Sell you a Bridge chapter 246 (Patreon)

June 3rd 2016 Blaiston Street, The Nightside 11:00 AM EDT

We  got out of the carriage on a random street full of unremarkable  buildings. I was a bit confused as to what we were doing here, since  none of these places looked like a library. As the others climbed out I  turned to ask Taylor. "Where are we? Is the library nearby?" I was  anxious to find my cousin. Now that I knew she was in danger I was  worried we might show up too late. Despite having forced myself to calm  down I was still well aware of the stakes. Every second we weren't  looking was a second something terrible could be happening to Kit.

Taylor  seemed mostly sympathetic to that, but he also obviously wasn't going  to let me push. "Listen kid, I respect your hurry, but it won't do your  cousin any good if we all die before we reach her. In the spirit of  that, I'm taking precautions. These people are on the hunt for your  cousin, so chances are they'll be watching her last known location. I  don't know exactly how they got out without being seen, but chances are  good they did it to avoid the exact people who will notice us if we  follow them. Easiest way to avoid that is to make sure we aren't spotted  entering. And for that we need a back way."

Wally cleared  his throat. "That's great and all, but how exactly are we supposed to  find a back way here? Is there some kind of tunnel or something nearby?  Also how did you get the carriage to drop us here without saying  anything to the driver?" He was looking around uneasily, and I saw his  eyes looked shadowed and a bit unfocused. I was pretty sure Wally hadn't  slept as well as I had last night, and from Artemis's grip on his arm,  she was just as worried about the redhead as I was starting to get.

The  big detective shook his head. "Not a tunnel per se. We're here to see  an old acquaintance of mine. The Doormouse. He has doors to basically  everywhere you could ever want to go in his shop. He makes them himself.  Any place on earth and several that are very much outside it. He  usually charges for their use but he owes me a favor. He should be  willing to help us enter and exit the library without passing by any  watchers. There's no way they have Sinner himself under surveillance. He  would know, and he doesn't care for being monitored."

Wally,  who had been looking anxious and unhappy, was momentarily distracted.  The idea of a place full of doors that could go anywhere was a pretty  interesting one to me as well. I wasn't sure what kind of person the  Doormouse was, but I was interested to see what doors like that were  actually like. I wondered if I could survive using my clairvoyance on  them, but considering how badly I'd been burned the last time, and how I  didn't even plan to use my aura sight here, I judged it was probably a  bad idea.

As we turned to head down the street though, we  pulled up short as we saw...something. Or rather two somethings. Big  green furry somethings, towering over a thin, pale man with dark hair  dressed in purple clothes I didn't really have a description for. They  towered over him, snarling with rage and hate, but the man just smiled  up at them. His hands were in his pockets, but he pulled them out and  spread them wide in a friendly gesture. "Gentlemen, please, there's no  reason to get so upset. We're all civilized men and things. Come, let us  reason together."

Taylor snorted and gestured for us to  stop. I gave him a confused look but he just shook his head. "No need to  step in. Tommy doesn't need our help. Those poor bastards won't know  which way is up by the time he's done with them." I raised an eyebrow in  silent inquiry and Taylor grinned. "Oh introductions can wait. Just  watch. It's not every day you get to see the existential detective do  his work."

The man, Tommy, stepped forward, and the big  green things looked like they almost wanted to back away from his wide,  friendly smile. "You fine fiends have come here to settle my debts to  the Collector I take it? Well I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You  see, I'd already made plans to repay those debts. Specifically I plan to  pay them next month. I could surrender myself to your custody of  course, and perhaps the Collector would extract the necessary payments  post haste, but paying today would rob my future self of an opportunity  to make good on his ambitions. And wouldn't that be a shame?"

As  he spoke I felt...something. Something in the air, something that felt a  lot like I felt when I used my power. Tommy was getting into the swing  of things now, and he stepped up to put a hand on the arm of either  furry green beast. "Haven't the two of you had dreams? Ambitions? Goals?  Have you ever achieved them? Now imagine how the you who achieved your  goals would feel if a you who had yet to accomplish said desires robbed  him of the ability to fulfill that dream. In fact, I daresay by robbing  my future self of the opportunity to repay my debts as planned you would  be robbing your own future selves of the ability to enjoy the relaxing  experience of letting ones job fulfill itself."

The power  got thicker, and the green things went from angry to confused as Tommy  kept talking. "But you see, if you let me go on my way, you'll be  rewarding your future selves with the foresight to allow them to  accomplish the dream the two of you now have, that is, the dream to have  done nothing at all in the past, thereby allowing the nothing you do in  the future to achieve twice the effect for, as we've already decided,  none of the effort. That means that the current you acting is in fact  impeding the accomplishments of not only myself and the version of me  planning to repay my debts, but your own selves in both this and that  future timeline, something we already established that you would be  loathe to do."

