Stronger Together chapter 145 (Patreon)

Getting in touch with Sigrun and setting up a meeting with Odin was  easier than expected. With the way our rep had increased over the last  year from our constant activity with Harry and the various big bads we  had stomped there was an actual legit reason for us to get face time  with him. He was still shielding us from some of the fallout of our  temporal shenanigans so we hadn't really met up since that initial run  in.

Still now we could talk in person without arousing  suspicion and after finishing that set up I was ready to do...nothing.  At all. I was exhausted. Even the twins couldn't attack us at home  should they manage to track us down which given our shadowy escape they  probably wouldn't. With no meetings or investigation to do until  tomorrow I just wanted to relax and unwind. I had my soak in the medical  tub to get done but I would do that later. For now I just collapsed  into bed with a groan. I had a serious problem with finding down time.

Raven  slumped down into bed with me, exhausted from her magic workout tonight  and groaned, curling against me. "Gods I'm so exhausted. I feel like we  haven't had a second of downtime in weeks. Even sex is starting to feel  like work." I raised and eyebrow at that and she laughed "Not that I  don't love our time together, it just seems like every second we have  has been scheduled. When we do manage to fit sex into the schedule it  feels like a chore. I miss being able to just enjoy each others  company." She nuzzled against me and i inhaled the scent of the new  blueberry shampoo I'd just bought her.

I couldn't argue  her point. "You aren't wrong. I'm sorry love, between the magic  training, work, klurkor practice, helping with the baby, dinners at  Charity's, visiting Tera and Connor, the company, and now this thing  with Kirby I feel like I'm underwater. Everything is so damn important  so I can't just ditch some things to make room but it's starting to get  to me. I mean hell, I'm only human." The giggling that erupted from my  normally taciturn girlfriend did not help my mood. I glared at the  purple haired goth curled against me "Wow thanks for the support."

She  got her giggles under control "No babe it's not that. It's just that  you spent such a large part of last year worried about not being human  enough. With the soulfire and klurkor and the godsteel and even your  arm. Now your problem is that you're human after all. It's very be  careful what you wish for.' She leaned up and kissed me "In the end  human on other doesn't matter. You don't care that I'm only half human  why should it matter to you what you are? We love each other and we're  all here for you, that's what matters."

I felt my brow  furrow "When I was worrying about this last year, was that what you were  feeling? That me being upset about being less human somehow meant I  love you less? Because I can assure you that's not the case at all." I  pulled her tight against me. "No matter what's going on with me or what  changes in my head that doesn't effect how I feel about you, Rae. You or  Barb, or I guess Cinder now." I laughed "I might be biting off more  than I can chew. Three girls? That's just insane."

I  slumped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and enjoying her  warmth against me. "But I love you guys. All three of you. Cinder was  already basically part of our relationship she was just being held at  arms length as a formality and that seemed wrong. I know you guys  already said it was fine I just feel...torn. Like if I don't return her  feelings I'm disrespecting her but if I do I'm disrespecting you two." I  exhaled loudly. "If you ever felt like I was letting you down you'd  tell me right? Like if I wasn't paying enough attention to you or taking  you for granted."

She rolled over on top of me and slowly  lowered herself down, kissing me and molding the entire length of her  body against mine. Her eyes bored into mine as she stared into them "You  are the one person in my life that makes me feel like I'm good enough.  The only person who has ever made me feel really loved and cared for.  You would no more be capable of taking me for granted than you would be  of deciding you wanted to breathe water. I know you get busy, I know you  have problems managing your time. But you make me feel loved twenty  four seven not just when you're with me."

She nestled her  head in the crook of my shoulder, still lying on top of me. "As for  Cinder neither of us feel like we get less of your heart because she's  in it too. She cares about you a great deal and has changed immensely in  her time with us and with River. She deserves to feel loved just like  we do, and we know you're capable of giving that to her, but more  importantly WE are capable of giving that to her. Your problem my love,  is you forget not everything is about you. Our relationship with Cinder  is part of this too."

I blinked "That...wow I can't  believe I missed that. I've been so wrapped up in how I feel about how  you feel about Cinder I wasn't paying any actual attention to how you  felt about Cinder." I shot her a guilty look "I'm kind of a pompous ass  aren't I?" I'd been thinking of their feelings about their relationship  with me and their relationship with Cinder but not their relationship  with each other. Both girls were close to Cinder and really cared about  her. It was pretty condescending to think they agreed to this just  because they knew I wanted it.

