My muse (Patreon)

Lera

The last week was very full of new old insights and conclusions. Once again, I felt devastated, exhausted and irritated. The reason is that I don't pay attention to myself, I want to please everyone so much that I prioritize other people instead of myself, I load myself with events, meetings, filming, and after three weeks I understand that not a single day or even an evening was dedicated to myself. In addition to this came the understanding that I often play as an actor... I imitate some emotions because they are generally accepted or I should react in this way to one or another event, but in reality I am empty inside. And if earlier I thought that all these people whom I put as a priority cause me emotions, now I understand that they are nothing at all. I myself cause them in myself. And in fact, I don't need anyone. I'm not saying that all the people around have lost their meaning. It's just that there are far fewer of them, those who really matter.

I think that's a great insight.)