I'M GOING TO BE 50!! (Patreon)

Hello, gang. I'm 50 in August. Like many of you, I had planned to do *something* for what I'm told is a landmark birthday. Not a party, because that feels like a whole lot of organisation and money for an event I wouldn't much enjoy anyway. We had sort of semi-promised ourselves a special holiday; perhaps another go at the honeymoon, which was upended by near-death and serious injury. 

That's obviously not going to happen either, even if I could afford it, which I can't after the past 12 months. 

I don't really mind being 50. It's just another birthday, ultimately, and I've already had 49 of those. It only feels like a big number if I think about it, and consider that in another 10 years I'll be 60. And 70 after that. That'll be me done! 

I jest. 

I hope I'm going to carry on making weird videos and music, and whatnot, and keep pushing back against society's determination to write us all off past a certain age. Maybe I'll stop one day, and retire gracefully, but not anytime soon. I don't see why I should ever fit into the expectation that once you reach a certain age you should continue with grace! I'm going to go out kicking and shrieking. 

The pressure to mark the big birthdays is purely external for me. But at the same time, I sort of like having an excuse to do something out of the ordinary. To go... "I'M 50!" - as self-indulgent as that might be, and have something to look back on in years to come. I had an idea for a year-long podcast, looking at the films, music and TV from every year I've been alive, but we're already doing one podcast which requires quite a bit of research. 

Part of the problem for all of us right now is not knowing how much we can plan ahead. I'm already regretting buying tickets for Back To The Future: The Musical in July, and fighting to stay optimistic about September's Digi Live. We're all living in hope that life will go back to normal this year, yet even when they talk about vaccine success... it seems to be with the caveat that it won't be like waving a magic wand on the situation. Restrictions, at some level, will carry on. I worry about live music, festivals, theatre, comedy... if there's another full year of social distancing. 

Aaaaanyway... so, this turning 50 thing. As I can't really bank on doing something out of the ordinary in real life, I want to do something out of the ordinary creatively. I just don't know what that might be yet. 

I'm open to suggestions, though!

Paul