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September 25, 2022

WEREWOLF GIRL STORY: I've officially made Wolfgirl's Pet Witch a prequel to Innocent Devil's Harem.

The setting is the 1650's, so there won't be any major overlap, but there is one character from IDH whose origin story is going to be a part of the plot.

The plot also advances a lot faster than IDH. Over a month has already passed in the story after only 8 chapters.

Based on polls, tentative title change will be Innocent Wolfgirl's Pet Witch (for the eventual book version), just so people know there's a connection between the two. It's an 'all female' harem (MC is female, as well as her two lovers).

 

NOTE: Well, this chapter is officially the start of us going down a very crazy/intense/exciting path that eventually leads to us finding out the 'truth' about Kai and his origins.

But don't worry -- this chapter doesn't end on a cliffhanger or anything like that. It's just that the overall story, moving forward, is going to involve a lot of revelations (and a lot of intense conflict/drama).

  

BOOK RELEASES:

Combat Healer Book 1 is available for $0.99 on Amazon. (It covers Chapters 1-14, and is 101,000 words.)

Innocent Devil’s Harem Book 6 is also now available, for anyone who prefers the kindle version.

 

ARTWORK: Both Miriam and Avery are available.

Mel is now available for the Demigod tier (so if you're reading this, you can see Mel.)

 

<< Chapter 100 | Ch 1 (Book 1) | Ch 16 (Book 2) | Ch 31 (Book 3) | Ch 46 (Book 4) | Ch 61 (Book 5) | Ch 76 (Book 6) | Ch 91 (Book 7)

 

- CHAPTER 101: Encounter -

 

The door to Mr. Abram’s office was a rich dark wood with a slight red hue to it, looking as expensive and professional as any door could be. And then, there was the inside of his office, appearing as what I might expect from a high-end lawyer or businessman. It was obvious that there was a massive window running along the wall behind the large mahogany desk, though the blinds were currently closed most of the way, a mixture of some sunlight and dim ceiling lights illuminating the room to a sufficient level to not feel dark.

There was a black leather couch to the right side of the room that matched the ones out in the lobby area, with a potted plant on each side, as well as a couple of plush leather chairs situated in front of his desk. To the left, there were three bookshelves, as well as a black doorway that was clearly marked as a bathroom at the top. The walls had a few picture frames on them, but they were all framed paintings -- no pictures of people.

And then, there was the man behind the desk.

Having a similar style and complexion as the previous incubus I’d met, the two of them couldn’t have looked any different, only sharing one thing in common -- their youthful appearance. This man looked like he was barely twenty-five. Barely any older than Serenity.

Tan skin, black hair, a neatly trimmed goatee, and wearing a black suit similar to mine, he glanced up at me from an elevated monitor on his desk, the moment I entered the room, only to sit up straighter as I closed the door behind me, sliding away a wireless keyboard to the side.

His desk was immaculate, clearly organized, even though he had some stacks of papers and a few books cluttering his space.

Interlacing his tan fingers together, several gold rings with inset gems adorning them, he leaned forward with his elbows on the wooden surface, resting his chin on both hands, his dark eyes unreadable.

“Wow, look at you,” he said simply as I walked about halfway, still several feet away from the two chairs.

I stopped then, uncertain of his tone.

Because, while I assumed he was making that statement due to this being the first time he was seeing me in nearly sixteen years, ever since I was two years old, something felt off.

But then he continued.

“You look absolutely nothing like me, or your mother.”

I froze solid. “Umm, is that bad?”

He immediately became more animated as he dropped his interlaced fingers to the desk. “Bad? No, not at all. Mildly concerning? Perhaps.” He then reached over and picked up his desk phone, only to speak into it without dialing any kind of number, instead only pushing one button. “Please come in here,” he said simply.

I knew who he was speaking to right away, having heard his voice echo slightly just outside the room, though it was far too quiet to have been on a speaker system. Nevertheless, the blonde secretary got up and immediately headed toward the door.

When she opened it, I glanced back just in time to see her tucking some of her blonde hair behind her ear, briefly revealing an earpiece I hadn’t noticed earlier.

“Yes, Mr. Abrams? What can I help you with?” she wondered, almost sounding hopeful.

However, rather than respond, he held up his finger to indicate she needed to wait, instead focusing on his monitor again briefly, a painfully long handful of seconds passing in complete silence. His eyebrows then raised at whatever he must have been reading, possibly the message from Ms. Elizabeth Monroe, before he focused on me again and cleared his throat.

“Excuse me,” he said politely. “You’ll have to humor me, my son, just this once. As I don’t take kindly to imposters.”

“I’m not an imposter!” I said in sincere shock, wondering if Ms. Monroe had said something.

“I’m sure you aren’t,” he agreed sincerely, his tone not giving me any hint of whether or not he was being sarcastic or serious. “Which is why I want you to make my secretary do something.” He shifted his gaze to the woman. “And I want you to remain perfectly still, are we clear?”

“Of course, Mr. Abrams,” she replied warmly, almost affectionately.

I just glanced back at her in shock, and then back at him. “What do you want me to tell her to do?” I asked seriously.

He shrugged, opening his folded hands at the same time with his gesture. “Anything at all, my boy. Anything at all.” He then interlaced his fingers again and waited.

And I was starting to panic a little.

Because my compulsion wasn’t very effective unless at least my eyes were transformed.

And I didn’t even know if he knew my secret!

Shit, for all I knew, maybe transforming was unheard of among his sons!

Fuck!

Fuck, this was bad!

Turning around completely, both toward her and also having my back facing my father, I decided to first try really hard to compel her without transforming, suspecting it would be difficult since she was already under my father’s control.

I mean shit, she wasn’t even looking at me!

Shit!

Focusing with all my might, I gave her a simple command.

And I was almost relieved when she abruptly shifted her gaze to me before I even spoke, as if my eyes were a magnet.

“Raise your hand in the air.”

Her arm visibly twitched, a strange thrill appearing in her light brown eyes, a sharp contrast to her blonde hair, only for her to compose herself.

Fuck!

Should I try again?!

My father immediately spoke up expectantly.

Well?” he demanded.

Fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I was shocked when the secretary responded, revealing he’d been talking to her.

“I almost did it,” she admitted apologetically. “I know you requested I not move, but when he told me to raise my hand, I wanted to do it so badly, that I almost did. Very sorry, Mr. Abrams.”

He chuckled, seeming completely at ease.

And I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Not at all,” he said warmly. “In fact, perhaps you will be rewarded later. In the meantime, you may leave.”

She looked thrilled again. “Thank you so much, Mr. Abrams,” she said intensely, promptly turning around to depart.

Oh fuck, I really felt like I was going to pass out.

That one single situation made me almost have a panic attack.

Slowly turning back around, I met his gaze, trying to compose myself. “T-That was enough?”

He shrugged again. “Of course, my son. You’re still only a boy, even if the world considers you an adult now. And it has come to my attention, at least according to the woman who drove you here…” He paused to gesture toward his monitor. “That you had no idea of your origins until just recently. I would have actually been satisfied with less. Truthfully, the fact that she actually almost listened was a bit unexpected. I assumed she might only have a slight urge, and nothing more.”

I tried to swallow, realizing what that implied -- that what I was truly capable of was far outside the scope of what was normal for someone my age.

“Oh…” I replied hesitantly. “But I mean, I am your son, right? Do I really look nothing like my mother?”

“Let me see the back of your arm,” he requested.

I gave him a confused look. “Wait, what?”

“Please take off your jacket, unbutton your vest and shirt, and let me see the back of your arm. The left one.”

Uncertain of why he was asking this, or what he was getting at, I hesitantly did so, concerned he was looking for a scar or something, which of course wouldn’t be present when I was a regenerator! Which I knew was definitely not normal!

However, after folding my suit jacket over one of the chairs, and then undoing my vest and loosening my tie, followed by getting my shirt unbutton and my left arm out, I turned my shoulder toward him.

“You’ll need to raise your arm, my boy,” he said patiently.

I quickly did so.

“Yep, you’re my son,” he said simply.

