Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Temple of Elemental Libido - Rites of Ordination (Patreon)

The Altar of Growadawng was built to accommodate the Temple’s rites of ordination. A permanent magic mouth spell still functions after all these centuries, still asking all who enter the chamber, “Do you accept the blessing of Hoarndaug?” For the freaky-ass initiates of a bygone age, an affirmative answer represented a lifelong commitment to the cult. For unsuspecting latter day pilgrims, such an answer leads not to priesthood, but to transformations of an alarmingly personal nature. 

The magic of the altar remakes petitioners in the image of the god Hoardaug. To accept the blessing is become a fully functional hermaphrodite. Your new anatomy is as healthy as your previous body’s, allowing you to conceive, carry, and bear children (depending on your species’ biology). 

In addition, thanks to centuries of pent up libidinous energy, the altar’s transformational energy has become eccentric. Transformed creatures must also make a DC 16 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, roll on the following chart and apply the results. 

1. Sensation Overload: All of your naughty bits achieve immediate and simultaneous climax. Reset your titillation damage, halving your effective maximum hit points as normal. You gain the sticky condition.
2. Unnatural Lust: You are filled with lust and desire for the nearest creature. You must rush to the subject of your lust and passionately kiss or caress that subject on your next turn, taking no other actions. On subsequent turns, you may stammer an awkward apology as a bonus action.
3. Change Orientation: Mental changes accompany the physical. Your sexual orientation shifts to encompass a new gender, kink, species, etc. The DM decides the precise nature of the change. (Mmmm… firbolg.)
4. Well Endowed: Like...really well endowed. As in, you may need to purchase a wheelbarrow. Your carrying capacity is reduced to your Strength score multiplied by 12. 
5. Personal Lubricant: You learn the grease spell, and you can cast it once without expending a spell slot. You regain the ability to cast it in this way when you finish a refractory period. Charisma is your spellcasting ability for this spell. 
6. Gaydar: Your gain a certain instinct for what others want. A successful Wisdom (Insight) check contested by your target’s Charisma (Deception) check allows you to determine the target’s sexuality (straight, bisexual, homosexual, etc.). If you win the contest by 5 or more, you also determine the target’s main sexual kink or fetish. 
7. Pheromones: Once per day, you may emit a 10’ aura that affects your choice of male or female humanoids. All such creatures within the area are irresistibly attracted to you, giving you advantage on all Charisma checks directed at them. However, the effect lasts for 3d20 minutes, and (depending on how much your DM wants to dick with you) will almost certainly attract unwanted attention. 
8. Alluring Features: You’re sexy and you know it. Increase your Charisma by 1, to a maximum of 20.

Unfortunately for Fighter, the ceremony of Growadawng was designed as the culmination of an ecstatic rite, meaning that there are no do-overs. Petitioners are only asked once, and all changes (or lack thereof) are permanent.