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Poor Wizard, she was up all night writing that thing!

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Michael Zemancik

Look, Wizard is just giving you the time needed to seduce one of the bridesmaids.

Nick

On the upside, by the time Wizard finishes reading her dramatic speech, what ever blood moon/planet alignment/witching hour required for the ritual will have passed. They have to stop and listen to the monologue, it's just proper etiquette.

Robbert Raets

I guess Paladin is there to object on behalf of She-Who-Likes-to-Have-Her-Hair-Pulled-a-Little...? (Who may have also consecrated the preexisting marriage between Wizard and Thief, I dunno.)

Randall Norman Pick

It's such a shame she had to cut it down so far, but perhaps the essential meaning is retained.

Anonymous

So at first glance, my initial reaction was "Aww, looks like somebody's special boy is finally getting married! I wonder who the lucky Bride could be-wait a minute..Why does she have a bag over her head? And have rope binding her arms-Hold on... I recognize those horns!" That's what a perception check with advantage probably looks like in RL. You roll low, then get a medium to high number on the second roll.....