[Tian] 1:12 (Patreon)

I SIT, CROSS-LEGGED ON MY BED.

My eyes are closed. I focus on my core. There has to be something I can do to activate my Feat, Dual Core. But even as I inhale and exhale in rhythmic periods, I do not find a way to manipulate my Aura, let alone turn it into an Aspect.

I can feel it there. While my Qi sits there, like a glowing blob of golden light, the Aura lies inert, unmoving, dull and useless. My core is not split in two. There is only a single place for the energy within me to flow. So, why can I not call upon it?

Sighing, I get to my feet and leave my room. There is only one way for me to learn how to tap into my Aspect. I need a mentor. And only Kalmat can fill that role.

The hall is crowded— busy— but it is not full of the same festive atmosphere as after I killed Galgom. I see Keshiy standing at the corner, giving what sounds like a rousing speech to dispirited members of the Keepers. It is not that effective.

“—I-I… am sure Kalmat knows what he’s doing! I think? Maybe? Um… look, as long as Galgom is dead…” Her voice trails off as I go down a hallway, heading to the aforementioned man’s room.

I mostly pass by closed doors as I turn a few corners. I momentarily pause, spotting Beihal in a room full of what looks like junk. Metal parts fill long tables as the bulky man sits on a chair and tinkers with a strange object. Seiled is next to him, engrossed in what he is doing, asking the occasional questions, not even noticing me standing there.

I continue on until I arrive at Kalmat’s room. I hear voices inside, so I rap lightly and wait outside until the door is pulled open. Nelrel lets me in as I hear the tail-end of the conversation between Kalmat and Nindran.

“Gah! But why do I have’ta do this?”

“Because, Nindran, you are the only other marked in the Keepers,” the man explains, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Everyone knows that, now. You’re the one who told half the city. So, you’re the best one for the job.”

The azure-haired woman throws her hands up in the air, resigning herself. “Guard duty is such a pain in the ass, though— oh hi, Tian.”

“Hello, Nindran.” I step into the room, glancing between the two of them. “Am I interrupting something important?”

“No,” Kalmat says as he clears his throat, “in fact, Ninran and I were just wrapping things up, weren’t we?” He eyes her with a raised brow from his bed.

She scowls. “Fine.” Stalking past me, Nindran heads for the door with her arms crossed behind her head. “I guess I don’t wanna intrude on your flirting time,” she murmurs.

I give her an amused look, and Kalmat just sighs. She leaves the room as he apologizes. “Sorry about her.” He gets to his feet, no longer clothed in nothing but bandages. I can ascertain some marks— wounds on his body that have not fully recovered— but Nelrel really did her job well. “Nindran gets real combative when you ask her to do… anything.”

“An admirable fighting spirit.” He raises a brow as I settle myself onto a chair, glancing back at the door. A smirk crosses through my face. “Just wasted on the wrong things.”

“Why do you sound like you know a lot about that kind of a behavior?”

“Because I was like that once,” I admit, crossing my legs. “Not anymore. However, I had been brash like her before.”

“As a child?” Kalmat peers at me.

I nod. “Yes, and perhaps some of those habits leaked into my youth. Otherwise, those habits are mostly gone now.”

“It may do you some good to act more like Nindran, and do her some good to act more like you,” he chuckles.

I roll my eyes fractionally. “She is fine the way she is,” I say, relaxing. “At least, to me.”

Kalmat blinks. “I… see.” He rubs at his chin, straightening. There is a moment of silence. The only sound in the room comes from Nelrel, who is stirring a bowl of black liquid, giving it a thicker texture. It passes, and finally, he gives me a serious look. “Have you reconsidered, Tian?”

I tap a finger on my elbow. His scrutinizing gaze bores into me. I can tell he is hoping for only one reply. Unfortunately, I do not give it to him.

“I have not,” I say truthfully.

