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There’s a lot going on in today’s Handbook of Erotic Fantasy. And so, as a sort of informal study guide for our ongoing fantasy-gaming-sex-comedy, I present to you a number of very-important discussion questions. Ahem. 

  • Where is Wizard’s component pouch? 
  • Doesn’t Thief have Expertise in Athletics? How is Wizard holding her own in the grapple?
  • What kind of ninja assassin doesn’t stay to finish the job? Pick those throwing stars out of the wall and try again!
  • Where is Warlock? 
  • Has Fighter ever actually met Fem!Wizard in this timeline? Would he even recognize his old partymate?
  • Why is Horsepower never around when you need him? 
  • Cleric seems somewhat unconcerned by these tempestuous goings-on. Doesn’t he get tired of playing the third / fifth wheel? Also, why does he have a key to Thief and Wizard’s private chambers? 
  • Now that he’s regained his manhood, is Fighter doomed to join the ranks of The Independents?
  • Are Thief and Wizard breaking up!? :’(

I now invite your wild surmise, crackpot theories, and agonized wailing.

But more generally, I invite you to consider a simple truth. People’s lives are complicated, and they don’t always fit perfectly together. If you ever feel like Fighter, beset by the Geek Social Fallacies and feeling left out, just remember that group dynamics can be messy. When someone tells you that “the party is full,” it isn’t necessarily an indictment of your personality, gaming style, or worth as a human being. The timing might be wrong. The GM might have workload concerns. Your Roll20 application might have been discarded at random thanks to 100+ people signing up. Just keep your chin up, and know that the quest will always continue, even if it’s at another table. 

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Robbert Raets

I bet Figther is cursing himself for selling the variant Jug of Alchemy that can produce multiple gallons of jello after the Hawt Springs 'cured' him...