I immediately tried to look at my armpit, confused as to what he’d just seen. “What’s there?” I asked seriously.

“The tiniest of birthmarks. A grayish blemish no larger than a pea, just in the crease of your arm there, toward the back. Normally, I wouldn’t notice such a thing, but in the two years that you lived with one of my concubines, she pointed it out to me.” He paused, seeming to shift subjects slightly, in order to more fully answer my question. “I have a sort of sixth sense of knowing when a child is mine, prior to their birth, but as they grow older, it becomes more difficult to tell,” he added. “But that birthmark confirms it, even if it’s obvious you also wield traces of my power.”

“Oh,” I said in surprise, beginning to get my shirt all the way back on as I processed that. “Umm, is there any way I can meet her?” I then wondered, just grasping for anything in my past, as I buttoned my shirt back up.

“The woman who nursed you?” he said in surprise, only to reach up and scratch his chin. “Yes, perhaps that could be arranged. I’m no longer in touch with her, and haven’t been for some time now, but I could see about getting you a phone number. Or perhaps an address.” He paused to pull his keyboard closer again and then began typing on it. “I’ll inform the woman who brought you here.”

“Oh, umm, thanks,” I replied hesitantly, now getting my vest back on, a little surprised at myself for even asking, uncertain of why I’d even want to know that information. And then, even more surprised that he so freely offered it, as if requesting was no big deal. “Umm, and what about my actual mother?” I wondered.

He frowned at that. “That information is not something I can provide, for I do not have it. Shortly after you were born, we lost touch entirely.”

My heart sunk a little.

Of course, I was already pretty much aware, since Ms. Monroe had basically said as much when I asked if she’d be here today -- not to mention that the woman who gave birth to me was apparently immune to compulsion, and thus couldn’t be compelled into keeping in touch -- but still…

“Oh,” was all I could manage.

He frowned then as he refocused on me, interlacing his fingers again. “I believe she left you a message, did she not? Or perhaps you are unaware? My servant should have kept safe for you a black stone that contained a message from her.”

“Oh…okay,” I said slowly, trying hard to think fast, ready to try to change the subject.

However, thankfully, he did it for me, not seeming even remotely interested in this topic. Which to me implied he definitely wasn’t responsible for that curse on the stone. Because he just didn’t seem to care at all about it. He was only humoring my questions. But now, he was ready to discuss why I was even here.

My biological father cleared his throat. “But enough of that. I suppose you’re curious as to why you’ve been summoned?”

I nodded, trying to look a little somber.

He took a deep breath. “My oldest living son has recently passed. Today is his funeral. It will be held at a cathedral just down the street from here. Even if you didn’t know the man, I expect all of my sons to be in attendance when family is lost, no matter how young or old.”

“Of course,” I agreed sincerely.

He seemed to appreciate that response, nodding once. “Perhaps we will speak more later, but I’m afraid I have further responsibilities I can’t ignore, even despite the occasion. If you’ll wait in the lobby, the woman who brought you here will come pick you up in the next half hour. In the meantime, if you have any needs or requests, feel free to ask anything of my secretary, and she will be more than happy to serve you.”

I frowned at that, wondering just how literal his words were. “Umm, alright. I guess we’ll just stick with Ms. Monroe all day then?”

He sighed. “After the funeral, there will be a repast banquet, in which you are free to mingle and meet your twelve living brothers. I’m sure they’ll at least want to meet you. I may wish to speak to you later, so you’ll be required to stay for at least a few hours.”

Fuck. That basically meant I was going to have to put up with interacting with the others.

Dammit.

I was about to respond that I understood, but unexpectedly my words caught in my throat, as I became hyper-focused on soft footsteps coming down the hall, and not because there was anything unusual about the sound.

NO, it was because I suddenly got a whiff…

Of an all too familiar scent…

One that made my heart nearly stop.

For half a second, I wondered if I’d somehow gotten Miriam’s scent on my suit and missed it, only to realize I would have noticed it way sooner if that was the case, especially in the car.

No, this was something else entirely.

Even through the closed door, an intoxicating maple syrup aroma was preceding the individual currently opening the glass doors to the lobby of my father’s office.

The secretary immediately spoke up, but to no avail.

“Oh miss, please wait a moment.”

Immediately, without hesitation, the door behind me barged open, and a youthful voice spoke up.

“Hey John, I know you’re busy, but can you spare…” Her angelic voice instantly trailed off, only to burst out in excitement. “Oh John!” she exclaimed, suddenly sounding intensely giddy. “Who in heaven’s name is this yummy man? Oh my, you absolutely must let me borrow him,” she continued, walking right up to me and wrapping herself practically around my arm. “I absolutely must try him out.”

Fuck!

I was really panicking now.

Because if there was going to be anyone who might know I’d been with a succubus…it was probably another succubus!

This girl was short. About as short as Miriam, if not the same height.

And she was just as thin, her chest no larger than A-cups, again just like Miriam.

From the corner of my eye, I could see that she had black hair, her skin looking fairly pale, and I was pretty sure her eyes were blue, but couldn’t quite tell, unwilling to fully look at her…

Unable to engage at all, just completely frozen in place.

Just completely frozen the fuck in place.

As this short minx held onto my arm, clearly interested in me even though she hadn’t even seen my face yet, only having gotten a view of my back when she walked in.

Needless to say, my father seemed surprised. “You want to borrow him?” he said with raised eyebrows.

She sounded almost pouty. “Pretty please? If this meeting is really important, then I can bring him right back. Just give me ten minutes, okay? Although I’ll need him for a lot longer later this evening.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

How should I act in this situation?

How would a normal person act around a succubus?

No…

That was the wrong question.

How would a half-incubus act around a succubus?!

Fuck, I had no idea!

My father finally frowned. “You realize that’s my youngest son, right?”

Instantly, the girl holding onto me froze solid.

Like, she fucking froze the fuck solid.

Suddenly, she was even stiffer than me!

“He’s…” Her voice trailed off, only for her to loosen her grip on my arm. “Oh…” she managed, slowly beginning to pull away. “Umm…”

Deciding to finally glance down at her…

I unexpectedly felt like someone punched me in the gut.

It was like my world was suddenly upended, and I didn’t even fully understand why, wondering if she’d hit me with a fantasy, like what Miriam and Rebecca could do.

Emotions that came out of nowhere started to flood through me, with the force of a freight train.

Because, unexpectedly, with a single glance, I saw her.

I had never seen this short black-haired girl in my entire life, but suddenly it was as if I was seeing someone who I’d known all my life.

Her aura.

Her core.

Her very essence.

I saw it, even without seeing it.

Jericho.

Her father wanted a male child, and so named his daughter Jericho -- expecting the same of her as he would any son, not treating her as a woman, like how she deserved.

Hitting her and abusing her, just as he would have done to any son, when she didn’t measure up to his expectations. When she wasn’t strong enough to perform her chores and duties.

Her resulting core, Dependence.

Holy fuck…

Holy fuck, what was happening right now?

How in the hell did I know that?!

How in the fucking hell did I know all that?!

“Jericho,” I whispered without thinking, unable to breathe, feeling stunned by the wave of intense familiarity washing over me.

Oh my God, she felt so familiar to me.

The girl’s bright blue eyes immediately looked up at me in shock and alarm, only to instantly collect herself in the blink of an eye, looking highly offended.

Looking everything like an entitled spoiled bratty teenage girl.

Excuse me. My name is Delilah,” she snapped, only to focus on my father as she pulled away entirely. “And never mind, John. Had I realized this was one of your filthy spawns, I wouldn’t have made such a request.” Her tone then flipped entirely, literally an instant one-eighty, becoming apologetic toward him. “And sorry. I realize this is a hard day for you. I shouldn’t have spoken so selfishly. Please forgive me.”

My father just stared at her with raised eyebrows, prompting her to ‘humph’ toward me, almost as if she was too good for me, and stomp out of the room like a literal spoiled brat.

Though clearly, it was all for show.

Clearly, she’d been just as troubled by what I’d called her, as I still was by what I’d just felt.