Raven chuckled against me,  her laugh vibrating my chest. "Sometimes. But it's sweet that you care  so much. But that isn't the real issue. You take too much on yourself.  You think of everyone as your responsibility and feel like you have to  fix everything, and the more you grow in power the more sure of that you  become. But the rest of us are growing too, we get stronger every day  as well and we love you just like you love us. You know we're powerful  but you love us too much to see us hurt, but you don't acknowledge that  we feel the same way." Her tone was gentle, but it was firm, she was  leading me somewhere with this.

I  knew where, even if I didn't want to admit it. "It's selfish. I  prioritize your safety over the good you could do for others and you  want me to realize that. But even if I know that I couldn't do anything  else. Protecting you is the most important thing in the world to me. All  of you. You're my family here, not just you and Barb and Cinder but  Yang and  Kara and Inari and Morgan and Sam and Harry and god knows how  many others. I love you Rae, but you can't ask me to just sit back and  let you risk your lives for strangers without trying to keep you safe."

She  laughed at that, a fond sound that made me feel like an idiot "I'm not  aski9ng that Cam, I know you never could and I love you for that. I'm  not asking you to step back and let us protect you any more than I'd  step back and let you protect me. I'm saying you need to realize you  aren't alone. You know it intellectually but emotionally you treat us  like treasures you need to keep safe. Part of being with us is  recognizing that we shouldn't be behind or in front of you, we should be  beside you."

I...had  no response to that. She smiled "Oh good. He shuts up and listens. I  guess you can be taught. You're the most important person in the world  to me, but at some point between the foreknowledge and Odin showing you  you could actually help us, and your growing power you forgot that we're  a team. You've been running yourself ragged because you don't want to  push the work onto us, because doing it makes you feel important and  useful. But if you don't slow down and let us help some you're going to  crack and we'll just end up doing everything behind your back."

She  was right of course. I'd felt so helpless when I got here that I'd  overcompensated once I got some power. I'd put so much effort into  becoming stronger to protect my girls I wasn't paying attention to their  growth as much or giving them what they needed. I sighed "Well what  should I do?  Somehow I think a household chore list isn't going to  solve the problem here. Saying I need to learn to let go and accept help  is a lot easier than doing it. I can't think of any of the things I do  that I can just bail on, hell most of them I don't want to bail on."

The  pensive noise that vibrated my chest told me she was giving it some  real thought. "Well first off the business. Let Kara handle that. She  might need some hand holding to start with but she has a super  calculating alien mega brain. She'll pick it up quick. Secondly the  cases. Have Barb work them most of the time. If you're worried about her  safety send Cinder with her. In the short term once we get our answer  from Odin about the help we're getting it means calling a family meeting  of sorts and making sure we're all prepared for whats coming."

As  she listed the manageable steps off I felt something in my chest  unclench. She was right. That would help. Ever since I'd got here I'd  been on my grind. Get more power, get more safety, get more money. I'd  spent so much time charging ahead I hadn't noticed I was running my feet  ragged down to the bone. I was exhausted, and I must have been closer  to breaking than I thought for Raven to actually confront me about it  like this. She wasn't shy about pointing out mistakes when I made them  but challenging my entire direction in life was more assertive than she  usually liked to be in our relationship.

I  smiled down at her and kissed her head. "Thank you." She raised a  questioning brow. "This couldn't have been easy for you. I know that you  aren't always comfortable challenging Barb and I. You prefer a gentler  style of guidance. It must have been an uncomfortable thing for you to  just come out and tell me what I was doing wrong, but you did it because  you were worried about me." I leaned down to give her a soft kiss. "I  love you, and I'm lucky to have you taking care of me, even when I don't  always take care of myself. Thank you, for being amazing."

She  kissed me back slowly and happily and then we just laid there, staring  at the ceiling and not needing to speak. I found one of the best parts  of being in love was a lack of a need to fill the air with noise. When  you really loved someone you could just be together and it felt right.  Even silence sounded sweet when it was filled with the breath of a  person you cared about. I let that same even breathing lull me to sleep.  As I drifted off I thought about how much more relaxed I felt after  just one conversation. The perks of dating an empath I suppose.