He pauses. I can tell that there is a lot he wants to say. Instead, he just shakes his head. “Is there nothing I can do to change that?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“It really is unfortunate,” Kalmat murmurs. He leans back on his bed. “Well, now that that’s out of the way, I’m assuming you came here for a reason, right?”

“I did.” I raise a hand and place it at my abdomen. Close to where my core is. “I told you I will not aid you with my cultivation abilities, not that I will not aid you at all. I do not wish to deal with the Esh or the En, however if they assail this city, I will act. With whatever I can use to fight without being detrimental to myself.” Meeting his gaze, I continue. “So, it would be mutually beneficial for—”

“Tian,” he cuts me off. I blink as he waves a hand off. “You don’t need to give me an entire pitch, again. I promised you, didn’t I?”

“Certainly, you did. But—”

“And I said you didn’t have to be so formal. Relax. I told you I would teach you how to attune yourself to your Aspect. I am no liar.”

I frown. “I assumed you would have been more reluctant to teach me,” I say. “Especially after my bold assertions against aiding you.”

“You’ve already helped us enough, Tian.” He smiles. “There’s no need to give me that dubious look. Come, close your eyes. I’ll help guide you through it.”

I do as he says. My eyes shut, and the world around me turns black. It does not vanish. Not like when the void consumes me; when that happens, everything just vanishes.

“Breathe slowly. Yes— just like that. Focus on yourself, not on the world around you, but on your very soul.”

I focus on my core. The cycling happening within my body. It is not a conscious thing. It can be— I can control the amount of Qi that passes through my meridians, but it always naturally happens, even if in minute amounts. I focus on the power. The energy there, lying dormant.

“Do you feel your soul?”

“Yes,” I reply softly.

Even with my eyes closed, I can hear Kalmat frown. There is the slight ruffling of his thin, cloth blanket. “I do not think you are,” he eventually says.

Pausing, I raise a brow even as my eyes remain closed. “I… am?”

“If you were, your Aura would be coalescing itself around you.” His words force my eyes open. I look down at my body, seeing nothing. I glance back up at Kalmat, and he has what almost seems like black smoke wisping from his skin. “This— this is how I tap into my Aura.”

I narrow my eyes. It almost looks like he is channeling the Essences. Except, it looks a lot more solid. Less ethereal. Like it can take on a physical form of its own.

And it can. I have seen it. Seen what Kalmat can do with it. So, why is it not working for me?

“Tian, do you… do you know what your soul is?”

I am taken aback. “Of course I do,” I say matter-of-factly. “I have tempered my soul, cleansed my body of any impurities with every medicinal herb I can find. I am quite informed of what my soul is.” It feels like I am being treated like a child again— I have never been so offended.

I can almost hear the lecturing tone of mother, correcting my every mistake, up to even my posture. Even my thoughts had to be pure— just for me to break out of the Bud stage.

Kalmat sits, pondering, as I give him a questioning look. Finally, a voice breaks the silence. However, it does not come from him, but from someone behind me. Nelrel steps forward.  “Perhaps your understanding of the soul is different from one another.” Her gaze rests on the man. “In the first place, the concept had to be taught to you by Granvil, did it not, Kalmat?”

He scratches the back of his head. “Right…” he trails off.

“Granvil?” I eye him with an inquisitive look.

“My mentor,” Kalmat explains, “he is the one who raised me. Taught me how to fight. Taught me my values. And made me who I am today.”

“You sound like you admire him a lot.”

“I really do.” He stares down at the palm of his hand, recollecting his past. “I was a little boy when Galgom first arrived in our world. His Hive suddenly appeared one day. It crashed from the sky during a true night— everyone through the four domains could see it light up the sky. And for a few months, nothing happened. At least, not here.

“By the time we heard the news of Galgom’s conquest, he had already slain the Flamelord. The Blazing Desert had fallen under his rule, and he was coming for the Flourishing Flatlands next. I remembered every Elementalist in the city preparing for battle. It was worse than any monster incursion I had ever experienced, even until now.

