Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Switcheroo (Patreon)

"This doesn't look like an emergency," he said.

Overhead the great spotlight, with its enormous letter "H," shone brightly against the clouds. It was meant for emergency use only, but no bank robberies were in progress. There didn't seem to be any kaiju attacking. Her Highness looked resolutely un-kidnapped. She stood, in fact, with a pair of goblets in hand and a slight smile on her lips.

"Trust me," she said. "It has been an emergency for some time now. And unless I am much mistaken, I believe you feel the same."

He snorted in dismay. The hero called Horespower had an excellent Insight score, and he knew what the look in Elf Princess's eye meant. He had seen it all too often.

"I am sorry," he said, "But I've told you before. We can never be. Whatever feelings you might think you have for me, you must let them go. You deserve someone more of your own..." He trailed off then, gesturing with one hoof as if vainly searching.

"What?" she asked. "Someone more of my own status?"

"Sure. We'll go with that."

"Love does not care for station or title," she said. "Or don't you feel the same? Can you honestly look me in the eye and say you feel nothing?"

He tossed his head and stamped at the ground. He did not, however, say a word in denial.

"Drink with me," she said, holding out a goblet in one trembling hand. "For I have found a magic that may change your mind. I know that your duties as an avenging do-gooder take precedence. I know that our enemies may try and use me against you. I don't care. What good are those tropes if we can't defy them?" There were circumstance bonuses building in her voice now. Her red hair hung low across her elfin face. "Can't we put it all aside and just be what we are for a night? A single humanoid female and a hunky humanoid male: two against the world? Why should we fight for this kingdom but not for one another?"

Her eyes were doing that sparkling thing again. His heart raced. The potion sloshed in its cup, and his Wisdom save utterly failed.

"To what shall we drink?" he said.

"To us," she answered. And then, almost as an afterthought, "Neigh."