Diary of a Mind fucked Foot boy Diary Part 26 (Patreon)

25/03/2021

What a day this has been. A lot to process and work through, in some ways quite unlike anything that has happened so far in this while journey. I will do my best to document and process it as best as I can.

The first message of the day I received from Mistress was one asking me if she had my permission to show me in the video of the HFO workshop. So this meant it was nearly ready! I was excited and eager to see it, curious to watch it back and observe myself, get a new perspective on the whole experience…and if truth be told experience such sensations again as I would be listening to exactly the same things that Mistress had said on the night, and she would be giving me permission to release in the video so all good there! She said that my reactions had been as entertaining and informative for her as ever and that she couldn’t wait for me to see it, which of course just made me more excited for the whole thing! I didn’t know exactly when it was coming, but the thought of it accompanied me from then on.

We carried on chatting and it was another nice day with all the folks on Discord too. An unusual situation developed when trivia and quizzes came up as a subject between Mistress and I, and she joked about how everyone sat at the table would erupt in orgasm when we won while she would just be sat there. Well the effect of the word took me straight away, creating those erotic and powerfully pleasurable sensations in me, which started to insistently push at me for release. I asked permission for it and Mistress asked me why…her reaction seemed to imply that she hadn’t been aware of it until I pointed it out, but as always I have absolutely no way of knowing if this was just her particularly delightful way of toying with me. Mindfuck. She instructed that I could release at 11.30am (about ten minutes) but that with each minute that passed I would start to feel more and more orgasmic, and that perhaps I should lay down. I did exactly that. The effect of the word by itself was powerful, bringing me that very first burst of release and suspending me there, prolonging my pleasure and keeping me in the edge…and this did only grow more powerful as the minutes passed. It began to grow more powerful and urgent, the need grew, and the pleasure pushed at me. Even as I laid there and started to writhe my thoughts turned to the power and influence Mistress has over me, to create effects like this. My legs in particular couldn’t keep still, and when the time came there was a strong release. It had built up just assuredly as if Mistress had kept on using triggers on me…prolonged and built up to heighten the power and intensity of that release. It was sweet and beautiful and wonderful…and afterwards I savoured the feelings and the afterglow, just laid there drinking them in. When I told Mistress about it she said I was a good boy…which just melted me completely.

We chatted a little bit more until I had to head off to work in the mid-afternoon. As this was my first day back from my holiday there was lots to catch up on so I didn’t have as much time to dwell on the work mindfuck or look to Discord as much as I might have done initially, but they were still on my mind, of course. Like many of the gifts Mistress has given me this has a positive effect on me, in this case from the pleasure of the memory and the fun we have had talking about it. I had been there just about two hours when I was able to have a look at my messages, and there was one waiting from Mistress – ‘why don’t you hold my pocket watch for me?’ I took a picture of it to show her it was there, I was going to do that anyway, and then took hold of it as she had instructed. The feelings began to pulse and radiate through me as soon as I closed my hand around it, gooey and arousing pleasure gently permeating me. Arousing and wonderful pleasure, though not bringing me to the edge as with other triggers. Although I was in public at work I was sat behind the desk at the time and obviously the watch is easily contained in my pocket and/or hand, so I was a little obscured as these effects took hold of me, and with me being in that situation I was probably more grounded than I might have been otherwise. Mistress simply told me that I would keep a hold of the watch until she gave me further instructions…and those words just hung there as I read them. What a thrilling and stimulating feeling.

About half an hour later she told me that I may put it down at 6pm (another half hour away) at which point I would orgasm for her very powerfully. The use of the orgasm trigger intensified what I was already feeling, making it a more insistent and demanding feeling of pleasure and need to release. Again I was more grounded being at work and in public, but the pleasure was there constantly and delightfully. I kept the watch in my hand the whole time as instructed other than a couple of occasions when it would have been unsafe to do so in matters of lifting heavy kit. As it happened, the return of a piece of kit to our depot coincided perfectly with the arrival of 6pm. I processed it and took it to the large storage crate we have outside, and inside this crate when 6pm came. This storage box is not only outside but on the edge of the car park so essentially I was alone. The rush of pleasure was intense, and the release was powerful. I leant against the inside of the box hidden from view as the sensations washed over me – a very powerful hands-free orgasm as I had been instructed. I shook and quivered, moaned softly as the pulses of what I had been feeling culminated in this strong climax. I’m not sure how long it lasted…the afterglow came, but I was aware of the fact of exactly where I was and the situation I was in. This brought me round faster than in other circumstances, and the fresh air from the walk back inside also helped. I took a moment to just sit at the desk and savour the feeling as much as I could…I must have been positively glowing sat there! While I had been away Mistress had sent me a message to say that she had booked in the date for a pedicure! This made me smile and I was already feeling very positive and energised from the effect of the watch and orgasm that it just left me feeling great for the rest of my shift. I sent a small message of reply and that was it until work was over.

The night was not over though as it turned out. Two very significant things happened when I got home and walked through the door. Firstly, my spontaneous orgasm…exactly like the previous occasions when I stepped over the threshold. That step inside causing a rush of new pleasure making me orgasm and ride the wave of that pleasure, and how wonderful it felt. Perhaps not as intense as some as it happened immediately out of the blue without the time taken to prolong or intensify it as has been the case with some prior, but still powerful. And again a demonstration of the influence that Mistress has over me to create such effects out of the blue…when we are as far apart as we are! No matter what happens I am constantly in awe of this and can only reiterate how lucky I am to be in this situation.