The man at the desk then focused on me, as if looking for an explanation to what just transpired.

I cleared my throat, trying to recover from the confusion and shock, still having no clue what just happened.

“Umm, sorry. She reminded me of a girl from school. Almost thought it was her for a second.” I then hesitated, realizing he must know about the ability to create fantasies. “It was…actually really bizarre…how familiar she felt…for a second there,” I added uncertainly.

He simply nodded, seeming to accept that explanation, probably because he truly was aware of the fantasies that succubi could create, but overall just not seeming to give a fuck. “Well, I must say, it is very curious that she seemed interested in you. Her kind tends to find us unpleasant to be around.”

“Her kind?” I repeated, trying to feign ignorance.

Trying to undo any suspicion I’d caused by my reaction.

“Ah yes,” he began. “Of course you might not have realized it. She’s the female version of us. A succubus, if you will. Though not a whole one.”

“Not a whole one?” I said in sincere surprise.

“Yes,” he continued casually. “She uses an illusion spell to hide her true form like most others, but there’s not much to hide. She’s missing most of her tail, as well as one wing. Both maimed down to stubs. Even the one wing she does have is nonfunctioning. It was very clearly broken at one point, and the bones never set right when they healed. I’ve offered to just have them surgically removed, but she refuses.”

My heart instantly sank to the pit of my stomach.

Between this sense of familiarity, as if I knew this person, and then finding out she’d been hurt at one point in time, to the point of being truly maimed, I felt like I was going to be sick.

“H-How did that happen?”

He shrugged casually. “No idea. She’s never shared.”

“And the two of you are what exactly?” I wondered, only to quickly continue, not wanting to give off the wrong impression. “Kind of surprised how she spoke to you,” I added. “Very rude.”

He frowned at that. “I’d say ‘friends,’ but I’m afraid that’s the wrong sentiment. In a way, she’s like a daughter, I suppose. Certainly an eccentric thorn in my side, since she refuses to grow up. You’d never guess the brat was 3,015 years old.”

I was shocked by that. Both by the age, and the fact he was even sharing so freely. Clearly, he wasn’t afraid of her being pissed about such disclosures.

But that meant she was one year younger than Miriam.

Granted, considering all incubi and succubi were created roughly around the same time, then that kind of made sense. No doubt they were all roughly the same age.

I spoke hesitantly. “And…what about you? If I may ask,” I wondered politely.

He frowned. “My age? Only about twenty years older.” He then sighed. “However, I’d rather not discuss such things at the moment. There are memories I’d prefer to not reminisce on a day such as this.”

“Of course,” I agreed quietly, recalling that he’d been about to excuse me before that short woman barged in. “Umm, I guess I’ll wait in the lobby then.”

He simply nodded, and I proceeded to excuse myself by walking out and closing the door quietly.

Unfortunately, I barely got out of the room before the blonde secretary literally threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around mine, squishing her adequate chest against me in what could only be described as highly inappropriate for the workplace.

“All done, handsome?” she wondered, only to continue without waiting for a response. “I’ve just been informed that you’ll be waiting for about half an hour, so in the meantime, feel free to ask anything of me, alright? Would you perhaps like me to give you a little tour?” she added, reaching down to rest her hand on my leg.

Glancing at Serenity sitting on the couch, who was just as stunned as I was, I realized this woman must serve more of a ‘public use’ type of function in my father’s life, since I couldn’t imagining her making such a blatant offer, if it were not allowed.

And clearly, this woman had it bad for incubi cock.

She wasn’t even trying to be discreet about the fact that she wanted me to fuck her.

However, I very much had a different goal in mind at this point, which was to carefully try to track down the succubus who had just stormed in and out of my biological father’s office.

“Umm, not right now,” I replied hesitantly, verifying with Serenity through our bond that the nearest bathrooms, not counting the one in my father’s office, were down the hall. “Although, I do need to run to the restroom, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, I don’t mind at all,” she agreed suggestively, clinging even more tightly to me. “I’ll take you there right now.”

“Alone, please,” I said more seriously.

Her expression dropped at that, as if I’d hurt her feelings. “Oh. I see.” She pouted. “Very well. It’s just down the hall.” She immediately cheered back up. “But afterward, please let me show you around a little, okay? I promise you’ll be glad you did. I have ‘certain things’ to show you, that I think you will really appreciate.”

“Possibly,” I offered, beginning to pull away.

She sighed heavily, but let me go, pouting as I headed for the glass doors.

Of course, we were trying to avoid suspicion, so Serenity stayed where she was, with me already following the maple syrup scent to track down the short succubus.

Because I had to talk to her.

After what I felt?

Yeah, I absolutely had to find her and talk to her.

That couldn’t have been her ability to generate a fantasy. No way.

She seemed just as shocked as I was when I called her Jericho, something I was certain wouldn’t have happened if she’d intentionally tried to make herself feel familiar to me, much like Miriam had done in the kitchen when I first laid eyes on her.

But would I be able to find her?

Would she have left the building already?

Making my way down the hall, and past the elevators, I was surprised to realize she hadn’t even left the floor. Her scent going down the hall, around the corner on the right toward the far end, and then through a doorway that didn’t appear to lead anywhere in particular.

Carefully, I reached out for the handle and began opening it up, surprised by how nice it looked inside. It was very much designed kind of like a breakroom, but there were also very obviously several leather couches that could be used for relaxing, if not for taking a nap.

From the scent alone, I knew immediately she was in the room, but she wasn’t in sight, the room curving around to the left side where I couldn’t see.

Letting the door close behind me, I decided to speak up, not wanting to startle her by just barging in.

“Jericho,” I whispered.

I could hear her heartbeat skip once as it unexpectedly sped up. “W-Who the fuck are you?” she hissed.

Stepping forward more into the room, I cautiously rounded the corner to see that the space was even bigger than I’d initially assumed, much of the room having been out of sight, with a whopping five couches crammed in this space.

She was curled up with her arms covering her head like she was taking cover, leaning into the arm of one of the leather couches, a large window behind her with closed blinds. It was fairly dark in the room, the main light off, but I could see just fine.

Although, I only now saw what she was wearing.

Tight leather pants that were a shade darker than the couch, along with a loose lowcut sheer black shirt with no bra straps in sight, overall causing her to look very much like a chick going to a rock band concert, than someone planning on attending a funeral, even if she was dressed in the appropriate colors. In particular, the shirt was sheer enough that it revealed her slim belly, with it being darker around the chest area, being the only reason why she wasn’t exposed, since she otherwise didn’t have anything else on.

Possibly not even underwear, given how lowriding the leather pants were.

Quietly, I whispered that name again.

“Jericho.”

She finally looked at me, a mixture of anger and sincere fear in her expression. “I said my name is Delilah!” she snapped, only for the brief wave of anger to fade as she focused on me standing there, immediately holding out one of her hands as she covered her eyes with the other. “Go away! Right now!” she yelled without restraint. “If you even so much as touch me, you’ll regret it! And you better not try to compel me, or else your father will kill you!” Her voice dropped. “Fuck, I should have worn a mind stone today,” she hissed to herself.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” I whispered.

She kept her thin pale arm out, but it started trembling, her head still turned away, her hand still covering her blue eyes.

We were both silent for a long few seconds, and the longer the silence lingered, the more my heart began to throb. The more my chest began to physically hurt.

I didn’t know how, but I sincerely felt like I knew this person.

To the point that it would be like me hitting my head and forgetting Serenity, only to come across her again. It was that level of familiarity.

Moving closer, ignoring it when she whimpered once, beginning to tremble even more, I closed the distance between us and then carefully sat down beside her on the leather couch.

It was obvious she had only grown more afraid, clearly feeling just as confused as I was over this entire situation, and anxious about what I was going to do. More than that, it was even possible that the ‘unknown’ was dredging up traumatizing memories, of which I was sure she had plenty.

Thus, I decided to just rip the bandage off, and in one swift motion, I reached out and pulled her into my arms and against my chest, prompting her entire body to stiffen, her arms pushing hard against my muscled stomach. Yet, I didn’t let her go.

