Selfportraits (Patreon)

Part 2

For the first time in a long time, I can say that I am in a good mood. The desire to shoot has returned to me - when I wander through the streets of the city I constantly notice beautiful light and interesting locations, now I also pay attention to the deserted locations). I started listening to the music again and swaying my body a little to the rhythm ... it's still awkward to move with my whole body.

And even more embarrassing when you communicate with friends and family - to say that you are doing well. You cannot fully share your impressions, what you saw, who you met, what you tried new - because you know that where a person is now, in fact, there is nothing better than quiet nights without bombs and a day without news about the death of people. And you reproach yourself for the fact that you are safe, that you calmly walk along the street, sleep peacefully and eat. Therefore, conversations with loved ones who stayed in Ukraine end only with my “everything is fine” or “it’s a sin to complain.” Although I really want to complain sometimes - that I'm lonely here, that I can't relax here, that I can't find a job, that I still can't learn these fucking "100 most used verbs" in Spanish.

Many people say that the war will last until the end of the year at best. So I need to force myself not to become limp and get together as much as possible and do everything possible in order to integrate into the local life. I wish myself good luck, but I still hope that I will return to Kyiv soon.