“The Grovetender himself came to challenge Galgom. The best Elementalists— my parents included— fought against the Esh and the En. Yet, we lost. My mother and father died. His army of machines seemed unending. I was a scared child. I ran from the city, alone. I was nearly eaten by the monsters out in the wild. But Granvil saved me.”

“He saved you?” I lean forward. “Where did he even come from?”

“He was a Bladewielder from the Blazing Desert. A survivor from a battle, who had seen Galgom’s might. He warned everyone across the other three domains of his conquest. Of his immortality. He told us we should not have faced Galgom. We should have just surrendered and lived under his rule.”

I frown. “Did you not say that he taught you your values? Are you not fighting now because of him?”

Kalmat smiles, almost nostalgically. “He did. For a while, I thought he was a coward. But I realized that he did that because he didn’t want anyone else to suffer. He wanted for Galgom to reveal a weakness before we challenged him. Alas, we found none, and Granvil died. So, I returned to Thornthistle.”

“I am sorry for your loss.”

“It’s fine.” He shakes his head. He holds that morose, reminiscing look on his face for a moment longer. Then faces me. “But I digress— Granvil helped me harness the power of my Aura, but he did not help me find it. I did it myself. Just like you did. All you need is a little push in the right direction.”

“And what is that push?” I tilt my head up, facing the ceiling. “What even is a ‘soul’, according to Granvil?”

In Jhisie, I was taught that my soul is interlinked with my core. My Qi. The more impure my soul is, the more muddled the flow of my Qi through my body will be. Conversely, if my Qi— my core— is unclean, and the energy remains tainted, I will not be able to live a good, strong life.

Medicine and herbs help with that, and so does personal actions to grow your power. But nothing cleanses a core more than reaching into the Heavens and taking in their Essences.

Apparently, this understanding is vastly different from what it is in Utana. “You are your soul,” Kalmat says, as if that is not already obvious. “It is what you are, in your fundamental, core level. It does not matter if you are strong or weak. It does not matter if you are kind of unkind. Just or cruel. If Galgom tries, even he can unlock his Aspect. Not that he’d care enough to do it.”

I lightly place my hand on my chin. “What are you saying?”

“Simply put, you have to reach into the depths of your being. Transform your desires— your wants— into a blade for you to fight with. It will appear, just like that.”

“Is that it?”

“Yes.” The black Aura around him concentrates onto his hand, turning into a sword. “See?” With a flick of his wrist, it vanishes. “You’re already pretty honest with yourself, so it shouldn’t be too hard for you to learn this.”

“I will… try that.” I close my eyes once again, focusing my thoughts not on my core, but on my goals. The reason why I am even helping the Keepers of the Grove in the first place.

Immortality.

Power.

A way back to Jhisie.

I feel my forehead furrowing. Something inside me begins to move. I cannot tell if it is my Qi or something else, because my attention is not on it. My thoughts race. It begins to surge—

And the door slams open, breaks me out of my concentration. Kalmat looks up at the intruder as Nelrel snaps.

“Nindran— by the Grovetender, how many times have I told you to knock before entering?”

“Sorry, Nel.” Her tone of voice does not make it sound like she is sorry at all. Only half of the azure-haired woman is visible, with the other half still behind the doorway. “But, uh, I was just doing my job and… I think we’ve got a ‘lil bit of a problem.”

She steps forward, revealing a man held up around her shoulder. He has pale skin and red hair. His clothes are torn and tattered, revealing dozens of wounds underneath. Kalmat eyes the man, then Nindran.

“What’s going on? Who’s this?”

“He stumbled through the gates of Thornthistle just now. He’s from the Frosty Mountains. Like, really from the Frosty Mountains. He was delirious. I could barely make out what he was saying. But…” She hesitates. Then she sighs, and I stand up with wide eyes. “He said that the Icecaller is dead. Killed by Galgom himself.”