Didn’t allow her to push herself away.

But it was obvious she was starting to sincerely panic.

My tone was urgent. “You can feel my aura, right?” I whispered as she continued to resist. “You should know I’d never hurt you.”

She seemed to stiffen even more at that, before very slowly allowing me to pull her more fully against my chest, still tense, but not trying as hard now to get away. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have been so assertive, but we were limited on time right now, and this was the one thing that had to be dealt with right here and now.

Because ‘talking’ wasn’t going to overcome this fear of the ‘unknown.’

Trying to figure out this situation wasn’t going to overcome her hesitation.

What she needed to know, more than anything, was simply one thing.

I was not a threat to her.

More than that, I was on her side.

That didn’t necessarily mean I could trust her, or that she was on my side, but if I was ever going to get the opportunity to talk to her for any length of time, then we had to cross this bridge right this minute.

So I held her tightly, being careful not to touch her invisible maimed wings, and even pulled her into my lap once she began to hug me back, enveloping her in all the warmth that I could muster, in all the kindness and gentleness I could manage, making it clear with every fiber of my being, that she could trust me.

If nothing else, even if I couldn’t trust her, she could at least trust me.

Finally, she sniffled. “W-Who are you?”

I hesitated, taking a slow deep breath. “I…don’t know how to answer that question. Other than to point out my connection to, umm, Mr. Abrams.”

“You don’t feel like the spawn of an incubus,” she whispered.

I wasn’t sure what to say to that, not wanting to share too much information with her, when I still wasn’t confident that this wasn’t just all an elaborate ploy on her end, manipulating me into trusting her when I really shouldn’t. After all, succubi could truly create fantasies that were very believable.

Except, was it possible for her to actually plant a name in my head?

I wasn’t sure if that was truly a thing.

And sure enough, she seemed to be distressed by that particular fact. “H-How do you know that name?”

“Jericho?” I assumed.

Yes,” she said emphatically. “No one knows that name. No one.”

I again wasn’t sure how to respond, but I knew I had to.

“When I saw you,” I said quietly. “It was like I was seeing someone I’d known all my life. More than that, I feel like I know you. Your name, the reason why you were given it, and even what makes you who you are. I know you, and I have no idea how.”

She stiffened slightly at that. “Why do you think I was given that name?”

“Because your father wanted a son,” I said simply. “And it was solely a boy’s name when you were born,” I added.

She tensed even more, before going completely limp in my arms, burying her face against my chest. Her voice was muffled as she spoke up. “This doesn’t make any sense. Aren’t you really young? I thought his youngest son was still a teenager.”

“Well, I’m eighteen, so that’s technically true,” I replied.

She sniffled, beginning to rub her face back and forth against my white shirt and tie. “We can’t let anyone know,” she whispered. “I don’t know what this is, but please don’t tell your father, or anyone else here.”

“I won’t,” I said seriously. “Of course, I won’t. Honestly, I’m just as worried about their reactions as you are.” I hesitated then, realizing I was, in fact, beginning to divulge information about how I really felt about the situation, even just by saying that last part. “Can I trust you?” I finally asked.

She hesitated at that, only to slowly look up at me, finally showing me her bright blue eyes.

Fuck, she was beautiful.

Breathtaking.

Just as youthful and perfect as Miriam, even if they looked nothing alike.

“How can I answer such a question honestly?” she asked seriously. “I don’t even know you. You’re just some random kid, the spawn of an incubus no less, who has shown up out of nowhere, knowing impossible things. I shouldn’t even consider trusting you. I mean, the only reason why I even have any trust for your father, is because I feel confident he values my utility, and it’s through centuries of being around him, that I trust he’ll keep his word.”

I spoke hesitantly. “And…what utility do you serve…exactly?”

“I can’t tell you that!” she exclaimed. “I would have to trust you to tell you that, and I don’t even know you!”

Shh, not so loud,” I said seriously.

She grimaced, only to bury her face against my chest again.

She then took a deep breath. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m telling you this. I make magical artifacts for him, okay? It’s a lost art, and there are few who can do it. But you can’t tell anyone. Definitely not any of your brothers. God, if they found out, I’d go missing in under a week.”

“They’d kidnap you?” I said in surprise.

“Yes, they’d fucking kidnap me,” she hissed against my chest. “They’d fucking make me a slave. And yeah, maybe your father would find me eventually, but maybe he wouldn’t. There’s plenty of buyers out there for magical items, so they could either sell me directly to an interested party, or else use me to secretly make a fortune practically overnight.” She scoffed. “Main reason your father doesn’t do that, is to avoid anyone figuring out that he has someone who can make such things, which again would possibly result in my kidnapping.”

I held her even tighter, knowing it was a big deal for her to be sharing this with me. “I swear, I won’t tell any of them, and if for some reason I find out you’ve gone missing, then I swear I’ll track you down and find you myself.”

She tensed at that, her voice coming out almost pained. “Who the fuck are you?” she almost whimpered.

I smirked. “Kai Ashworth,” I said simply, feeling uncertain of how else to answer that.

And honestly, I knew I probably couldn’t stay here for much longer. After all, I’d only requested to go to the bathroom, and while I could probably pretend that I got lost, there was no way I could hang out here for a full half hour. Which meant, I had to go.

It wasn’t worth the risk of my father finding out about this, or him having a problem with it.

I needed to keep as much about my real life hidden from these people as much as possible.

Thus, I cleared my throat. “Obviously, we should keep this a secret, but that just means I should probably get back. I just wanted you to know you could trust me.”

She looked up at me in alarm, dread filling her adorable expression at the announcement of my impending departure. “I could tell him I changed my mind,” she pleaded. “Tell him I wanted to ‘try you out’ after all.”

I could already feel that familiar ball of pleasure appearing in my gut, knowing she wanted to convince me with more than just her words.

“Please don’t make this hard for me,” I said seriously. “Because I do want to figure out what this is between us, but now can’t be the time. Not today, of all days.”

She grimaced at that. “Okay…fuck…” She whimpered, only for her adorable brow to furrow. “Do you have a phone on you?”

“Of course.”

She immediately sat up more fully on my lap as her expression became determined, her leather pants creaking slightly from her movement. “Okay, give it to me,” she demanded, holding out her small hand.

Already reaching inside my coat pocket, where I had decided to stuff it, I pulled it out for her and unlocked it.

She immediately navigated the screen, started typing, and then handed it back.

“Okay, I gave you my number, and put my name as only ‘J,’ just in case someone snoops through your contacts. This way we can figure out a place to meet later.”

“Are you able to travel wherever you want?” I wondered.

She nodded confidently. “Yes. Your father pretty much lets me do whatever I want. I could disappear for a month, and he wouldn’t care. He just keeps me around in case he needs a new artifact made, or if one somehow gets broken and needs repair.” She paused. “However, that’s all the more reason for why I might never be seen again if I got kidnapped. Because he wouldn’t even try looking for me for a few months.”

My brow furrowed. “I swear, I won’t tell anyone who would want to abuse you, okay? Not on my life.”

She pursed her full pink lips at that, only to sigh heavily, her tone casual. “Can we have sex before you go? I promise I’ll make you cum in under two minutes.”

Fuck.

Not only was her perception of sex just as casual as Miriam’s had once been, but she also likely assumed that I viewed sex exactly the same way. Because, after all, I was technically a sex demon.

Fuck!

Would she be offended if I denied her?

Unexpectedly, Gwen pushed a thought through to me, since I’d obviously been way too focused on what was going on to check in with any of them.

‘Master, a message from my mistress. This situation is very risky, as quite a few succubi are devious backstabbers.’ Gwen paused. ‘So, she wants you to fuck her.’

‘Huh?!’ I thought in disbelief.

‘If this girl experiences the pleasure you can give her, it’ll make her more hesitant to betray you, or otherwise deceive you. It’s your one chance to ensure this doesn’t turn out bad.’