Even I was having a bit of trouble  following his logic at this point, and the two green things both looked  so confused I was worried they might pass out. Their eyes had glazed  over and they looked like they might be drooling. We spent the next ten  minutes watching Tommy continue speaking, twisting the things he'd  already said back around themselves in ways that made little to no sense  and basically beating the truth into an unrecognizable mess that no one  standing with us could even recognize.

By the time he was  done talking, both green things had apologized (they could talk  apparently) and paid him all the money they had on him, as well as  promising to figure out how to cover his debt to the Collector (whoever  that was) and apologizing for the inconvenience of stopping him on the  street. As he walked away cheerfully, one of the massive beasties had  even taken off what looking like a green fur vest and used it to cover  up a puddle Tommy needed to cross so he didn't get his shoes dirty.

He  was heading right for us, in fact, and when he drew close he grinned  cheerfully at Taylor. "Ah, John, good to see you old boy. You're looking  dapper as ever. Such interesting company, might you introduce me to  your friends?" Despite no longer engaging with the big guys I could  still feel that power radiating off him, and still feel how unusually  similar it was to my own. I wondered if he could feel the same thing. I  came very close to using my aura sight on him, but in the end I decided  to stick with my instinctual response that it was a bad idea.

Taylor  snorted in amusement. "As polite as ever Tommy. Well boys and girls,  I'd like to introduce you to Tommy Oblivion, the Existential Detective.  One of the famous Oblivion brothers, Tommy specializes in cases that may  or may not have existed. He has a knack for being convincing, even when  he really shouldn't be. He can talk reality itself into changing its  mind." Tommy doffed an imaginary hat, sweeping into a courtly bow before  giving us all a wide friendly grin. Taylor nodded to us. "Tommy, this  is Morgan, Zatanna, Dreamer, Wally, and Artemis. The spook is the  Gentleman Ghost, an old friend of Julians."

His energy was  infectious, like a big happy puppy. "Hello all. Nice to meet you. Any  friends of John or Julian are friends of mine. Hello again JJ, good to  see you back again. Don't let the big softie fool you, he's been sulking  terribly since you left. He's got a heart in there under all that  cynicism and wisecracking. I take it the lot of you are on the way to  see the Doormouse as well? I've decided to take a slight vacation. My  gift is perfectly suited to talking down a few debt collectors, but the  The Collector himself has some countermeasures in place. I find it  prudent to remove myself from the immediate vicinity for a time. At  least until flaring tempers cool."

Wally  raised a hand tentatively to get everyone's attention. "Quick question.  What exactly was this debt you defaulted on? Because it sounds kind of  shady to be avoiding paying someone back like that. I'm not totally sure  I'm comfortable bringing you along to escape someone you owe money to."  His expression was stubborn, and I could tell that this was important  to him. I was pretty sure seeing all the terrible things in the  Nightside had been taking its toll on the redhead. Taking a stand on  something he could control was his way of reminding himself he was still  the same person.

Tommy  smiled harmlessly and put up both hands. "Oh no, nothing like that. The  Collector hired me to obtain a one of a kind ossuary box from a  monastery that didn't get founded in the eighteen twenty nine because of  a cholera outbreak. Unfortunately when I was ensuring the founding of  the monastery I accidentally prevented the abbot that was supposed to  donate the bone from joining the clergy. The Collector insists that the  use of his timeslip was extenuating circumstances and that I owe him for  the trip. We agreed on a travel stipend and he's completely ignoring  that stipulation."

Wally  looked, while less uncomfortable, slightly more confused, and I was  pretty sure dealing with Tommy was making his head hurt. It wasn't just  the confusing manner of speech though. Tommy's mannerisms were oddly  contradictory and elusive. It seemed to change consistently, making our  perception of him slightly different without actually changing anything  about him. Just out curiosity I reached out with my own abilities and  tried to tweak the impression slightly. Where Tommy constant told the  world that it wasn't what it thought it was, I told the world it was  what I though it was.

My  ability dealt more with the certainty of dishonesty than the dishonesty  of certainty, and my attempt to stabilize the unusual atmosphere around  the detective seemed to clash slightly with it's nature. Still, when I  used the ability Tommy's eyes snapped to me in interest. "Well now. What  exactly are you? I've never felt anything quite like that before." He  grinned and threw an arm over my shoulder. "Wait, no. Don't tell me. You  can go over the whole story while we head for the Doormouse's shop."

He  turned to grin at Taylor. "Congratulations John, You've succeeded in  peaking my interest. I shall be joining you on your current adventure.  Huzzah! Together again!" He thrust one hand up into the air, pointing a  finger dramatically toward the sky. If nothing else though, it was  entertaining to see Taylor's reaction. It was nice to know that someone  annoyed as much as he had been annoying us.