Tondemo Skill - 553 - I Remembered! (Fer) (Patreon)

Eguchi Ren: I, I forgot to upload…

Gumihou: Gumi was slow to upload... anyway, edited some bits. Also, why is this chapter so loooong?

“Yes!”

A large piece of liver was placed in a huge jar. That’s right, we’re now carefully removing the Leviathan’s organs. It was all rather gruesome, but I guess it’s a necessary job.

[1] Personally, I was getting bored of the whole thing. It was interesting for maybe the first couple of hours, but frankly speaking, it was now more gory and boring than anything else. Also, seeing Elland-san split the Leviathan’s belly with such open glee was kind of… disturbing.

Speaking of splitting bellies, it turns out that breaking through the skin is one of the trickiest parts of dismantling a creature like the Leviathan. In fact, it was not just Leviathans, but dragons in general have very tough skin and scales. Normally, Mithril knives and swords should be enough to make the cut, but for this Leviathan, magic swords were imperative.

Anyway, once the initial cut was made, the internal organs could be cut open with a regular sharp iron knife. The muscle still had to be cut with a Mithril knife though. After thinking about it, I have to admit that it all made sense. After all, no matter how powerful the creature is, it’s not like they could train their internal organs to be impervious to swords and knives.

That said, Elland-san insisted on using his Mithril knife for all kinds of work outside the skin cutting ‘It’s a Leviathan! It would be a waste to have jagged ends here and there, so of course, I’m going to use my Mithril knife!’

Personally, I don’t care what the crazy Elf does with his time so long as we get the meat, but it was a bit shocking to see the actual internal organs that were taken out. Several large jars had been prepared to quickly store these precious items, but none of them were large enough to contain even the Leviathan spleen. So, all of the organs: heart, lung, liver, spleen etc. all had to be cut down to size and stored separately. It was all rather fascinating.

It was obviously even more fascinating for Elland-san who kept muttering ‘fumu fumu, so this is how your xx is positioned, eh? How interesting~’ and ‘oooh, the gloss and elasticity of this liver~~’.

As someone who handles raw meat and has butchered a few monsters on my own, I’m not [1] at all disturbed by the gore, but Elland-san’s fascinated star at every bit of stuff that he took out of the Leviathan’s cavity is just…

Well…

“Right, let’s wrap it up for the day!” Bram-san’s voice called out across the field.

“Eehhh! But I haven’t finished dissecting~”

Yes, he really did use the word ‘dissecting’.

“I know, but it’s time to pack it up.”

“Whyy?!! I don’t mind staying here all night!!”

“Even if you don’t mind, I still have to take responsibility. The number of guards we have are limited. Not to mention, the workers are tired work will only get more difficult in the dark.”

“But-”

“We have been out in the field all day and had hardly anything to eat. We still have to work all day tomorrow, so go home, eat, sleep and get ready to work again. But tomorrow!” [2]

[2] That was that.

In fact, my familiars were already grumbling about being hungry. I think the smell of raw Leviathan meat was probably pretty delicious to them, especially to Fer. I try not to look at him as I put the huge Leviathan away in my [Item Box].

[3] “Mu, can’t they chop off the tail or something for us? I want to eat the Leviathan…”

[3] “Hush, we should allow the experts to do their thing,” I said sternly, even as I wondered over the same thing. It was one thing to drain the blood and take the internal organs out, but can’t they, I don’t know, cut a bit of meat off?

[3] However, I also know that saying something meant talking to Elland-san. The last thing I want is to get into an argument or talk with him that ended up with me promising to let him hug Dora-chan or something. In short, it was better to just… let him do his thing.

Fer was still glaring at me belligerently, so I had to come up with something even as Sui was shouting ‘Hungry~! Hungry~!’ in that cute way of hers.

“”Sorry about the Leviathan,”” I said through telepathy so that Grandpa Gon and Dora-chan could also hear me. “”But what if I serve you [4] Ice Dragon meat?””

“”Yay!!!!””

“Umu, let us hurry home now!”

Let’s count this as a win.

Please read this at kitchennovel dot com ~

[4] The white piece of meat looked a lot like fish meat. I can’t believe that it belonged to that creature called ‘Ice Dragon’. Are Ice Dragon part fish?

[4] Since looking at it doesn’t actually help, I use my tried and trusted ‘cut, salt and grill’ method. [5]

Speaking of which, Elland-san tried to follow us home just now but he was dragged away by Moira-sama. While he was being berated by the angry Elf lady, I quickly got on Fer’s back and sneaked away, trusting Grandpa Gon and Dora-chan to follow from a distance.

Once we were back at the rented mansion, I treated myself to a fortifying cup of black coffee before getting started on dinner. [5] My familiars were chatting excitedly about trying out the new dragon meat, having clearly forgotten about their anticipation for Leviathan meat.

Thank goodness.

Before they could muster up the thought to complain, I downed the last bit of my coffee and got to work. First, I grilled a ‘test piece’ and have a taste.

Hmm, not only does it look a lot like fish, but it also tastes a lot like it too. A nice, firm cut of fish that is both tender yet flaky when grilled.

