Sell you a Bridge chapter 172 (Patreon)

February 13th 2011 The OZ 10:00 PM EDT

I  wasn't sure exactly what Azkedelia had inside her, but it was fucking  powerful. Within the first thirty seconds of combat I'd hurled a dozen  bolts of ectoplasm and opened just as many Holes to intercept return  fire (thank god for my high dexterity) and she managed to deflect or  intercept all of them. Her teeth were bared in a manic rictus halfway  between a snarl and a smile as she flicked her fingers and another two  of her appeared.

I grinned back  at her? "That's it?" I manifested two clones of my own without blinking.  Granted they could only manage a single blow taken of given but they  should be able to dodge pretty easily and keep her own duplicates busy.  Despite that the room was getting a bit tight for this fight, so I blew a  hole in the wall and zipped outside at top speed to open up some room. I  wasn't sure if Azkedelia could fly, but honestly it seemed like a solid  bet.

Sure  enough Azkedelia mad a series of gestures and a pair of batlike wings  tore themselves out of her back. She took to the air, following me  through the hole in the wall and out into the frigid air. Even with the  wind whipping at our clothes I felt no chill, the cold of the grave  keeping me comfortable even in the sub zero temperatures. She let out a  booming cackle. "Oh an evening under the stars! How romantic! You take  me to the nicest places darling." She shot me a coy look, batting her  eyelashes. "Is this where we go all the way?"

I  hurled a blacked ball of ectoplasm mixed with void at her, forcing her  to dodge with a pout. My own voice was tense as I spat. "Newsflash!  You're not cute when I'm angry." I hurled another five or six void  bolts, which she dodged, and then returned fire. I growled in  frustration. "You know, you're really starting to piss me off. What even  are you? Why are you so damn powerful?" My hand slipped to my gun, but  part of me hesitated. Something was...wrong, with Azkedelia. Something  beyond being a lunatic.

The power  she was using was sickening, corrupting, as I got a better look at her I  could see whatever was radiating that energy shifting around under her  skin. Something was wearing her like a suit, something that had been  inside her for a long time. It had made itself so at home in her spirit I  hadn't been able to see the seams in her aura until I made her flex a  bit. It made this tricky. If that power had been in there since she was a  little girl like the vision showed, I didn't feel right about just  executing her. Psycho or not she was one of DG's only living relatives,  if this wasn't her fault using my fucking epic death gun on her was  overkill.

She  giggled. "I'm the Queen of course! The Queen and her land are one. The  OZ's power is my power." She held her hands up placatingly. "Listen, I  think we got off to a rocky start. I admit, I was a bit sore over the  what happened to my longcoats, but this doesn't have to be a fight." Her  voice took on a sickeningly sweet tone. "I admit I've made mistakes,  especially as a child. I was young and stupid and I became obsessed with  that prophecy, obsessed with the though of 'only one and one alone'."

Her  eyes watered as she put a truly oscar worthy quaver in her voice,  averting her gaze in shame. "I...I almost did something unspeakable, did  do something unspeakable. But I've had years to live with that shame  and pain. I miss my family, miss my baby sister, and I've decided that I  want to do this together. Mother is safe, but she never forgave me for  what happened to DG. I want us to find the Emerald and rule together, to  earn her forgiveness so we can be a family."

She  fluttered her lashes at me. "I know you care about my sister. You  mentioned a second girlfriend other than the pretty sorceress with the  thick rump, is that DG? Have you taken a fancy to my sister? Or are you  playing it slow. Waiting to sweep her off her feet to make her yours. We  could take her together you know? Imagine those big trusting blue eyes  staring up at you, those pouty lips around your cock. If you think I  need to be punished I'll take anything you've got. I know I made that  mommy comment but if you want we can both call you daddy."

I  blinked at her. "Are...are you slow?" She reeled back, anger and shock  on her face. "No, serious question. You just changed angles like four  times during that little speech. I've seen more subtle attempts to bash a  door in. I don't know where you learned to coerce people but whoever  taught you sucks at it. You thought what? Just throw random temptations  at me wholesale to see what stuck? Manipulation doesn't work if it's  obvious."

She  snarled at me, he mood shifting rapidly yet again. I was pretty sure  her mercurial nature was actually working against her here too. Hard to  stick to a single tactic when your mood changes explosively every ten  seconds. Her eyes narrowed as she hissed at me. "I have no need of petty  games boy, I attempted reason only because of your power and usefulness  but I see much like all the others I should have simply crushed you  under my heel."

