SHK CH 439 (Patreon)

(AN: First one is Lilith after her transformation. The one below is Lilin. For those who can’t see the pictures on WN visit my pa treon)

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After taking a deep breath, Lilith exhaled the air out of her lungs. Her eyes gained a new resolve as she finally came to a decision.

“I am sorry.”

“Mom…!”

Lilith ignored the expression of surprise etched on her daughter’s face, “I have already apologized many times during our last discussion on the tower after I told you the truth of your origin.”

Lilith closed her eyes and leaked a rueful sigh out of her lips, “All I ever wanted was your good. All I ever wished was for you to grow strong and survive in this world alone, without needing anyone’s help. I wanted to ready you for the time I would not be there to protect you anymore.

“When I realized that I didn’t have much time left to live, I was happy to know that you hated and despised me. I thought that my death would be less heavy for you if you were to hate and despise me like that. Rather than pain, you would only feel relief by my disappearance from this world. I couldn’t hope for a better outcome for my child.”

She leaked another sigh, more rueful than the one before, “I am sorry. I was stupid. I was blinded by my nihilistic emotions and only thought about things from my perspective. I said that I was making things easier for you but in reality, I was the one taking the easy path out because I did not think I could be a good and loving mother to you, my child.”

“Mom…”

“I am sorry. When Neptune gave me the opportunity to have a child, I jumped at it with little to no hesitation whatsoever. You were… are my responsibility. You never asked to be born in this cruel world and since I wished for you to come into this world, it was my duty to raise and bring you up with as much love as possible.”

Tears fell from her eyes again but Lilith wiped those tears away roughly, without letting them fall from her face, “The last time I made the discussion between us all about me, even though it should have been about you. I am happy and proud of the woman you have become even though I was not the best in guiding you.

“You are not a monster. You were not unwanted and you are definitely anything but untalented.”

Her hair fluttered slightly as she spoke those words to her and her voice was a little bit hoarse. If possible she wanted to even kneel and beg her for forgiveness. But she knew that such a display would only be an insidious way of pressuring her daughter to .

“I am sorry for all the pain I caused. I regret it so much I wish I could change everything. But…I cannot and a hundred of thousand of apologies would not change the pain I inflicted on you.”

This was a simple reality. The talk was cheap. A perpetrator could easily apologize, but whether the apology was accepted depended on the victim.

“The mistakes I committed are things that will haunt the two of us for a long time. I do not ask you to forgive me now. I would even accept it if you never forgive me. This is your right. But please…I beg you. Just give me a second chance.”

This time she could only lower her head, her frazzled hair covered her face entirely and her fists were tightly clenched while on her lap.

“I…If you really decide that you are much better without me, I swear to never bother you again.”

She would only stay away and take care of her from far away.

“If you decide to forgive me, to give me a second chance, I swear to give my all in not making you regret it. I would do anything for you to forgive me.”

“Anything?”

Lilith looked at her daughter, but Lilin simply looked away, “When you say anything. Would you give up on your life?”

“I…Cannot. This life does not belong to me alone anymore.”

Lilith gave a sad smile, “Be it you, Sol, Isis, and all the witches. This life was brought about by taking too many gambles. I can never give up on it, ever again. Doing so would be an insult to all of you.”

Even though her eyes were still red, and she even sniffled a little, the strength in her eyes was unmistakable.

Lilith did not fear death. Never did and never will. She once sought death and even accepted it.

But now. She could not die. If she thought before that her life was worthless. The life she had now was the result of the effort of too many people.

Lilin nodded then said, “Of course asking you to die would be too much. If it’s so…Then what about your sword? Would you give up on your sword?”

This time silence fell.

Lilith looked once again at her daughter and all she could see was dead seriousness.

“I…”

She opened her mouth before biting down her words. She felt like thorns were tearing apart her throat, making her unable to speak.

The sword. In a way, this could be said to be even more important for Lilith than her own life. The path of the sword was one the first thing that truly belonged to her in this world. Her love for the sword was hard to describe.

Could she give up on it? Could she really swear to never old on it?

Lilith closed her eyes painfully but in the end simply released a sigh, “I will.”

She loved the sword. This was her path, the one thing that had illuminated her life for a long time.

But….Lilith remembered the moment when the true light entered her life. She remembered the feeling of joy and fullness she felt as she gave birth to the beautiful girl in front of her.

Lilin may not technically be her daughter. She was more a clone than anything else. But what did it matter?

She had her stomach and gave birth to her. She brought her up and watched her grow all the way.

She was far from a perfect mother. She made many mistakes. Some are worse than the others.

Lilith was her daughter. This was a simple and absolute fact she would never budge on.

She loved the sword…But she loved her daughter even more.

A gentle smile graced her lips and the tension in her shoulder seemed to vanish completely once she came to this realization.

“I will.”

The same exact two words as a moment ago but the feeling behind those words was completely different.

There was no reluctance in her eyes. No longing and Lilin could see this clearer than anyone.

Lilin bowed her head, never having felt so ashamed when she realized what she had asked from her mother and it was even more when she realized that Lilith was ready to give up for her.

“I need to take some air.”

She stood up, ready to flee again as overwhelmed as she was by the emotion feeling both her heart and mind.

But stopped after taking a few steps.

Her back was to Lilith who had stayed unmoving in her seat.

Lilin thought about the future. If she fled now. Things would be no different than what happened in their last discussion.

Whether she accepted to have a better relationship with Lilith or not. She had to make thing clear as procrastination would only bring more sadness in their life.

“I really don’t know what I think about you.”

This was why she spoke. She was confused about her mother.

For Lilin, her mother was both an object of immense respect and worship and also an object of fear and hate.

“I am sorry for asking you to give up on your sword.”

She had gone too far and acted entitled. She did not wish to make Lilith feel more miserable. She took no pleasure in this situation.

“Do you…” She hesitated a little, “Do you really think the two of us can have a normal relationship?”

Was it even possible for the two of them to go back to being normal mother and daughter? After more than 18 years?

Lilith felt her heart take a leap. She knew that this was a chance. She hurriedly stood up and talked to Lilin’s back.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. Perhaps even if I try being a caring mother I will fail miserably. But…I will do my best.”

“I see…”

Lilin nodded and started leaving the tent causing Lilith to look down dejectedly.

“Tomorrow…Could you please teach me your new sword style then?”

Lilith looked up her eyes wide in surprise and almost shouted,

“Yes!”

Lilin had already left but Lilith knew that she had been heard.

Her heart swelled with happiness as she sat back, almost unbelieving.

In the end, all she could do was bow down and tear up a little more as both relief and happiness filled her heart.