My trash fire, let me show you it (Patreon)

As nearly as I can reconstruct I was 14 when I wrote this, in pencil in a pair of notebooks salvaged from the trash on the last day of school the previous year (that was where I got all my writing notebooks in those days.) It is... interesting. Basically, it's what if my fanfic obsession at the time (Battle of the Planets, the bastardized translation of Science Ninja Team Gatchaman) entered the witness protection program and had most of the names filed off to become an original fic, and then had a horrible transporter accident with a dystopian story in the at-that-time popular line of Overpopulation Horror. It's got tone issues all over the place, it has... lots... of ellipses..., it has utter absurdities like a paid government agency that kills random people and drugs that people are forcibly addicted to in childhood that cause death on withdrawal and then a limited lifetime supply provided, and it has no consciousness whatsoever that someday the Internet would be a thing. On the other hand, it's... different?

Anyway my intent is to critique this thing publicly and then rewrite it, but I thought it might amuse you guys to see how bad I was when I was starting out. :-)