Focusing on the minds of my other women, who were all back at the mansion still, including Gabriella, Michelle, Avery, and Natalie, I realized they were all focused on this situation in real-time, all of them together, all already aware of this plan. Of course, Rosa and Mrs. Rebecca were there too, but I didn’t have immediate access to their thoughts, only perceiving them through the others.

I then focused on Serenity, who immediately spoke up when I gave her my attention.

‘Yeah, having sex with her is probably smart. She might be thinking she’ll have you wrapped around her finger afterward, but in reality it will be the other way around, since you’re more used to having sex with a succubus. But be quick. The secretary has already commented about you taking so long.’

Fuck.

Shit, was I really going to do this?

I supposed I really had to.

Otherwise, I did risk this seductive…and potentially manipulative minx…stabbing me in the back. Especially since I truly knew nothing about her at this point. Only that she’d just disclosed some very dangerous information to me, by admitting she could create magical artifacts, with that only being sincerely indicative of her ‘putting faith in me’ if the others truly were unaware.

On the one hand, if no one else knew, then that was a huge deal that she’d just told me.

Like, a really huge fat deal that she’d put that much trust in me, likely based on what she sensed from my aura.

But on the other hand, if everyone already knew, then she was just making it ‘seem’ like she was disclosing such information to cause me to drop my guard.

To what end? Of course, I had no idea, but knew it was unwise to just assume that everything was what it seemed.

Thus, this had to be done.

I had to make sure she experienced what it was like to have sex with me.

Clearing my throat, I spoke up. “Okay, but one thing first. If we do, then I have to share a secret with you.”

“W-What is it?” she asked hesitantly.

“Are you aware of what an incubus looks like without an illusion spell?”

She rolled her eyes, her tone almost mocking. “Of course I’m aware. They’re all ugly and gray. Like a dead body with yellow eyes.”

I sighed. “If we have sex, then I’ll end up looking like that.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “You…you can change forms?” she asked seriously. “Without an illusion spell?”

“Can I trust you?”

She hesitated, before nodding, just seeming stunned.

Taking another deep breath, I decided to slowly transform, watching as her eyes focused on my graying neck, only to dart up to my face when my eyes turned gold.

She gasped.

“You’re…so beautiful,” she whispered, her blue eyes visibly dilating. “How are you so beautiful when they’re so ugly?”

Rather than respond, I reached down and began feeling her warm thighs covered in smooth leather, before moving my hands underneath her sheer shirt to feel her small warm tits, knowing we really didn’t have time to be socializing about this.

But fuck, feeling her tits made me want to take my time.

Of course, I knew she wasn’t wearing a bra, but I wasn’t expecting her tits to actually be larger than I was assuming, since she otherwise was about the same size as Miriam. Certainly, she was still an A-cup like the redheaded minx, definitely not large enough to come even close to Gwen’s breasts, but there was a lot more squishiness there.

Oh God, there was so much squish.

I didn’t want to stop grasping and playing with them, feeling sincerely aroused by their small size.

But no, I had to stay focused.

“Can you really make me cum in only two minutes?” I asked innocently, forcing myself to move my hands back to her leather-clad thighs so I didn’t get too distracted by her tits.

She looked almost appalled that I’d even ask, only to get an aggressive look in her eye. “Boy, I’m about to make you cum the hardest you have in your entire life, in under one minute.”

“Just don’t scream if you end up cumming,” I whispered seriously.

She scoffed at that, reaching down to undo my pants. “Like you even could,” she mumbled, climbing off me so that she could tug my pants down far enough to avoid getting my clothing messy.

I couldn’t help but grin, knowing she had no idea what she was about to get herself into.

Unfortunately, what I didn’t realize right away…

Was that I also…had no fucking idea what I was about to get myself into…

Because all this time…Miriam…

Miriam had been holding back.

By a lot.

 

FEEDBACK: This chapter was called 'Encounter,' but it likely wasn't the encounter you were expecting. What did you think of this chapter?

What do you think of this new character?

What do you think about the familiarity Kai is experiencing? (Who do you think she is, etc.)

 

I should probably forewarn you right now, that I anticipate this character being at least somewhat polarizing, due to her overall personality. Either you'll love her or hate her (she's truly eccentric). But, I think that's better than having a cast of characters who are all roughly the same.

 

NEXT WEEK: Will be a chapter of Combat Healer, followed by more IDH.

 

Chapter 102 >>

LIST OF STORIES >>

LIST OF ARTWORK >>

Comments

Clear Muse

Excited for new character! Mind obviously goes to Miriam's ancient friend, but seems like that should have been revealed already.

Clear Muse

Dad isn't outwardly super evil yet, at least.

Christopher Miller

My bet is Jericho's the friend Miriam had thousands of years ago that she believes is deceased. She has been maimed which could easily been caused from the circumstances of why Miriam believes she's dead. It must have been a really weird situation if a succubus couldn't regenerate from her injuries that caused them. Though if this theory is correct Miriam must have known her by a name other than Deliah or Jericho. I feel positive Gwen would have shared a newly encountered succubi's name with her mistress. As to why Kai has this bond with her I can only think of 2 possible reasons. First, Kai's soul bond with Miriam allows her to share all the long term bonds she shares with others with him. Second, Kai shares this connection with all first generation succubi due to his Frankenstein breeding. He doesn't share it with pure blood incubi, so perhaps it comes from the empathetic nature of succubi? If not these two possibilities it probably is connected in some way to how he was created as a supernatural chimera. Exactly how, I have no idea.

KaizerWolf

&gt; It must have been a really weird situation if a succubus couldn't regenerate from her injuries that caused them. I'll go ahead and share that Miriam's healing spell (based on Ezekiel 37) is pretty powerful. That's the main difference for why Miriam doesn't have any physical scarring. That, and while she's had bones broken, she's never had limbs just straight-up torn off.

Pedro Comenda

I've commeted before on Kai's origin. if i was a betting man. i'd have all my chips on reincarnation.

Christopher Miller

So Kai (using Miriam's spell) is fully capable of healing her wings and tail? I'm assuming we'll actually see that at some point?

KaizerWolf

The spell is capable of healing fresh wounds (and flesh wounds), and even capable of bringing someone back from the point of death, but not capable of full regeneration (not capable of regenerating bone). The spell: &gt; Bone mend, sinew bind, flesh persist, breathe new life. It does those things very well. But say that someone had an arm ripped off. The spell could repair the flesh (in the sense that it could stop the bleeding eventually, depending on who used it, and even keep the person alive despite the blood loss), but it wouldn't be able to 'regenerate' the lost bone. Which means the limb would be lost, UNLESS the limb was still lying around, in which case this spell could help reattach it. Miriam has been hurt a lot, but never in a 'maimed' kind of way. Broken bonds and flesh wounds only, which the spell can do (and it can do without scarring). And if she had ever lost a limb, such as a finger, she could reattach it with this spell. In Ezekiel 37, the valley of dry bones, the emphasis there is that the bones are there. The life is gone, the flesh is gone, but the bones are there. And the reason why Miriam doesn't have a spell to regenerate bone, is because there's no spell in existence that can do that. However, Kai does have one thing that could theoretically fix someone maimed. His blood.

Christopher Miller

And of course that was what I thought was a fall back position. But I thought, why blood bond with her when he could instantly gain trust and a ton of good will by canting a spell? If that's not an option, then well yeah.

Christopher Miller

Just realized that now we have a candidate for harem member #10 that could bond with Miriam and Kai together.

Christopher Miller

My thoughts on Absolom are conflicted. Upon Kai getting the original letter I thought maybe he was a decent guy. He declined to claim Kai's women even though it was his "right". Jonadab was an absolute asshole who hated Absolom. Which probably means either both were absolute dicks, or Absolom was a decent individual who Jonadab held in complete contempt. Absolom is heartbroken over the death of his oldest surviving son, meaning there seems to be legitimate affection he feels for all of them. But he seems to care nothing about their women. Even if they are raped or murdered. Kind of similar to how vampires treated humans in TruBlood. Humans are animals, pets at best that almost don't matter compared to incubi. Hardliners see emotional attachment to humans as a weakness that could be exploited, so it's better to "toughen up" your children's emotional pain threshold by allowing their pets to experience trauma. After all, those pets are going to die long, long before a cambion will. So a full incubus views humans at best as an inferior species to be used and are useful to supply nourishment and companionship, but are way less valuable than an incubus or their spawn.