What happened secondly was different, and had just as profound an effect on me, albeit in a different fashion. A mindfuck, probably the most impactful one so far. It affected me in a number of ways, making me question not just different sides of a particular situation but also what I had done and been told while in trance at some point, what I might have remembered or created in my mind, ergo what was real and not. It made me seriously think on what I might have done and what had happened to me over a period of time.

After the orgasm subsided, a new feeling came along with afterglow. As I gathered myself from it I was hit by a realisation, something that hit me square in the chest. It dawned on me that someone I had been speaking to earlier at work was actually Mistress…and I hadn’t realised. I couldn’t believe it, honestly couldn’t believe it. Was gutted. I kept going over things and wondering how on Earth I could have missed something so important. No answer. Had my brain really been friend that much from the orgasmic release that I had? Surely I would have noticed right? It hit me like a tonne of bricks, and I didn’t quite know how to process it. I sat for quite a while just mulling it over before finally getting in touch with Mistress to say so, though I wasn’t quite sure what to say and it wasn’t how I had expected our first meeting to go. When she responded it confused me further – she replied, ‘you remembered’. I wasn’t exactly sure how to take this and just said more about how the realisation had hit me. Then she told me I wasn’t supposed to remember that I had met her. Wasn’t supposed to remember? So what had happened? Was this a mindfuck, had I done something in error? I outlined the hazy details that had come to me…and she asked me to imagine if she had popped in and then had me forget that we had met at all. So is that what had happened, and it hadn’t quite worked? This confused me, and I said as much, and she said this was how she liked me to be. This was the first spark that started to make me think of wider possibilities, that maybe it had all been orchestrated, that it was all part of a design I didn’t get. Maybe I had taken the comment about not supposed to remember as genuine when it was part of a mindfuck? Possibilities started to run through my mind – that we met, and I didn't realise until after, that we met and I forgot altogether until later, that we didn't at all and I'm imagining something I've been told, that I can't remember something, misunderstood something...thinking how anything might have happened really. This was the first time I had started to entertain at least the idea that maybe a suggestion Mistress had given me hadn’t panned out exactly as she wanted. I had no idea of course, but the idea at least occurred. Had she suggested something, and I had misunderstood? Maybe if she had told me not to remember, I had taken that to mean not remembering the suggestion at all…and I certainly had no memory of that from the last session or any other. Maybe the comment about remembering was in reference to that? Or maybe she was just toying with me completely and it was all part of her plan?

This line of thinking was strengthened a little by the next thing she asked, if I found it a little bit arousing. And honestly…yes. Mistress’ influence on me had been on my mind at a couple of times through the course of the day as I have documented, but this really brought it to the fore. This was as mindfucked as I had ever felt, I didn’t just not know a fact, it was a whole scenario…I had no idea how it had come about, or even whether it was meant to unfold as it had. So many levels of questioning, and the thought that Mistress was able to cause this so easily, to toy with me so readily…that was hot. I had no idea what the facts were at all. Was I not supposed to remember the event at all? Was this just to make me question what I was remembering? What was intentional, what wasn’t? That was probably the key to it all…not knowing what had been intentional and what hadn’t – whether what had happened in my mind or in reality was planned or influenced in a particular way. I have tried my best to document it as well as I can but there is no real conclusion to it all, so I am just asking questions rather than articulating facts. I felt more mindfucked now than confused, feeling that even if I had misunderstood some suggestion that Mistress had managed to adapt to it and stir those waters as she so often does, and no matter what feeling safe in her guidance. I suppose it was pretty irrational, but I was a little troubled by the fact I might have done that…even maybe that I might have disappointed Mistress. Really didn’t like the thought of that, and eventually just had to ask if I had or not. I guess really that’s the nature of experiments – to test how something works, or indeed if it does at all, testing to see what happens and what the facts are. All this has come to me later in looking back on events, at the time I was fretting about that a bit.

So I asked the question outright. Not only did Mistress say that I hadn’t upset or disappointed her, but that I had pleased her. The effect of this was palpable and potent. Being told something like that elates me no matter how good I might already be feeling, but this was like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders, instantly making me feel more positive and boosted. Floating almost! I still had no idea about the truth of events, and I doubt I ever will which is another mindfuck itself, but the fact that whatever had happened Mistress was pleased was ultimate relief and gooey pleasure. I also know that she would not say that sort of thing if it were not the case, and so after that I felt so much better. Mistress is so wonderful.

The night still had more to come as I had not yet watched the HFO workshop video. I laid down in bed and started playing it, excited for what was to come even though I’d been through it. It was brilliant. It had a very powerful effect on me multiple times throughout from all the triggers that were used. As I was watching it back, able to see Mistress this time, I approached it differently than on the night. I still can't believe how much she said that trigger word in the first ten minutes or so! It was still incredible and potent as ever, and I was able to see her reactions and expressions this time. I noticed her wink a couple of times during...and the use of the watch too! I tried my best to focus on what I was watching during the trance section, watching my own reactions and how it looked visually. I could totally see those moments when it started and how strongly it was affecting me. It was also pretty euphoric when she was calling me her foot boy in front of everyone, describing what we had done together. That was wow, just wondrous. It made me feel amazing as it had on the night, and hearing it back was sublime. I also thought it was a wonderful workshop, of course. Mistress described and explained things so well and was wonderful in getting folks into a mindset for learning as it were, letting them know whatever stage they're presently at is okay. All so well presented and informative and helpful. That combined with CJ’s editing and other work made it all absolutely top notch. Life is wonderful!