miscellaneous (Patreon)

A painting in progress. I'm tired, so I'm leaving it alone.

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This summer is terribly hot. It is especially humid where I live, and on sunny days along the national highway, it is as if I am covered with a double layer of down quilt.

And the air conditioner in my room sometimes goes out of control. I sometimes feel air-conditioning sickness because of it.

We sold quite a few T-shirts the other day.

However, the cost of production alone has reduced the amount of money I have in my pocket to a minus figure. Of course, that in itself is a joy.

However, I am not good at handling money. I am not good at metaphysical operations.

So when I think I am dealing with money of an unusual amount, I almost panic.

Summer fatigue, air-conditioning sickness, and this panic have been destroying me the past few days.

(Those of you who have been following my Patreon for a long time will know how “healthy” a problem this is: ...... my soul is alive now!)

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And I've been slacking and reading a lot, unable to make good progress on the paintings of the work I've received.

One that I have been very enthusiastic about recently is Ortega y Gasset's “The Rebellion of the Masses.”

From the preface, this book clearly articulated the language of the various issues that were plaguing me.

It is a difficult book, but it is probably one of the easiest to read without technical knowledge.

I also enjoyed Uexküll's “The World from the Viewpoint of Organisms. It is a completely different book from “The Rebellion of the Masses,” but we share many things in common through the realm of philosophy.

I also read a number of other books on language and consciousness.

There is a reason why I have read so many books and drawn so few pictures.

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I am not interested in pixel art per se. I am interested in the regularity of the world's structure. This interest has tormented me since I was a child. It was a desire that took precedence over friendships and work. And it is the pixels that give me a glimpse of this “regularity.

Looking back, until I was over 30 years old, all I did was draw pictures without reading some books.

The reason why I am still drawing a few pictures is probably because my main interest is not in the pictures themselves, but in the “world.

Do not worry, I will continue to paint. I deeply understand that I cannot escape this habit.

However, I will call this summer the summer of reading.

I can't even bring myself to go to the beach... I'm sick and tired of making reckless trips and collapsing from heat stroke.