Christopher Miller

Absolom seems to extend that respect to succubi as well. He could have easily enthralled Deliah (Jericho?) and completely disregarded her feelings to turn her into a mindless bimbo who churned out artifacts for him while she wasn't sucking his cock. But he didn't. He compares her to a bratty, entitled daughter who causes him constant inconvenience. Despite this he continues to allow her free will and have sex with whoever she wishes, not whomever he wants. ::Edit::. He even made her untouchable to his sons, meaning in his perception Deliah being immortal puts her a notch above human women and worthy of more respect.

Christopher Miller

In short, Absolom seems to have the additude of European rulers until the 19th century. God placed you on this earth to serve me and my family, it's your purpose in life. I have been bred to be superior to you in every way, so it's only fitting you serve me in any way I see fit.

Christopher Miller

Jonadab on the other hand hand had the additude of of a Roman emperor. I am your god! You will worship me and I will take any and everything from you if I wish. If on a whim I want to crucify you I will.

Christopher Miller

Absolom seems to have reached a point in life where hunting the most beautiful women is boring. For thousands of years he's had an endless parade of stunning beauties that he effortlessly takes so there is no challenge in it for him any more. It's boring. He seems almost obsessed by succeeding in business though. Modern finance is new historically speaking, and he seems to have made that his vocation and focus. How close am KW?

Christopher Miller

Also, I could see Absolom not yanking women off the streets for his harem. But perhaps being a sugar daddy to very beautiful, intelligent women with high sex drives who decide to be with him, at least the mortal ones. He wouldn't have to go around constantly reinforcing his control, and when their beauty fades after a decade or two send them on their way with a few million in their bank accounts and a glowing job reference.

KaizerWolf

Pretty much hit the nail on the head, I think in almost all respects (if not all), although what kind of person he is, whether he's an alright person or a bad one, is yet to be seen. Because all those traits could be seen in both. Someone who is bad might just not care to be bothered with stealing another person's women for the fun of it. And then there's the fact that perceptions of 'love' and 'tough love' could be skewed in someone who is immortal (as you noted, in your assessment of how women are viewed and treated). Jonadab and Absalom might be completely different, they might be exactly the same, or Absalom might fall between the two extremes (to be seen).

Christopher Miller

I think I found a typo. "If this girl experiences the pleasure you can give her, it'll make her less hesitant (shouldn't that be more hesitant?) to betray you" Or maybe "less apt" to betray you?

SovietDegendays

My good sir what a cliffhanger I must voice my outrage at such an offense! Awesome chapter.

Anonymous

So I'm re-reading the series and just curious if you have an exact time line for the next full moon? Miriam mentioned on Monday it was just over a week away and from re-reading I expect that's going to be an interesting day and night.

KaizerWolf

Yes. I would have to double-check, but I'm pretty sure it's Wednesday of the following week. As it is now Saturday in the story, that makes it roughly 4 days away. I actually have a year picked out for when this story takes place, which means I have 'dates' for each day, and know exactly when the full-moon is, etc. (so that everything is consistent, not just arbitrary). However, I don't include that information because it's not meant to be a story that happens at a certain 'time' (if that makes sense). Like, if someone reads this a couple of years from now, I want them to feel like it's happening 'now,' and not get stuck on it fitting within a real timeline of the real world.

Anonymous

Ok cool after just reading the chapters with Natalie meeting Miriam and Gwen as well as Avery's chapter realised that might be an eventful day.

Christopher Miller

I'm really excited about these new developments. More than half of the harem have had their arcs. Not saying they couldn't be developed more as characters but it sort of feels like Serenity, Gabriella, Avery, Natalie and Gwen are kind of "set". The MILFs feel like their arcs are on pause, Rosa's has barely begun and Miriam's is ongoing. And now not only are we doing a deep dive into Kai's origins but we have a couple of "bad girls" in Claire and Jerry. While they may not be total bitches it sure feels like they will be bringing some drama and conflict with them to keep things from getting dull. In the past, other than the odd moments where the girls didn't know Kai or just how innocent he really is, they have all been complete sweethearts. That can now change with a couple of entitled princesses in his orbit. Jerry feels like she has the potential to turn into that selfish, obsessed stalker that Avery never was. How is she going to juggle being with Kai as much as she can without drawing suspicion from Absolom? Is Kai &amp; company going to be able to walk that fine line of protecting and nurturing Claire without divulging to much information until they know they can trust her?

KaizerWolf

Do mean Jericho? (the 'Jerry' is throwing me off) Long term, Kai will end up referring to her as Delilah, btw.

Christopher Miller

Yeah, Jerry = Jericho. Seemed like a logical nickname for her when she was alone with him or the other girls.

KaizerWolf

Makes sense now that I'm thinking about it. And it's weird, because I don't inherently like the name Jerry, but that's actually kind of an adorable nickname for someone like her (I could see it working, at least). However, this is one of those situations where I had certain 'intentions' (for her name to just be Jericho), but the characters took on a life of their own and made their own decisions. Meaning, Delilah sincerely hates that name and hasn't used it in basically 3,000 years (hasn't even told anyone she used to be called that), because it reminds her of her unpleasant childhood growing up. And while I wasn't planning on Kai actually asking her what she prefers to be called, he picks up on it subconsciously, and starts referring to her as only Delilah. That being said, maybe I should add that in (at least a thought of what to call her).

KaizerWolf

Yep, really glad you brought this up now. While I plan on posting Combat Healer this coming Sunday, I ended up literally starting the next chapter with a short explanation of what name he is going to choose to call her.

Christopher Miller

BTW, Deliah? Being a little over 3,000 years old is almost the perfect age to be the OG biblical Deliah. Is that her? Or does she just love being looked at as an irresistible temptress?

Christopher Miller

If you are looking for a cutesy nickname for her may I suggest as an abbreviation for Deliah (Duh Lie Luh') Dolli? Deli? Della? Or Depi for Dependance, though having her having to depend on others being thrown in her face may not sit well with her. ::Edit::. As a drama princess I just realized she may hate any nickname given her.

KaizerWolf

That's true about her hating it, but her hating it could also be adorable.

Anonymous

Then again with her being Miriam’s long lost friend she may already have a nickname that Miriam may say if and when they meet or when Kai tells her of the encounter.

Christopher Miller

I had just assumed "Deliah" was the name Miriam knew her by and Kai naming her Dependence and Jericho just left Deliah lost in translation and was never communicated to Miriam through Gwen. But it's a valid point that she may have had yet another name she went by 3,000-2,000 years ago. That is assuming that this is indeed Miriam's missing and presumed deceased succubi friend.

Benedick Avery

Can i just say, this series is absurdly good. Im not generally a huge fan of erotica, but this series just keeps bringing me back and back again. Take my money!!

Anonymous

Got from Chapter 1 to chapter 101 in about a week. Now the wait for the next chapter begins. :)

KaizerWolf

Really glad you like it! And I really appreciate the support! I've been writing on this story for 2 years now, and put in literally thousands of hours into these 100 chapters (often a minimum of 15 hours to up to 30 hours per chapter).

Philip Boivin

This series is my chocolate crack

Lord Shiva

Got to say, reading Kai constant panic throughout this chapter was annoying as fuck. Like I had to take a break in the middle because damn was it annoying. But it makes sense for him to be panicking like that.