I  nodded. "Ah, too much power to bother with subtlety. That one makes  sense. Anyway, in case you missed the answer, no. I'm not going to join  you. I have two girlfriends, neither of whom are your sister, and  honestly sexually keeping up with them is already a full time job since  one of them is a sex elf and the other one is a literal goddess. DG is a  friend, you're an annoyance, and I wouldn't stick my dick in the  psychopath whose minions tortured Cain by killing his family in front of  him on repeat for over a decade even if I was single."

She  rolled her eyes. "Ugh, everyone is so whiny about those iron suits. He  was the first you know? The one we made an example of. Though killing  his family WOULD have been a good idea. We just tortured them for a  while before they escaped. Zero lost a few toes for that actually. The  idiot always was obsessed with your friend in the hat. Too stupid to see  the bigger picture. Just like you. Very well, I suppose I'll have to  show you my true power." With that, she raised her hands dramatically in  the air.

I  threw a few bolts of power but she summoned a swarm of monkeys to hold  them off. I cursed and then got ready to take this hit. I opened a  massive void in front of me, ready to take it and throw it all back.  Azkedelia raised her hands dramatically and began to rotate green flame  between them in a small vortex, as the vortex began to spin she pulled  her hands slowly apart, making the flames bigger and bigger creating a  huge vortex of emerald flame. Azkedelia grinned mockingly at me. "You  pathetic shield won't save you this time boy. Feel my wrath!"

She  hurled her hands forward and the vortex exploded into a massive cloud  of green eldritch fire. I braced myself for the impact, for the energy  absorbtion as I ducked behind my shield. Nothing happened. I blinked,  leaning sideways to see...nothing. Empty air in front of me. I was  confused for a second. I had no idea what had just happened, one second  she was winding up a big punch and then...

My  eyes widened and I screamed in frustration. "Are you fucking KIDDING  ME? It was a teleport spell?" If I'd been on the ground I'd probably  have stomped my foot. I groaned, covering my face. I couldn't believe I  fucking fell for that. A huge fake spell wind up to cover a teleport. It  was so...stupid. I hadn't even considered it as an option. Which was  why it worked. Crazy bitch out dumbed me. I was annoyed, but at least  she was gone. I could go check on the others now. I headed back into the  palace, tracking them through the bottom floor and around to the front.

I  walked back out through the entrance we came through, back through the  shattered ice, until I got to the spot where they ended up. When I  finally got there I found them all huddled together, the cornerpups  circling like protective sharks. When they saw me everyone lit up.  Dreamer bolted out to me hurling herself into my arms and I chuckled as I  pulled her close. "Whoa, hey, enthusiasm appreciated, but I'm fine. No  need to worry about me." Dreamers aura was streaked with pride and  happiness as she looked me over.

She  leaned up to kiss me. "You were a true hero today, as much as I know  you resent the label. What you did was very brave. Thank you for  trusting us enough to let us do things on our own." Her smile dimmed.  "That said...we may need you to expend slightly more of that trust to  us." That sounded...ominous. I looked around at the others and they  looked worried. Too worried. I finally found Zee and saw that she was  avoiding meeting my gaze, I did not however, see one very specific  person.

A  person who I had sent away under the protection of Zee and the  cornerpups, and who was literally the entire purpose behind this entire  farce. Zee swallowed. "Ok. Now don't be mad. DG had a plan. She heard  what Azkedelia said to you, about her mom and about Cain's family." I  must have looked confused because she rolled her eyes and pointed up.  "You were screaming at each other right above us. It wasn't exactly  subtle."

I  began to have a very bad feeling about this. "Ok, so DG came up with a  plan. What kind of plan? Did she decide to follow Azkedelia? Are we  supposed to catch up to her later?" I was almost positive that wasn't  her plan. However I was also mostly positive I didn't know what her plan  WAS because the plan I suspected she came up with was too stupid to be  believed. DG was a giant sunshine cannon to the face but she wasn't a  moron. She wouldn't do anything really crazy.

A  vain hope that was dashed as Zee averted her eyes. "Well. She said that  she knew that Azkedelia wasn't going to hurt her before she got the  emerald and that we had to find out where Cain's family and her mom  were. So she decided it would be a good idea to get grabbed by flying  monkeys." She held up her hands when she saw my face turn red. "We  didn't know! She slipped by us an turned and ran right into their arms.  We didn't even notice it happen because she did it behind our backs and  didn't scream. We only saw her in the distance when we turned around to  check on her."

I  pinched the bridge of my nose. "So you're telling me that the wayward  princess of this kingdom, who happens to be the only person with  knowledge of where to find an ancient powerful mystical item coveted by a  woman who just fought me to...almost a standstill, purposefully got  herself grabbed by evil flying monkeys? A plan she came up with on her  own and executed behind your backs and none of you noticed?" For the  second time that day, as I looked at their wincing expressions, I just  wanted to scream. Today was not my day.