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I got a message today that was hard to read, because it was absolutely true, and it was something I needed to see. It was a respectful but frank and honest assessment of how I've been handling delays and setbacks on the channel/here on Patreon. The core point of it was that the least I can do is to keep you all updated when there is a delay, rather than ghosting you guys. And it made the also very-true statement that it's not the way I would handle delays with my offline employer, and while the channel is a bit of a different situation, it's a similar concept. It's a matter of respect, and it's a matter of delivering on a financial transaction, among other things. And I know it's also causing stress for those of you who worry about me personally when I go radio-silent like that, and that's not fair to you either.

With the number of delays I've had to announce recently in the face of my non-channel work and personal developments taking up more and more of my time, I can admit that I get so nervous about the potential response to adding another delay announcement that I then don't do the bare minimum, which is to let you all know when something isn't going to release as expected. But that just makes the situation worse, and in a way that is fully under my control. Life impacts how much time I can allocate to the channel, but I choose how I communicate that out, and lately I've chosen to not communicate it at all, and that's wrong. Especially after I committed myself to making this a better year. It makes the promises ring hollow. I hear that and I see that. What's the point of having apologized if the behavior has stayed the same.

The release schedule of two videos a week needs to change going forward, at least for a time. I've been able to maintain a pretty intense release schedule for the last four years, and I can admit that there's an element of toxic pride there, that I don't want to admit that I can't keep that up, that I can't keep pulling off anthology style releases, that I can't manage all these parts of my life at once on my own, but if I'm being honest with myself and with you all, that's not feasible anymore with the way my life and my work has changed in that time, particularly lately. At the very least, any kind of back-to-back releases like this one we're in are outside my bandwidth right now. I need to think more on that and come to some conclusions so I can let you all know what I'm ultimately deciding on that front.

Short term: there's a video dropping for early access later today, it's not the Wolf!Anton video from the April Fools anthology, it's a whisper audio. Something simpler that I could get out. The Bonus Audio will release tomorrow. Then the last two April Fools vids will drop as the next releases. While I still like the concept of themed releases like the anthologies, I need to be blunt with myself and you all about the fact that I clearly can't do back to back releases anymore, so I need to stop promising those. Any themed releases like this need to be spread out over a more reasonable time table so I can actually execute on them. And I need to figure out how much content I can realistically get out in a month.

Also: I'm sure there will be comments on this stating that it's worth the wait, to take as long as I need, etc. The sentiment behind that is very kind and very generous, and I appreciate it and the grace that you've given me, but I need to add that not every subscriber or patron feels that way, and they are totally justified in that feeling. While being just subscribed to the channel is free, supporting me here is a monetary thing. And if I'm not delivering on the service they're paying for, then they have every right to be frustrated about that and to act as they see best in response. So while I appreciate the patience that's been offered, I am not owed that patience, and it's completely fair for those who aren't happy to be upset.

Comments

Lex Cordova

Work life balance is definitely important in any line of work. Even if it’s something you like doing. I can’t speak for everyone but I am glad that you are taking the time necessary to do what’s best for you and to change things up that best work for your schedule. Life is hard and it can get rough with the ups and downs. Your communication is appreciated. There is definitely a lot of people here that care about your well being and are appreciative of what you’ve given us. 💗

Remy Darling

I'm just here to support you, man. Artists don't get enough props. I mean, I get it--people being cranky or whatever, but I'm not one of them. I like your work, I had a little extra money, so I became a patron of your Patreon. I haven't even finished half of your videos on YT, so like, I have lots to play with still. Good luck, hon, but beware the burn out. It's real and it's sucks.