KaizerWolf (edited)

Comment edits

2023-01-26 23:57:22 In a previous comment you said "hope you don’t take my comments as anything other than criticism/questions and not hate." So far, I don't believe you’ve asked a single question, but putting that fact aside, most of your comments would firmly fall within the 'complaint' category, not criticism (definitely not 'constructive criticism' as there is no ‘merit’ aside from personal feelings about the situation). Me overusing sincerely 'could' be a very valid constructive criticism, but the way you worded it was a complaint, and all your other comments have been complaints, as follows: &gt; "I sincerely wish that you use sincerely less." (complaint) A criticism would be: 'You use sincerely a lot. You might consider mixing it up' (you could even add some ideas or examples, though that's by no means necessary) &gt; "Uh, I liked the chapter, but hopefully, you do the Rebecca getting influenced part justice." (complaint) &gt; Kai should be upset "...if not a little mad at her" (complaint, in reference to Rebecca getting compelled, and only for a couple of seconds, something completely out of her control) &gt; "...it's similar to getting drunk and cheating" (complaint, with a comparison that I wouldn't agree with at all, and even you agree that it's more like getting roofied) &gt; "...Not sure why we got background information for the first couple of paragraphs about stuff we already know." (complaint -- that chapter was the beginning of Book 7, and it is 'customary' and 'expected' and 'appreciated' to include a recap, especially for a series that is now approaching a Million words in length, as in we are at over 700,000 words right now and it would highly unrealistic for someone to just go back and reread to jog their memory, because people are lazy and even those who aren't lazy might not want to do that -- with that section also being something that you can just skip, instead of complaining about, especially since it’s only “the first couple of paragraphs,” as you said, and especially since I've done a recap for basically every single book so far, to the point that it should be a clear pattern by now, something you can just skip if you want) &gt; "...That, and some of Kai's parts went on for waaaaaay too long." (same as above, especially when combined with above) You even pointed out that the length of that section (and potentially skipping it) "was a minor in-convince," and I would agree with you on that, which is why I'd call it a complaint, not a constructive criticism. Because if I removed it, there would be 'more harm than good' that came from doing so. More people confused about a story they hadn't picked up in over a year, and potentially frustrated that they'd have to go back and reread books, than those who were minorly inconvenienced by skipping a few paragraphs.
2022-12-26 01:30:25 In a previous comment you said "hope you don’t take my comments as anything other than criticism/questions and not hate." So far, I don't believe you’ve asked a single question, but putting that fact aside, most of your comments would firmly fall within the 'complaint' category, not criticism (definitely not 'constructive criticism' as there is no ‘merit’ aside from personal feelings about the situation). Me overusing sincerely 'could' be a very valid constructive criticism, but the way you worded it was a complaint, and all your other comments have been complaints, as follows: > "I sincerely wish that you use sincerely less." (complaint) A criticism would be: 'You use sincerely a lot. You might consider mixing it up' (you could even add some ideas or examples, though that's by no means necessary) > "Uh, I liked the chapter, but hopefully, you do the Rebecca getting influenced part justice." (complaint) > Kai should be upset "...if not a little mad at her" (complaint, in reference to Rebecca getting compelled, and only for a couple of seconds, something completely out of her control) > "...it's similar to getting drunk and cheating" (complaint, with a comparison that I wouldn't agree with at all, and even you agree that it's more like getting roofied) > "...Not sure why we got background information for the first couple of paragraphs about stuff we already know." (complaint -- that chapter was the beginning of Book 7, and it is 'customary' and 'expected' and 'appreciated' to include a recap, especially for a series that is now approaching a Million words in length, as in we are at over 700,000 words right now and it would highly unrealistic for someone to just go back and reread to jog their memory, because people are lazy and even those who aren't lazy might not want to do that -- with that section also being something that you can just skip, instead of complaining about, especially since it’s only “the first couple of paragraphs,” as you said, and especially since I've done a recap for basically every single book so far, to the point that it should be a clear pattern by now, something you can just skip if you want) > "...That, and some of Kai's parts went on for waaaaaay too long." (same as above, especially when combined with above) You even pointed out that the length of that section (and potentially skipping it) "was a minor in-convince," and I would agree with you on that, which is why I'd call it a complaint, not a constructive criticism. Because if I removed it, there would be 'more harm than good' that came from doing so. More people confused about a story they hadn't picked up in over a year, and potentially frustrated that they'd have to go back and reread books, than those who were minorly inconvenienced by skipping a few paragraphs.

In a previous comment you said "hope you don’t take my comments as anything other than criticism/questions and not hate." So far, I don't believe you’ve asked a single question, but putting that fact aside, most of your comments would firmly fall within the 'complaint' category, not criticism (definitely not 'constructive criticism' as there is no ‘merit’ aside from personal feelings about the situation). Me overusing sincerely 'could' be a very valid constructive criticism, but the way you worded it was a complaint, and all your other comments have been complaints, as follows: > "I sincerely wish that you use sincerely less." (complaint) A criticism would be: 'You use sincerely a lot. You might consider mixing it up' (you could even add some ideas or examples, though that's by no means necessary) > "Uh, I liked the chapter, but hopefully, you do the Rebecca getting influenced part justice." (complaint) > Kai should be upset "...if not a little mad at her" (complaint, in reference to Rebecca getting compelled, and only for a couple of seconds, something completely out of her control) > "...it's similar to getting drunk and cheating" (complaint, with a comparison that I wouldn't agree with at all, and even you agree that it's more like getting roofied) > "...Not sure why we got background information for the first couple of paragraphs about stuff we already know." (complaint -- that chapter was the beginning of Book 7, and it is 'customary' and 'expected' and 'appreciated' to include a recap, especially for a series that is now approaching a Million words in length, as in we are at over 700,000 words right now and it would highly unrealistic for someone to just go back and reread to jog their memory, because people are lazy and even those who aren't lazy might not want to do that -- with that section also being something that you can just skip, instead of complaining about, especially since it’s only “the first couple of paragraphs,” as you said, and especially since I've done a recap for basically every single book so far, to the point that it should be a clear pattern by now, something you can just skip if you want) > "...That, and some of Kai's parts went on for waaaaaay too long." (same as above, especially when combined with above) You even pointed out that the length of that section (and potentially skipping it) "was a minor in-convince," and I would agree with you on that, which is why I'd call it a complaint, not a constructive criticism. Because if I removed it, there would be 'more harm than good' that came from doing so. More people confused about a story they hadn't picked up in over a year, and potentially frustrated that they'd have to go back and reread books, than those who were minorly inconvenienced by skipping a few paragraphs.

KaizerWolf

And now we get to this chapter, and your entire comment is a complaint. Like, the fact that you needed to 'take a break' is not a constructive criticism. The fact that you thought that Kai's reaction "was annoying as fuck" and that you had to take a break "because damn was it annoying” is absolutely an unnecessary complaint, especially when saying ‘it was annoying' twice to really emphasize how you feel, and especially when you finish your comment by saying that "it makes sense for him to be panicking like that.” Again, you said “criticism/questions and not hate” but all this complaining sounds like you’re just shitting on the story. Maybe that’s not your intention at all, but you’ve not really had anything positive to say, it’s all just been complaints about this and that. And maybe you ARE only trying to offer some constructive criticism, but maybe just not wording it the best way. Who knows? But what I do know is what the other comments say: There's another guy just above your comment that said: "This series is my chocolate crack" because he loved this chapter. A guy above that said: "this series is absurdly good." Another guy said: "So I'm re-reading the series and just curious if..." (sharing he's read all the chapters multiple times) And I could go on and on, because there a shit ton more comments like that. Some of them even do have a bit of constructive criticism, worded as such. But no one else is complaining about the MC being annoying. Just you. And your opinion about him being annoying is not criticism that is based on any kind of merit, aside from your personal feelings on the matter. Because, as you said yourself, he is reacting realistically to the situation, and he is being understanding and a gentlemen (not an asshole) about certain situations, etc. Like, if for some reason you feel like Kai should be pissed at Rebecca for essentially getting roofied (completely out of her control), especially when nothing even came of it, and if you feel like Kai should somehow not be panicked about the situation he’s found himself in, even though you said it made sense and was understandable, then why are you even reading this story? I’m just not understanding your need to make some of these harsh comments (comments that stand out, compared to everyone else’s, including comments of those who have sincerely given me constructive criticism – shoot, I’ve even made changes to the story due to some comments, but yours all just sound like you’re shitting on the story). I sincerely appreciate the support, but if you're disliking this story so much, then don't force yourself to read it.

