which kept me exactly on the edge, feeling like I needed, had to release. It takes me like this each and every time the trigger is used and each and every time it is powerful and pleasurable, and amazing. I sent Mistress a message asking for permission and she responded not long after…I could feel the glee coming through the screen at my reaction to it all. She advised me to lie down first as it would be really intense, and once I told her I had done so, she permitted the release. And it was intense. Being laid down I was more relaxed and so my body even more open to those feelings, every part of myself devoting to it as it became my reality there and then. Rush of pleasure, delicious orgasm and release. When I’m laid it means my body won’t double up as it sometimes does when I’m sat and so the flow of pleasure felt even more complete and total. The afterglow was strong too and I was there feeling so gooey and submissive at all these effects. There was an amusing moment afterwards when Mistress had to check to make sure she hadn’t caused all this to happen while I was actually still at work! I don’t know if she had been imagining I had laid discreetly on the floor to experience it all and we had a giggle about it.

I ended up purchasing the knee pads we had talked about a few times not long after. I wasn’t sure if it was a mindfuck each time Mistress mentioned them, so I decided to play it safe and actually get them. This seemed to amuse her, and we again joked about the lanyard…at which point she asked me if I could design it. I returned to the website I have designed a few things on and put something together with a picture of myself, Mistress’ logo and some of the things we said would go on it…and she loved it! I was elated! So happy! It made me excited that she liked it so much and I refined the idea and sent her a few more examples. She loved them and said she would buy it! I sent her the link and that was the last I heard from her in the evening – am really excited to receive that! Mistress is so good to me and gives me many wonderful gifts in so many ways.

02/04/2021

The knee pads arrived today, quite early in the morning actually, which I was surprised by considering when I had ordered them. They are big and have good substantial pads to them so they should be very effective when I end up using them so often! I sent Mistress a picture of one of them on and it amused her a lot, which alone made it worth getting them. Still not really sure whether it is all a mindfuck saying I would need them, but best to have them and not need them than the alternative.

We also started considering dates for another session this month, which is very exciting. They are now always so intense and enjoyable and impactful on me in so many ways, I adore them. Having one every month is also just bliss, being able to connect with Mistress so frequently in that way in addition to all the wonderful gifts and times that she plays with me in between. I am just so lucky to be on this journey, and she is extremely good to me. I feel so safe with her as my guide…and I mean that in so many ways. Not just safe when she is in control of my mind and body, but safe and confident in terms of the strength and foundation of our dynamic and relationship. In the past on the BDSM scene I have had a couple of bad experiences – people just no longer communicating with me for no apparent reason, leaving me behind when the next new ‘fresh’ play partner came along, saying how important it was that we took the time to work on something and then pretty much instantly jumping to the same level with someone else…things like that. Perhaps some people do not think of BDSM relationships quite like other relationships and for them it is easier to let go of them. In a way I guess it kind of left me with abandonment issues for a time; if/when these things ended it would still have been bad but at least had there been communication and discussion the closure would have helped. But anyway this is now very much in the past given the confidence that Mistress has helped me to develop. Also I know I am by no means the only person who might have had a bad experience, and I only mention it now as a way to process just how far I’ve come under Mistress’ guidance and how much more different and positive everything I share with her feels. This is wonderful and she is wonderful, everything we share makes me so happy and I know she would always communicate anything with me when the need arose. I feel so safe and so valued under her influence and it is an incredible feeling.

Chanel x