Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Easy Rider (Patreon)

It’s anyone’s guess how Elf Princess perceives Horsepower at any given moment. Clearly she’s fallen down the rabbit hole of a failed dual identity Perception check. And for the most part, that means she’s convinced her equine hunk is humanoid. Even so, there seem to be moments where her subconscious struggles to recognize that something odd is afoot. Throw in the complication of a cursed saddle, and suddenly all those crossed mental wires begin to kick like a bucking bronco.

What exactly is going on beneath that massive mane of auburn hair? "Run hard, Horsepower,” she thinks. “Fly like the wind." But with a humanoid? Perhaps she’s imagining an evening wear competition of her own. Maybe that’s just a “belt slot item” between the royal thighs? (Who said anything about a saddle?) And I’d be willing to bet there are zero shock absorbers on this phantasmagorical vigilante’s jogging route.

Whatever she’s imagining, I certainly hope that the royal grooms honor Her Highness’s wishes. They’ve been tasked with keeping the castle stables clear of personnel in the small hours of the morning (and sometimes right after lunch). It wouldn’t do to have anyone walk in on Elf Princess’s private riding lessons. Even if she’s been known to cry out (as if in distress) during the steeplechase.

RIDING SADDLE OF DAYMARE’S FANCY

Source Fizban’s Treasury of Hardons

Aura moderation enchantment; CL 7th;

Slot belt (saddle); Weight 15 lbs

DESCRIPTION

This masterpiece of leatherworking looks and functions as a horsemaster’s saddle until its owner attempts a Ride check. Once she does, the saddle begins to conjure images drawn from the rider’s most prurient fantasies, crafting increasingly elaborate daydreams in the process.

Each round after the curse sets in, the rider must attempt a DC 10 Will save. If she fails, she is overcome with pleasure and immediately drops from the saddle as if her mount had fallen in battle (i.e. taking 1d6 points of damage and falling prone). If she succeeds, however, then she must attempt another Ride check of her choice on the following round. Maneuvers like leap an obstacle, spur mount, and guide with knees are all appropriate choices. Succeeding on this Ride check increases the DC of the Will save by 1. On a failure, the Will save remains the same DC as the previous round.

Such is the power of the riding saddle of daymare’s fancy that it is impossible for a rider to willingly dismount. While a succession of successful Ride checks followed by a failed Will save may offer temporary relief from the curse, the saddle cannot be removed from a mount without the benefits of a remove curse spell or similar effect.