Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Harem of the Freaky Efreeti, Part 5 (Patreon)

SCORING PROCEDURE

This year’s Miss Brass Swimsuit and Grand Melee Competition has two components. 

1. Competitors earn one point for every captured bikini top, and two points for every captured bikini bottom. A three-point penalty will be assigned for each article of a competitor’s original outfit missing at the end of the round.
   
2. As a Pageant Judge, you are responsible for the aesthetic portion of the scorecard. Note that the diversity of races represented demands a diverse set or criteria. The following guidelines have been included for your convenience.
   
   1. DAO: The ideal dao competitor is powerfully muscled, perfectly bald, and completely free of body hair. Her skin should be well-polished and her nails should be custom-cut and faceted. (Note that signs of rock tumbler usage are considered performance-enhancing and grounds for disqualification.) Hand-size is a particular mark of beauty among dao. You should be looking for wide or “pudgy” fingers; delicate hands get poor marks. A dao competitor’s suit should be suitably decorated, the tackier the better. The best dao bikinis are gold-plated, the gold is diamond-studded, and the diamonds are hollowed out to contain shavings of platinum or citrine. Watch for small blades hidden among secondary jewelry, including bracers, nose rings, and the ever-popular nipple bells. Dao will work hard for any advantage, up to and including slicing the clothing from the competition. Such tactical brilliance is deserving of 1-3 bonus points at the judge’s discretion.
      
   2. FIRE ELEMENTAL: It is not practical to judge our planar cousins in their natural, amorphous state. We have therefore asked our fire elemental competitors to assume a roughly humanoid shape. The effort expended to maintain these forms is indicative of good muscle tone. Remember: a more defined physique is a sign of a fit and healthy elemental. Her body temperature is another important benchmark. Please use your darkvision and the attached monochromatic swatches to gauge body heat. If you are unsure, the number of immolated competitors make a good secondary indicator. A fire elemental’s suit must balance style with inflammability. Iron and titanium are the most popular options. Deduct points for inferior alloys (you will be able to spot them when they melt), or for so-called “pig iron tops” that exaggerate the competitor’s figure.
      
   3. DROW: According to our research, drow are from the prime material plane and appear to be some subspecies of elf. Therefore, the perfect drow competitor should be thin bordering on emaciated. Androgynous beauty is apparently the racial ideal, with a delicate physique and cheekbones like David Bowie in drag. A drow’s hair is bone white, her skin tone ranges from ash to obsidian, and her eyes are red in color. Any competitors caught with purple or violet eyes will be asked to leave the premises. When it comes to judging bikini style, you must begin by counting the number of spiders. Is there a web motif? Are her straps styled to look like eight grasping legs? Are there any live spiders in her cleavage? Any fewer than four arachnid elements in the wardrobe is grounds for penalty. Conversely, bonus points should be awarded for the use of poison during the round, with special consideration for cleverly concealed vials.