Tondemo Skill - 536 - A Blunder! (Patreon)

[1]

“Raise your head.”

The king’s voice was low yet magnetic voice resonated well within the audience hall.

I raised my head a little, just enough to catch a glimpse of the king. The king… looked very much like what I’d imagine a good Western king would look like. A blonde man with a neat blonde beard, probably in his 40s and very solidly built. He had an air of command about him that would suit an army general.

Next to him was the queen. She was an amazing blond beauty in her 20s, with a rather Nordic look about her. In short, the king and queen looked like stereotypical Western, lordly aristocrats.

Words were being exchanged between the King and Willem-san, but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to follow their dialogue, it was all basic greetings of some sort in fancy terminologies anyway… Instead, I was busy sneaking looks at the bunch of very well-dressed and stuffy-looking people lining up on both sides of the red carpet. Nobles, presumably, I could feel their eyes stabbing into my back.

[2] Wait, are my familiars behaving themselves? Is Fer yawning? Dora-chan has the tendency to pick his nose when he’s bored, and Grandpa Gon… please don’t stare too hard at any of these people. Ahh, just think of Sui-tan~~! Sui-tan~~!!

I had already bribed them with the promise of Dragon Steak Rice Bowl earlier, so I hope my Gluttonous Quartet are behaving themselves!

Please behave yourself!!

The Gluttonous Quartet.

Just as Mukouda feared, the familiars were lounging about on the soft carpet without a care in the world. Fer was yawning, Dora-chan was picking his nose and flicking boogers on the carpet, Grandpa Gon was picking on his nails and Sui…

“”Uncle Fer~~ this is boring~~ boring~~””

“”Ugh, I wish I could at least fly around this place,”” grumbled Dora-chan.

“”Umu, be patient. It had been some time since our last dragon meal. Let us wait a little longer.””

“”Tch, if it takes too long, I’m going to say something,””

“”Why are we here~~?””

“”Because Master wants us to come, mu, if not for that guy, I would never be here.””

It was too quiet!

[3] I nearly gave into the temptation to look behind me when the door opened again and a slender, slightly nervous-looking person in his 50s at the foot of the steps leading up to the throne raised his voice, “Presenting the royal tribute from Adventure Mukouda!”

I guess he must be the steward or the prime minister? If this was a Chinese Imperial setting, he’d probably be the chief eunuch…

[4]

Then, my nonsensical thoughts were interrupted by the line of servants entering the room bearing the ‘royal tribute’ on red cushions. It was… a parade of gifts. I had not realised just how many things I have stuffed into that chest. From the looks on the nobles lining the walls… did I do a good job? Their faces looked a little constipated, was the tribute too inadequate?

A list was ceremoniously presented to the minister? steward? by the first person in the line. After adjusting his glasses a few times, the man cleared his throat.

I’m starting to regret coming here.

Then, it began.

“First, a pearl-encrusted tiara.”

A servant bearing a red cushion went up the steps to ceremoniously present the pearl-studded thing before the royal couple. The Queen’s eyes shone brilliantly at the gift, so… a hit?

“Next, a sapphire studded dagger.”

I thought that people would turn up their noses at this useless dagger. I did consider giving something a little more functional, but the only other interesting dagger I had was the Vampire Dagger, which I don’t want to part with because I needed it for my dismantling job. Still, if the intake of breath in the room was any indication, I guess they like this gaudy knife?

“A ring…”

“A bracelet…”

“A golden goblet…”

It was getting rather boring. I already know what's on the list, so I started to let my gaze wonder…

“Hm? Are you alright, Willem-san?”

The Carelina Guild Master was trembling. Was he cold or something?

“You… I asked if the royal tribute is fine…” he hissed.

“Um, is it not enough? I’m sorry,” I whispered back.

“Not eno--! It’s too much, too much! If you have so many things lying around next time just donate some to me!!”

Eeehh? Wait, what?

Um.

I took another look around the room.

What I had thought was a quiet room filled with bored people staring at a boring ceremony with glazed-over eyes was actually… a room of people stunned to silence. Some had their mouths hanging open…

Even the King was staring with really wide eyes.

And the prime minister/steward guy was… trembling. From shock, probably.

At least the Queen looked really pleased. She was beaming brightly at the parade of jewellery and precious stuff.

[4]

Wh-what should I do now?

A-a blunder!

This is a great blunder!!!

In the middle of reading the list, a voice suddenly interrupted, “King of Men, is it not over yet? I came on Master’s request, but we have already been here long enough.”

