Diary of my Footboy #Mindfucked- Part 3 (Patreon)

Hello everyone! Please find below diary entries from Mind fucked footboy Thursday and Friday... getting closer and closer to the 2 sessions... the mind fucks continue! 

Day Four – Thursday

Well today has been…different, to say the least. If I had to sum it all up in one word it would have to be ‘noted’.

Mistress and I started chatting during the course of the morning about various things, I love chatting with her about everyday things just as much as everything else – as well as my Mistress I think of her as a mentor and guide, and a good friend. Hope she feels the same. She caught me off guard a little when we talked how I would react when with her in person – she told me it would be however she has told my subconscious to react and I know she is right, and that was a mini mindfuck from wondering exactly what she would suggest to it (if anything!), and also how far ahead she has thought about the things she will do to me.

After this we talked more about experiments, mindfucks, this diary and how open I am to her now…there was a particularly strong sense of realisation and pleasure when I expressed how much her effect on me is part of my waking world now. Looking back now maybe she was building me up to what she was about to do, maybe she wasn’t…again, it’s a mindfuck to wonder, and playing exactly into what she wants, I’m sure (wow…love that).

Out of the blue she responded to me with ‘noted’. Now, I’m fairly sure this word hasn’t been actually implanted in my mind as a PHS…but that doesn’t stop it having an effect. The scent trigger wasn’t implanted in my mind during an actual session but now it is just as powerful as anything else Mistress can use on me. With noted...it’s all to do with the connotations and what it implies. When I tell Mistress something, some fantasy or intimate detail or whatever, and that’s how she responds it implies to me that it has become something that she can potentially use on me in the future. It is another aspect of myself that has become open to her, another door that she can walk through. Like with the mindfucks I find it so much fun not knowing the extent of details that she has taken notice of. So although the word itself might not be a trigger it’s what it represents that makes it cause such a heady feeling. I responded in much the same way I always do to that, except then she said it again. And again. And again.

I think this went on for over an hour. It didn’t take long for it to start making me feel gooey, and I still can’t quite put my finger on exactly why, as I hadn’t been telling Mistress about the kind of details I just mentioned. Maybe it was something to do with the memory of the previous feelings, the implication of the implication? I’m not even sure that makes sense writing it, kind of hard to define. Association in my mind of the kind of things Mistress can do to and with me, perhaps. It really started to make me feel quite submissive as it went on, and I started to figure it was quite deeply implanted in me even if it’s not a ‘traditional’ trigger. Maybe subconsciously it was something to do with looking ahead to the effects Mistress will create in me during the upcoming sessions, rather than looking back at something that’s just been said. If she is preparing me for all this in some way then I’m really starting to open up to her even more now.

With the feelings of submission and meltiness I eventually had to take a moment to just stop and revel in them. Again, maybe that was the purpose, to prompt such feelings. I will never know. I took the opportunity to listen to Mistress’ voice and imagine her feet to help myself relax, and from there centre myself again. The afterglow from these feelings was lovely, and it did feel like a pretty strong mindfuck as I had no firm idea what had caused me to feel like this with it never happening before. What it all really comes down to is Mistress’ effect on me. That’s powerful. That’s undeniable. She can experiment on me how she sees fit, and she certainly had! She told me that the experiment had been successful, but of course the exact details of its aim and everything else would never be known to this foot boy. Nevertheless when she said that it made me feel happy and fulfilled – apart from how good it feels to have it happen to me, I do love that what Mistress and I do together can help her learn and develop, possibly a similar sort of mindset to when she uses noted. Again I was struck by how subtle these mindfucks can be now, that one word is all it takes and just has to be applied in a certain way. I hadn’t imagined this at all when we started, but I am swept away with enjoyment on how it is turning out. Maybe that was part of Mistress’ intention…to really hammer home how easily she can do that now.

Day Five – Friday

A quiet one today. I haven’t chatted with Mistress as much, but as I haven’t been at work I have had plenty of time to ruminate on everything that is to come, and that has happened recently.

Of course Mistress is always with me in some way shape or form, whether it be her directly affecting me or the effects of everything we have done together so far, even down to just being on the Discord chat and thinking about her there. Her positivity is always close to me as she has helped me grow and become more confident, and of course the effect of her feet is always there for me to call on as a way to relax and keep the more negative feelings at bay if they should ever crop up.

Getting ever closer to the first of the two sessions now, only the weekend to go and then they will be here. More and more excited for them as time goes on, not only for the experience itself, but for what it will mean for how Mistress can shape me afterwards. Is she planning to implant more PHS? She did say perhaps there were further physical triggers like the mask in my future, but once again this could just be a small mindfuck to have me wondering about things. At this point I don’t see what sort of suggestion she could apply to what sort of object to bring that about, but she knows me so well and could shape anything as she wanted to.

And of course now I know that the two sessions will not be the only interactions I have with her over the week; there is the video admin meeting and the live hypnosis session to consider as well. Now of course I know these things are not about me at all, but I can’t help but wonder if there’ll be some effect of our sessions that makes them more…interesting for me to experience. How will I cope listening to Mistress’ voice and not going into a trance on Saturday?! If I am administrating I guess I will have to find a way somehow! Or…maybe I will be in a trance and still able to function in my role? Wow.

So I’ve had time to think about the mindfucks of the last few days and the possibility of ones to come. Does thinking about these things make them more powerful? Both in terms of me thinking about them retrospectively and going over the memories and details when Mistress uses these things on me, like yesterday when she kept saying noted. Perhaps the key is the association and implication idea – Mistress and I have been working together for a while now and she knows how to push my buttons. In the same way the association of her feet from my custom track creates many pleasurable effects in me, perhaps too the association of other things I have felt under her come back to me…and all very likely on the coattails of the custom track as well.

I hope you enjoyed this installment! More next week!

Chanel x