Lord Shiva

Okaaay. First, I can see the other peoples comments, most if not all of them are positive comments. That's mostly because they focus on the positive in the chapter. When I comment I usually bring up the 'negatives" of the chapter because I think it goes without saying that my paying 20 bucks a month for this equals that I like this story. Now, I might not have worded my comments a bit badly, but that's mostly because I am naturally very blunt and sarcastic. Can't really help it to be honest. Secondly, I am allowed to not like something about this story, all I said is that I found his panicking annoying, which is something I am allowed to feel. And something which I am allowed to comment about, I was just commenting about the fact that this is what the chapter you wrote made me feel about your character, which isn't something bad. I even said that's what he should feel. That was me dabbing you on the back not kicking you in the balls. &gt; "Uh, I liked the chapter, but hopefully, you do the Rebecca getting influenced part justice." (complaint) Complaint? "I like the chapter" is a complaint? And asking for you to do Rebecca getting influenced justice is a complaint? That's just wishing for it to happen I didn't complain about it. A complaint would be " Why did you not do justice to Rebecca getting influenced? " &gt; "I sincerely wish that you use sincerely less." (complaint) This is criticism, if not worded in a sarcastic way. The sentences after it " Sometimes when you use it in sentences it comes off as weird and out of place. Like there are much much better words to use than sincerely in some of the sentences and paragraphs I saw in this chapter alone." Is constructive criticism. I provide you with a reason and suggest you use other synonyms. "Kai should be upset "...if not a little mad at her" Again not a complaint, but what I think should happen next. "..it's similar to getting drunk and cheating" How is that a complaint? This is what I think it is. I am not complaining about anything. "&gt; "...Not sure why we got background information for the first couple of paragraphs about stuff we already know."" Now that's a complaint. I got your reasoning after you explained it. "That, and some of Kai's parts went on for waaaaaay too long."" Yeah, that's a complaint. I didn't provide you with a reason as to why it's too long. Now this chapter. "And now we get to this chapter, and your entire comment is a complaint." "Like, the fact that you needed to 'take a break' is not a constructive criticism. The fact that you thought that Kai's reaction "was annoying as fuck" and that you had to take a break "because damn was it annoying” is absolutely an unnecessary complaint, especially when saying ‘it was annoying' twice to really emphasize how you feel, and especially when you finish your comment by saying that "it makes sense for him to be panicking like that. Not a complaint. Nowhere was I complaining about something. " All I said was that it was annoying to read about his constant state of panic. And nowhere did I say that that shouldn't be the case. I didn't say "Yeah bro that shit was annoying as fuck, he shouldn't be panicking this much." All I said was that it's annoying and that I had to take a break to reread again, something that you should be proud of because it evokes emotions in your reader. And I even said that was the realistic thing for Kai to feel. I wasn't complaining I was providing you with information about what the chapter invoked in me. I guess you don't like that, and that's fine. I will stop with those comments. Not every single comment needs to be constructive criticism. Some comments are just telling what the reader(me) feels about the chapter, or what about certain characters' actions made the reader feel. So far, I count only two true complaints, one of them you explained, the other I should have probably added a reason for it. Anyways, happy holidays.

KaizerWolf

I should probably add some context to my above comments. I've been writing for several years now, and in that time I've met quite a few people who 'just want to shit on the story,' but they'll try to disguise themselves as fans. In particular, I'll get messages on Facebook, or Facebook comments (though it happens in other places too), where someone will make a statement that is immediately proven to be made false by the following statement. For example, let's talk about reviews on Amazon, and star reviews (just as an example). I'll see someone who rates a book 1-star and says "This was an amazing book, BUT" and then they will shit on the story. The very fact they rated it 1-star automatically proves that they did not like the story, since a 1-star is literally saying "I hope this book burns in hell," and then even if they rated it higher, all the criticism they have is just complaints about how they feel. And sure, they have a right to feel however they want, but I view those people as complete snakes who are trying to seem like they are being fair in their assessment, when in reality they are just review bombing. Going back to Facebook messages, as another example, I might have someone contact me, tell me they are a huge fan, maybe want to know when the next book is released, but when I ask them about the story, they quickly reveal (often just by a basic lack of knowledge) that they have not read the story at all, and sometimes they have read at least the first book, but they have nothing but negative things to say (nothing but complaints). Which is always very...curious...considering they presented themselves as such a big fan. Honestly, those examples are due to review bombing. They are literally individuals who are trying to find out when your book is released, so they can 1-star it on day 1. It's a problem a lot of authors have to deal with, not just me. And they are absolutely snakes. Wolves in sheep clothing. They tend to offer a sandwich criticism, which is really just a fancy way of being a snake (pretending to think positive of something but only shitting on the thing in question). And actually, as I was writing this just now, I just thought of the best context to frame my comments. I've posted the first few chapters of this story on Lit, as well as Scribblehub, and I've had people literally go through every single chapter, leaving ridiculously critical comments (all opinionated) and yet they persist in reading, persist in commenting, persist in talking about how much they hate the story for x, y, z reason. Such 'feedback' is absolutely not helpful to anyone. Certainly not helpful to the author, and all it does is bring unwanted negativity in my life that I don't need. I'm not writing the story for the people who dislike it, I'm writing it for the people who DO like it, and (and this is not in relation to you, but to them), I honestly don't give a shit about what those people think, which is why I usually don't humor their comments. I usually don't read their negative reviews, and on Lit and Scribblehub, I usually just delete their comments. Because it's literally just trolling. And I don't need or want the negativity in my life. Also, I usually flat out tell them to go read something else if they don't like the story, but most of those people treat it like a hobby. To go around complaining and shitting on things. I mean, it IS a hobby for some. That's why there are so many trolls on the internet. That being said, I agree that you are entitled to your opinion and feelings, but I'm going to be honest with you. I really don't 'want' the negativity in my life. I'm not saying that to be rude, I’m just being honest that I really don't need it in my life. I've got enough stuff going on. I don't mind if you want to voice your concerns, but it would be helpful if you could aim to be a little less negative with them. I would appreciate it, at least. As an example, I just recently had someone comment that they think I should do something different, that they don't think something makes sense, that they think a decision I made was bad -- none of which I had a problem with, because it was written as 'this is what I think' (with zero negativity about my decisions 'being stupid' or the MC's decision 'being annoying' etc), and yeah, it was technically a complaint, but it wasn't written like "this chapter was annoying as fuck" and "damn was it annoying" There are a lot of other things I could bring up, but my main point is that (1) your comments are similar to the type of stuff I've dealt with in the past, most of which I just delete or ignore, depending on the situation, and (2) I have a lot of others who do have criticism, some of it mostly complaining, some of it very opinionated, and yet I've never had a problem with it because it's not negative. Kind of like the difference between saying "I don't know what it is about this chapter, but I had to take a break because I just found his panicked reaction annoying. It was a good chapter, and it was a realistic reaction, but it just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason" (the kind of criticism I am used to seeing) Versus your comment: "Got to say...was annoying as fuck. Like I had to take a break...damn was it annoying. But it makes sense for him to be panicking like that." (very negative) I've looked through your old comments, and they didn't used to be so negative at all. Here is just a random example: "Nice chapter! I enjoyed it. I am guessing she is gonna stop taking clients now? Kinda wish she stops not because she almost got raped but because she loved the mc enough to. But welp I am just guessing here, she might not actually stop next chapter." So yeah, if I could ask anything, it would just be a plea to aim for a little more thoughtfulness when you express yourself.

Lord Shiva

Ah, I see the problem here. You took my comment(this one in particular) as me hating when all I saying is that his panic was annoying but makes sense, not that the chapter was annoying. I get it, but let me just rephrase what I am trying to say here. I didn't find this chapter annoying, I found Kai's thought's annoying, but again it makes sense. I found the character's actions annoying is what I am trying to say. Not that Kai himself is annoying. Anyways, I get it. I'll word my comments more positively.