[5]

I, along with the rest of the room, jumped at Grandpa Gon’s sudden interruption. Before I could say anything, Fer said, “Umu, indeed, we are very busy you know. We have things to do that do not involve sitting here and doing nothing while you people blabber on and on.”

“Ferrrr!!!” I hissed.

Dora-chan suddenly shot into the air, did a loop and grumbled, “”Sooo bored, can we get out now? Huh? Huh? Huh?””

“”Go now~? Go now~?””

Even Sui began to bounce up and down.

“You---!! All of you--!! Can’t you behave for a moment?!” I turned around and bowed 90 degrees at the royal couple, “Apologies, my familiars are too impatient…”

The aristocrats lining the walls suddenly seemed to come alive. Fans were snapped open and snorts were heard and soon, the room was filled with remarks like:

“How insolent…”

“What a fool…”

“These beastly creatures…”

“Beastly creatures with beastly manners…”

“How dare they speak to His Majesty thus…”

And finally…

“…death penalty…”

Eh?

I twisted my hands together. Death penalty? Seriously? For speaking out of turn? For who? Me? There was that automatic, almost reflexive fear, but underlying that was… really, what could they do to me? Seriously?

“Um… death penalty?” I said almost curiously to Willem-san, who was sweating beside me.

“Ahh…”

“Silence, humans!” Fer’s voice thundered. “How dare you compare a Legendary Creature like me to a mere beast!”

Lighting snapped in the sky.

It was very ominous.

From the smell in the air, I think more than a few of these so-called noble aristocrats just suffered severe incontinence. The rest had collapsed to the floor, shaking and sweating.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

“King of Men, my patience has run its course, we shall be leaving with our Master now, do not stop us.”

“Umu, this place is too boring.”

“A hah, ha ha ha…” I cannot believe this is happening. Just what is happening now? Where am I? Who am I?

Suddenly, the steward/prime minister person shouted, “Y-your Majesty! Such insolence is-”

“Silence! Do you wish to destroy this country!” the King bellowed.

He looked very regal as he stood up, but I could see that his clenched fists were trembling.

“Phun, no need to worry. Master seems to like this country, so long as no harm comes to our Master, there is no reason for me to destroy this place.”

“Indeed, it all comes down to our Master.”

“Umu, that is correct. Master is a sensitive person, if you caused him to stress out, we have no choice but to destroy this place.”

“… …” Oi, I haven’t said anything yet, but you’re totally using me as an excuse to press your case, aren’t you!?

I think the King attempted to smile, but I could see the corner of his lips twitching as he said, “Of course, no harm shall come to Mukouda-dono. He is an esteemed guest to the palace and free to leave as he pleased.”

The Queen also rose from her seat, wow, she’s really tall…

“Fenrir-sama, Ancient Dragon-sama, we understand that Mukouda-dono does not like to be troubled by… petty issues. Therefore, please feel free to enjoy the hospitality of our country as long as you wish. We are most grateful to have you as our honoured guests.”

“Oi, this-” someone shouted from the side. I couldn’t see who it was, but it had to be one of those muttering nobles.

“Enough! Do you imagine that we could do anything against Fenrir-sama or Ancient Dragon-sama?” the King snapped. “If you dislike your life so much, go ahead and commit suicide elsewhere and do not drag the rest of us down!”

“Humph, looks like we have a sensible King of Men here,”

“Umu, indeed. In return, you may convey a wish through my Master. I promise to listen to your request at least.”

“Thank you very much. It is our honour to have such illustrious guests. Mukouda-dono, I thank you once again for the wonderful gifts.”

“Ah, sure?”

“Mu, time to go,” Fer grabbed me by the back of my shirt and threw me to his back. I reflexively grabbed his fur.

“Oi!”

“Dora, Sui, we’re leaving!”

“”Yes!!””

“”Yay~~!!””

And that was how we left the imperial audience chamber…

[Gumihou: Hmm, made a lot of changes…]

[1] Deleted the first four paragraphs because… it already happened in the previous chapter. Just start where it left off.

[2] Adjust the ‘running thoughts’ to give the impression of panicked anxiety

[3] Plot consistency: The door opened again in the earlier chapter, so, aligned the movements with this chapter.

[4] Reduce the random thoughts and give more descriptions to the parade of gifts.

[5] Reduce Mukouda’s aaaAAAaaaAAAaaAAAHHH!! reaction to something more reasonable and less overdone.