“Umu, although Ice Dragon’s aren’t quite in the same level as Leviathans, they have similar taste and texture,” said Grandpa Gon.

“Hoo~ is that so? I shall look forward to dinner,” said Fer with a rather smug look on his face.

““Ice Dragon! I can’t wait!!””

“”Ice Dragon~~ Ice Dragon~~””

I ignored the voices of anticipation chattering behind me as I contemplated what to make with this ‘fish’. Hmm, a flaky full full-bodied flesh, kind of like codfish? Shall I make a simple meuniere? No, let’s make something different. I feel like having this [6] tartare sauce so…

“How about a hearty Fish & Chips with tangy Tartare Sauce?”

Yes, it’s been a while since I had fried potatoes and I have some of [6] Alban’s excellent potatoes sitting in my [Item Box]. That’s right, instead of making boring shoestring chips, let’s make potato wedges with skin on!

First, cut the potatoes into wedges and place them in water to soak the starch away. This will make the potatoes crispier.

While the potatoes are soaking, cut the Ice Dragon meat down to the appropriate size, sprinkle with salt and pepper and cover it lightly with flour.

Next, it was time to make the batter.

The ingredients for the batter are flour, baking powder, and salt. Instead of water, use beer to make the batter. I’m not sure why, but batter made with beer always ends up with a crispier finish.

Set out a few pans of oil on the stove for frying. Oh, yes, I should get the potatoes out of the water to dry too. I’ll fry these once they have dried up a little. The trick is to finish the drying process in the oven on low heat if I’m in a hurry.

Fufu, it’s times like this that I really appreciate my six-burner stove~

Once everything had been fried and put away in the [Item Box]. I plan to serve these with ketchup and some homemade Tartare Sauce. I had made a lot before, but did not have the opportunity to eat them yet. I can’t wait~~

Store-bought Tartare Sauce are not bad, but I feel like a homemade Tartare Sauce made with finely chopped boiled eggs, onions, pickles, mayonnaise, salt, pepper and vinegar and seasoned to taste is the best.

I plate the Fish & Chips on wide plates with a side of Tartare Sauce and ketchup before putting everything back into the [Item Box] and moving to the living room where my hungry familiars had been banished to. The last thing I wanted was them staring at me while I tried to put the food together in a vaguely aesthetically pleasing way.

“Right, here we go. I tried frying them.”

“Fumu, it’s not bad, but I don’t want these potatoes.”

No prizes for guessing who said that.

“Hmm, these potato things are crisp, soft and delicious. Umu, somehow, they make me crave alcohol,” said Grandpa Gon as he chewed thoughtfully on the potato wedges.

“Ou, you have great taste~!” I said, giving Grandpa Gon a thumbs up. “These go really well with beer.”

Let’s prepare some beer for myself and Grandpa Gon~

“”That’s the stuff! This Tartare Sauce makes everything taste better!””

“”Aruji~ it’s yummy~~””

Ahhh, my little familiars~~

I pulled out my special refrigeration magic tool. Inside was filled with higher-end craft beer. That’s right, I bought some for myself and left them to chill inside the magic tool when buying stuff for Agni-sama.

I took out a deep bowl for Grandpa Gon and emptied three bottles of beer into it immediately.

“Here you go, good sir,” I said. My time in the service industry kicking in as I pushed the foaming bowl over.

“Oooh, don’t mind if I do~” Grandpa Gon happily gulped down the craft beer. “Buhah! This is amazing! It’s different from the one I had before.”

“Hahah! This is one of the better stuff. The good stuff, you know!?”

“Master,” Grandpa Gon pushed his empty bowl over meaning. “If I may…”

“Oh, you’re done already? Hohoho, you should drink in moderation you know?” I chided even as I popped three more bottles open.

The living room soon became pretty rowdy as we ate and drank to our hearts’ content. The non-beer drinkers have cider or cola with their Fish & Chips.

“I’m back… eh?”

It was the Guild Master, Willem-san.

“Ou, you’re back? Have you eaten?”

“No, but I can see that you are in the middle of a feast while I was out busy cleaning up,” he grumbled.

“It’s not like we’re allowed to do anything, right?” I said reasonably. “Also, my familiars were getting hungry, it’s practically a national crisis.”

Especially since they could flatten a country if they are unhappy.

Haha.

Let’s not think about that.

“Hey, if you haven’t eaten, help yourself to some food and beer. Here, we’re having Fish & Chips. Come on, I’ll open a bottle for you.”

“Oh? Well, if you don’t mind… I’ll have some, thank you.”

I flashed a look at Fer to make sure he didn’t say anything unnecessary, but the legendary creature was lapping up his cider contentedly. I brought out a normal person size Fish & Chips portion along with a side of ketchup and Tartare Sauce and served them to Willem-san. Oh, and a bottle of beer, of course.

Like a true working man, he chugged the beer first.

“Kaahh--! What sort of ale is this? It’s so foamy and delicious!”

“Oh, I happened to have some on hand,” I said vaguely.

Luckily, he did not pursue the matter. Instead, he focussed on the food on his plate, “Hmm, these looked like potatoes, but what’s this one?”

