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Tell me a joke and I will tell you a lame joke.

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Luis_El Oso_Graciano

Two fellows are out hunting in the woods, suddenly one of them clutches his chest and falls onhis face. The other man rapidly gets his phone, and by divine grace there is signal and dial the emergency number. "Emergency line, what is the problem?!" A woman answers, the man desperately blurts out: "Ma'am! I think my friend is dead! He clutched his chest and fell face first!" The dispatcher takes a breath "Okay, first, make sure your friend is death and not only fallen down." The man goes silent and say "Okay, okay, give me one moment." The dispatcher waits with bathed breath and suddenly jumped as she hears a gunshot, the man speaks "okay "Okay, okay! I am sure he is dead now!"

Anonymous

Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to the other side, but if you think about it, is a suicide joke...the other side....I don't know if this counts but still hahaha

Luis_El Oso_Graciano

A six year old to their teahcer: "Miss, would you ever punish me for something I didn't do?" the kid says dejected. The teacher moved hugs the kid and says "No! Of course not!" The kid smiles "Ah thank goodness! Because I didn't do my homework!"

Gray

What's red, but smells like blue paint?

Borg Lord

Let's lead with something nerdy: An derivative walks into a bar. As usual, all the functions in the bar scream and run out of the back door, because they don't want to be changed. When the chaos clears, though, one function is still sitting calmly and drinking its beer as if nothing had happened. Curious the derivative goes over to it and asks "Why are you still here? Aren't you afraid of me?" The function says "No, I'm e^x, so I don't really care." "Nice to meet you, e^x," replies the derivative, "I'm d/dy."

Borg Lord

Now one that's less nerdy: Two atoms bump into each other on the street. One yells "I think I lost an electron!" The other asks "Are you sure?" The first responds "I'm positive!"

Shitlord

My life.