December 30 Update (Patreon)
Content
I always try to be honest with these posts, so I have to say that I haven't really made significant progress on 0.32.0 yet. I do have some pieces done and hope to make it a good release, but I'm not sure how the timing will work.
By objective metrics, 2017 was a really good year for me. I created content I feel happy about and built a stronger foundation for my work in the future. By subjective metrics, this year was very rough.
This year contained some of the most burned out moments I've ever experienced. Not burned out on TLS, or on creating in general - these things still give me life. But there are so many other factors and conditions that just wear me down, and their effect is cumulative. This year marked a significant rise in negative conditions, some of which I can try to adapt to or avoid and others that I'm afraid are simply part of the job.
Because of this cumulative effect, I haven't performed to the standards I set for myself this year. I've done some good work, but there have been so many productive hours lost that shouldn't have been. Believe me, I'm unhappier about this than anyone else, and I've given serious thought as to solutions. But as disciplined as I try to be, there's an element to creative energy that I haven't found a way to control.
People will say that I should take a vacation and consider my mental health, and those are very reasonable comments. Yet this is harder than it sounds. The easiest thing to take a break from is the one I most don't want to give up: actually creating content. Everything else is harder to ignore (though admittedly, some of this is my personality).
Again, I worry this will come across as self-indulgent or fishing for sympathy. But I wanted to bring this up now, soon after I put out an update, instead of raising it later and risking it seeming like an ad hoc excuse. I hope 2018 will be a very productive year, but I want to be clear about the challenges.
Well, that's all for now. In a week I'll be posting reflections on 2017, more positive not in a false way but because I have a ton of positive things to say too. I'll be outlining what you can expect for TLS and other projects in the coming year.
I wish everyone a happy new year! See you in 2018!