“Well, it’s delicious that’s what,” I said cheerfully. “I recommend eating it with that white sauce.”

Guild Master Willem-san carefully cut a piece of the fried Ice Dragon off and dipped a corner into the Tartare Sauce.

“Hohou~ this is incredible! Is it a type of fish?”

“It’s Ice Dragon,” I said casually.

“… …”

I smiled innocently at him.

“… hold it, I thought I just heard you say… Ice Dragon?”

“Indeed, odd isn’t it? I usually thought of dragon as lizard-like creatures, but some have remarkable red meat like mammals, and then there are dragons with fish-like meat-”

“Y-you!!! Againnn---!!!”

I shrugged, “It really can’t be helped. My familiars wanted to eat them, so I had no choice but to do my best. If Guild Master Willem-san doesn’t want any…”

“No, I will eat it,” he said flatly and stuffed another piece of Ice Dragon into his mouth. After chewing and swallowing, he took another gulp of beer and sighed. “I have since realised that it is wrong for me to expect common sense from you.”

“Eh, well…”

“After all, you are someone who goes around with a Fenrir and an Ancient Dragon as your familiars. That’s far from being normal. I don’t know why I expect you to have common sense… of regular people… Goodness, even the king had to take a step back and control the nobles who were too stupid to know better…”

I coughed and interrupted him with, “Oh, by the way, I noticed the king and queen at the spectator seats too. I wonder when they left?”

“They’re busy people, they left when we started collecting blood.”

“I- I see,” here I thought someone from the royal palace would come and demand a magic sword or  some thing from me, since I have ‘so many’.

“…some of the more idiotic nobles were making noise about making you hand over at least one or two of your magic swords for ‘security reasons’. The King put a stop to that kind of talk by saying that such a stupid suggestion could potentially offend you and cause you to move to another country.”

I nodded, “I would, I totally would.”

“As expected,” said Willem-san. “If nothing else, Mukouda-san is someone who values his peace after all. You know what those idiots suggested next?”

“What?”

“That idiot noble actually said something like ‘We just have to make sure they can’t escape’.”

“Ah…”

“Yes, indeed. I am ashamed to be a fellow countryman. Tsk, how and with what army? [5] What could possibly take on a Fenrir as well as an Ancient Dragon and win I ask you?”

Willem-san shoved the last piece of Fish & Chips into his mouth, so I supplied another plate for him, along with another bottle of craft beer.

“Also, the Queen had sent down a decree to not pressure you into handing over any Leviathan materials. Any fool who tries would be considered a suicidal idiot and have nothing to do with the country [5]. I think they made pressuring you into anything you do not wish to do an act of treason,” Willem-san popped open his beer with just his thumb before chugging the contents down.

Woah, that’s such a cool move.

Also, making me uncomfortable is an act of treason? Um, wow, I feel kind of awkward, yet grateful at the same time.

Well, anyone with a working brain could tell that both Fer and Grandpa Gon are suuuper powerful and if they wanted to, they could flatten the entire country at their leisure.

“Then again, there are crazies who don’t care about the decree at all.”

“Hahhh… like Elland-san, you mean?”

“Well, him and those pharmacists, and a few merchants.”

“Ah…”

“Even now, they were flocking into the country in droves, their eyes bloodshot, practically camping around the Guild and in the field chanting ‘Sell it to us, sell it to us’, even though we don’t actually have a say on the sale of material…”

The Guild Master looked exhausted just talking about these people. I sympathetically popped open another bottle of beer for him.

“It’s not like we have even decided what we’d buy from you…”

“Hm? Can’t the guild just, you know, take everything?”

“Are you crazy?! The guild would go bankrupt!!”

“I mean, there are ready buyers already,” I said reasonably. “The guild don’t have to come up with a Capital to buy from me first. They can just sell on my behalf and take a commission, right?”

“I guess, Bram-sama did say he will try his best…”

Willem-san is muttering under his breath again.

Personally, I’m not at all worried about the materials. If there are too many valuable things leftover, I’ll give them away as a tribute to some royalty. Of course, the King and Queen of this country take precedence and Count Langridge too.

Anything that can’t be sold could be given to Sui to make elixirs.

[Gumihou: Mukouda is the calm one for once, lol]

[1] Jokes about Mukouda being squeaked out internal organs seemed out of place. Have him be ‘ugh’ about Elland’s weird behaviour instead

[2] The original argument was something about being ‘dark’ and ‘unsafe’ but, sir? Ancient Dragon? Fenrir? Hello?

[3] Plot hole addressed – Fer was whining about not being able to eat the Leviathan immediately, but can’t they have just whack out a leg or something? Anyway, address this issue.

[4] They waffled about ‘oh no very little dragon meat’ with a final punch of ‘aha! Ice Dragon meat!’ but really, the waffling lessened the impact by a lot so rearranged the information reveal moment. Gumi had also drastically reduced the ‘meat testing process’ like, we don’t need a blow by blow account darling.

[5] Deleted more waffling about 180 words

[6] Give a more reasonable reason for why Fish & Chips