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(Removed for KU)

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Captdeth

I love Thera more chapters plz I love salvos to.

Log Daniels

Ehhh don’t mind me I’m just gonna casually drop a bombshell on you.

Melting Sky

Salvos has a way with words.

Lon

Salvos trying to explain to humans that the Old Gods aren't a super weapon to destroy humankind is fascinating. Imagine if they think she is a Kobold spy because of her new class.

Anonymous

It think it’s great, if a bit short for my tastes. Sorry if I keep repeating myself.

Jericho Drakane

Might as well rename Salvos "Cassandra", cause that is some inconvenient Truth.

Alexey Gladkich

So Regnorex tries to make an enormous summoning ritual. Won't it bring the corruption forth with it considering its size?

Anonymous

It probably will, and it is implied that if Ragnorex enters Nexeus, then Spitit King won't remain silent and also might invade. Either way it probably would be the end for the world, if no one can stop either of the two or the corruption itself.

Ulbert

I mean… I would have actually liked some discussion? This at least feels like one of these: Salvos doesn’t have to have a normal conversation, because she’s not a normal human, but by cutting the conversation in half, it doesn’t just cut the chapter heavily in parts that don’t fit together and take a lot of speed and import off it, when the information about the corruption should have enough wait to make everyone at least a bit panicked in an existential way, it doesn’t because it wasn’t some grand reveal. This is one of the prime examples of how destructive POV changes can be and I find it funny because that is something I haven’t said in a long time. Five years ago that was something you had to hurl around, because POV changes were so ubiquitous, you couldn’t hold a mere thought. As nonchalant as this was probably meant to be, the utter lack of engagement from both the characters and the reader really just hurts this chapter. The content could be two paragraphs of tightly packed words, like I don’t know, an interrogation? A quick back and forth that continues where the “Oh, no! Elena warshade wants to talk to me personally and with her high level friends.” suspense is acted upon. This chapter feels like a hard drop in any sort of suspense, which may be very in line for Salvos, but is it for any of the other participants? But seeing as I normally just lurk, unless I really want to say something: Great job. Salvos has come a long way and it is great to see that you as a writer progressed enough to make this more than a casual read. The fiction (at around chapter twenty I first visited your patreon I believe …Salvos just left the Netherworld… did she? Eh.) really shaped to be it’s own flavour of tasty and it’s always great to see people pop off. And no. I won’t leave the server. N E V E R (yes this is hilarious to me; don’t judge me) Tldr: Conflicting everything and an uncharacteristically uninteresting and even harmful (I’d say) POV change Ahoy!

Vexdt

Yeah pov changes can be a double edged sword. On one hand they can show the viewpoints and perspectives of other Charakters if placed well in the story, on the other when they placed like in this chapter they halt /interupt the story flow and let it look like a jigsaw piece

Ulbert

Yeah. PoV changes are something direly needed in any story. You can go a thousand chapters without one, but that just leads to extreme amounts of tunnel vision. That’s also why everyone needs them, but for some reason people have no idea how to implement them. Now side character arcs are fine and something other do enjoy while I do not if its just useless dribble, but PoV changes are great for giving context, creating a new perspective on something you already know about or are about to know. Thing is: if all your PoV change does, is breaking immersion or suspense or if they are repeatedly used for cliffhangers, you just set yourself up for disaster. Constant cliffhangers desensitises your audience until they migrate away, because at some point everyone gets bored/annoyed/angry at it. Killing immersion like in this instance is obviously bad. No one likes being blue balled for nothing. Especially when the conclusion is neither an “aha” moment, nor cathartic, nor suspenseful. In this case it reads like a schoolbook in a topic you are interested in, but then you read it and after a paragraph, you get served up some long winded explanation about something wholly unrelated, until you come back to the juicy stuff and it is literally three words, ending the sentence from the interesting paragraph before. The Disappointed Hercules meme comes to mind. That could’ve been a conversation in which Salvos could have, in the eyes of the beholders, become even more mysterious and even wise to some degree, which could have led to some weird group dynamics because Orgaf knows she’s a demon and Helena is just baffled and so on, while the sole fact that Salvos acts as a teacher is such a juxtaposition that the pure chapter as is acts as a slapstick gag. But I mean it could’ve been more serious as well. Anything but the absolutely neutral, even stale “eh.” This chapter is rn tbh. It’s weird. I haven’t come across a chapter in so long… I believe the quality of webfiction as a whole has increased. Or maybe I was just lucky finding promising authors… eh.

Anonymous

Maybe I'm uncultured but I liked the liked the pov changes in this chapter, and the way it made salvos' arguably very important conversation flow. Gave it an almost comical feeling that I enjoyed. Like it's just cutting to salvos struggling to explain a complex topic, inherently cultural because of how much of it relates to kobolds, and people's views on kobolds. She's come so far, and is absolutely explaining far better then she ever could have prior to now, but it makes total sense for her to be sort of out of her element and characteristically lackadaisical about it. Great chapter imo. A tad short for my tastes, but they can't all be an entire short story on their own haha. Tftc and keep up the good work :)

Ulbert

Now I don’t want to be rude, but you just said that you liked the PoV change, while providing no reason why? Because as it killed the whole conversation flow, I’m not giving points for her being who she is. Again, PoVs are for perspective. This PoV is solely disruptive while having 0 reason for bring there. Yes. It is inherently funny because of her nonchalant ways, but even that is hurt by the PoV change. I’d argue, that taking the PoV change and putting it at the end of the chapter would work way better, as that’d fix most of the chapters flow. Because like not or not, flow is important. And one eh, is not something that will overturn my opinion (not that you tried that or even wanted that) on a discussion that ended well before all of us were born.

Anonymous

Yeah I mean I wasn't really getting too in depth about it ya know. I didn't really have any deep thought haha. Couldn't tell you specifically why, but I liked the way it read. I liked the 'flow', or more so I guess the break in the flow. Your point on it is definitely valid, and for sure more well thought out then mine. I was just going all off of feeling. I can be a fairly shallow reader at times haha. Like you said though, I absolutely wasn't trying to change anyone's opinion or perspective. Just wanted to throw in my two cents. Add some positivity to the mix 😅

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter.